For those single people looking for love, the COVID-19 pandemic has thrown a spanner in the works for the usual dating dynamic.
Even for a generation used to finding dates through apps and online dating platforms, the ability to then take the next step, and get to know our potential partners has been taken away. It can make those first few dates potentially very awkward. The usual way of building and showing connection and attraction are no longer possible. There are still many options for meeting people online including video dating, dating lines for lesbian and gay community and a range of free dating sites aimed at those who are single during these strange times.
For some people, social distancing can actually benefit them on those first few dates. If you’re a particularly shy person, or are worried about any expectations of physical intimacy during a date, then having to remain socially distant can relieve the weight of expectation, allowing you to be yourself and connect on a social and intellectual level.
Over the first stages of courtship have been taking place over video chat or virtual dates but when it’s time to finally meet, how can you plan your date while still respecting social distancing rules?
It’s time to get creative in planning your dates.
Try a sport
If you and your date are the sporty type, then there are a few creative options for an ‘active’ date. Tennis, ping pong, outdoor bowling or badminton are all great options and can all be played outdoors. Not only will you be able to observe social distancing and see how competitive your date is.
City Walking Tour
If you both live in or near a big city, then a walking tour can be an ideal way to get to know each other while discovering more about the place that you live. You’d be amazed how much you’ve never noticed before and the tour element will mean that you always have something to talk about.
City centres are much less busy at the moment so keeping your distance is much easier.
While walking is a great idea for a date, keep to busier or populated areas for safety reasons when meeting someone new.
Food and dates have always gone together perfectly. A romantic outdoor picnic in a park can give you that same emotional connection while still maintaining a safe distance. It will give you a chance to show off any culinary skills.
Who knows how long the dating landscape is likely to be affected by COVID-19 legislation. Many people experienced loneliness and disconnection throughout lockdown, so maintaining social connections is a great way to combat those effects.
Always follow your state and national guidelines for the latest health advice on COVID-19 and ensure that you’re following those guidelines.
If your date turns into something more, then you’ll always have an interesting story to tell about how you fell in love.
My Take on How the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Reveals Why Divorce is so Prevalent Today (Spoilers Season 3)
Season 4 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel has been confirmed! This however, is my personal take on Midge continuing to make poor decisions on her romantic life. *WARNING: There are spoilers of season 3 ahead.
We all love Midge Maisel. She’s smart, pretty and
witty as hell. However, no hat in the world can hide the fact that her love
life is a mess. She’s got her choice in fine looking men, of course. But her
decisions showcase what a lot of us do wrong today.
First, lets take a look at the ex-husband, Joel Maisel…
Joel is a hardworking man who steps up to take care of his kids. Kudos, Joel! There should be more of that in the world. But when we take a deeper look into Joel’s ability to love, that’s when things get little wonky. Joel was married to Midge, living the American Dream: A beautiful family, a fabulous apartment in the societies of NYC and he had an executive job. He also had a supporting wife, who not only encouraged him to proceed with his adoring hobby for comedy, but also provided briskets to make sure he got good time slots.
However, poor Joel is still missing something.
There’s a hole in him he can’t explain, so it must be Midget’s fault he doesn’t feel complete—We’ve all seen Jerry McGuire, right? So, like most humans, who are feeling worthless and choose to blame others for their lack of self-worth, Joel decides an affair with his secretary, Penny, will fill that void.
Spoiler alert, after leaving his family for Penny, Joel still has a hole and wants Midge back.
Joel is like so many people. He refuses to look inward
to discover what’s really missing. So, until he does that, Joel will continue
to be the guy who is always missing the ‘one who got away’. Don’t believe what
I’m saying? Look at my quick cliff notes of Season 3…
has a box of unclaimed lipstick next to his bed.
pines over missing Midge, even when he meets Mei.
starts dating Mei, but flies off to Vegas to be with his ‘true love’, Midge.
marries Midge again while dating Mei. The next morning, he tells Midge they’re
going to have to get a divorce because he’s got a girlfriend.
home, he and Mei break up, to where he is now free to be with his ‘wife’, his
true love, Midge. But instead, he tells Midge he and the kids can’t come to
Miami for the weekend. Then, Joel proceeds to walk downstairs into the
underground casino and give an awkward confession on how much he cares about Mei.
