Tag Archives: relationship issues

How to Find Love Again in Later Life

Contribution from freelance writer Jenny H.

How to Find Love Again in Later Life

classbook-for-falling-in-love05Love does not have to end when you enter your senior years, whether you have been widowed or have elected to stay single. Should you decide to join the dating scene again, here are a couple of tips to make a success out of it.

Change Your Mind Set

While it is true that you are supposed to be an older, wiser and more experienced person, there is nothing in the books to say that you can’t think and behave like a youthful individual. Prepare yourself mentally to embrace the idea of dating and perhaps finding another partner for your remaining years. This means discarding preconceived notions of what your ideal partner (man or woman) should be, to avoid biases during your first meeting. After all, this is just a date and not a wedding.

Prep Your Physical Appearance

However, first impressions do count a lot so it is important to make yourself look attractive, clean, and presentable. When was the last time you had a haircut, indulged in a facial or had your nails done? Give yourself a small makeover and let professionals do your hair and makeup for your first date. It can do wonders for your self-confidence, making it a bit easy to get in the saddle again.

Get a New Wardrobe

qtq80-3t5NRCTake a look at your closet and clear out the items that you do not use anymore. Buy new outfits that complement your personal style. Do not overkill the idea of a makeover by wearing leotards or skinny jeans with high cut boots. If this is not your style, do not do it. It is recommended not to stray too far from your usual trend.

Go Out

Now that you are ready to meet someone, it is time to go out and find a date. You can do this by going to parties, sign up for dance classes, attend wine-tasting tours or game nights with your friends. The key here is to make yourself visible on the social scene. And while you are at it, there is no need to put pressure on yourself to look for a potential date. Just enjoy what you are doing and make new friends.

Another way to meet people your age is through online dating. You do have to make a great profile and keep safety considerations in mind. However, online dating has experienced a substantial boost with 12% of 55-64 year olds using a dating site or app compared to the 6% figure that did so in 2013, according to Pew Research.

Make a Good Impression

qtq80-JBU6PgFinally, you are ready for your first date. This is your one chance to make a lasting impression, so be sure to do it right. Apart from a clean and attractive appearance, be sure to show up on time. Although you might be very nervous, try to relax and be as natural as possible. Find common things you enjoy to discuss and avoid stories of the past. There is plenty of time for that later. Think of a first date as opening a present. You are just taking off the ribbon and maybe unwrapping the paper. The present inside will be revealed in the same way that getting to know your date slowly, through several dates, will tell you whether or not you have found love.

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You’re At A Crossroads: Which Way Should You Go? Tips For Couples Going Through Tough Times

You’re At A Crossroads: Which Way Should You Go? Tips For Couples Going Through Tough Times

It’s normal for couples to hit bumps in the road from time to time. No couple in the world has a perfect relationship. Even people who seem like they’re madly in love might have days when they argue like cat and dog. Sometimes, you come to point when you have to make a decision. If things haven’t been right for a while, or something has happened that has changed the dynamics of the relationship, you have to decide whether to try and find solutions for problems, or go your separate ways. If you’re going through a tough time, these tips may come in handy.

marriage-451596_960_720Image credit https://pixabay.com/en/marriage-connect-holding-hands-451596/

Identify the problems and talk about them

Have you been arguing for a while or do you not spend much time together anymore? Try and work out why things have changed or what has happened to make you feel uncomfortable. If you can identify the problems, it’s much easier to find solutions. Do you need to make an effort to spend more time together? Why not plan a couples massage or at home with some oils and a heat pad for back? Has one of you been neglecting the other or have you fallen down each other’s list of priorities? Have you been seeing somebody else or have you been thinking about what it would be like to be single again? If you’ve got things on your mind, be honest, and talk to your partner. It’s best that they know what’s going through your head.

Make time to chat about how you feel. Don’t just mention something in passing, and then go about your daily business. It’s important to communicate properly. You may find that talking and being frank gives you more clarity. Perhaps, you can work things out or maybe you might decide that there’s no way forward.

