Tag Archives: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Painting Yourself A Different Color: Overcoming Shyness After A Separation

Painting Yourself A Different Color: Overcoming Shyness After A Separation

Pixabay

It’s something that can color your entire life, crippling shyness. You may find yourself in situations where you have overcome it, and you’ve been successful in finding a partner for life, but then, comes the middle age concerns, and problems like divorce are on the increase. When you are of a shy disposition, and you are going through a divorce, or you have separated from someone, having this shyness can feel like a death sentence. But when it comes to reclaiming your life, or overcoming shyness in the wake of a breakup, what are the best ways to achieve this?

Faking It ‘Til You Make It

Ultimately, shyness is something that you have placed on yourself as a label. As you progress through life, there are others who get to know you better and realize that you aren’t that backward in coming forward. But for the opportunities that present themselves after a breakup, nearly new social situations, the fact is, these people that you will potentially meet don’t know you have this shyness. As a result, this is something you can make efforts to completely eradicate. Faking it ‘til you make it is one of those things that is spoken a lot by psychologists and motivational speakers, but there is a lot of truth in presenting an image that you want, rather than the one you have. Faking it ‘til you make it encompasses many things, but from a scientific perspective, the reason it works is that your brain is unable to tell the difference between reality and fiction. As a result, things like positive self-talk and retraining your brain through processes like cognitive behavioral therapy, have shown that it is possible for you to change who you are. Remember, your only barrier in this is yourself. So, the next time you look in the mirror and think negative thoughts about yourself, try to turn these into a positive. It doesn’t happen overnight, but by making the positive changes as soon as you can, you are starting on the long road to be a new version of you.

Trying New Things

It’s a double whammy after divorce, as you are trying to recapture a sense of who you are, in light of the difficult circumstances you must, but also, in suffering painful shyness, being social is a difficult task already. But, the trick to developing any sense of resilience in life is heading outside our comfort zone. Even if it makes you anxious, take one small step outside your comfort zone, or if you are feeling confident enough, go further, and join a social group. But the best way to begin is to think about what your own specific hobbies are. For example, if you like getting fit, you can easily go to a gym class, or a yoga group, which puts you in a social situation, but you don’t necessarily have to engage in conversation. Yes, it can be intimidating if you see groups of people there that are friendly with each other, but this is only because they’ve been in the class for a while. Keep going, and you will end up being part of that social group. Trying new things is the best way to get out of your comfort zone, and the trick in escaping your comfort zone bit by bit means that after a while, these situations that cause anxiety won’t make you feel so anxious anymore. There are so many social groups that cater for so many different types of people, such as language classes where you are all struggling to get by in a foreign language, but gives you the opportunity to talk. And even if you don’t go to something like this, group meetups are usually full of people who aren’t that particularly social, which gives you an advantage because you are in the same boat. But it’s always handy to have a few things up your sleeve when in these groups, such as various conversation topics, just to keep the chat flowing. This is part of a great conversation, asking the right questions. And, because everybody likes to talk about themselves, as a shy person, you can be at a disadvantage, because all you need to do is ask questions now and then and the conversation and will continue to flow. As a result, you can feel ready to speak a bit more about yourself when the time comes, or you can choose to sit back and take it easy.

Understanding Self-Sabotage

We are all works in progress, and after we’ve been through a difficult time like divorce or separation, we can escape the ordeal with a very negative view of ourselves. It’s one of those things that is so easy to do, because it reinforces our own downtrodden beliefs about who we are, and they compound themselves, which we then carry through life. As soon as you understand that these thoughts and emotions aren’t who you really are, nor do they have to be who you are, you can then take the appropriate methods necessary to understand how to overcome these. As already mentioned, positive self-talk is one of those fantastic things that, when practicing, will help you to realign your beliefs and thought processes, and turn you into a more confident person. But if you find it it’s stopping you living your life, then you need to think about how to tackle this.

You have a well of strength inside you, and while you might think that your shyness is your downfall, because this is something you want to change, and then you will make the effort to do what is necessary. But it’s not a race, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process, where you take little steps in the right direction. And for any problem, especially shyness, going in the right direction is more than enough when it comes to changing yourself. Painting yourself a different color is about finding the right colors and textures, and this isn’t something that happens immediately.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Tips for Beating Insomnia without Prescription Pills

Tips for Beating Insomnia without Prescription Pills

Unmade Bed

Insomnia is the most common sleep disorder in the United States. A recent survey found that 95 percent of adults nationwide experience insomnia at some point in their lives ― and roughly one-third reported insomnia-related sleep problems within the past year. Many people treat insomnia using prescribed medications. Many physicians recommend a class of non-benzodiazepines known as ‘z-drugs’, which have proven quite effective at reducing insomnia symptoms and are considered the go-to medication for this disorder. Other hypnotics and sedatives may be prescribed, as well.

