18 Things To Do If You Aren’t having the Kind of Sex You Want To
Sex, when it’s good, it’s great, and when it isn’t quite what you want, it can be terrible. The good news is, if you aren’t having the kinds of sex you really want right now, there are tons of things you can do to change that…
1. Communication is Sexy
First things first: talk about it. Yes, it might feel a bit awkward to start a convo about your sex life, but communication is the bedrock of great sex. Don’t just complain or criticize—share your fantasies about having an amazing time with a lady or whatever, likes, dislikes, and encourage your partner to do the same. Think of it as creating your personalized sexy menu. Who doesn’t love a tailor-made order?
2. Educate Yourself
No, we’re not suggesting a return to sex-ed class with awkward diagrams and bananas. Instead, dive into some adult sex education through books, workshops, or online courses. Knowledge is power, and in this case, it’s also pleasure. Learn about techniques, positions, and maybe a bit of kink if you’re feeling adventurous. Your bedroom could turn into the most fun classroom ever.
3. Experiment with Toys
Introducing sex toys isn’t just adding a buzz to your love life—it’s about exploring new avenues of pleasure. Whether it’s vibrators, rings, or more adventurous BDSM gear, toys can bring a whole new dimension to your bedroom. Plus, shopping for them can be an exciting experience on its own. Talk about a fun date night idea!
4. Set the Scene
Never underestimate the power of ambiance. Create a sensual environment with dim lighting, sexy music, or scented candles. It’s like setting the stage for a romantic play, where you and your partner are the stars. Make your bedroom a sanctuary of seduction rather than just another room in your house.
5. Schedule It
Okay, it might sound like the least sexy thing ever, but scheduling sex can actually build anticipation and excitement. In our busy lives, it’s easy to let sex slide down the to-do list. So, pencil it in! Treat it like an important appointment you can’t miss—because, frankly, you shouldn’t.
6. Focus on Foreplay
Rushing to the main event? Time to bring foreplay back into the spotlight. Extend the build-up and savor the appetizers before the main course. Foreplay can be anything from flirtatious texts during the day to a steamy make-out session. It’s about enjoying the journey, not just the destination.
7. Take Care of Your Body
Your physical health impacts your sex life more than you might think. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and enough sleep can boost your stamina and improve your self-esteem. Plus, feeling good about your body makes it easier to get naked and naughty.
8. Try a Staycation
Sometimes a change of scenery can do wonders. Book a night in a local hotel to break the routine. It’s like a mini-vacation dedicated to reconnecting sexually without the distractions of home life. Room service, anyone?
9. Consult a Therapist
If things in the bedroom are consistently lackluster and it’s impacting your relationship, it might be time to talk to a professional. Sex therapists specialize in navigating complex sexual issues and can offer strategies and insights that are beyond the reach of Google or your well-meaning friends.
10. Change Up the Routine
If you find yourself stuck in a sexual rut, it’s time to switch up the routine. Try initiating sex at different times of the day or experiment with new positions to break the monotony. Sometimes, the thrill of novelty alone can reignite passion.
11. Introduce Sensual Touch
Incorporate more non-sexual, sensual touch into your relationship. Massages, gentle caressing, or simply holding each other can enhance intimacy and increase desire without the pressure of performance. It’s about connecting physically and emotionally, which can lead to more fulfilling sexual experiences.
12. Play Games
Introduce some playful competitiveness with sex games. Whether it’s a game of sexy truth or dare, or a role-playing scenario, games can add an element of fun and spontaneity to your sexual encounters. It’s a chance to explore new fantasies in a fun, low-pressure environment.
13. Use Technology
Take advantage of technology to spice up your sex life. Apps that facilitate romantic ideas, guide new sexual positions, or even help you create a personal relationship calendar can be incredibly useful. Technology can also help maintain intimacy in long-distance relationships with features like secure video calls.
14. Create a ‘Yes, No, Maybe’ List
Sit down with your partner and each make a list of things you definitely want to try (Yes), things you might be open to (Maybe), and things you are not interested in (No). This exercise can open up discussions about desires and boundaries and spark interest in new activities you both are excited to try.
15. Practice Mindfulness
Being mentally present during sex can greatly enhance the experience. Practice mindfulness to tune out distractions and focus intensely on the sensations and the experience. This can deepen your connection during sex and make it more satisfying for both partners.
16. Explore Erotic Literature or Media
Sometimes, a little erotic literature or media can inspire new ideas and get you in the mood. Explore this together or separately, and discuss what each of you found intriguing. It’s a way to get new ideas and understand each other’s desires better.
17. Attend Workshops or Retreats
Look for workshops or retreats that focus on intimacy and sexual health. These can provide valuable insights and techniques for enhancing your sex life, and doing it as a couple can strengthen your bond and commitment to improving this aspect of your relationship.
18. Relax and Have Fun
Finally, keep a sense of humor and adventure about it all. Sex should be fun, playful, and a bit silly at times. Laughing together can be incredibly sexy and helps to relieve any performance pressure. Remember, it’s not just about the orgasms; it’s about the connection and enjoyment you share.
If you aren’t having the kind of sex you really want to you do not have to remain dissatisfied – try doing all of the above instead!
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