7 Things You Should Stop Telling Yourself Today!
As we get closer to the year’s end, it’s important to stop repeating old cycles instead of simply thinking that tacking on more resolutions will change our ways. Do you ever speak lovingly to yourself? Feeling shame, guilt, and fear due to redundancy? Here are 7 things you should stop telling yourself today to get a better mindset and take on the new year with a new attitude.
- Why did this happen to me?
You wonder – how is God or a higher power or Universe looking after you? Why has this happened to you? The reality is, it’s time for a lesson! In my own case in 2004 in the 3rd semester of the MBA program I was enrolled in, I failed two subjects. At the time it looked like the worst time of my life. However, due to these two failed subjects, I was able to continue through to 4th semester and complete my 2 year MBA instead of 1.5 yr MBA and therefore obtain permanent residency. What I didn’t know when I failed those two subjects is that the immigration law changed and me failing those 2 subjects went in my favor.
My lesson- Start believing that life didn’t happen ‘to me’ but happened ‘for me’. Has something similar happened in your life where at the time you felt horrible or miserable only to find out later (days/weeks/months) that it was for the best and probably served you well? Ask yourself….what could be my big lesson (or lessons) here?
- In my opinion…
Know that your opinions are just that – ‘opinions’. Sadly we tell these opinions to ourselves so many times that we start to believe in them. Reality is that if they were a ‘fact’, we could relate them back to a time/date in the past. But that’s not the case is it? If we are thinking ‘I am not enough’, ‘I am unloved’, ‘I am undeserving’ or ‘I am not intelligent’ – then actually who told us that that’s the truth? Was it someone external or it’s a voice that came from within, therefore internal?
My lesson- Take a moment………..chances are you are repeating these statements to yourself again and again and again. If it’s you talking to yourself, what do you think is the message you are feeding into your subconscious mind? Correct, not the ones that are going to help you turn your situation around! One of the suggested questions here would be: How do I get back on track where I exude positive energy and have absolute clarity of my pathway forward?
- I’ve could have done this better…
Are you all of a sudden judging yourself too much? Or have you developed a fear of failure because the loss of confidence is now showing up in current interviews? Are you feeling far too nervous when meeting a new potential employer? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions (it certainly was a ‘yes’ to me earlier this year) then let me tell you something, there is nothing wrong with you!
My lesson- The reason probably why this is happening is because you are either going in a direction or career you are not meant to go to or you have told yourself a story, and you have started to believe in that story. The key question to ask here is: How do I find out my truth and what I was born to do or at least get close to finding it? Because when you follow your truth or your passion, there is generally no fear and usually only nervous excitement.
- ‘I am a failure’!
If you find a voice inside your mind telling you this (sometimes ‘on repeat’) then read on. Did you know the most powerful way to reach somewhere in life is to fail your way forward? If you understood this then half the battle is over. Let me ask you…….how did you learn to walk? You probably said ‘by falling over’! Wait, did someone say….again and again and again? So, it took you months and not hours or days or weeks to walk. How many of you have hurt yourself because of something you’ve done or said in the last twelve months, and keep thinking about it because you think you’ve let yourself down?
My lesson- If you answered yes, then I am guessing that most of you have seen a one-year-old try to walk and hurt himself or herself more times in a day than a grown-up human being probably would in a very long time (physically). What do you think the child says to himself when he falls down? He doesn’t even think about it for more than a few seconds or at most a few minutes and moves on to try again. The one-year-old does that regardless of how many times he or she falls. The key question here is: How do I get that child-like ‘resilience’ again?
- I regret…
Do you regret what’s happened and secretly or openly hoped that it never happened? The probability is when we focus on something like this, our reality can become more painful. It’s just emotional pain and not physical pain. This potentially creates paralysis in our minds. And every moment of anger or angst is not going to hurt the person or company who’s responsible for your redundancy, but it will more than likely bring you more pain.
My lesson- Regret is a poison we drink and expect no harm to ourselves. When we realize this and accept what’s happened – the key question then becomes: What are the stories I am telling myself? Have I turned the situation into a storm, it’s not? What is my purpose really? Is it to keep blaming someone in my own head or find out my vision or mission? How do I go about accepting it and move forward with a purpose?
- I don’t feel like doing anything!
Do you relate to this? And if you are suffering from depression, let’s see what Jim Carrey said – he said “Depression is a call to ‘deep rest’”. You can look it up.
My lesson- It’s important to understand that it’s ok to rest for longer if your situation allows. But when your rest is over or when you are ready to take action then ask yourself: Are my actions today taking me closer to my goals or away from my goals? So if your goal is to find a job, then are my actions today taking me closer to finding a new job or away from it? And if away, how do I get closer to my goals and gain traction?
- I have anxiety…
If you are feeling sad or anxious – don’t wait until it’s too late because if we allow these feelings to stay too long with us, they become your reality. And then we start to live a lie. What happens when you listen to a joke or after watching a comedy scene that you find very funny, you may laugh or smile for a few seconds or few minutes at most. Since we don’t keep laughing remembering that comedy scene or joke for longer than a few minutes, why do we then keep worrying about a thought that hasn’t even happened yet for days/weeks/months and sometimes even years? Or feeling sad about something that’s happened knowing we can’t change it?
My lesson- It’s important to be aware of your feelings but the key question here then probably becomes: How do I become the joy, peace and love I was once and start to love life again? How do I go about finding my true passion? Where’s the best knowledge available as a cure to my problem that I can convert to wisdom and take action?
Words from the Wise
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” These were the words used by Rumi, a 13th-century Persian poet, and scholar.
Everybody goes through pain at some stage in their life. The fine art is knowing how to navigate through that pain in a way that becomes your strength. And the reality is no one else can make a change in your life except you. There is help available but when you have had enough, and are ready to ask these questions to yourself in a way to obtain meaningful answers, then let’s have a chat! Visit www.redundanttoabundant.com and schedule a call with Gagan.
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter, TikTok, or Instagram.
Gagan Gupta is a Clarity Coach who suffered from sadness, depression, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety. Gagan ultimately changed his life around and now his mission is to ‘Save one Gagan at a time’. His full story is on his website. Schedule a call with Gagan now.