Seeking help

Relationship troubles aren’t always caused by problems between two people. Often, issues that affect one person have a knock-on effect. You may find that your partner can’t give their all to you if they’ve lost their job or they’re suffering from an illness, for example. If you’re dealing with external issues, don’t be afraid to seek help. Healing yourself can often have benefits for your relationship.

If you’re having troubles in your relationship, it may also be worth seeing a therapist with expertise in helping couples. If you’re keen to find out more about couple’s therapy, you’ll find pages like https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201203/5-principles-effective-couples-therapy helpful.

Being realistic

Sometimes, in life, it’s beneficial to admit that things aren’t working and to adopt a pragmatic approach. Splitting up may be a horrible prospect, but if you’ve tried everything, it may be the best thing to do. If you’re married, it’s wise to be prepared for difficult times ahead. It’s not as easy as going in different directions and not seeing each other. A divorce has repercussions for both parties, and you should seek expert help from a firm such as https://www.millerbowleslaw.com/. You may not want to think about the practicalities because it makes it seem very real. But the sooner you get your head around the processes and what’s going to happen, the better.

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Relationships are hard work. You have to compromise, and sometimes, you have to make sacrifices. Often, making changes and being open and honest can work. But sometimes, there’s no way forward. If you’re at a crossroads, hopefully, this guide will help you to make a decision.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

You Are The One And Only: How To Know You’ve Met The One

You Are The One And Only: How To Know You’ve Met The One

Relationships are a complex thing, don’t you think? First, there is the whole saga of actually meeting someone and then comes the dating game which can be extremely confusing. But once you go over those initial hurdles you can find yourself in full-on love with somebody and it can be all consuming. Those first few weeks and months of a relationship can be some of the best you’ll ever experience. Getting to know one another, spending every possible moment in each other’s company, but then you start to wonder whether this is it? Is this the one?

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I think if truth be told you just know when you have found your soulmate. But of course, in any scenario, you can always question yourself whether this is the real deal. After all, you want to ensure that you are going to marry the right person and put all your eggs in the one basket. I don’t think anyone sets out for a marriage to fail or end in divorce, do you? So I thought I’d share some telltale signs that you have found the one. Maybe 2017 looks promising for you on the relationship front.

You’re not hoping the relationship will change

Sometimes any relationship you find yourself in can be a good one. But there is always that lingering thought in the back of your mind that if that one thing could change it would be perfect, am I right? It could be an annoying ex, a stressful job, their cat allergies even. It could literally be anything that just bothers you. The thing is if you start wishing that if that one thing could change then this relationship is it, then you are definitely in the wrong relationship. They just don’t work like that. Meeting the one means that everything falls into place, annoying cat allergies, exes and all. They don’t bother you.

You’re good enough

We spend a lot of our time thinking we aren’t good enough in every aspect of our lives. It could be our careers, our home life, and in general. But your relationship is something you should feel yourself in and content that who you are is good enough. If you have that feeling, that then you are on the right track.

You can work things out

Conflict in relationships is going to happen. From bickering to full blown arguments it’s impossible to have a smooth sailing relationship every single day. But the difference to having arguments with that true partner is that you resolve them well. If you can admit your mistakes or forgive, then this relationship is promising. Conflict and compromise go hand in hand.

You have respect for one another

I think respect in relationships is of the utmost importance. Respecting life choices, careers, decisions, everything, should come easy in a lasting relationship because you respect the person and have trust in them and their judgment. Respect should also be reciprocated, so you should feel supported in your life choices and not be made to think anything otherwise.

I hope this has highlighted some of the signs that you are in a lasting relationship.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Dating Tips: When To Turn A First Date Into A Second

Dating Tips: When To Turn A First Date Into A Second

When you’re dating, it can be hard to know when things are going well. There’s not always a lightning bolt, and for many, love at first sight is a concept found only in the movies. So how do you know if it’s worth progressing to a second date? Here are some positive signs to look out for.

