Tag Archives: when the child becomes the parent

Tell-Tale Signs Your Elderly Parents Need Help

Tell-Tale Signs Your Elderly Parents Need Help


Aging comes to us all, no matter how strong and healthy we may be. We will all have to deal with at some point, but before old age affects our own health, the first hurdle we will have to face is coping with elderly parents. As our parents get older, we will need to take a lot more care and attention of them as they become frail and weak. However, not many elderly parents want help from their children, no matter how much they need it. So how do you know when it is time to step in and make sure your elderly parents get all the help they need? Here are the tell-tale signs.

Home And Garden Maintenance Increases

Next time you go around to your parent’s home to visit them, take a look at the property and see how it looks. If there is quite a bit of maintenance that needs doing and repairs that need to be made, this could be a sign that your parents are struggling to cope with some household jobs and tasks. You could suggest to your parents that you start going around once a week to help them maintain their home. If you don’t have enough time, what with work and your own family, you might prefer to hire a gardener or handyman who can take care to bring their home and garden up to scratch.


Out Of Date Groceries

It is also worth taking a look in your parents’ kitchen and looking at the expiry date on all their fresh groceries. Are there quite a few that are out of date or have spoiled? If so, this could also be a sign that your parents are struggling to cope at home. They may have kept hold of expired groceries rather than go to the supermarket to buy fresh ones. This could be because they are getting quite frail, and can’t cope with a weekly shop at their local supermarket. It could also be a sign of a developing illness, such as Alzheimer’s, and their forgetfulness could be a symptom.

Poor Personal Hygiene

Do you notice a distinct funky smell when you visit your parents now? It may not be a nice thought, but maybe it’s your parents? As we get older, we often forget things and try to get by without doing too much. As a result, many elderly people forget to wash every day or feel that they don’t need to. You should ask your parents and make sure that they still keep up with their personal hygiene. There are some other signs to look out for that are giveaways of poor personal hygiene. For instance, very long nails, unkempt hair, and poor oral hygiene.


Not Eating Regularly

One sign which lots of people notice in their parents is that they lose any interest in preparing meals and eating. They may also not be eating at regular intervals. This can be a difficult sign to notice at first, especially if you don’t visit them at meal times. One way to spot this change in their behavior, though, is to keep an eye on their weight. If you notice that they start to lose weight quite quickly, then they probably aren’t eating right. Offer to cook for them a few night’s a week or invite them over to yours for dinner to ensure that they get one good meal in them.


Their Mobility Declines

Are your parents struggling to get around their house? They might find that getting up and down the stairs is now a struggle. If so, and they don’t want to relocate to a bungalow, you could always suggest that they think about the possibility of home lifts or chairlifts. These will help them get upstairs and downstairs with ease, allowing them to go about their usual activities. If your parents find it also hard to walk and balance on level ground, it may be time to get them a walking stick or zimmer frame. In some extreme cases, a wheelchair may be necessary.

Their Driving Is Becoming Very Dangerous

As we get older, we start to lose our sight and our hand-eye coordination becomes quite poor. This has a direct effect on our driving. If your parents start to get into more bother when they are out driving – maybe they end up committing more driving violations and end up causing a couple of accidents – then it could be time to make them stop driving. However, they may not be too happy with this idea as it can greatly limit their independence! But you need to tell them that it is for their own safety. Lots of towns and villages are now well connected with public transport routes, and many elderly people will be able to get discounts on their travel tickets. Explain this to them, and they should start to come round to the idea. You should also offer to give them a lift whenever you are free to do so.


They Now Lose Track Of Medication

Most elderly people are on various types of medication. Each different type will require your parents to take a certain dose at varying intervals. This can be quite difficult for old people to keep on top of. If you notice that your parents are starting to lose track of their medication, they might need some help every day to take their tablets. If they can’t keep on top of their medicine, and there is no one to help them with it every day, then they might end up having to be hospitalized. One way to help them keep on track is to create a daily schedule for them. Write out exactly what they need to take on each day of the week, and how often.

Watching our parents age can be very distressing and upsetting indeed. However, if you are able to spot the tell-tale signs that they are struggling with their age, you will be able to help them take better care of themselves.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Becoming A Full Time Carer For Your Parent – What You Need To Know

Becoming A Full Time Carer For Your Parent – What You Need To Know

You might be a busy working mom taking care of your family right now. But if your parents are aging, chances are you’re spending more and more time taking care of them too. It’s really hard to juggle the needs of your young family with the needs of your parents now they are senior citizens. And it probably feels quite peculiar that your role in the relationship is reversing. After two decades of taking care of you in your youth, you need to now care for them.

So what happens when ill health and age make your parents too frail to be independent? Are you ready and willing to do what is needed to help them? It’s a huge ask. Many people would find it too difficult at this busy time in their lives to become a full-time caregiver. Sadly, more and more of us need to step up to the challenge. Private care is so expensive now. And our parents may be very reluctant or financially unable to enter the care home system.

You may have siblings that are willing to share the care arrangements. Be wary of this, though. You’ll both have occasions when you need or want to pass the buck. This can cause friction in your relationship with your brother or sister. And if your parent finds out about the bickering, this can make the whole situation extremely awkward and unpleasant. Personal relationships within your own family can become strained too. You will sometimes be unavailable to your partner and kids as you care for your parents. Are they ready for you to become a caregiver?

16353763524_886ccc9536_zFlickr provided the pic

Your mental health can suffer from the stress and worry of caring. You need to make sure you can have plenty of breaks from the duties you need to undertake. There may be lots of personal care tasks to perform as time goes on. You and your parent might prefer to hire a nurse or caregiver for things like managing the toileting or bathing. Of course, there are closed system catheters that can help when things become more difficult for your parent to manage.

As well as caring for your parent, you will need to regularly check the living arrangements are suitable for everyone. Things change in such a short space of time. You might start by looking after your parent in their home. Later, it may be necessary to choose small, single story accommodation. And eventually, it may be essential that your parent is cared for around the clock. You may choose to move them into your family home.

So how do you cope with your parent in your home all day every day? It can feel crowded at first, and you will undoubtedly need a period of settling in. But there can be some advantages to this. You can make sure your parent is eating and drinking enough. You can use the quality time for some bonding. And it means your entire family can become close with them too. We usually move our parents in with us when we’re concerned about their safety. You’ll know their risks of injury will be dramatically reduced. Take care.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.