Yes, just like Susie said to Joel in Season 3, Joel will
always love Midge and will want to make sure she is taken care of. That is
undoubtedly true. He wants to make sure she and his kids don’t struggle in
life. But by the end of the season, Joel is practically cheating on both Midge
and Mei, if we’re getting technical.
Moral: It’s not you; it’s Joel.
If I had a PhD, I could totally get away with blaming
his behavior on something that happened to him as a child. I could hold
accountable Joel’s mother, Shirley, and her erratic behavior or negligent trust
issues, but since I’m not, I’ll just leave diagnosis to the professionals.
Here’s what we do know, Midge is Joel’s forever ‘one that got away’, but until
he can love himself, he has no business trying to be in a committed
Next, we will take a look at Lenny Bruce…
The sexual tension is high when it comes to Midge and that man. We’ve all been there. That’s why we all love Lenny so much. A sexy bad-boy type that draws you in and can make chemical reactions happen within your body. What’s completely unique and unusual about this type of guy is the fact that they can look unkept, un-showered and underachieving and still have this magnetic pull on you, …and half the population.
1. They have the talent to be abrasive, without being too cold.
2. They have enough sense to make you feel wanted for the night, but don’t get any other ideas, please.
3. They have perfected ‘love’em and leave’.
But every once in a blue moon… these primal creatures of habit, fall in love. Hence, Lenny Bruce appears to have fallen head over heels for our dear, Midge. And why shouldn’t he? She bailed him out of jail. She held his hand, twice, when he was filming those TV shows. Midge makes Lenny a better person. But I ask this question… what does Lenny do for Midge?
After seeing the responses trend on Twitter for Midge and Lenny to become the ‘it’ couple, I realized, so many hopeless romantics still believe they can be ‘the one to change him’. Or in this case, Midge can change Lenny.
Spoiler Alert: She can’t change him.
Only Lenny can change himself. Lenny is an inspiration to Midge in the sense of comedy. But here’s the hard truth… That’s probably it. What else can Lenny offer Midge but a good time and heartbreak? I may be speculating, but Lenny, also like Joel, is missing self-worth. He drinks like a fish, enjoys getting arrested and has no intentions of the white picket fence lifestyle. Plus, he hasn’t given Midge any other reasons to question that.
The moral: Lenny is a great guy; people like this usually are.
But it’s important for Midge to know herself. She likes expensive things and needs to be kept in a certain lifestyle. Expecting Lenny to be willing and able to keep up with her and her expectations is probably unfair of her. Lenny’s a one-of-a-kind, friend. He’s the type of guy that you will love completely from a distance, and perhaps, in a parallel universe, you could have possibly been together.
But if you look at it face value, it’s probably better to love from afar than to hate up close. Opposites do attract, but too opposite can cause division. I love Lenny. I know a handful of Lenny’s. But I will love them from where I stand because I know myself and know, maybe from experience, that I’m not the one who’s going to be able to change them.
And finally, Benjamin…
Every mother’s favorite man for their daughter to be with. But like most daughters, Midge doesn’t want him. Why? He’s good-looking, has no money issues and has a really great job. Well, this is where I suggest Midge needs to take a look at herself—Not because Benjamin looks good on paper, or because her parents liked him, but because she did.
And let’s not forget, Benjamin supported Midge with her career. He believes she’s amazing at what she does. He thinks she’s the funniest woman on earth. Besides Susie, Benjamin was one of her biggest fans. He didn’t mind being material for her comedy. But instead of talking to him about her worries of future resentment, Midge leaves him without the courtesy of a face to face conversation—Bad job, Midge.
As humans, things that are good for us, scare the living crap out of us. People are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. What if you found out, there is no shoe?
Spoiler alert: You’ve been worried about things, this whole time, and there was never a shoe that could possibly drop to begin with.
Yes, we all deserve better than what we’ve been aiming for when it comes to matters of the heart. Whether you’ve been married to your partner for decades or you’re still swiping to find your soulmate, this pertains to all of us. Like Benjamin, we deserve that person who will have the conversations with us, instead of predicting they already know how the conversation will go. We also deserve to be thatperson for someone else, as well—Some of us forget to look in the mirror sometimes when picking out other’s faults.
The lifelong question of ‘Does life imitate art or does art imitate life’
This question swirls in everyone’s mind, from time to time. But these hidden, or not so hidden, love-life issues showcased in the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel hit very close to the real factors that cause an increased number of divorces today. It’s not about her own personal women’s movement, or the climb to success and having to choose one thing or another… It’s about knowing who you are, having self-worth, having self-love, giving love, receiving love and communication.
Sure. It’s all very hard to do at first. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. And there would be no one with these impossible love-life issues. The only thing we can do as humans is keep trying to better ourselvesevery day. Practice makes perfect. So, why not? Go buy a hat or invest in some drop-less shoes. But while you’re doing that, take a look inside yourself and see what needs your attention. You can certainly do that while you wait for the next season of Mrs. Maisel.
Nobody ever said that finding love was easy, especially in the hectic and fast-paced world of the 21st century where our personal relationships seem to come second to our relationships with our electronic devices. If you’ve been in the dating game for a while now but find that the path to love and happiness is rockier than ever, don’t worry… it’s not you. The world of dating is way more complicated than it used to be since the digital age has transformed the whole concept of looking for love and romance.
If you find that your dating sucks, here are 6 reasons which may be responsible. Only by identifying the reasons why can you start to make the changes that will lead to a more positive future…
You haven’t spent enough time single
There is a lot of pressure to find that special someone in our lives. But while that pressure can be keenly felt (especially when all your friends and relatives start settling down) it’s important to enjoy being single. Take the time to think about what you’re really looking for in a partner. Otherwise, you could find yourself propelling yourself from one bad relationship to another in the hopes of finding Mr. or Ms. Right.
You’re choosing people with whom there’s no common ground
Variety is the spice of life. But while it can be exciting getting to know someone with different experiences, attitudes and values to you, with no common ground between you there’s no foundation to build on. Whether you’re someone of Arabic descent looking on an Arab dating site, or searching through niche dating sites like this dating site for self-confessed geeks, it’s important to look for someone with at least some common interests and values.
Attraction is important… but it isn’t everything
Someone can be super hot and make your heart skip a beat every time you see them. But while attraction is important, it can fade over time. Make sure the person behind that initial spark is worth your time. Attraction can mute a person’s shortcomings and make you see things in them that aren’t there.
Never forget that you have value. Even if you’ve recently separated from an ex, been single for a while or are struggling with low self-esteem, it’s better to be single than settle. If you hitch your wagon to someone who doesn’t really make you happy this is just a recipe for frustration and resentment.
Your expectations are unrealistic
On the other hand, you can go too far, and reduce human beings to a checklist of desirable attributes… and that doesn’t do either of you any favours. By all means aim high but be realistic in your quest for romance.
You’re over-reliant on apps
Finally, while apps can be useful for time-poor singles looking for love, they aren’t always the perfect platform on which to get to know someone. It’s easy for people to misrepresent themselves on dating apps, and this can lead to all sorts of unpleasant revelations. By all means use them, but don’t use them as an excuse for getting out and meeting people in the real world.
Love is a beautiful thing, and it comes in many forms. It can lead people in many directions, both good and bad. It can help restore us, and sometimes, it can be a challenge. That being said, following your heart and involving yourself in romantic love can be more than worth it if this is something you hope to do.
Staying realistic about romantic love can help you overcome your limitations, and may even improve you as a person. Many think that being aware and realistic about love is simply being pessimistic, but of course, pessimism is in no way more virtuous simply because it claims to be. The fact is that without positivity, care, and potential, staying realistic about anything is simply not wholly complete.
