Category Archives: SEX & LIFE

Tips on sexual health, mental health, relationships, and everyday healthy life.

The Dos And Don’ts Of Ending A Relationship When Kids Are Involved

March 22, 2017 TipsfromTia

The Dos And Don’ts Of Ending A Relationship When Kids Are Involved

Bringing a relationship to an end is always very difficult. But it is made even harder when the two of you have children. Even though young children always seem to take everything in their stride, they might find this a very distressing experience. After all, no one wants their parents to split up! Thankfully, there are some things to ensure that the separation is a lot easier on your children. You just need to follow these dos and dontâ€™s.

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Do Be As Civil As Possible

You and your partner may not be in each otherâ€™s good books any longer, but that is no reason to fight and argue whenever you see each other. Especially when the kids are around. No child wants to see their parents constantly argue so you should both endeavor to be as civil as possible when in each otherâ€™s company. If you find that too difficult to manage, you will be better off using a mediator to contact one another.

Donâ€™t Start A Legal Battle

Ending a relationship is one thing but ending a marriage is another. For this, you will both need a divorce attorney. Once you start the legal proceedings, things can go one of two ways. Either you can both come to an agreement, and the divorce will be done and dusted before you even know it. Or you can fight things out until the bitter end in a lengthy legal battle. This second option will take it out on you both, but it can also have a very negative impact on your children. It will be in everyoneâ€™s best interest if you try and get all the legal side over and done with, with as little stress as possible.

Donâ€™t Make Your Kids Pick A Side

Some parents try and get their kids on their side to try and get one over on their ex. But the end of your relationship shouldnâ€™t turn into a contest of who can get all the kids on their side. Just because you and your ex no longer love each other, doesnâ€™t mean that your kids need to stop loving your partner just because you say so. Again, this is only going to cause unnecessary stress and hurt for your children.

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Do Avoid Overcompensating

Parents often worry about their kids as they work through the end of a relationship. As a result, they often try and overcompensate for the situation by spoiling them. However, this shouldnâ€™t be an excuse for your kids to get anything that they want. At the end of the day, no amount of new material things will make for the emotional stress that the breakup will put them through. Rather than simply buying them meaningless things, you should be there emotionally for them, and offer them all the love and support that they need.

Divorce and a breakups are hard on anyone. But you shouldnâ€™t forget about your kids in this situation. Donâ€™t forget to offer them a shoulder to cry on during this difficult time.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.comÂ is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If youâ€™ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram

ORGANIC HEALTH & HOME, SEX & LIFE

How To Downsize Your Home

March 22, 2017 TipsfromTia

How To Downsize Your Home

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Moving from a bigger property to a smaller one can have many benefits, but it can also have many disadvantages. If youâ€™re taking the bold step to downsize, here are some important factors to consider.

Why downsize?

Downsizing is generally a financial decision. If you can no longer afford the bills or rent/mortgage of your current home, going to a smaller property is the most sensible option. Some people who arenâ€™t financially struggling may temporarily downsize so that they can save up for a deposit for a bigger and better place. Meanwhile, some people may be moving location â€“ which forces them to downsize in order to afford the increased rates (for example, moving from the country to a city to pursue a job).

If youâ€™re family has recently shrunk, if a loved one has passed away or if youâ€™ve recently split up with a partner, downsizing can also be a practical option. You know longer need all that space and there may be sad memories there that are causing you to live in the past. In these cases, downsizing could give you a fresh start and allow you to live more comfortably.

Find a property that meets your needs

Going from a bigger house to a smaller one can have all kinds of difficulties. Whilst you may not be able to afford previous costs, itâ€™s important to find somewhere that still meets your needs. If youâ€™re getting older, moving from a house to a flat thatâ€™s not on the ground floor could have accessibility issues. If youâ€™re thinking of starting a family or have a baby, this child may need a room of their own, so whilst it may be cheaper to get a one-bed, moving to a less expensive location to buy a two-bed might be more practical.

The biggest obstacles however is what to do with all your possessionsâ€¦

Dealing with possessions

Fitting all the belongings from your previously larger property to a smaller property can be stressful. If the move is due to a relationship split or divorce, it may be worth hiring a family lawyer to help divide the possessions. If the move is purely for financial reasons, then you may have to consider how to deal with the excess furniture and items.

Prioritize what you really need â€“ beds, sofas and wardrobes should be measured so that you can find another property that can still feet these important belongings in. Work out the large possessions you really donâ€™t need. Is there a treadmill gathering dust in the corner? Does anyone ever use that spare chair in the corner of the room?