Instant attraction

Most of us claim that personality is more important than looks. But that doesn’t mean that you want to be with somebody you don’t find physically attractive. For most of us, there has to be a level of attraction. This is what separates a partner from a friend. If there’s no attraction there, your date is likely to end up in friendship rather than a relationship. For some people, that instant feeling isn’t there. It grows with time. If you really like somebody, but you’re not quite sure if it will develop into anything more than a friendship, give it another go. It’s always worth organizing a second date if the first one showed signs of potential.

Portrait of a beautiful young couple sitting together on couch at home - Indoor
Portrait of a beautiful young couple sitting together on couch at home – Indoor

Image sourced from https://www.flickr.com/photos/93963757@N05/8551939166

Chemistry

Chemistry is a bit of an unknown quantity. It’s hard to put into words the reactions that happen when you meet somebody that you click with. It’s a mixture of physical and psychological responses that are triggered when you meet certain people. Chemistry is not about having a type. You may be surprised at who you develop this connection with. Perhaps it’s something to do with the laws of attraction or it’s a mysterious entity none of us will ever quite understand.

Common ground

Have you ever been on a date where you disagree with everything the other person says, or you come from completely different worlds? Sometimes, opposites attract. But often, stable relationships are built on having things in common and seeing the world in similar ways. If you have common ground, this facilitates conversation. You find that you bounce off each other, and there’s less room for awkward silences.

Intrigue

When you’re on a date, and you’re chatting away, you’ll find that some people fascinate you while others leave you feeling flat. It’s not necessarily that they’re a boring person. They may be incredibly interesting to others. But you often find some people a lot more intriguing than others. If this happens, you’re more likely to want to see them again, and learn more about them.

Laughter

For many of us, being funny is one of the most attractive traits in a potential partner. Laughing makes you feel good. It breaks the ice on a first date, and it can instantly boost your mood. If you spend hours laughing together, and you’ve also got a connection on a physical and intellectual level, the signs are good.

couple-1838940__340Image via https://pixabay.com/en/photos/laugh/

Do you find it impossible to read what other people are thinking or feeling? In today’s world, when dating is very common, it can be tough to decipher what’s going on and work out if there is a potential for a blossoming romance. Hopefully, these tips will enable you to spot the signs of success, and ultimately, find true love.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Devastating Mistakes Made By Newlyweds In Their First Year Of Marriage

Devastating Mistakes Made By Newlyweds In Their First Year Of Marriage

We all know that marriage is a difficult thing to get right. According to the data from the US, about half of all marriages will eventually end in failure. And that’s just the headline statistics. There are millions more marriages held together at the seams by the duty to children and for financial benefit. How many happy marriages are actually out there? Some have estimated that the figure is as low as ten percent.

The reality of marriage is shocking. But a lot of the problems that blight the institution can be traced back to those first few months as a married couple. Couples who make mistakes early on can find it difficult to fix them later. Here we’re going to look at some of the issues that married couples have in their first year and what to do about them.

Making Mistakes When Buying A New Home

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As a couple, you need a joint plan to get yourselves on the housing ladder. Going it alone or having secret saving accounts won’t work. Both of you need to be open and honest about the amount you can earn and the amount you can save after bills.

Once you make the decision to buy, it’s also important that you choose real estate agents with clout. Different agencies have different capacities. Some use data in an intelligent way to find you a home that actually meets your needs. Others take a back seat and let you make a decision that could cost you in the long run. Since you’ll be paying for your home for 25 years or more, it’s essential you make the right decisions as a couple early on.

Giving In To The Pressure To Have A Baby

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Parents, and family in general can pressure you to have a baby early on in your marriage. You can’t leave it until later you’re repeatedly told. The problem for many couples with having a baby early is that they don’t get time to mature together as a couple. Parents need a sort of honeymoon period once they’re married to explore their relationship and get used to married life. Having a child can disrupt that process. What’s more, according to parents, having children is their greatest regret when they look back at their marriages. So it’s of vital importance that parents only have kids at the right time. When it comes to children, it’s worth waiting.