But how does this translate to love? And what are the benefits of staying realistic, rather than letting it sweep you away should it come to that? Additionally, how can you stay both humble in the presence of romance, while giving your all and showing the best of yourself? To that, we would offer the following advice:
Perfection Doesn’t Exist
Perfection simply does not exist. Even in the most fairytale union between two people, sooner or later, real life sets in. That being said, perfection is not what you need to be happy. In fact, it can be thoroughly stressful within itself, because you’ll always worry about how you can maintain it, which you can’t. That being said, a healthy relationship can exist, and loving someone deeply is more than possible. Ironically, this comes the moment when you stop expecting everyone to be perfect, because then you can see the actual good in them.
True Love Does Exist
True love does exist. It can often be found when looking in the right places, or getting assistance from a service to help you find those whom you have more than one thing in common with. True love may not be love at first sight, and it may not be love that comes as a result of saving the world with someone like we see in the movies. However, that shouldn’t turn you away from the power of finding and loving someone you appreciate. In fact, the opposite should be true.
You Curate Your Perfection
While perfection in an objective form does not exist, subjective perfection does. You can curate this carefully if you hope to. Simply trying to find someone perfect for you, such as through muslim marriage services or other outlets, can help you avoid wasting time in directions that do not bear fruit. Additionally, you’ll likely find a real sense of power in moving at a pace that’s right for you, not for others, as this in itself can get rid of the time-constraint worries that often plague new budding relationships. As they say, you can’t hurry love. That being said, while you may never have that 100% perfect romance character, you can make your love interest personally perfect for you, and sometimes, that in itself can be ever better.
With this advice, we hope you can stay realistic and optimistic about romantic love.
If you are single, and you are looking to find someone soon, then you are going to need to make sure that you are doing whatever you can to make that happen. If you have been single for a long time and you are becoming impatient, then it is going to be especially important that you do this in the right way. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to meet people, but that does not mean that it is not going to be a challenge to make it work out for you. However, in this article we are going to take a look only at the best prospects of how you can meet someone new in the first place. As long as you try out these possibilities, you should find that you are going to find someone new soon enough.
If you are keen to meet someone, but you are perhaps a little shy, then you might find that phone dating is a good way to go. This can be a nice way to introduce yourself to someone and to meet a few potential suitors, and yet in a way which means that you don’t even need to leave your home. For many people, that is a useful way to get through the initial nerves of meeting someone. You might even think about starting to meet new people this way, and then moving on to other methods, or meeting some of those people in person after the fact. In any case, it’s worth considering.
Clubs & Groups
A good way to find someone who is going to be good for you is to go out and start engaging in hobbies which you like to partake in, especially group ones. If you can find groups and clubs for these, then you should be able to ensure that you are going to meet people who are absolutely like-minded, and that is a sure sign that you will be able to find someone new who is going to be good for you. Such clubs and groups are going to be a great idea, so it is worth looking into this at your earliest convenience. What kind of groups are in your area that you might want to think about joining?
Of course, many of the traditional means of meeting someone are still relevant, which is why you might also want to think about going out to singles bars and trying to meet someone that way. These can be nerve-wracking places for many people, but in many ways putting yourself out there in those scary situations is going to mean that you are doing a lot for your confidence anyway. If you think you are not capable of this, that might mean that it is going to be the kind of thing that you should actually be doing. And who knows: you might even meet the person of your dreams in the process, and really hit it off with them.
When it comes to relationships, many different people have many different opinions and beliefs. Some believe you should always kiss on the first date provided you like someone, while others feel that this is a forced standard that should in no way be expected. Different genders, different personalities and different age groups all react to the dating scene differently. For example, consider the stark difference between a nineteen year old boy heading on a date and a sixty year old man wishing to find another person to settle down with in retirement, perhaps after losing a loved one. It’s not hard to think how both relationships might turn out differently.
Keeping your relationship healthy, especially in the early days, is not always something that is up for debate. There are better ideas and there are worse ones. For example, expecting your partner to wait on you hand and foot simply because you are now intimate is not a good idea, nor is the idea that you can treat them with less respect because of this.
Consider our advice for helping you make the best of your relationship. You’ll be surprised just how effective it can be:
Understand It’s A Work-In-Progress
A relationship is never ‘complete’ much in the same way that a bonfire is never ‘complete’. However, it can run cold and snuff out when the fuel isn’t there for it to continue. Understanding that your relationship is much like a bonfire is an incredibly important metaphor to consider, and this can make the most difference over time.