Sell or donate these excess items. You may be able to hold a yard sale outside your home before you move if your local council permits it. Consider attending auctions or selling at flea markets. If you really canâ€™t part with any of your possessions, renting out a storage container may be an option, although this will cost you extra money. Storage containers can sometimes be a great temporary option whilst you decide how to deal with certain items, useful if youâ€™ve just been through a bereavement. Remember that there may be family and friends out there that could require some of these possessions, especially those moving out of home for the first time.

FOR THE GUYS, SEX & LIFE

Real Men Dating “Lesson 3”

March 14, 2017 TipsfromTia

Guest Blogger and Musician, Cy Bryon

“Lesson 3”
So often attractions are so commonly physical nowadays that getting to know someone has become a lost art. You think just because you’ve seen her with her clothes off, you think you’ve seen her naked.

Ok, so, tell me her dreams. Tell me what breaks her heart. Tell me what she’s passionate about, what makes her cry? Tell me about her childhood. Even better yet tell me one, just one memorable story in her life that doesn’t include you…….. I’ll wait ??????????????

hmmm …

You need to look at her as if she is art.

Learn her curves, her lines, where they begin and end. Discover her depth. Interpret her as her creator sculpted her. See her with imagination. She’s not just beautiful, she’s art and art makes you feel something .

Of course, she accepts your compliments on her face, her hair, her body, etc.Â graciously; and she is, indeed, beautiful. But not like just a girl in a magazine. She was beautiful for the way she thought, the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about something she loved, for her ability to make other people smile even though she was sad. She was beautiful because she fearlessly wore her scars with pride. She wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks.

You can compliment her over and over and she will smile when she hears it, for she has that beauty that eyes can’t deny. Just Remember, if she’s amazing she won’t be easy, if she’s easy she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it you won’t give up and if you give up, you are not worthy. Yes, she is beautiful, yet strong enough to only be moved once you see her for the beauty that is her spirit.

SEX & LIFE

The Considerations of Breaking Up

March 14, 2017 TipsfromTia

The Considerations of Breaking Up

Breaking up with your partner is one of the hardest things that you can go through. When you get close to somebody and let them into your life, it can be difficult to consider that they may be moving forward and sharing their intimacy with somebody else further on down the line. While it may be whatâ€™s best for you in the long run, it certainly doesnâ€™t feel like it at the time. But feelings are funny things, and they can cloud judgement quite a lot. While you canâ€™t put your emotions fully to one side, there are some things to consider when in a clearer state of mind.

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Marriage

If you are married, there are a few things to consider. It may be better to stay married for certain tax benefits and pension considerations, but if that is not an option then get a good company and a good representative on your case, such as a divorce lawyer from IRB Law. It can be a tough process to go through, but itâ€™s for the best if you canâ€™t come to any agreements on property and possessions and will also free you up for any future marriage to a potential partner.

Children

If you have children together, itâ€™s going to be a heartbreaking time for them too. What they have grown up with and have adapted to is about to change. While this can sound scary and enough to put you off the whole idea, you need to consider their needs too. Listen to them and constantly reassure them. When you are young, your parents are your world – to see your world split in half is not a nice thing to see.

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Friends

Friends are there for you – at least, thatâ€™s how the theme tune goes. If you have made friends together, there are some who will take sides and some who will support the both of you. Other will just slink away, and itâ€™s something that you have to come to accept. If you drag your friends into your problems without them wanting to be a part of it, you face losing them completely. Keep your personal life separate and remember that your partner is their friend too – it can be quite hurtful for them to hear nasty things being said.

The Future

You must always look for the optimism in everything in life. If you are more open to the positives than the negatives, this will set you in good stead for getting on and thriving out of what can be an otherwise awful time. Keep those who matter close to you and indulge yourself in the things that you like. There may be a time when you get back together lodged somewhere in the future, but donâ€™t get caught up in trying to bring up the past to ensure what youâ€™ve got set ahead of you. There are so many people in the world that itâ€™s possible that you just havenâ€™t found your soulmate yet – your time will come.

FOR THE GUYS, SEX & LIFE

The Five Crucial Stages Of A Romantic Relationship, And How To Know You Are Ready For Them

March 11, 2017 TipsfromTia

The Five Crucial Stages Of A Romantic Relationship, And How To Know You Are Ready For Them

Romantic relationships are amazing and stressful. But wonderful, yet can be confusing. In fact, they can have you thinking that up is down and chasing around in circles. But romantic relationships don’t have to be so confusing. Especially if you use the guide below to work out which stage you are at, and whether you are ready to move on to the next one. Then you will be able to move forward with confidence and truly enjoy your life as part of a couple.