Spending More Than You’re Saving

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Besides kids, finances are the biggest cause of arguments between parents. At the start of a marriage, money is tight. You’ve just blown thousands of dollars on a wedding. And by the time you get off honeymoon, you’ve barely got the money to pay the rent. This is the point at which newlyweds can get into trouble. If something comes up, like a vet bill, many newlyweds find themselves unable to pay for it. This then creates additional stress that can wreak havoc on your relationship. A good rule of thumb, therefore, is to save, save, save. Skimp on the wedding if you have to.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Helpful Tips To Help You Communicate With Your Partner

Helpful Tips To Help You Communicate With Your Partner

When you ask many couples what their secret is to a long and happy relationship, many will tell you that communication is the key. Open and truly honest communication is the main ingredient to a healthy relationship, no matter how long you have been together. By talking regularly, you can both understand you each want. And you can then take the relationship on a path which the both of you are happy with. Do you feel like you and your partner could work on your communication? Here are some tips for helping you do so.

pexels-photo-175731-large-jpegwww.pexels.com

Find The Time

One of the most important things that can help you improve your communication is finding the best time to have your conversations. It is a good idea not to blurt anything out while neither of you have enough time to have a proper discussion. This could easily frustrate your partner and lead to arguments. Instead, simply ask your partner if they have some spare time to chat to you. When you both have plenty of time, you can then talk about the things that are bothering you.

Face-To-Face

It is important that all your important discussions and talks are done face-to-face. Even if you are worried or nervous about raising a certain issue with your partner, you should always try to talk to them directly. Don’t be tempted to do it by a mobile text message or email. Otherwise, your partner might misread your words! Instead, talk to them in person so that you can properly elaborate on your feelings and emotions.

Get Professional Help

If you find that talking to your partner always ends in arguments and tears, you can always get professional help. Think about booking an appointment with a local counselor or therapist for couples therapy. The therapist will invite you both to his or her office. You will then get the chance to work through your problems with them. The therapist will help you to openly discuss your problems and figure out the best way for you and your partner to move forward in your relationship.

Remember The 48-Hour Rule

If your partner does or says something that makes you angry or upset, you should tell them. But you don’t have to do it straight away. Wait for 48 hours. If you are still feeling hurt about the incident after this time, talk to them about it. Waiting this long will help calm you down so that you can talk about things in a civilized way. You won’t have to worry about getting too angry and upset, and flying off the handle! If you aren’t too bothered about what was said or done after 48 hours, then you don’t have to raise it with your partner.

Body Language Counts

It’s not just your words that you need to consider. Body language plays a big part in communication as well. Sit up straight and always give your partner plenty of eye contact. And remember not to use any threatening body language as this could cause an argument.

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feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Worried About Your Husband? Top Ways To Support Him (Without Pushing Him Away!)

Worried About Your Husband? Top Ways To Support Him (Without Pushing Him Away!)

Although we hope that our marriage will be happy ever after, life isn’t like that. Couples face many challenges that can tear them apart. But just like you said in your marriage vows, you will be there for the through sickness and health. Therefore, whether it’s some kind of illness such as addiction or depression, you need to help them through this challenging time. Here are some top ways you can support your husband without pushing him away.

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Speak to him openly about your concerns

The first thing you should do when you are worried about your husband is to speak to him. Sit him down and explain calmly about why you are concerned. There’s no point shouting at him as it will lead him to become defensive and not be honest. He will just push you away and end up being even more secretive. Therefore, deal with the situation calmly and give him examples which caused concern. Make sure he understands you are not having a go at him, but you are worried and want to help. If he sees how much it’s affecting you, he’s more likely to be open with you. Let him speak and don’t respond until he gets everything out that he wants to say. Once you know what’s going on, you can find ways to move forward. Ask him how you can support him and let him know you are there for him.