Consider the start of a relationship. The first spark comes from the ember, and this causes the fire to burn. Perhaps it starts within a wooden house doused in petrol (attraction) and so the fire starts and you get on, well, like a house alight. The fire is raging, tearing through rooms, it’s so intense it makes you dizzy and also completely consumes you. Then, as this fades over time, the fire starts to die down but still burns with intensity. It has its fuel source, and it cannot spread anymore. This is until you find additional fuel for it.
In a relationship, you need to ensure that fire never goes out. You need to keep using fuel. From date nights to speaking deeply with one another to doing things to strengthen your friendship (a much more stable fire than romantic love could ever be), you begin to keep your relationship perfectly flamed. However, there’s a catch:
Both Need To Fuel It
Here’s the kicker. When finding fuel for our metaphor of a fire, there are two storage areas for you to place said energy to burn. One cannot place that energy in the vessel of the other. It needs to be mutual, and balanced. Otherwise, the fire will be lopsided, and will start to go out.
Both need to keep the fire cared for. This means that if you feel that you do all the work in your relationship, you should speak about it to your partner. If you feel guilty because you know you haven’t been noticing them as much as you should, tell them, and make the effort. Too many people view their relationship as something that simply exists like a force of nature, something as immutable as the color of their eyes or their height. But it’s not. You created this within the course of your lifetime. It can easily be undone. So, if you think it’s worth saving and keeping care of, you need to put the effort in. Understanding this can be one of the best means of helping any relationship stay strong.
We would recommend being co-operative, sharing hobbies and also your own, being trusting and giving them their own space, but also protective, ensuring that they are doing well. Keeping any relationship healthy is much more than a simple fix. It is a sustained effort with a past, present and future, and it lives within you both. Understand this, and you’ll have an access of clarity.
Strengthen Your Friendship
Before, we alluded to the fact that friendship is a much more stable fire than romantic love. That is true, but let us explain why. Friendship is a relationship where we do not expect anything from the other, we only wish to help them succeed. When this is returned both ways, it can be extremely nourishing. Spending time hanging out with someone can often seem like no big deal, but you are quite literally investing the most precious resource you will ever have with them, time, and so that is the ultimate compliment.
Strengthening your friendship matters, and it helps you feel much more embodied within any relationship. Romantic love is wonderful, and it can be life-affirming in many ways. But unsustained by friendship, it is like trying to ride a horse that has not been tamed. You see it all the time, embodied in toxic relationships your friends might have, where they speak to on another like dirt and they seem to accept this is the natural state of things.
But this will not be you. Strengthen your friendship by doing things for one another without anything in the way of expectation in return. Watch how it will blossom, provided you are reciprocated.
Learn The Art Of Communication
Without communication, you’re in trouble. You absolutely need to learn how to do this. If you cannot speak to one another, it might be too late. Learning the art of communication is something worth caring about. While looking up excellent guides to worrying questions such as ‘is he cheating?’ can often be a helpful tool to assess the signs and symptoms of infidelity, without talking about this topic carefully and being forthright about things, you will never have the answers that you seek. It’s in this way that relationships blossom and continually better themselves as the years pass on.
With this advice, you’re certain to keep your relationship healthy in the best manner possible.
It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.
Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:
They’re Your Best Friend
Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.
You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way
It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.
You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells
Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.
With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.
The dating game is hard. It doesn’t matter how smart, beautiful, or funny you are, it can be difficult to find that special someone. Far too many people rely on chance and wait around for their dream guy or girl to come to them. The trouble is, this is unlikely to happen, especially when the sort of person you want in your life is just as busy as you probably are. If you’re going to meet Miss or Mr Right, then you need to work at it. With that in mind, here are five ways to find a date.
1. Swipe Right On Apps
Dating apps can definitely be frustrating at times, but there is no option quite so simple. All you need to do is upload a few pictures, write a little about yourself, and then start swiping. Although people often tell the horror stories of online dating, there have been many successes too. As long as you stay safe and keep your wits about you, there’s no reason why it should go wrong.
