Tag Archives: kids and divorce

When Outside Help Is Necessary In A Relationship

When Outside Help Is Necessary In A Relationship

Image – CCO Licence

In many cases, a lot of relationships can become strange experiences which are separate from the rest of the world. You can easily end up living in a kind of bubble together, and – while that can be nice – it can also be quite dangerous or damaging. Before you know it, you are too codependent, and you find that there is no room to breathe. There is a balance to be found here, and it is symbolized in the fact that such relationships will generally then need to seek out some outside help for their relationship to work as well as possible. In this article, we will look at some of the occasions when that outside help is going to be helpful in a relationship, and might be worth considering.

For Therapy

Sometimes, you will need therapy. That could be because something is going wrong, or one of you is unhappy without knowing why, or it might be that something huge has happened which has affected you both and therefore the relationship itself. If you feel that therapy is needed, then you should allow each other the space to engage with that – and if it is couples’ therapy you are looking for, then it is especially important to do so, and particularly to find a therapist that you can both be happy with. When therapy is needed in a relationship, it is important to seek it out, and to allow some time for things to settle as you do so. It could be the best thing you ever did as a couple.

After Separation

Even once you have separated from a person, there can often be the need for some outside assistance to make things a little easier. That will generally be because there is some kind of disagreement surrounding the terms of the separation, and that can be something that really gets in the way. If you have children, for instance, you might need to seek out an experienced family lawyer to help you work through your visitation and so on, so that is something to be aware of. Even after separation this kind of outside help can be really helpful, and in fact most couples need that more at this time than at any other time while they were together.

When Space Is Needed

Sometimes, people in a relationship just need space from each other. The truth is that this is a perfectly ordinary and healthy thing to need, and it is important to make sure that you can allow it for each other. But if you are struggling to do that, you might want to seek out the help of a good friend, even if it is a mutual friend, who can likely offer some advice and assistance. They might even be able to help by offering a place to stay for a while, should that be necessary. As you can see, there are many ways in which such a person might help, should this become important.

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The Process Involved When Hiring An Au Pair

The Process Involved When Hiring An Au Pair

In the modern day, there are lots of different childcare options available. One option that is becoming more and more popular is an au pair placement. People are choosing to go down this route because it provides them with the most amounts of help – both childcare and house duties. Furthermore, it is a lot cheaper than paying for a nanny or childminder. And finally, a lot of parents like it because it makes it easier for their children. They get used to the individual and do not have to keep going through the process of being dropped off at someone else’s house and alike. It brings them stability.

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If you are considering hiring an au pair for your children, then you need to be aware of the process involved. This is slightly different to normal employment and so it is best to have an idea of what to expect before you embark on the process. First thing is first; you will need to find a credible au pair agency. Make sure you have a look on the internet. Assess the company’s worth. Do they have experience? Are they credible? Do they seem helpful?  Do they vet the au pairs beforehand? If you are comfortable with the agency then your chance of having a successful au pair placement increases dramatically.


You will then speak to the agency about your requirements. You will tell them about your family; the number of children you have, the hours you spend at work, and what you are looking for from an au pair. You may want to tell them about any specific recruitments or your reasons for hiring an au pair. Maybe you have recently had to hire a divorce attorney and you are in the busy of a messy separation so you need help with childcare? Perhaps you’re just too busy with your work life? A good agency will take the time to get to know you because they will want to match you to an au pair who they think you will like and will feel comfortable in your home. They will use their knowledge about you and their knowledge about the au pair to make the perfect match.


Once the agency has decided on an au pair they think would be best for you, you then have the option to speak to the person. The agency will usually set up a phone call or a Skype chat with the person. After all, a lot of the au pairs will still currently be based abroad and so this is the best way to initiate contact. If you are happy then you will draw up what is known as a letter of agreement or contract. In this, you will basically state what you expect of the au pair and they will accept it. This is good because it sets the standards and ensures that you and the au pair are on the same page.


Once you have done this you are ready to begin the au pair placement! Make sure you take the effort to make the au pair feel welcome. You need to remember that this is going to be a difficult transition for her too. And don’t forget to give the au pair time off. She cannot be expected to work every hour under the sun.


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You Have To Think About The Kids

You Have To Think About The Kids

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Divorce is such a horrible thing, but it happens. You never planned for it, but it happens. For whatever reason, it has happened. It comes with stresses, worries, hurt, love, anxieties and pain. But the hardest thing about divorcing the person you once loved is protecting your children. They are your every thought, that piece of you that you will do anything to protect. Of course, it is worth noting that a lot of children cope with divorce fantastically, and come out unharmed and unaffected.

But not all of them, which is why you will need to do everything you can to ensure they are as protected from the effects of your divorce as best as you possibly can. That is where we come in. We have gathered as much market research as possible, including advice from experts and divorcees, to ensure that your children remain the priority through this incredibly tough time.

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Set The Priority Straight

Your marriage may have broken down, but you still share your children, and that you always will. You are both going to be responsible for raising them to be incredible adults. As such, you need to reaffirm with the other parent that your children’s emotional health is at the very top of the priority list. Whatever happens, you will protect them from harm and hurt. That is your duty as responsible parents, and that chat needs to happen from the outset.

No Fighting

Emotions will be high, and often uncontrollable. They will flare at times and you will get under each other’s skin. But try and control your emotions as much as possible, because the more control you have the easier it will be to remain calm and not fight. This is going to be in your child’s best interests. To help you, we suggest you hire an attorney who is experienced in this area of law, such as Barton Wood. It is also wise to seek mediation, and perhaps go to counseling together. The sooner you can tolerate each other, the better it will be for your child.

Be Role Models

You are both role models for your child. You are the biggest influences on their lives. You will want to show them how to be mature, how to act when the going gets tough, how to approach undesirable situations and how to show strength. Remember, showing strength doesn’t have to be pushing. It can be in accepting the other person’s opinion too.

Be Involved

A parent needs both parents. They deserve it too. So no matter how much you may despise each other, you cannot let your child suffer because of your pride. By both having an involvement you drastically reduce the chances that your child will grow up with emotional health problems. There is no point telling yourself that you would make a great single parent because it is irrelevant. What you should be telling yourself is that your child needs both parents in their life. It takes bravery to do that, but being a good parent is all about being brave.

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Divorced? Here’s What You Need To Do Now

Divorced? Here’s What You Need To Do Now

Making the decision to get a divorce is never an easy one, particularly if there are children involved. You might have been trying to make it work for months or even years but to no avail. If both you and your partner are severely unhappy in your marriage, a divorce can be the best solution for everyone. But once you’ve come to an agreement, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Even though it’s the right thing to do, it can still be an emotional and overwhelming experience. So if you’ve just decided to get divorced and are unsure what to do now, follow these simple steps.

brothers-457234_960_720Image via Pixabay

Talk about child custody

This is likely to be the most difficult conversation you will ever have. But it’s also the most important. You and your partner need to decide how you intend to continue providing care, time and support for your children. Consider how you can equally spend time with them, particularly over holidays, birthdays and weekends. Be realistic and always focus on your kid’s best interests.

In addition to this, you should also discuss how you want to break the news of your divorce to your children. Talking about this beforehand gives you time to prepare for their reactions. If you find it difficult to come to an agreement, get in touch with Gillespie, Shields, Durrant & Goldfarb or another family law firm.

Check your finances

Running a house will be different now you only have one source of income. You might have to survive on less and stretch your money further each week. The cost of getting a divorce can also be notoriously expensive. So one of the most important things you need to do is check your finances. Visit your bank and talk to your financial advisor about your current situation. They may be able to suggest ways in which you can save more money each month. This is also the perfect opportunity for you to set up a new bank account. If you think you might struggle, you should also start looking for additional employment. Download LinkedIn and other free job search apps to get started.

rock-island-123406_960_720Image via Pixabay

Decide where you will live

Another vital discussion you need to have with your partner is where you will both live. One of you might want to stay in the same property whereas the other might want to move out. Or perhaps both of you want to move out and sell your old home. Remember to consider your kids before making a final decision. If you do decide to sell, work out a fair way to divide the money equally. This is an agreement you should have witnessed by an attorney, as your property is likely to be the most expensive asset you have. This will ensure that when it is sold, no foul play will occur.

By following these simple steps, you increase your chances of having a more honest and amicable divorce. This can benefit not only you but your children as well. If you’re still finding it difficult to come to terms with your divorce, talk to a divorce counselor or your doctor.

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Tips for Not Making Mistakes During Divorce. By Guest Blogger, Marie N.

By Guest Blogger, Marie N.

Tips for Not Making Mistakes During Divorce

 

Photo provided by guest blogger, Marie N.
Photo provided by guest blogger, Marie N.

Going through a divorce can be a real emotional roundhouse, especially when there’s no prenup. It’s difficult to think clearly during this period, so you can easily make some wrong decisions. There’s also a lot of anger involved that can translate into words and deeds, which can make your divorce costlier and lengthier. You can also just as easily forget to do something when filing for a divorce that can later make the whole process very frustrating. Here are a couple of tips that will help you avoid mistakes like these during your divorce.

Don’t Fail to Make Your Kids a Priority

Some parents want peace so badly that they start drifting away from their kids once they start going through a divorce. Keeping the peace is a good thing to do but that does not mean you or your ex-spouse should stay away from your kids. You should both respect each other’s time with the kids and never fight around them. They need stability and both parents in their lives. Still, time spent isn’t the only determining factor, but the quality of that time is. Talk to your former spouse and try to come up with an arrangement that is going to suit both of you as well as the kids.

Don’t Overextend Yourself Financially

Your divorce is going to change the way you live completely. That why you’ll have to make some adjustments and try to adapt. One of the things that is going to change quite a lot are your finances. Two households are obviously more difficult to maintain than one, so some changes will have to be made. Because of this, experts recommend going through your finances before you file for divorce, and try to make a plan for the future. These experts are also there to help their clients who want to file for divorce in California with pre-divorce budgeting and planning process.

Don’t Forget What You Owe

When going through a divorce it’s also important to know exactly how much you owe. Promising “to have and to hold” can actually bounce back and bite you. There are some states in the USA where you’ll be responsible for half of your spouse’s debt, even in the case the debt isn’t in your name. Experts in those states advise their clients to get a full credit report so there are no surprises. In other states, you won’t be held responsible for such a debt but you’ll still be liable for any loans or jointly held credit cards. So, depending of the state you live in, you’ll be held responsible for different things.

Don’t Hold onto Properties

Photo provided by guest blogger, Marie N.
Photo provided by guest blogger, Marie N.

Depending on how many properties you and your spouse have, you’ll have to divide them properly once the divorce starts. It’s important to have the whole family in mind and try to come up with a solution that suits everybody the best. If you manage to do so, you can file for an uncontested divorce and make the whole situation easier for everyone. Even in that case you should get all the necessary help. For example if you live in Portland, there are experts who can advise you if you want to file for an uncontested divorce in Oregon. If you end up with a family house, think hard about keeping it because of the maintenance and taxes.

Divorces can be really devastating but if you plan carefully and avoid some common mistakes, you can save yourself a lot of trouble. Once the divorce is through, you can finally focus on moving on with your life.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
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