You are ready to date

How do you know when you are ready to date someone? Well, most people think it’s when they are lonely. But this isn’t actually the best reason to start a relationship. In fact, a lot of advice now, is that you have to learn who you are first. Before getting tied down with someone else.

This is because if you get into a relationship too early is easy to start to take on some of the other person’s personality before yours is fully formed. In fact, this can happen at any age if you haven’t first taken the time to get to know yourself and what you want out of life.

But what does getting to know yourself look like? Well, it can be anything from exploring the things that you are interested in. Such as art, literature, exercise or any other hobbies. Or it can involve traveling the world and have new experiences on you own. Which is not only tons of fun but will show you that you can cope when thing get tough, without being codependent on another person. Or if could be that you give yourself some time to pursue your career goals. So you can dedicate your focus and energy to that and having some fun, before you decide to settle down.

Most importantly getting to know yourself is about not letting being single define you, and learning to deal with emotions of aloneness is a constructive way. By doing this, you know that any relationship you do decide to get into will be for the right reason. That is that you have a true connection with that person, rather than the fact that you feel uncomfortable being on your own.

You are ready to â€˜go steady.’

OK, so this isn’t the 1950â€™s! So maybe â€˜going steadyâ€™ isn’t the best term to use. But you know what I mean! I mean dating someone exclusively, making a commitment to them as your significant other, and working towards bringing your lives together as a couple.

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But how can you tell that you are ready for this stage of your relationship? Well, despite the lovely notion of a whirlwind romance, for most folks it takes a little time to know if you want to invest your emotion in another person or not. Yes, itâ€™s easy to mistake the first flushes of a relationship for something more lasting. But in reality it’s best to wait for a little and see how things work out in the longer term.

That is partly because it takes a while for you to really get to know the other person and what make them tick. As well as how this fits in with you and your goals in life.

Generally, you know that you are ready to go steady in a relationship if other potential suitors start to lose their appeal. Maybe you are thinking about the person all of the time? Or perhaps you have started imagining what your future together would look like? If this is the case, then it’s probably a good idea to have the exclusivity talk and make it official.

You are ready to move in

Now, back in the old days, it used to be that folks would date for a while and then get married. But that isn’t always the case now. For a lot of people, there is a stage in between where they cohabit or move in together.

But how do you know that you are ready for this momentous step? Well, if you are spending an inordinate amount of time looking at houses for rent online and in the paper, that might be your first clue. You are obviously thinking about how it would be to further integrate your lives.

Or it might be that you are sick and tired of living out of a suitcase. As you and your other half spend so much time together, one or other of you is always at the others place.

But moving in together is a big decision and shouldn’t just be based on convenience. You have to think about the longer term effect that it could have on you as a couple as well.

For instance, it can be a lot harder to break up if you live together. As you not only have to stop seeing that person, but you have to deal with the financial and material issues of splitting one household back into two.

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You are ready to get engaged

So some people might take this step without living together first, perhaps for religious reasons? While others will do this after they have lived together for a while. But how do you know that it is the right time to pop the question, or say yes when itâ€™s asked?

Well, first of all, if you are dreaming of diamond rings, and your other half getting down on one knee, you need to come back to reality, first. Yes, itâ€™s super fun getting engaged and celebrating your love and commitment with your friends and family.

But getting engaged is a promise to marry, and spend the rest of your life with that person. If you can’t see that happening, then it might be better to not take this step in the first place.

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Secondly, your decision needs to be based on the amount of emotional intimacy that you share as a couple. With the general idea being that you see each other as soul mates. Meaning that you feel that this person gets you in a way that no one else has, and that you have an unshakable connection and respect for one another.

If you worry that you will break up every time you have an argument, then maybe you are not quite at the getting engaged stage. As you need to be able to weather the bad times as well as the good times to make it succeed.

Having said that, it is unlikely that you wonâ€™t have any doubts as to whether you are doing the right. In fact, it would be worrisome if you didn’t, as then you obviously weren’t thinking about things deeply enough. Which you should be doing when making a true, life long commitment.

In fact, that is why having the time of being engaged before you actually get married is so useful. This is because it allows you to work out any remaining issues in the relationship, while you prepare for the wedding.

You are ready to get married

It’s funny, but if you are an anxious person, you can know down deep inside that you are ready to get married. But still, worry from time to time in the lead up to the wedding whether you are doing the right thing.

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But sometimes instead of looking for a huge thunderbolt moment, it’s the little things that can convince you that you have made the right choice for your life partner. For example, if you are calmer when you are with them than when you arenâ€™t, itâ€™s a good sign.

Or the small fact that they take the time and effort every day to make you smile can help reassure you that you have truly found the one you are meant to marry.

Everyday Tips from Tia