It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship.
You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together.
Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them.
If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward.
It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.
This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs.
Sex and trust
You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line.
You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner.
If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships.
Grey Area of Consensual
Sex: You Are Not 50 Shades of Christian Grey
By: Tia Cristy
first time I saw 50 Shades of Grey was at a private promotional showing with
about fifty of my co-workers, including my boss and his wife… Awkward.
Nevertheless, no matter how uncomfortable
the situation was, in which I was watching the box-office porn, the fact was
the title was becoming a household name worldwide.
People of all ages were getting the inside scoop on non-disclosed kink. Even my
dad, who never saw the movie, nor read the books, could make references to the
storyline. Talk about really awkward—Side note: I’m now a firm believer that
some things should never be discussed between a father and a daughter.
Anyhow, after the movie hit nationwide, the increase of emergency room visits due to sexually related injuries jumped up to a huge 20%. As a Lifestyle Blogger and talk show guest that preaches on sexual health, I felt it was imperative to work with the right experts to help couples learn proper etiquette in spicing up their love life. I started to publish posts and infographics on things like, Introduction to Bondage. I thought if curious men and women had the right information, they could safely venture into uncharted territories without ending up in the ER. Right?
Let’s skip ahead…
50 Shades Trilogy now available OnDemand… I sat down with a gynecologist specialist, who has been my long-time confidential source for Sexual Health. We discussed some incredibly disturbing stats. The increasing cases of women coming into her office with serious sexual trauma that was encountered during consensual sex is staggering. ‘Smash, pound, break or tear up’ have all been used as synonyms for sex, but these words should never be taken literal. Women have resulted in being beaten, strangled, scratched, bitten, torn, etc. all with the intent of having enjoyable, agreed-upon sex.
Whether it was called making love, a booty-call or simply a good-time, at some point the objective of pleasurable sex went terribly wrong amidst intercourse. External and internal injuries were obtained. Short-term and long-term damages were done physically as well as emotionally. And sadly, the culprit of it all stems from some undereducated partner acting out some over ambitious fantasy and chalking it up to having a good ‘fuck’. Let me break it to you, there’s nothing good about this kind of intimacy. The reason I can openly say ‘under-educated’ is simple, and this might come as a shock to some, but the fact is life is not a porno.
Here’s a quick history lesson…
Pornography was originally created, many moons ago, to be an educational tool for husbands and wives to have better sex lives, but quickly shifted into the world of entertainment. Professional studio-created porn was, and still is, acting. A tap can appear like a slap and what looks like a bite is actually a brush of the teeth, all in hopes to heighten the visual allure. And yes, many individuals find the thought of shedding the stink of their own dull, boring, or routine sex lives very appealing. There is a multi-billion-dollar industry that is banking on the fact that you and your partner are ready to take it up a notch in the bedroom.
There are plenty of toys, gadgets, videos and clothing that can help bolster a couple going through a dry spell. Judge-free, if that is for you and your mate. My only advice, understand how it works. Just because you see a pilot fly a plane, doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it. Be sure to do your research on safety, including proper hygiene. And please, only proceed when you know that you and your partner are both on the same page.
Crossing the line…
a very thin line detecting pleasure between pain when it comes to the receptors
in the brain. Even though, there is an incredible difference from the mind
wanting to do that again, or saying, WARNING: Never Again!
you are making someone bleed or say ‘ouch’ during one of the most intimate and
vulnerable moments of your lives, you are doing something really wrong!
I need you to hear this loud and clear: if you are allowing your partner to
cause more pain than pleasure or they are provoking any kind of damage to your
cervix, all in the name of a ‘good-time’, you, too, are doing it wrong!
past week, several newly-released comedies have referred to rough sex and strangulation
as the new normal. This action should not be perceived as the standard in
exploring one another. I’m not criticizing lovers that prefer some titillating
practices. I’m only suggesting you and your partner cultivate a sexual experience
you can both enjoy. Sex is about trust, and like as with anything else in life,
trust builds over time.