Seek help for him and explain why

You might be worried about how your husband will react if you contact a doctor or a therapist about the problem. After all, they might be furious that you have got someone else involved in the issue. But for the benefit of your husband’s health, it needs to be done. Talk to him about why you have involved them and how you feel it will benefit them. After all, they need to agree to go to some form of addiction treatment center. Otherwise, they won’t benefit from it, if they are not willing to acknowledge they need help. Therefore, talk to him and help him to accept he needs help if you want to support him through this challenging time.

Voice your worries in a controlled environment

It might not be possible to sit down with him to speak about your concerns in your own home. If he’s currently taking drugs, you might not feel safe to talk to him about it alone. Therefore, you should arrange for a controlled environment where you can voice your worries for your husband. It might be in front of a friend or family member who can support you if necessary. After all, he might listen if it’s a mutual friend. Or if you feel this might put his back up, it might be best to speak with him in front of a professional. You can attend counseling together and then can explain your worries there. He’s more likely to take you seriously and let you support him if you deal with it in a professional environment. And once he seeks help, you can work with the counselor to get your marriage back on track.

Remember to give him compliments and praise when he gets the problem under control. It will spur him on to keep going in the right direction with his recovery!

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Carnivores Can Court Vegetarians.

By, Tia Cristy

Carnivores Can Court Vegetarians.

TipsfromTia.com steak

Is it truly possible for these opposites to last? If you’re anything like me, social outings are surrounded by food. Dating a person that has a pallet that is the other end of the spectrum from your own can be challenging. But, it’s not a deal breaker.

You must first realize there are four different types of vegetarian’s out there.
-Semi-vegetarian: The vegetarian that still gets their steak on once in a while.
– Lacto ovo vegetarian: These types eat dairy and eggs.
-Lacto vegetarian: No eggs for this group, but dairy is still acceptable.
-Vegan: Nothing animal based.

Fresh assorted vegetables in boxes on farmer's market
Fresh assorted vegetables in boxes on farmer’s market

When dating one of these types of eaters the first challenge is agreeing on a place to eat. Checking with a restaurant on their offered menu before making a reservation is significant. Plenty of steakhouses now offer vegetarian dishes.

The next obstacle is the most important for both parties, have reverence for the other’s decision. Don’t belittle your date for his/her choice on eating a soy burger. And vegetarians don’t make comments of your date eating Bambi. Respect the choices that one another make. Choosing to resent your date’s decision on the food they put in their bodies will grow into resentment with other issues, non-related.
I had the pleasure to attend dinner the other night with a food-split couple. The interaction between this husband and wife on the consideration of substance was incredible. There were a few light jokes that were passed back and forth as we discussed the obstacles they face as a couple, as the husband pointed out the cracker plate as her vegetarian main course. She lightly pecked at the sight of the rare prime rib he was eyeing up, “Did they cook that for you or just warm it up?” Chuckles followed their slight digs, but she was sincerely happy for him when the chef kindly gave him two slices of prime rib.

If you have health related concerns about what your date is eating, then decide is it valid? One could argue the worry of a carnivore’s cholesterol, but then on the other side of the coin, a meat eater could counter with the worry of a vegetarian not getting enough iron or B vitamins. The time when health related concerns should take place is when they are presented. Example, if you are allergic to what your partner is eating, you see a drastic weight gain or loss by their existing diet, it’s affecting your relationship in more ways than just your meat/veggie loving principals, or you notice other health concerns like shortness of breath.

The wife in this case, gets ill from ingesting meats. She has on occasion had issues with soups made with meat stock. The husband told me, “It was more challenging in the beginning, but now we go to restaurants where we trust the chefs are aware of all ingredients in their food.” I asked them if it has caused issues in their relationship. The husband laughed and said, “Relationships have challenges, liking meat or not, shouldn’t be one of them.”

So if you find yourself pining over that person who does or doesn’t like steak, but you are not sure it could work or not, according to my dining companions, there’s plenty of hope out there for a wonderful future. Like all relationships, respect, understanding, truth, and kindness seem to still be key.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me!