Tag Archives: divorce and kids

Keeping An Even Keel During A Divorce

Keeping An Even Keel During A Divorce

The end of a marriage is an emotionally turbulent time, to say the very least. It can feel like your life is getting turned upside down and it can be hard to keep hold of yourself without stress tearing you in a bunch of different directions. However, it’s not impossible to get through it in one piece.

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Don’t sacrifice long-term happiness for short-term goals

If you’re feeling hurt during a divorce, it’s easy to want to hurt your ex-partner back. Sometimes, the ways that you hurt them might also hurt people close to you, such as your friends or children. You may force people to pick sides and end up jeopardizing your own relationships. Try to manage your priorities and think about where you’re going to be after the divorce, not just in the immediate future. The urge to seek revenge or some sort of compensation can be very strong, indeed, but you shouldn’t put it above your needs for a healthy and happy life past the divorce.

If you can, keep things civil

Emotions might be running high, but unless one partner is fully at fault for the divorce, such as in the result on infidelity, you should try to keep those emotions out of the actual legal process. For instance, instance of taking them to court, you could look for divorce mediation in your area. The urge to make things combative and to get yours might be strong, but you should take the time to think about what you want not just for yourself after the divorce, but what you really want for your ex-partner. Is hurting them more important than protecting everyone involved?

Handle your children with care

Arguing over the kids as a couple is going to strain everyone’s familial relationships. Unless your ex-partner is genuinely a threat to your children, you should hope that everyone has a better relationship after the divorce. As such, let a lawyer for child custody take care of the legal battle surrounding the children. Most importantly, try to explain to your children what is happening without trying to win them over to your side. Weaponizing your kids during a divorce is literally the worst thing you can do for your relationship and their emotional health.

Anticipate the worst

You’re going to be dealing with some ugly emotions and you might not only hate your ex-partner at times, you might find some self-hatred in there. Managing your divorce as best as possible can help you move on from those feelings, but you should also expect anger from your ex.If you’re not prepared for their own negative reactions, you can find yourself getting caught off guard and being dragged into an unhealthy back and forth. Knowing what to expect can help you simply abide it and keep working for a healthier conclusion.

It’s important to make sure you get legal help where you need, emotional support when you need, and to not mix up the divorce with your relationships with children and friends. Think not just about the divorce, but about what comes after, as well.

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The Dos And Don’ts Of Not Living With Your Kids

The Dos And Don’ts Of Not Living With Your Kids

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If you are now separated from your partner, you might find that it’s difficult to adjust to your new life. You might have had to find a new place to live, which could have proven to be very stressful on its own, but you might also now be living apart from your children. Some parents will find this a very upsetting situation to come to terms with, but it doesn’t always have to be bad. You will certainly be able to still see your children, and they might even be able to stay the weekends at yours.

To help you get used to living apart from your kids, here are some very useful dos and don’ts.

Do Know Your Rights

First of all, it might be necessary for you to know what your divorced father’s rights are. If you are a divorced mother who is living away from your kids, your rights will be very similar to those mentioned in the link. Unless you have shown some serious signs of neglect or of being a poor parent, then you will be allowed to see your kids on a regular basis. If you and your ex are still on good terms, you might want to agree to the kids spending so many nights at yours throughout the week. If you aren’t on good terms and your ex tries to keep you away from your kids, you should be within your legal rights to go to court and fight for better access.

Don’t Stop Paying Maintenance

You will be legally required to pay maintenance to your ex partner if the kids live with them for most of the time. In fact, even parents who don’t see their children are still obliged to pay for their maintenance. You must make sure that you make every payment on time otherwise you could end up being taken to court. If you do care for your children, though, I’m sure that you will be more than happy to pay this money to help support them.

Do Find A Support Network

If you do find that it is hard being separated from your kids for so long, you might find it really useful finding a support group. There are lots of these groups around the country that are made up of divorced or separated parents who no longer live with their kids. You will be able to offer each other help and advice. This is also a great way to meet some new friends who are in a similar situation to yourself.

Don’t Get Too Down About The Situation

It can be easy to start to feel very negative about your new life, but dwelling on this will  only make you feel much worse. Ideally, you should try to stay positive. At least you can be very happy about still being able to see your kids on a regular basis!

You will find that you adapt to this new life situation if you follow these dos and don’ts.


Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.