There’s a sad truth in which society wants to
take love out of the bedroom and replace it with carnal desires. Not everyone
agrees with this trend. However, if you do agree – fantastic! If that’s your
kind of thing. But don’t remove compassion and call it passion. I think being
adventurous in between the sheets is absolutely healthy, especially when you
and your partner have taken all the proper precautions. Including, and I can’t
stress this enough, you must both be ready and willing!
thumb: if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then you probably shouldn’t be
doing it to your partner unless they request it, and vice versa.
All that being said…
Sexual injuries caused by a consensual sex partner are climbing at an appalling and unpredictable rate. In these such cases, women are on the verge of appearing assaulted. There is no demographical or stereotypical pattern. These are upstanding, strong, educated women. These inflicted injuries have affected a range of individuals who have just met their partner to lovers, who have been ‘experimenting’ within a committed, long-term relationship. The age ranges fluctuate, too. But the one thing that all these cases have in common is the injured party, who is left feeling confused, ashamed and violated. This kind of practice bares some questions.
Is this sexual assault? No. Okay, well then is this consensual? Not exactly. Don’t get hysterical by my choice of words. There is a HUGE difference between someone being forced to do something beyond their will and someone that voluntarily took part in an intimate experience. None-the-less, most of these injured women experienced many moments of pleasure coupled with veins of sheer terror. Hence why, the aftermath takes such a physical and emotional toll. This area is the only shade of this Grey we should be focusing on and fix it before it ruins lives and reputations. No one is saying the individuals in these cases are ready to march in the #metoo movement. But no one, and I mean no one, should be physically hurt or humiliated while partaking in close human contact.
stand up for one another, on so many other important ‘body’ matters nowadays,
it is also time to stand up for intimacy. For women, …and men. And above all,
for the younger generations and the ‘human’ in all of us. Let’s not be fooled
here. Passing off pinned up sexual aggression or re-enacting what you might
have seen on the flat screen as the proper way to engage in a sexual
experience, while your partner isn’t enjoying themselves, is simply yucky!
If you are the dominate…
Please speak openly with your partner on your desires. Respect their boundaries. Have a safe word. And most of all, remember, no means no. Real life isn’t a movie and you are not Christian Grey, okay.
If you are the submissive…
Boldly voice your concerns. Bad choices can bring on regret, but regret doesn’t equal victim. So, don’t be shy to speak up if you aren’t enjoying yourself. If something hurts, tell your partner. And if things are getting out of control, try to smartly defuse the situation without causing confrontation, and do your best to get out of there. Don’t be a victim.
to my source, another thing that should be brought to light is the alarming
misuse of medications among the younger generations. Cocktails mixed with
erection-stimulating meds and/or steroid use in order to lengthen the sexual
experience is causing destressing, unwarranted aggression within the bedroom.
Using medications without doctor’s supervision can cause serious mental issues
like ‘roid-rage’ and/or physical, irrevocable damages to yourself and your
partner. There’s a strong possibility these concoctions are impairing the user
judgment and sensation, causing them to thrust or pounce with more aggression. And
because they’re numb, they are unaware of their vigor and the potential pain
they are inflicting. This combination only has the opportunity of ending in devastating
damage to both parties. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. It’s safer, smarter,
and honestly, more enjoyable to live out your fantasies one round at a time, no
matter how quick it is.
love and desire for your partner does, truthfully, enhance the fantasy world.
However, we all know hook-ups happen. Safety is the first thing to practice in
every sexual situation, starting with protection. Condoms and dental dams
really do reduce the chances of spreading nasty things. So, whether you’re a
man or a woman, if some sly one tells you, ‘It doesn’t feel as good with
protection’. Your only response should be, ‘But it feels so much better than no
Let’s clear up any misunderstandings…
This isn’t men vs. women’s primal desires. This is about achieving desires and not disasters. This isn’t a sexuality issue. This is a sex issue. This isn’t a generational problem. This is a lack-of-information problem. Sex shouldn’t leave someone physically damaged.
all you think you know about the red-room of pain, and have an honest and
colorful conversation about your sexual wants and needs. Don’t let any form of
entertainment give you a false assessment of what real intercourse should be.
We need to address this issue before things get out completely out of hand.
With so many sexual accusations flying around out there and people making laws
about what people can and can’t do with their bodies, this is one of those
situations that can cause a lot of future complications if not discussed and
handled maturely between partners.
At the risk of sounding 100 years-old, you need to understand your body is the most precious thing that you can share with another human being. According to recent surveys, monogamy is making a strong comeback in both heterosexual and LGBT circles. Fantasies are finding ways to becoming healthy realties. And protected sex is considered cool. So, let’s take all the trauma and the 50 Shades of ‘scary’ out of intimacy. Sex should be a beautiful thing. And exploration should feel good. Whether you like it or not, humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. And unlike the necessity it is within the animal kingdom, humans can choose to have sex for pleasure, love and closeness. So, do the rest of the mobile upright a favor, and stop taking yourself and others for granted.
Sleeping with someone for the first time can often be a very daunting event. Having only known the person for a short time, it will be very hard to tell how they will want to go through something like this. Of course, though, the worst part about going to bed with someone for the first time is the prospect of embarrassment. To give you an idea of what goes into this, this post will be exploring some of the work which can be done to ensure that you don’t have to deal with shame when you find yourself swept up by the fun.
Keep It Clean
After a long day of walking around and having fun, most people will be in need of a little bit of a freshen up. This isn’t something you’ll always have time for, though, and this means looking for ways to keep yourself clean without having to take five in the bathroom. Websites like the Scary Mommy blog are great when you’re looking for advice in this area. It can be hard to talk to those around you about personal hygiene, but blogs don’t judge.
Dress To Impress
The clothing you wear says a lot about you, and is one of the earliest impressions someone will have when they meet you. Of course, though, when you’re going to bed, these garments will be coming off, and it will be the ones underneath which you’re most concerned about. There are loads of underwear options which are designed to be both pretty and comfortable, nowadays, and this means that you no longer have to choose.
There will always be aspects of your body which you feel worried about, even if you spend loads of time working on it. By simply being honest about this, you can find yourself in a great position, and the person you are with is likely to feel a whole lot more comfortable, as a result. Of course, there are some things which you won’t want to talk about. If you’re worried about something superficial, though, like hair or scars, you don’t have much to worry about.
Do Your Part
This sort of experience can be embarrassing for anyone; not just you. This means that your partner is also likely to be a little worried about your potential reaction to their body, and this is something worth considering. Even if something takes you by surprise, you should work hard to make as little of it as possible, as this will help to keep both parties happy. There is nothing worse than having someone look shocked or amused when they see you naked.
With all of this in mind, you should be feeling ready to take control of the time you spend with others in bed. Feeling embarrassed should never be a part of spending time with someone else like this, thought a lot of people find themselves experiencing it. If you need more help with this, it could be worth talking to a sex expert, as this field can get very complex.
Vaginal discharge is a source of concern for many women out there but this need not be the case. There is normal vaginal discharge and what can be considered to be an infection. In this article we take a look at the different types of vaginal discharge that most women usually experience and their different meanings.
What is vaginal discharge?
It is the fluid which exists from the vaginal opening of a woman. Vaginal discharge reflects the body’s normal cleansing process, women should be aware of the fact that the amount of vaginal discharge also varies among different women. This may also be dependent on women’s menstrual cycle.
At the end of this article you will get acquainted with the various types of vaginal discharge and be able to differentiate what is normal and what is not.
Most women usually get worried when they notice thick white discharge because they take to be a sign of something seriously wrong with their bodies. According to health professionals, the thick white discharge should not be a cause for alarm if it is odorless. Most women will experience thick white discharge as their menstrual cycle progresses. The degree of thickness will vary from one woman to the next and also depend on whether there is pregnancy or not.
