Couples Therapy: Choosing to Live Together
There once was a time when young girls and boys made dreams and plans on whom they were going to marry. However, it seems like times have changed, and 20-somethings aren’t running down the alter as fast as their parents did.
Millennials Saying ‘I Don’t’
Today with the divorce ratio so high, studies show those that the now young adults are choosing to live together instead of making their commitment legal. In fact, these same studies are showing couples maintaining a more loving relationship with higher prospects of longevity.
Commitment Without ‘I Do’
Many couples start out ‘talking’. If they really feel a connection, they become ‘exclusive’. But then what, what’s next? For starters, it seems like the true commitment nowadays starts at the point of exclusivity. Choosing to be in a healthy, monogamous relationship is a start in the right direction. However, older generations might not understand the choice of living out of wedlock. They might even think the way Millennials handle being committed to one another is simply a strong mindset to no longer swipe left or right on a dating app. But let’s be honest, it’s so much more than that…
Choosing Who to be Exclusive With
It’s always been important throughout the ages to choose the right partner in life. But today, I think couples aren’t afraid to wait for the right person. Not many women in today’s world fear being an classified as an ‘old maid’. Thanks to Destiny’s Child, woman celebrate their financial independence. Men also have no shame in waiting. Couples dig deeper, looking to one another in how this relationship makes sense on all-levels, not solely based on the feeling of being head-over-heels in love.
Time for You to Move In
Establishing some boundaries in the beginning of living together is important because as time goes on, in any relationship, married or not, boundaries form as well as breakdown. When you have an idea of what one another expects or needs, it’s not a total shock when you find out how your partner really lives 24/7.
Fighting like Your Married
Just because you didn’t cut a cake together doesn’t mean you won’t have rough times. Relationships are meant to have growing pains. Just because a couple isn’t married, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be self-serving all the time. A relationship is about devotion. Make time for one another, plan dates, divvy up the chores, and give each other safe spaces. These are the things that keep a relationship strong without building resentment. And now I should mention, just because you’re not married doesn’t give you a free pass to cut and run when times get hard. Because guess what, times may get hard. It’s part of life whether you’re single, in a relationship or married. Couples therapy has become very mainstream. Speaking to a counselor, instead of your closest friends could be more beneficial in your relationship.
Marriage Isn’t Off the Table
Just because you choose to not get married today doesn’t mean it never can happen. Plenty of long-term couples start families, and then decide to tie the knot down the line. It is true that it’s easier to ‘Do’ than un-do a marriage. But as long as you and your partner are on the same page about making a vow of commitment without the legal paperwork, building a happy life together, with or without children, is absolutely possible. Remember, fairytales are what you make of them.
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