Tag Archives: divorce

Self-Care During Divorce

Self-Care During Divorce

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Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. The world you knew is crumbling around you, while there are all kinds of legal and financial things that need to be dealt with. Having a good lawyer can help to put your mind at rest, at least where the legal side is concerned. Mediation services like Buncombe mediation can also help to take the stress off.

But what about the emotional side of divorce? While all of the technicalities are getting dealt with, it’s critical to take time for self-care and reflection. Everyone’s divorce situation is unique and each of us handles these challenges differently. If you’re feeling down, stressed or tense due to divorce, spending time to care for yourself will leave you much better off in the long run.

Talking it through

Help make this messy process easier to cope with by understanding some of the mental effects of divorce. It’s totally understandable for you to feel sad, angry, depressed, lost or any other combination of emotions right now. Give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Don’t be tempted to hide your emotions away or suppress them with drink, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Instead, turn to friends, family, or specially trained professionals who can help you to navigate your way through this maze of tangled emotions. It can help to tell friends and family exactly how you’d like to be supported, as these times can be hard for them to navigate, too. Let them know what will help you.

Remember if you feel that the divorce is affecting your mental health, it’s important to speak to a therapist who can help you to cope. There may be support groups you can go to where you can share exactly how you’re feeling with people who are going through the same thing.

Going easy on yourself

You might be finding it hard to concentrate on other things or spending a lot of time going over the situation in your head. You may even be feeling guilty or having negative thoughts about yourself. It’s natural to feel this way when you’re going through emotional challenges, but try to be kind to yourself.

Practicing self-compassion or mindfulness techniques can help you to see things from a different perspective. You could boost your self-confidence by writing a list of all of the things that you like about yourself or any compliments you’ve received that have stuck with you. Gratitude journals can also be a great way of maintaining a positive outlook, as it can help you to see the little things worth celebrating despite the heartache you’re going through.

Exercising

It’s no secret that exercise is great for mental health and overall wellbeing. Your self-esteem and confidence might have taken a dive during this time. It’s natural to want to hide away when you feel stressed or down. But you can boost your endorphins and your self-image by making time for exercise you enjoy. This could be a challenge you set yourself to take your mind off things. Alternatively, you could take up a new sport or activity that you’ve always wanted to try. Having a sense of excitement and accomplishment could give you a little boost when things seem hopeless and remind you there are new things on the horizon.

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Preparing For The Worst With The Best

Preparing For The Worst With The Best

You hope that the worst case scenario should never happen and of course, for most of us it that will not, but every so often the unexpected can and will happen in life and that’s why being prepared for these unexpected situations is necessary for wherever you are.

You might suddenly find yourself facing a long term illness or in the middle of a situation where you require some professional advice, for example a legal dispute with an employee over employment terms or with a neighbour over land ownership. With any of these situations you want advice from the best and you want to make sure your money is going as far as it can for great results.

That’s why you’ll find everything you need in this guide on how to get the very best in legal advice when you need it most and what to look for when hiring a lawyer, whether that’s for something for work or for when you’re in need of a divorce lawyer. We take a look at what makes the best legal representation for your very individual situation and and some of the pitfalls you’ll need to avoid. Whatever your legal needs are you’ll find the lowdown on hiring right here.

Word Of Mouth

Who’s on the grapevine as being the best in the business? Once you start looking for someone to represent you, you soon start hearing from everyone, from the local postman to the receptionist at the gym about someone they’ve used or heard about from a friend. Take a note of these names, if one or two keep cropping up then it may be worth getting in touch for an initial consultation.

Ask your friends, family and fellow professionals for some recommendations too, having a personal introduction can help oil the wheels and make the process of appointing someone a whole lot easier.

Read reviews online and find out their success rate, which should be a matter of public record. You’ll also want to make sure that the lawyer is someone who specialises in your particular issue, rather than a general practitioner.

Interview widely

Take your time in in finding the very best in advice and in finding someone you feel can handle your case and all the complexities that go with it. You may need to talk to one or two or even more lawyers before you decide on appointing someone, and depending on the size of your case they may be able to handle it solo or need some help from someone else in their firm. Make sure you know all the details of how this will work before you sign up.

If you’re worried about wasting your time and money on initial consultations that don’t lead anywhere, most lawyers will give you enough time to explain their case, around 15-30 minutes, before they start charging by the hour, so make sure to go in fully prepared with the facts of your case and any questions you might have.

Search online

As mentioned up post if you’re interested in one particular firm, then you should be able to find out a fair amount about them from the public record. You will be able to see the success rate of the individual lawyer and how well they are rated by individual clients.

If the practice has several lawyers, find out which one seems to have more experience in your particular type of case and ask to meet with them first rather than someone you just find yourself assigned to. You need to know that your case will be taken seriously and if you are going to be able to strike up good communication with whoever is taking it on.

Characteristics

You’re going to need someone experienced and yet hungry to make a win. If you feel that your lawyer is too laid back or gives the impression that they’ve seen it all, failing to reassure you then avoid this lawyer.

Similarly, avoid anyone that promises you a big win. Instead find someone who is measured and calm and who you feel can be honest with you about how the case will run and what the chances are of it going the way you want. Find that right mix of determination and level-headedness and you’ll have someone fighting your corner who stands every chance of winning your case for you. If the worst does happen and you do lose, then with the right lawyer you’ll know they tried their best and that the loss wasn’t through lack of trying.

Budget

The one thing we would say is that lawyers don’t come cheap so whether the matter is personal or professional you’ll want to have a very realistic picture of how much this service is going to cost you overall.

A lawyer usually charges clients by the hour though you may find some will offer a flat fee or even be happy to wait until the end of the case and collect a percentage of any damages and their legal fees if paid by the opposition. Make sure you are very clear with your legal representative on how the fee charging process will work and even let them know your top end of the budget.

You may well have room to compromise with something like an upfront payment to start out with and then the rest coming in the form of a successful pay out. This will depend on how confident your lawyer is of the case going in your favour. You might also want to explore the possibility of legal aid and legal loans to cover the ongoing expenses.

The money can very quickly disappear so keep on top of your billing as you move through the consultation to trial proceedings.


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5 Pieces of Advice for a Relationship That’s on the Rocks

5 Pieces of Advice for a Relationship That’s on the Rocks

You have been trudging through life at a snail’s pace recently, especially when it comes to every aspect of your relationship or marriage. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction for you at the moment, but you’re not sure how to rectify it all. Perhaps you’re going through some big marriage problems right now or you have lost your identity in an overbearing relationship. There are many ways that you can get the spring back into your step, without causing yourself too much distress. Consider some of the following pieces of advice and you will soon feel happier, healthier and more independent.

1. Explore Your Options

When you’re extremely unhappy in your marriage you need to think long and hard about your future. If you don’t feel able to continue your life as it is, then you might need to start thinking about making some serious changes. Visit the following website https://www.browndahan.com/what-we-do/divorce/ and see if a divorce lawyer might be able to advise you during this time in your life. It is a life changing decision to make, but most of the time you will feel a huge release once you have go through with the process. Even if you’re not ready to go through with it yet, you will at least be able to figure out if it’s something you need to pursue.

2. Know Your Worth

If your other half keeps on bringing you down then you need to know that you’re so much better than that. You should never accept unsolicited criticism, especially if it is making you feel self-conscious. If your partner has been abusing you verbally then you need to assess what’s best for your own mental health.

3. Seek Professional Advice

There might be parts of the relationship that are salvageable if you want to seek out professional advice from a couple’s therapist. Talking to someone who can act as a mediator will help you both to get back on track with your marriage or long term relationship.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

It takes a courageous person to be able to walk away from a toxic relationship, because you are suddenly facing the world alone. If someone has been by your side for most of your life it can be very difficult to let them go, even if they aren’t bringing positivity to your life. Be courageous and stand up for yourself whenever necessary; you are bound to feel empowered as soon as you go through with it.

5. Pursue Something That Makes You Happy

If you have been stuck in an unhappy relationship for a while, you might have lost your inner spark. Pursuing something that makes you truly happy might just be the best cure for your problems as your mind will be taken off the rocky goings on in your life right now.

So be brave and make the right decision for you as an individual, instead of fighting for a relationship that is making you unhappy.

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Having A More Amicable Breakup For The Sake Of The Kids

Having A More Amicable Breakup For The Sake Of The Kids

When breaking up with your partner it is never an easy time for one another and especially if there are children involved as it also will have an effect on them too. When going through a break up where Kids are involved then it is always best to go through it amicably to reduce the strain it causes on them and also to make sure they don’t lose any respect for either of you if you were to go about it nastily. Here are some tips to help you get through the break up without affecting the kids too much.

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Stay amicable

Being amicable is about treating each other nicely during the split or at least doing so in front of the children. If you are at each other’s throats all the time the kids will take that in and either bottle up which can affect them mentally or they could even start acting out because of it which would mainly be at school, therefore, having an adverse effect on their school life too. If you are not able to talk things over amicably then it may be best to do it with a mediator or counselor to make sure you get somewhere with your talks.

Get things legalized

When going through a break up involving children it is always best to have any time with the children legalized. This means that you have the children on your set days and this can not be prevented unless done through the courts, this also stops the children from being used as a weapon in a rocky separation as it is in writing when you can have the children, what days and for how long for. This is done as part of the separation/divorce procedure with the assistance of child support who will help you come to the best arrangments with each other on who has who when.

Be fair

When you are deciding on the legal side of things and what you want to get out of the split then make sure you are fair to each other as much as possible as if you were to take too much from one another then this can have implications on having the children and keeping them. If they are not able to look after them because you have taken more off your partner than is fair then that creates more bitterness during the separation and can lead to them making it harder. If you are fair in the legal battle or with splitting who gets what including the children then it will be better for the children in the long run as they will see both parents and have a good upbringing no matter who they are with.

A breakup is awful for both parties but especially the children, this will have an effect on them not only short term but long term too. If you are kind and fair throughout the whole ordeal then they will come out of it stronger and it will be more beneficial for all parties involved. With these tips, you will be able to get through the breakup with as little damage to your children as possible.


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Stressful Life Events and How to Deal with Them

By Guest Blogger, Diana S.

Stressful Life Events and How to Deal with Them

 

We all wish our lives were smooth sailing, with little to no turbulence and with all of our loved ones by our side. Very few people actually like big changes, especially if the changes stem from something negative. But, life isn’t perfect, and there will be times in your life when you will be stressed beyond your limits and you will feel like things are falling apart. Here’s how to recognize some of the most stressful events in life and how to deal with them in a healthy way:

Divorce

When you marry someone, you promise you’ll be with them forever. However, people change, and sometimes – they grow apart. Not everyone who falls out of love gets divorced, but it is perfectly okay if you do. Divorce happens, especially if the people married very young, if their marriage was arranged or if it was made because of other circumstances than love. Still, the divorce itself isn’t the most stressful part: everything that goes along with it is. Getting a divorce usually means one person moving away, splitting all of your belongings and sharing custody of your children. If a marriage ends badly, it can lead to nasty lawsuits and years of bad blood until everything settles down, with the majority of the conflict, unfortunately, being absorbed by the children. If you want your divorce to be as stress-free as possible, make sure that you both act civil. It happens, people fall out of love, and whatever the reason for the divorce is, you can settle it in a calm manner. Your nerves aren’t worth that couch you want. However, if one side feels they are being damaged, they should express clearly why they feel that way and contact a lawyer.

