Tag Archives: Honesty Is The Best Policy

3 Tips for Avoiding Pain and Heartache in Your Romantic Life

3 Tips for Avoiding Pain and Heartache in Your Romantic Life

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There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.

Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.

There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.

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A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.

It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.

It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.

Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.

Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.

Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything

They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.

If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.

Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.

Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act

We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.

In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.

But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.

Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.


Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Why Asking For Help Isn’t A Bad Thing

Why Asking For Help Isn’t A Bad Thing

 

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It’s a big step, asking for help. There are so many of us who never ask for it for fear of being perceived as “weak,” and you would think that the message has been communicated for so long that asking for help or advice is okay now. And it always was, but why is it such an issue for a lot of us? We all end up being consumed with worry over the tiniest thing sometimes, but the big issues we tend to brush over and adopt the stiff upper lip method of carrying on. What are the reasons we tend to avoid asking for help when we are in completely dire situations?

Well, the main thing is that, apart from the perception of being weak, it’s actually the fact that you feel that you are letting yourself down in some way. Even if you know you have a problem, such as an addiction, the fact that you are admitting there is something wrong is communicating the realization that you are weak; and it’s official now that it’s out there. Pride, ego, or sheer self-centeredness are the things that stop us from asking for help. And we can very easily fear asking for help, but unfortunately, it’s something that we are unable to do by ourselves. But what does asking for help accomplish, and what can you do to make it an easier transition to recovery?

Courage

While we all perceive asking for help as a sheer and utter weakness, it’s actually the opposite. It’s your pride and inability to ask for help that makes you weak, and in standing alone to deal with your problems, you might think that it’s easier for you. But if you looked at the impact it has on people you love, that is usually the reason a lot of addicts reach out for help. This is the biggest step in recovering, but it’s also the hardest, and you are showing a lot of courage by asking for help.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

This is the key when asking for help. If you haven’t been honest up to this point, that when you do finally ask for the help you realize you need, it’s time to come clean. Deception, no matter how big or small, doesn’t inspire trust, and it’s the time for a clean slate. The other side of the honesty coin is acceptance. It’s never easy to sit with your faults and accept that you have been dishonest because if it was so easy to be honest, we’d all do it right away to get the help we need without damaging our pride or ego. But the real fact is that when we face up to everything with an honest outlook, only then can we, and our loved ones, move on.

Do You Think You’re A Burden?

When people ask for help, the concern is that they may have put loved ones through enough. It’s common to feel like you’re dead weight, and you’re just a burden to them and nothing more. The fact is, you’re not. Family members won’t help you because they feel it makes life easier for them, it’s because they care about you! When you ask for help it means you are ready to take on board the advice and support of professionals. Whatever addiction you have, you will always have the support of professionals on hand once you’ve reached out. There are organizations like The Recovery Village that are purpose-built to help you not just “dry out,” but to enable you to build a new life that is healthy and happy, independent of the trappings of addiction. Asking for help is all about reaching into yourself for that notion of strength you didn’t realize you had.

You Shouldn’t Feel Embarrassed

Asking for help, regardless of the situation, leaves us in a vulnerable position, and as a result, we can feel very embarrassed when we finally ask for help. But if you decide to open up to your loved ones after toying with the idea, it’s very likely that they’ve already noticed. So don’t feel nervous. Or if they haven’t noticed, they will still want to help you because they care! We all show that we care in different ways, and if they are showing willing to do everything they can to help, then it’s apparent that they care, and it’s important to not be nervous about approaching the subject. They want you to be well and happy above everything else, so asking for help, as difficult as it may be, will lead you towards the best outcome for you.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram