It doesn’t matter how rich or famous you are, everyone has low points in life. Life happens to all of us, and it’s not always plain sailing; sometimes, it’s downright tricky. Getting back up again when things seem like they’re never going to get better is not easy, but it can be done, and you don’t have to be afraid of it. Sometimes, your life falls apart when you are desperate for it all to stay together, and we all face challenges that feel insurmountable.
The question isn’t whether they CAN be overcome, its when you plan to get up and make it happen. You don’t want to spend your life feeling miserable any more than anyone else does, and whether your pick up requires you to be in drug treatment programs or you simply need to give your mental and spiritual health a boost, it’s time to get back up again. You don’t just have to survive: you can thrive, all you have to do is be willing to put both feet down and stand up slowly. Here’s how you can do it:
Get Back To Your Routine
Life can be traumatic, but there are particular ways to get through it. The very first one is to get back into your routine as quickly as possible. Get back to work, start attending classes again, pass the time with hobbies. No matter what you do, you need to find that routine and stick at it.
Get Support
You need your friends and family around you, and it’s precisely where they want to be. You need to have people you can call any time of day or night just to listen when you start to break, and you will be able to survive it. Don’t think that you are alone: everyone needs somebody, and you have to believe that you can rely on people to help you.
Make A List
Check it twice if you must, but you need a list of reasons to keep surviving even when it feels impossible. It doesn’t matter what you write: everything is significant for you. Think about keeping this list with you at all times, and you will always have something to remind you why you’re getting up again.
Get A Therapist
Family and friends are excellent support, but when life knocks you to your knees, you can benefit from professional help that will be there for you in a way that others can’t be. Therapy is necessary for healing, so don’t discount the benefits of a therapist in your life.
Time
Lastly, you need time. The best gift that you can give yourself is time to heal, time to move forward and time to get it right. Don’t be discouraged – this is a process that you need to go through to get well, and getting better is an absolute priority for you.
You deserve a life of happiness – it’s up to you to go and get it.
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.
The
first time I saw 50 Shades of Grey was at a private promotional showing with
about fifty of my co-workers, including my boss and his wife… Awkward.
Nevertheless, no matter how uncomfortable
the situation was, in which I was watching the box-office porn, the fact was
the title was becoming a household name worldwide.
People of all ages were getting the inside scoop on non-disclosed kink. Even my
dad, who never saw the movie, nor read the books, could make references to the
storyline. Talk about really awkward—Side note: I’m now a firm believer that
some things should never be discussed between a father and a daughter.
Anyhow, after the movie hit nationwide, the increase of emergency room visits due to sexually related injuries jumped up to a huge 20%. As a Lifestyle Blogger and talk show guest that preaches on sexual health, I felt it was imperative to work with the right experts to help couples learn proper etiquette in spicing up their love life. I started to publish posts and infographics on things like, Introduction to Bondage. I thought if curious men and women had the right information, they could safely venture into uncharted territories without ending up in the ER. Right?
50 Shades Trilogy now available OnDemand… I sat down with a gynecologist specialist, who has been my long-time confidential source for Sexual Health. We discussed some incredibly disturbing stats. The increasing cases of women coming into her office with serious sexual trauma that was encountered during consensual sex is staggering. ‘Smash, pound, break or tear up’ have all been used as synonyms for sex, but these words should never be taken literal. Women have resulted in being beaten, strangled, scratched, bitten, torn, etc. all with the intent of having enjoyable, agreed-upon sex.
Whether it was called making love, a booty-call or simply a good-time, at some point the objective of pleasurable sex went terribly wrong amidst intercourse. External and internal injuries were obtained. Short-term and long-term damages were done physically as well as emotionally. And sadly, the culprit of it all stems from some undereducated partner acting out some over ambitious fantasy and chalking it up to having a good ‘fuck’. Let me break it to you, there’s nothing good about this kind of intimacy. The reason I can openly say ‘under-educated’ is simple, and this might come as a shock to some, but the fact is life is not a porno.
Here’s a quick history lesson…
Pornography was originally created, many moons ago, to be an educational tool for husbands and wives to have better sex lives, but quickly shifted into the world of entertainment. Professional studio-created porn was, and still is, acting. A tap can appear like a slap and what looks like a bite is actually a brush of the teeth, all in hopes to heighten the visual allure. And yes, many individuals find the thought of shedding the stink of their own dull, boring, or routine sex lives very appealing. There is a multi-billion-dollar industry that is banking on the fact that you and your partner are ready to take it up a notch in the bedroom.
There are plenty of toys, gadgets, videos and clothing that can help bolster a couple going through a dry spell. Judge-free, if that is for you and your mate. My only advice, understand how it works. Just because you see a pilot fly a plane, doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it. Be sure to do your research on safety, including proper hygiene. And please, only proceed when you know that you and your partner are both on the same page.
There is
a very thin line detecting pleasure between pain when it comes to the receptors
in the brain. Even though, there is an incredible difference from the mind
wanting to do that again, or saying, WARNING: Never Again!
Look, if
you are making someone bleed or say ‘ouch’ during one of the most intimate and
vulnerable moments of your lives, you are doing something really wrong!
Ladies,
I need you to hear this loud and clear: if you are allowing your partner to
cause more pain than pleasure or they are provoking any kind of damage to your
cervix, all in the name of a ‘good-time’, you, too, are doing it wrong!
Over this
past week, several newly-released comedies have referred to rough sex and strangulation
as the new normal. This action should not be perceived as the standard in
exploring one another. I’m not criticizing lovers that prefer some titillating
practices. I’m only suggesting you and your partner cultivate a sexual experience
you can both enjoy. Sex is about trust, and like as with anything else in life,
trust builds over time.
There’s a sad truth in which society wants to
take love out of the bedroom and replace it with carnal desires. Not everyone
agrees with this trend. However, if you do agree – fantastic! If that’s your
kind of thing. But don’t remove compassion and call it passion. I think being
adventurous in between the sheets is absolutely healthy, especially when you
and your partner have taken all the proper precautions. Including, and I can’t
stress this enough, you must both be ready and willing!
Rule of
thumb: if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then you probably shouldn’t be
doing it to your partner unless they request it, and vice versa.
Sexual injuries caused by a consensual sex partner are climbing at an appalling and unpredictable rate. In these such cases, women are on the verge of appearing assaulted. There is no demographical or stereotypical pattern. These are upstanding, strong, educated women. These inflicted injuries have affected a range of individuals who have just met their partner to lovers, who have been ‘experimenting’ within a committed, long-term relationship. The age ranges fluctuate, too. But the one thing that all these cases have in common is the injured party, who is left feeling confused, ashamed and violated. This kind of practice bares some questions.
Is this sexual assault? No. Okay, well then is this consensual? Not exactly. Don’t get hysterical by my choice of words. There is a HUGE difference between someone being forced to do something beyond their will and someone that voluntarily took part in an intimate experience. None-the-less, most of these injured women experienced many moments of pleasure coupled with veins of sheer terror. Hence why, the aftermath takes such a physical and emotional toll. This area is the only shade of this Grey we should be focusing on and fix it before it ruins lives and reputations. No one is saying the individuals in these cases are ready to march in the #metoo movement. But no one, and I mean no one, should be physically hurt or humiliated while partaking in close human contact.
As women
stand up for one another, on so many other important ‘body’ matters nowadays,
it is also time to stand up for intimacy. For women, …and men. And above all,
for the younger generations and the ‘human’ in all of us. Let’s not be fooled
here. Passing off pinned up sexual aggression or re-enacting what you might
have seen on the flat screen as the proper way to engage in a sexual
experience, while your partner isn’t enjoying themselves, is simply yucky!
If you are the dominate…
Please speak openly with your partner on your desires. Respect their boundaries. Have a safe word. And most of all, remember, no means no. Real life isn’t a movie and you are not Christian Grey, okay.
If you are the submissive…
Boldly voice your concerns. Bad choices can bring on regret, but regret doesn’t equal victim. So, don’t be shy to speak up if you aren’t enjoying yourself. If something hurts, tell your partner. And if things are getting out of control, try to smartly defuse the situation without causing confrontation, and do your best to get out of there. Don’t be a victim.
According
to my source, another thing that should be brought to light is the alarming
misuse of medications among the younger generations. Cocktails mixed with
erection-stimulating meds and/or steroid use in order to lengthen the sexual
experience is causing destressing, unwarranted aggression within the bedroom.
Using medications without doctor’s supervision can cause serious mental issues
like ‘roid-rage’ and/or physical, irrevocable damages to yourself and your
partner. There’s a strong possibility these concoctions are impairing the user
judgment and sensation, causing them to thrust or pounce with more aggression. And
because they’re numb, they are unaware of their vigor and the potential pain
they are inflicting. This combination only has the opportunity of ending in devastating
damage to both parties. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. It’s safer, smarter,
and honestly, more enjoyable to live out your fantasies one round at a time, no
matter how quick it is.
Genuine
love and desire for your partner does, truthfully, enhance the fantasy world.
However, we all know hook-ups happen. Safety is the first thing to practice in
every sexual situation, starting with protection. Condoms and dental dams
really do reduce the chances of spreading nasty things. So, whether you’re a
man or a woman, if some sly one tells you, ‘It doesn’t feel as good with
protection’. Your only response should be, ‘But it feels so much better than no
sex, right?’.
This isn’t men vs. women’s primal desires. This is about achieving desires and not disasters. This isn’t a sexuality issue. This is a sex issue. This isn’t a generational problem. This is a lack-of-information problem. Sex shouldn’t leave someone physically damaged.
Disregard
all you think you know about the red-room of pain, and have an honest and
colorful conversation about your sexual wants and needs. Don’t let any form of
entertainment give you a false assessment of what real intercourse should be.
We need to address this issue before things get out completely out of hand.
With so many sexual accusations flying around out there and people making laws
about what people can and can’t do with their bodies, this is one of those
situations that can cause a lot of future complications if not discussed and
handled maturely between partners.
At the risk of sounding 100 years-old, you need to understand your body is the most precious thing that you can share with another human being. According to recent surveys, monogamy is making a strong comeback in both heterosexual and LGBT circles. Fantasies are finding ways to becoming healthy realties. And protected sex is considered cool. So, let’s take all the trauma and the 50 Shades of ‘scary’ out of intimacy. Sex should be a beautiful thing. And exploration should feel good. Whether you like it or not, humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. And unlike the necessity it is within the animal kingdom, humans can choose to have sex for pleasure, love and closeness. So, do the rest of the mobile upright a favor, and stop taking yourself and others for granted.
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.
Author’s Bio: Tia Cristy is a radio
personality/influencer and the owner of TipsfromTia.com where she provides tips on
beauty, lifestyle and sexual health. You can find her, Like and Share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram @TipsfromTia
There’s nothing more infuriating as a woman than standing in the garage while a mechanic tries to overcharge you for repairs to your car, because he assumes you don’t know anything about it. Instead of having to phone your brother, or accept your husband’s mocking, every time your engine is making a strange noise, learn some basic car maintenance tips, so you can be in charge of your own car.
There are some basic maintenance tasks that all cars need on a regular basis. Learning how to do them yourself will save you money instead of paying a professional, or will save you the embarrassment of having to ask for help.
Learn how to top up your washer fluid. This is a really simple task once you’ve identified where the fluid goes, and will take less than a minute to do. Learn how to check your tire pressure. In most cars, you’ll find a sticker on the driver’s side door which tiles you what your tire pressure should be. Unscrew the air cap on the tire and press the gauge into the slot. Easy.
Another simple task is checking your oil level. All you do is slide the dipstick out of the engine. Wipe it clean, and pop it back. Lift it back out and see where the oil level is. There should be some guidelines on the stick to show you where to look. If it’s low, just top up the oil tank.
Learn How To Change A Flat Tire
Don’t end up stranded at the side of the road with a flat tire and no idea how to change it. If you don’t have a spare tire, get one, and store it safely in the car. Ask someone to teach you how to change it, or find a guide on YouTube. You might find yourself very grateful of the skill one day!
Learn To Jump Start
Accidentally left a light on in the car overnight and now can’t get the engine to start. First, check the battery is actually the problem. To do this, check to see if the headlights or any interior lights come on. If they don’t, the battery is probably dead.
To jump start a car, you’ll need a second car with a working battery. Check the location of the battery in each car, and then park the cars close together. Turn off everything in both cars. With your jumper cables, attach the red clips to the positive terminal of the battery (it’ll have POS or a plus sign on it). Attach one black clip to the negative terminal of the working battery. Attach the other black slip to an unpainted metal surface on the car. The strut that holds up the hood is ideal. Start the working car and let the engine run for a few minutes. Try your engine. If it doesn’t work, check the connections and let the other engine run for five minutes before trying again.
Buy The Right Gas
Filling your with good quality gas will prolong its life. Choose gas from a trusted company whenever you fill up.
Try to avoid letting the tank get less than a quarter full. The gas tank can get sediment inside it, and letting the car run too empty runs the risk of that sediment getting into the fuel filter.
Keep Things Clean
Caring for your car will help it last longer. Make sure you clean the car inside and out, even in winter, to get rid of dirt buildup. If you have a leather interior, care for it with proper leather conditioner to keep it supple and in good condition.
Keep an old blanket or towels in the car to protect your interior if you ever need to move anything dirty, whether that’s picking up second hand furniture or driving home with the dog after a muddy walk.
Know When It’s Time To Call A Professional
While it’s important to know how to take the best care of your car, it’s also important to know when you’re beaten. If you’re not sure how to do something, always take your car to a mechanic instead of trying to fix the problem yourself. This is much safer for you and your car. For things like transmission repair, engine repairs or anything else you’re not sure about, call in the professionals.
Knowing how to look after your own car is very rewarding and will help you keep your car in top condition, without having to rely on others.Â
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.
Do you ever feel like your life is organised chaos? In fact, some of you might go as far as to say your life is very much unorganised chaos, and we can totally relate to that. When you have so many thoughts going through your mind, all of the time, and so many things that you have to do in a day, it can often feel like you are so not organised in life. You might not realise it, but this is actually going to lead to long term stress, and mental health is becoming too common to ignore that. Because stress is the leading cause of anxiety related mental health problems, as well as depression. So the aim of this post is going to be to try and turn your life completely away from anything chaos related, and into the calm. We’ve got a couple of tips that should help to strip some of that chaos away from you, and move into a more calm period in your life. Sound like what you’re looking for? Keep on reading to find out more!
So this is something that pretty much all of us are good at putting off, for a very long time. When you have your own family, or when you’ve owned your own home for a good couple of years, the amount of clutter can really build up. Not only that, the renovation work that you might want to do, might only add to the clutter.. So if you feel like it’s getting to the point where this needs to happen, you’re first going to have to think about bin hire. It’s going to save you so much time getting a bin hired for your home, and you’ll soon be able to get things done. So have a real good clear out, and look at anything you don’t like or don’t use anymore. You might be able to donate some of it! Once you dedicate a few hours to this, you’ll be surprised at how much space frees up.
Keep Your Days On Track
Sometimes it’s so hard to keep your days on track, especially if you’re always filling it with one thing after the other. Sometimes it’s hard to stick to it when you don’t write it down, so as silly as it might sound, a daily to-do list can help you to keep your days on track. If you do everything in order and quickly, you might find you free up more of your evenings and weekends!
Calm Your Thoughts
So we spoke about mental health in the beginning, and we know how prominent it is at the minute. So one thing we’d recommend is yoga. It’s a great way to process the thoughts in your mind, and help you to empty your head. The more stressful thoughts you’re having, the more negative you’re going to feel. But taking that time to truly relax through yoga can really help that. There are simple guides that will get you going online.
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.
It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.
Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:
They’re Your Best Friend
Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.
You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way
It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.
You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells
Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.
With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.
