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Ways to Deal With the Stress of a Child Custody Case

Ways to Deal With the Stress of a Child Custody Case

No one wants to find themselves having to fight a child custody case, but things happen and family units do break down sometimes. That’s just the way it goes; no one envisages their family ending up in that situation, but you just have to make the best of it. Dealing with the stress of a child custody battle and ensuring the outcome is satisfactory from your perspective is obviously very important.

 

So how should you go about handling that situation to the benefit of everyone involved? We’ve got some advice that will stop you from getting too stressed out and help to make the process as smooth and painless as it can be. It doesn’t have to be a bitter battle between parents. It’s often better if people are working together for the interests of the children involved.

 

Hire the Best Lawyer

 

First of all, you should make sure that you hire the best possible lawyer because this will ultimately help you achieve the right outcomes for you as a parent. There’s little point in trying to plead your own case without the help of the lawyer because the chances are you don’t know the law as well as a professional family lawyer does. They’ll be able to achieve more and take the approach that’s right for you.

 

Listen to Their Advice

 

Once you have a good lawyer on your side, you need to make sure that you’re actually listening to them. It’s all well and good having a lawyer but if you’re not taking their advice and doing what they advice you to, there’s little point them being there at all. So don’t be one of those people who assumes they know better than the professionals because the truth is you probably don’t at all.

 

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Know Where You Stand

 

It is good, however, to always know where you stand with the case and the law surrounding child custody in general. You want to make sure that you know what you’re likely to achieve and which of your demands are realistic and have basis in existing law and which don’t. Again, this is something that you should looking to talk about with your lawyer because they will have experience dealing with these kinds of cases.

 

Try to Keep Things Amicable

 

It’s a good idea to do what you can to keep things amicable as you move through the divorce. A positive divorce has to be one throughout which you stay in touch with your partner and don’t let things get complicated or messy. You’ll be exposed to a lot less stress if you simply put in the effort required to keep the relationship between you and your ex as amiable as it can be.

 

Work Through the Processes Logically

 

Divorces can be frustrating because they often drag out for a long time and cause you problems along the way. However, if you try to take shortcuts and don’t do things by the book, you will only make it more difficult than it needs to be. Whether it feels like it or not at the time, you will get through the divorce faster if you logically follow all the steps the law wants you to.

 

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Don’t Let Your Emotions Run Away With You

 

If you let your emotions get the better of you when you’re moving through the divorce process, you will only serve to make the divorce more painful for both parties. You should try to deal with your emotions separately in your own time with a therapist. It’s certainly not a good idea to bring your emotions into the legal process of the divorce because that’s simply not the place for raw emotion.

 

Don’t Allow Vengeance to Come Into It

 

You might still be feeling sore about the nature of the split and how it all played out for you. But you shouldn’t allow vengeance to become a motivating factor in the divorce process. Instead, you should try to do what’s best for everyone involved. It’s not about punishing your ex or getting revenge for what happened in the relationship. All of that should be left at the door.

 

Going through a child custody battle is never easy and it’s one of those things that can get the better of you if you let it. It’s always best to play by the rules and work with the best legal help because that’s how you’ll achieve the kinds of outcomes you’re looking for. Keep that in mind.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

15 Secrets to Make a Marriage Work

15 Secrets to Make a Marriage Work

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Challenges are normal in marriages. As they say, love is not enough to make a marriage successful. Both partners have to do their best to make sure that the marriage will work. Otherwise, the entire family suffers. These are fifteen secrets that real-life couples attest to being pivotal to the success of their marriages:

  1. Listen to your partner

Listening to each other may seem easy but you would be surprised how many couples struggle with this. Both partners should realize that hearing and listening are two vastly different things. To be a good listener, you should open your mind and heart to what your partner is saying. This way, you can understand their perspective.

  1. Accept your partner

One of the most common reasons for breakups between married couples is lack of acceptance. Both men and women have this tendency to try to change their partners to what they think they should be. If they have to, however, they have to make that journey on their own. Focus on the positive traits and features of your partner so you will be less stressed.

  1. Be responsible

Both partners must be responsible as individuals and as a team. When you set out to do something as a couple, you must remember to take responsibility whether it will be successful or not. You also have to accept that part of it may be on you.

Another aspect of marriage that being responsible would be helpful in is during arguments. If someone said something that was uncalled for, the other party must take responsibility by apologizing.

Be equally responsible in parenting as well. Both should try and spend as much time with the kids as possible. With some free time, both can help the kids do their homework. In case you both are too busy to help with homework of your kids, at least have them at least have them home tuition for the subjects they find difficult.

  1. Go on date nights

Date nights are essential to a marriage as they keep the fire burning. You do not have to go to a fancy restaurant or a luxury hotel. There are many things you can do depending on what you have in mind. Even just one night on a camping beach is already a romantic gesture. Make sure that your phones are off so that you can concentrate on each other.

  1. Be intimate

Therapists always say that sex is important if you are to keep your marriage healthy. According to some researchers and therapists, sex should be done on a regular basis. Sex should also be interesting so it would be best to sit down and talk about experimenting. Keep it exciting but safe in the bedroom.

  1. Spot “soft” emotions

The concept of a “soft” emotion may be foreign to you but it is incredibly helpful in ensuring that partners empathize with each other. For example, when you feel anger, you are most likely masking another emotion. Usually, these emotions are your vulnerabilities. You could be jealous, insecure or disappointed. Partners should be able to look for the soft emotion that may be just bubbling beneath the surface.

  1. Stop being controlling

Being controlling is never good in a marriage. Control may be how a partner wants to keep the other to fit in to what they expect of them. When one partner starts becoming controlling, the other may start resenting that. This is why talking with each other about such issues is a good thing. If settling between each other is no longer working, it is best to go to a marriage counselor.

  1. Avoid ever using the D-word

No matter what stage you are in your marriage, you should never use the D-word. Couples have been known to use divorce as a threat to each other. This can be used as a control mechanism that may be bound to fail as most of those who do it end up filing divorce papers. Not only is it immature, it also does not solve the problem the couple is facing.

  1. Be realistic about your expectations

The moment you get married, you should start letting go of the fantasy. Fairy tale endings do not happen in real life marriages. You need to be realistic about what you expect of your partner and your relationship. Accept that sometimes, being “okay” is more than enough. Otherwise, you will just end up being disappointed. This could lead to resentment, which you do not want in a marriage.

  1. Never take each other for granted

Never be complacent in a marriage. Always strive to be the best partner you can be. This way, your partner will see that you value them. They can return the favor too. Sure, it may be human nature to be comfortable with what is familiar to you but when you are in a committed relationship, try to resist any urge to be complacent.

  1. Agree to disagree

You may be married now but you are still individuals. You are never going to agree on every single thing. These disagreements could be on something as small as your choice in tea or something big like your political affiliation. Part of why a lot of marriages succeed is when both partners have the ability to meet halfway and compromise. No one has to be right every time.

  1. Be independent

One of the keys to a happy marriage is maintaining your independence. The husband and the wife must be able to enjoy their own personal space and hobbies. Part of this is sometimes getting the time to be apart. This way, you can ensure that you are happy, which could lead to a happy marriage. After all, a marriage works only when both partners have a sense of fulfillment in their lives.

  1. Be romantic

Never take romantic acts for granted. This can help keep the fire alive in the marriage. Send them flowers. Place a love note. Give them a ring. All ideas are valid just as long as the other partner ends up happy.

  1. Tell each other compliments

Compliments make a person feel good. Acknowledge the positive traits that your partner may have.

  1. Learn to communicate

To say that communication is important in a marriage is an understatement. The couple must be able to talk to each other about their feelings and issues freely. Partners should also look out for non-verbal cues. Read about love languages, which is how a person communicates their love. This could be in the form of acts of service or words of affirmation.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.