2. Chat Over The Phone
While dating apps are convenient, some people prefer to talk over the phone than through messages. This is where freechatLines could come in. Whether you want to meet your soulmate or just talk to someone new, a chat line would allow you to do that. It’s fun, a great way to break the ice, and, because you’re talking over the phone, completely safe and private too.
3. Attend A Singles Event
Although it can definitely feel like it at times, you’re not the only one in your local area looking for a date. There are sure to be hundreds of other single people nearby. This is why singles events are so popular. These gatherings can come in many different shapes and sizes but are all full of people just like you. You could also try signing up for a class or social group of some kind.
4. Volunteer For A Charity
Volunteering is a great way to put yourself out there and meet new people. It’s also a particularly smart dating strategy for those looking to find someone compassionate and caring. Plus, you get to do some good for a cause close to your heart. There are many places you could volunteer, from animals shelters to beach cleanups. You just need to find a cause that you care about.
You may not know anyone that you want to date, but that doesn’t mean that your friends don’t. By letting your loved ones know that you’re looking for someone special, you give them a chance to find someone for you. Couples who meet through mutual friends benefit from having the same social group. Because of this, you should allow your loved ones to try to set you up.
Although the perfect person could find you by chance, this is unlikely to happen. If you want to meet your dream guy or girl, then take the advice above on board and start looking for them.
Since it seems to be all the topic on most social media platforms, I have been asked to reflect upon the topic of dating. The Do’s and Don’ts of today. For those not necessarily understanding today’s dating techniques it is a tough platform to tackle.
Over the years so much has changed and now deemed as ‘acceptable’ nature or so-called behavior. What was once known as dating has now become almost a mythical word that has lost meaning, just as ‘courting’ had in the 70’s. Nowadays, it’s almost as if social media decides your fate.
What happened to sending flowers to an address that doesn’t start with www.. or when phone conversations ended because one person fell asleep talking and you stayed on the line just to listen to them breath, because for that moment it was enough? What happened to working disagreements out and fixing problems? Not just acting like, hey I’ll just ignore this and let it build–not say anything and allow it to eventually explode? When did it become acceptable, bouncing from person to person and just leaving people in pieces because communication and motives were never clear, only expectations?
Y’all, love hurts.
I agree, yet expectations hurt even more when led by blinded by love. One of the worst feelings in life is falling in love alone. Both sexes mastered this little game it seems. Because dating has detoured so much, it’s like motives have selfishly changed nowadays. What was once a considered a rebound is, sadly, very popular now and is almost accepted as a relationship status. ‘First base’ and ‘second base’, once took time to access, is now almost expected on a first date by many, when before couples had butterflies even thinking about advancing. It’s so much more when someone can undress your mind.
Here’s a tip, gentlemen undress a womans mind and the body will follow. When advancing too quickly, you cannot touch the passion entrapped within a womans mind. Dont ask her about her imagination, become her imagination. If you feel the need to ask her something, ask her about her passions, her fears, her hopes and dreams. Ask her what she wants in life and what makes her laugh and cry. Take time to discover her favorite color and ask why. Listen to the stories that make her, her.
Those stories created the art that is her. Listen, and in front of your very own eyes, she will allow you the view the creativity through the events and happenings that has helped shape this beautiful woman. You can then see past the visible beauty, and witness her depth, pain, pleasure, vulnerability and the love in which she possesses in her beautiful soul. This my friend is a gift. A gift that you can give each other without a price tag.
Take it back to the days when snap chat and Instagram weren’t dating sites and cheating portals… When ten likes didnt change your mind about a person… When advertising to your following what you want isn’t even close to what you actually desire. Take it back to when catfishing meant there was going to be a good dinner.
All this back and forth mental-game playing, and men this… and women that… blah… blah… blah… We all need to step back and think. We have all been that broken heart, and we all have exes and problems. But remember folks, before social media was in relationships, communication between two people existed. Studies have shone, relationships worked out alot longer just a short decade ago. I’m not bashing social media. Guys and Gals remember, social media doesn’t ruin relationships, acting single or disrespectful towards your partner on social media in public/private chat rooms, does!