Moving house

Sometimes, life forces you to uproot your whole life and family and move them to a new place entirely. If you’re moving out of necessity, because you’ve gotten a job offer in Australia that you just have to take, there isn’t much you can do but make the move as painless as possible. This will, once again, be the hardest on the kids. If they are in school and they have friends and activities that they love, you will have to make sure you make the transition easy for them. Hire a local furniture removalist in Melbourne, get the house prepared before you even get there and make sure the kids’ rooms are all done up. Contact the schools and local sports and art centers to make sure they have a place to do their favorite activities in, and if you know any people there with kids of similar ages, make sure you start having dinners together as soon as possible. Most importantly, make sure you explain to your kids why you’re moving. If they understand that this is something that has to be done, and if you get them excited about the new opportunities in their new home, it will make it much easier for everyone.

Death of a loved one

There is really nothing as tragic as losing someone you love, especially if they were someone who were close to you and with whom you spent a lot of time. It can be a big shock but it is an inevitable change which you won’t be able to avoid. When a loved one passes away, it’s important to give yourself the time and space to grieve. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset and it’s okay to need time alone. You might feel better surrounded by family and friends, but there will be time when you will need to close the door and have a cry by yourself. It’s important that you eventually accept their passing and remember your loved ones by honoring some traditions they loved.

 

Life can get stressful, and that’s why it’s important to have a support network around you, one that will make sure you have someone to lean on when things get hard. Remember, the most important thing we have in the world are the people around us, so always keep them close.

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4 Tell Tale Signs That Your Relationship May Be Ending

4 Tell Tale Signs That Your Relationship May Be Ending

Breaking up is hard to do, or so Neil Sedaka would have us believe. Any relationship that ends, whether amicably or in a shouty mess is traumatic for everyone involved. You may have been devoted to the same person for years, only to witness the foundations of your bond crumbling. Trying to maintain an amicable end to a relationship is ridiculously hard, even for the most friendly of exes. Breaking up is intense, emotional and bittersweet. Although this may be a mutual decision, there will always be one person in the relationship who initiated the ‘break up’ thought. If this wasn’t you, it could be even tougher to go your separate ways.

 

Often we are caught in a state of flux with our relationship becoming more volatile alongside periods of breaking up and then making up. While the making up can be a lot of fun, the roller coaster motion of the relationship can be emotionally draining and is unsustainable. Something’s got to give. Take a look at these signs that may show you that your relationship is ending.

 

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  1. Things Are Stagnant

 

Often when we are the throes of young love or feel the initial flames of a burning passion, relationships can progress quite naturally. You may begin dating before spending more and more time together. You might introduce one another to family and friends. You move in together, and then, that’s it. For many couples, this suffices, and they build upon the foundation of their relationship with shared experiences and become closer. However, for other people, they hanker after marriage and children. Unless spoken about early on in a relationship, one party could be in for a rude awakening when they realize that their partner is not interested in a piece of paper or becoming a parent.

 

The feeling of being stagnant and going nowhere in a relationship can be crushing. You may have been tactile initially and enjoyed one another’s company. If nowadays you spend your evenings sat on separate sofas glued to a smartphone or tablet screen with barely an utterance between you, it may be time to reassess your relationship. If you want different things from your partner, you need to end the relationship sooner rather than later. The fear of being single shouldn’t keep you tied to an unfulfilling relationship.

 

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  1. Their Cute Habits Are Not Anything But

 

Remember when you first met your partner and they had the sweetest sniffly sort of giggle? Now that noise that emanates from their face every time they find something funny is driving you crazy. Or do you remember when your partner used to leave you sweet love notes in the oddest of places for you to find around your home? Now all you do is wince at the amount of paper litter dotted around your humble abode. If those traits that your partner has no longer give you the warm butterfly feelings that they once did, you may be outgrowing the relationship.

 

If you have been with your partner for a long time or you have even walked down the aisle and said ‘I do,’ it can be hard to make the break. However, firms like USAttorneys are on hand to give you impartial advice on the legalities of divorce, home ownership and assets. While the emotional side of breaking up can be testing, the practical and financial aspect cannot be overlooked.

 

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  1. You Seek Time Apart

 

Often the first sign that we no longer want to be in a relationship is our newfound ability to find any excuse not to spend time with our partner. We may head out for dinner with friends a little more often, decline the offer of dates a little more or choose to spend a night in alone with a good movie and a tub of ice cream rather than spending it with your supposed loved one. If nearly all other eventualities are more appealing than spending time with your partner, don’t fall into the trap of ghosting. This is unpleasant and unkind. Sit down with your boyfriend or girlfriend and make the break. This is easier to do if you haven’t made any sort of long-term commitment such as buying a house together or marriage. In any case, you need to talk. Unless they are in complete denial, they will know that something is awry and possibly has been for some time. Your partner may simply be waiting for you to signal the break to allow you both to carry on with your lives.

 

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  1. One Of You Is More Into The Other

 

While you may not be a commitment-phobe, the fact that your partner professed their undying love for you a fortnight after you first met may be enough for you to call a halt to the whole thing. At the same time, if you are the one who has been struck by Cupid’s arrow early on, it can be difficult to hold down your true feelings. You don’t want to appear clingy or needy when you have only been on a couple of dates. If it’s impossible to slow the relationship train down, one of you will become more emotionally invested than the other which can lead to a traumatic breakup. When someone feels suffocated in a relationship, that relationship will not end up being a long one.

 

Sit down with your partner, talk about your feelings and make an effort to take things slowly. If the next day you find a dozen roses at your door or find that your partner has lined up some apartments for you to view to potentially move in together, it’s time to break up.

 

Relationships, especially those that you thought would last forever, can be difficult to end when you have to wave goodbye to a future that you thought you had planned out. However, it’s better and healthier for all involved to make a clean break rather than make do and wallow in an unhappy relationship. For your own sanity and health, be single for a while, date when you want and enjoy getting to know yourself again.

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How to Choose the Right Counseling for Your Relationship

How to Choose the Right Counseling for Your Relationship

Everyone goes through a tough time in their relationship. It’s almost inevitable that you and your partner will at some point argue over something. Whether it’s a trivial matter, a complete misunderstanding or a serious problem, we all have ups and downs in our love life. But, as the saying goes, whatever doesn’t break your relationship should make you stronger.

One of the most common ways to mend a relationship is to hire a counselor for help. If you’re suffering from major issues in your relationship then you’ll want to try your best to get professional help, but it can be daunting trying to pick the right person to trust with your problems. It goes without saying that counseling sometimes doesn’t work, and things such as success rates could potentially put you off ever speaking to someone.

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The reality of counseling

First, we need to go through some basics. Counseling doesn’t guarantee that you and your partner will get back to together. In fact, most couples leave it far too late and, as a result, they don’t get the desired results. Some couples wait until their relationship is almost over until they decide to visit a counselor, and this is a terrible idea. Professionals can identify problem areas with your relationship, not just fix current issues, so if you’re currently in a fine relationship but want to safeguard your future, then consider speaking to a counselor regardless. In addition, counseling sometimes results in ugly conclusions such as divorce. While unpleasant, you shouldn’t completely rule out the possibility of your counselor telling you that divorce is the best option.

Faith-based counseling

People often forget that our decisions can be heavily influenced by our faith. This is why services like Christian counseling exist for those of us who follow certain religions. It’s important to understand that you need to think about someone’s faith before you decide to call in a counselor because the decisions and conclusions you reach will be different. Depending on your teachings, the ideals you follow and so on, it’s possible to solve an issue in different ways that won’t lead you to betray your beliefs. Picking the right counselor that understands your beliefs is the key to having successful therapy sessions.

The reputation of your counselor

You need to pick a counselor that has a good reputation. There are many counselors out there that will refuse to listen to you, opt to pick a treatment or conclusion that doesn’t fit your overall goals, and could even damage your relationship. As a therapist, their position is incredibly important in the role of improving your marriage, which is why you need someone who is trustworthy and has a long list of clients that can vouch for their services. If you’re unable to find recommendations locally, then look online and read reviews on nearby counselors to size up the services available in your area. Take your time on this step, because the difference between a good and a lazy counselor could ultimately make or break your relationship.

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