Thick white discharge and pregnancy
During pregnancy women usually undergo lots of changes and most of them will see an increase in the discharge that comes from their birth canals. Experts however advise that during pregnancy thick white discharge remains a perfectly normal experience. During the early stages of pregnancy, most women will experience a thick, white and creamy discharge. This shouldn’t be a concern although going to see a gynecologist just to be sure is not a bad idea. In fact, during pregnancy if you notice anything that is not normal it is better to see a doctor finding out what the problem may be.
During the early stages of pregnancy the vagina usually works extra in order to create more discharge. This is usually in an attempt to help keep the cervix moist, healthy and well sealed. What makes the discharge sometimes to come out in large quantities is the body’s temperature. The body’s temperature works to melt the thick creamy discharge making it lighter and thus more in volume.
During the third trimester of pregnancy some women will still experience thick discharge. Experts advise that as long as the discharge remains white or clear and is devoid of smell, it is likely that it is just normal.
The bottom line however is that thick white discharge is just perfectly normal, and all a woman needs to do is to keep clean at all times. The panties need to be regularly washed and dried thoroughly to remove any moisture on them before they are worn. Wearing moist panties may be a source of an infection for the woman.
Thick white discharge before period
It is normal for a woman to experience thick white discharge before her period. This discharge remains part of a normal process at the onset and the end of a woman’s menstrual cycle. A woman’s vagina usually produces lots of mucus before menstruation than after menstruation. It is important to note that the discharge that you will notice at this time may be elastic or watery.
At every end of your cycle, before your menstruation begins, you may also see some thick white discharge coming out of your vagina. This should not concern you as it normal as long as you don’t experience any form of itching or odor coming out of your vagina. The color of the discharge must also be white and not colored or brown for it to be a normal kind of discharge.
Thick white discharge after making love
Most women out there have been alarmed with the white discharge they see after they have had unprotected sex with their partners. While discharge that oozes out of a vagina after sex should be carefully examined bust in most cases it is usually just normal. Here below are the reasons why you will see white discharge from your vagina after sex:
– Lubrication of the vagina; with sexual arousal, a woman’s vagina will produce white liquid that helps with lubricating the vagina to make the sexual experience seamless. The lubrication that the vagina produces in most cases is just watery, clear or white in color. In some women even after sex, their vaginas may still continue discharging the lubricating fluid.
– Mucus from the cervix; a woman’s cervix usually produces mucus during varied stages of the menstrual cycle. Basically, the function of the mucus is usually to help the sperm have a good environment to make its way to meet the egg and fertilize it. Now, depending on the current stage of your menstrual cycle, you may be able to see thick dry mucus-like discharge oozing from your vagina after sex. It is a sign that you are at the end of your cycle. Mucus that is clear stretchy and milky that is appearing after you have had sex is an indication that you are ovulating. It is during this time that you ought to be extra cautious if you don’t wish to conceive, please to use a condom during sex.
White milky discharge
Ever experienced white milky discharge? You need not worry about this as this can just be perfectly normal. Many women will experience this type of discharge when they are ovulating. During ovulation most women will experience a thick white milky discharge that is stretchy but that which is odorless.
During early pregnancy the discharge can appear to be creamy and this may just be an early sign of you conceiving a baby! Experts refer to this as leucorrhea and it mostly odorless or can sometimes by with a slight odor that is not strong.
The bottom line
Experiencing thick white discharge is a normal process for most women and it shouldn’t cause alarm to them. However, when the discharge appears to be clumpy and has a foul odor that is unpleasant you should consider seeing a gynecologist right away. This may be a sign of an infection that if left untreated may cause something else that could be serious!
JOJO Yang is a writer from Check Pregnancy, her passion is providing helpful information for mommy and baby’s health. More than just focus on basic knowledge about health, this website also focuses on how to establish a good parent-child relationship. You can also some find fun reviews and topics, just visit Check Pregnancy to see more.