Dating Tips For Shy People

Dating Tips For Shy People

Have you always been a shy person? Have people always pointed this out about you? A lot of people find shyness to be an endearing quality, but when it comes to dating, it can be a serious obstacle. For shy people, talking to someone new can be a real challenge. If you’re shy and trying to date, it can feel impossible to do. However, shyness doesn’t always have to make dating really uncomfortable. Try not to think about shyness as just the way you are, but as something that you can work on to lessen over time. 

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It can be very helpful to keep an eye on the harmful aspects of shyness that can make dating even more of a challenge, such as avoiding meeting new people and avoiding people who might be interested in you. 

There is a link between shyness and avoidance when it comes to dating, which could cause you a problem. If you’re someone who is naturally shy, dating can feel very scary for a number of different reasons. Dating is a one-on-one activity that can leave you feeling under pressure to carry on a conversation. It often involves talking about personal topics, which can be intimidating for very shy people. You might also feel worried that your date is forming a bad opinion of you and doesn’t like you, or you might be afraid that you’re bad at making conversation and a bad, boring date. All of these reasons can make dating a scary idea for someone who is shy. 

In the short term, choosing to avoid dating altogether might feel like a big relief, but in the long term, continuing to avoid dating can lead to you having an unhappy love life, leaving you feeling lonely and with low self-esteem. It’s important to find ways to challenge yourself, whether you try online dating or singles events to meet new people and stop avoiding the chance of going on a date. 

Dating Tips for Shy People

Dating when you’re shy can be a challenge, but these tips can make it feel easier and less frightening. 

  • Write out the pros and cons of asking someone out on a date. Which of your lists wins? Do items on one list carry more weight than the other? 
  • Practice being more confident when asking someone out by standing up tall, smiling, and speaking clearly. These are all nonverbal signs that make you seem confident. You might find that practicing these steps can actually make you feel more confident. 
  • Handle rejection with care. If you get turned down for a date, think carefully about why this might be. You might assume they said no because there is something wrong with you, but try not to jump to this conclusion, and don’t let rejection keep you from trying again. 
  • Choose a date activity ahead of time. For someone who is shy, making conversation over dinner might be the hardest thing to do on a date, especially if the dishes are taking a long time to be served. Instead, try to plan an activity that is more engrossing for a date. This could be something like wine tasting, horse riding, or attending a cooking class together. These activities, and others like it, will let you focus your attention on the activity you’re doing while still giving you some time for conversation. If you’re stuck for something to say, you can talk about what you’re doing.

Tips for When You’re On a Date

  • Put your focus on the other person. Shyness and discomfort can increase when you’re focusing on yourselves, your own thoughts, insecurities and appearance. Shifting your focus to your date and the conversation you’re having can help you to feel more present and engaged. 
  • Don’t be a mind reader. Do you really know what the other person is thinking about you or are you just guessing and assuming the worst? Mindreading is often inaccurate and upsetting. 
  • Practice an easy manner with a sense of humour. Dating while feeling shy can feel demanding and scary. Try to break the tension by smiling, walking in a leisurely way, sitting in a comfortable way, and making a few jokes. Just be careful not to overdo the jokes. 

These tips can help you get a date and enjoy it. However, keep in mind that there is a difference between ordinary shyness and social anxiety. If you’re struggling with the latter, professional help may be a better option than pushing yourself to date. 

Tia, and is trying to keep you looking good and
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