If you are searching for a lady, then be a gentleman. Ladies, if you want a gentleman, then simply be a lady. Chivalry is not dead, it’s just waiting to be, as they say today, digitally remastered by those who value its lost meaning.
We add all these new words to the dictionary every year that make no sense. Yet these don’t change… Love, commitment, honesty, trust, chivalry, dating, communication, integrity, humanity, respect, dedication, desire, passion, and the most evil one of all, lust. One must remember, in life, the most beautiful things are seen with the eyes closed. With eyes closed, you are led by trust. With eyes open, you’re often blinded by lust. Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do. Be open about what you want from the beginning. When it’s out on the table then it’s so much easier to understand–no guessing games, no one being led on, and no surprises.
Like the most famous misquote of Eldridge Cleaver, ‘If you’re not the solution, you are part of the problem.’ It’s simple, bring back LOVE.
Dating in the millennial world is like strolling through the jungle ofravenous beasts. As soon as you fire up your dating app, trolls and predatorsflock to your profile, hell-bent on tearing your confidence into pieces. Terrifying, right? While the situation is not necessarily as drastic as presented (though it truly happens to numerous unwitting love-seekers), finding genuine love in the millennial world is turning into an exception. Getting tothe root cause of why “making it work” has become a miracle is not particularlyhard. Rendering the process easier is a significantly harder riddle to solve.
Commitment issues are rampant
The problem mostly lies in the fact that millennial generation has an overwhelming phobia of commitment. This widespread phenomenon has emerged exactly due to the dating app factor.Why would you bother when there are plenty more “swipes” in the sea? In themillennial mind, people have turned into commodities. The first step to solving this, should you come across someone that you truly like, is to actively seekout connections with the person through common interests.
This way, you will become more than a cardboard cutout or a set of brief traits in the eyes of the potential date, much more quickly. However, the second step is quite harder and it is also related to the fear of commitment. This obstacle comes in the signature millennial fear of opening up, coupled with the unwillingness to repeatedly invest energy into partners.
The main tool is also a problem
With the omnipresent power of the internet, the metaphysical cloud that covers the globe and simmers with endless data, long distance relationships have become more common place. While previous generation used the net as a tool in this regard, matters have become a bit trickier for millennials.
In the world of diminished attention spans and constant pursue for immediate gratification, the survival of long distance relationships requires both parties to exercise in human patience and constant readiness to compromise. The additional work might be exhaustive, but the benefits of pulling through are immeasurable.
The afore mentioned unwillingness to invest energy in relationships is not a mild problem. Millennials learn, since early age, to be focused solely on themselves and their own needs. In addition, the digital realm is tailored exactly to cater to the individual’s perception of oneself as the “center of the world”. In spite of this, you can easily spot a glaring contradiction within such state of things – since the choices at our disposal are in numerable, it becomes easy to feel as if we do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Generations ago, people used to belong to diffuse and organic social microcosms which were easier to navigate. An average millennial suffers the “tyranny of freedom” but manages to come on top as long ascertain basic tenets are followed.
Avoid distractions and have a clear goal
In order to find the right partner, you need to narrow down your wants into a reasonable goal. As soon as you enter the world of dating (both online and offline) things can get really distracting really fast so it helps to have a clear goal when it comes to the type of person you’d love to “find”. Just don’t fall into a trap of perceiving people as conquests as you will end up perpetuating previous mistakes. Second, you need to communicate this goal clearly, which might trim down the number of people that are willing to date you drastically, but at least you will pique the interest of those that want a similar arrangement. Finally, you need to take action and have hope no matter what – a few failed dates should not discourage you.
We live in the unprecedented times. The world is changing faster than we can process it and so does the way we engage with people around us. In this digital jungle of social media and dating apps, dating has turned into a curious multi-dimensional maneuver that dances frantically between numerous versions of your identity. Only one of these versions is completely genuine;all others are hyper-stylized. Previous generations did not have to wrestle with social hierarchies that include multiple levels of reality, all in order to fulfill the needs that are so primordial and instinctive. Both the problem and the solution to finding true love in the millennial world lie in the heartof this paradox. Thankfully, as infinitely quotable Dr. John Hammond says in“Jurassic Park”, “Life always finds a way.”