Unfortunately, all prescribed medications used to treat insomnia carry potentially negative side effects. Although these vary by drug, some of the most common effects include daytime drowsiness, headaches, nausea and light sensitivity. Many are also habit-forming, and can lead to addictive tendencies if they are taken for long periods of time. This post will look at some of the most effective anti-insomnia measures you can take without prescription meds.

Types of Insomnia

In order to properly treat insomnia, it’s important to understand the different forms this sleep disorder can take. Secondary insomnia refers to symptoms that occur due to another injury, illness, prescription drug dependency or other conditions that can disrupt sleep patterns; primary insomnia, on the other hand, arises independently.

Insomnia may also be classified by duration. The term ‘short-term’ or ‘acute’ insomnia refers to symptoms that last for less than 30 days; after the 30-day benchmark, the condition progresses to chronic insomnia. Additionally, ‘transient’ insomnia applies to travelers who experience insomnia symptoms as they adapt to a different time zone; ‘jet lag’ is considered a type of short-term transient insomnia. Generally speaking, you should only seek treatment for insomnia once it has evolved into a chronic condition.

Some people with insomnia have a particularly tough time falling asleep; this is known as sleep-onset insomnia. Others struggle to remain asleep throughout the night; this is referred to as sleep-maintenance insomnia. This post will address treatment options for both sleep-onset and sleep-maintenance insomnia.

Option 1: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

This option (known as CBT for short) is a catch-all term for any type of sleep therapy that addresses insomnia symptoms. CBT has proven highly effective, and is regarded as comparable ― if not superior ― to prescription drugs. CBT often involves sleep restriction therapy (SRT), which requires the patient to follow a rigid sleep schedule every night and get up at the same time each morning. Realigning your sleep patterns to fit a certain window period is often the key to beating insomnia.

Another type of CBT commonly used for insomnia patients is stimulus control, which trains the patient to ignore stimuli (such as light and background noise) that hinder a good night’s sleep. Paradoxical intention may also be used; this reverse-psychology approach requires patients to lay in bed and remain awake as long as possible, allowing their minds to relax and their bodies to become naturally tired. Many CBT patients are asked to record their nighttime patterns in a sleep diary in order to see if progress is being made.

Option 2: Light Therapy

Many people experience insomnia due to disruptions to their Circadian rhythm, a biological 24-hour clock that operates in sync with natural sunlight. Light therapy (also known as phototherapy) uses bright lamps to trigger the suprachiasmatic nucleus area of the brain’s hypothalamus and help realign a patient’s Circadian cycle. Regular exposure to the lamplight will eventually get the patient back on track.

Generally speaking, light therapy requires exposure to the lamps for at least 30 minutes per day, preferably in the morning. Light therapy lamps utilize bulbs measured at roughly 10,000 lux; in contrast, household lights usually range between 50 and 80 lux. Light therapy is relatively expensive and completely drug-free. However, the artificial light is less effective for people who spend long periods of time under natural sunlight (i.e., those who work outside).

Option 3: Improved Sleep Hygiene

If you are struggling with insomnia, then there’s a good chance you can reduce some of your symptoms by changing your daily sleep habits. Cutting out nicotine and alcohol is a good start; you may want to curb your caffeine intake, as well. Also avoid activities like eating and exercising too close to bedtime. You may want to re-evaluate your mattress, as well, particularly if you have chronic back and/or shoulder pain; mattresses made of soft materials like latex and memory foam are designed to alleviate pain and pressure to a much greater extent than traditional innersprings.

Option 4: Melatonin

Melatonin is a natural hormone produced in the pineal gland that helps regulate Circadian rhythm and healthy sleep patterns. It is regulated by the amino acid tryptophan, also known as the sleep-inducing substance in foods like turkey. Many physicians encourage insomnia patients to take melatonin supplements because, unlike other anti-insomnia medications, melatonin is non-habit-forming and produces very few side effects. Melatonin is currently available as an over-the-counter medication.

Ben Murray is a writer and researcher for sleep science hub Tuck.com. He can usually be found running, hiking, biking or kayaking around the Pacific Northwest ― though he enjoys a good nap as much as the next person.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram