Tag Archives: relationship suffering

Can A Marriage Ever Be The Same After It Gets Personal?

Can A Marriage Ever Be The Same After It Gets Personal?

Marriages are supposed to be rock solid, at least in principle. The two people involved have to be able to throw verbal shots at each other and in the end, it’s all just in fun or positive critique. This is for things like, when your spouse is getting a little overweight and you have to say something otherwise you won’t be attractive to them anymore. It’s the same for when you are acting like a jerk at a party, and your spouse needs to remind you to behave. Things like this should always fall into the realm of ‘safe’ critique. But when things get personal, this can lead to the end of the road. 

When your work is mocked

Perhaps more so for women in the modern age than men, when your job or profession is mocked by your spouse, it can tear a rift between you. Women and men are very sensitive about their work, and the only kind of words they want from their wife or husband are supportive. When your spouse starts to mock your working hours, how dedicated you are, how much time you spend doing work at home, this can lead to big differences.

Imagine being so passionate about something that you dedicate your life to it, and then, your wife starts to make it seem like what you do is unimportant. Or how about when you have gotten a big promotion that you have dreamed of, and your husband says ‘you love your job more than the marriage’? This is something that cannot be taken any other way, other than personal. Don’t do this if you want to have a nice marriage!

pixabay

When violence is involved

This next one is pretty easy to understand, yet difficult to pick up when it’s you in the middle. It’s normal to sort of hit each other, but in a playful or nonchalant want. When your husband just won’t pick his feet up so you can vacuum under the table, then you can give him a little pinch on his feet or leg. That’s normal. But, when you are pinched really hard for not doing something they wanted, such as at parties or while out in public. This is abuse.

When it gets worse and you are being punched, kicked, scratched or otherwise, then you should consider calling Divorce Lawyers. They will build up a case of the pressure you have been under and make any family court judge consider you when it comes to child custody. If you want to consider child support, then call up the lawyers and ask them what they could do for you. 

Constant nitpicking

When your partner is constantly dragging you down on your appearance, this is either something you should take for a complaint, or something personal. It depends on how many times they do this. If you know you’re overweight, then consider losing weight. But when you are doing great, keeping fit and taking care of yourself but they are still nitpicking, this is something that is personal and beyond what a lover should do.

Marriage is never something to be taken for granted and when things get personal, it can often spell the end. So avoid doing these things, or spot them when they are happening to you.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

What To Do If You Suspect You’re Being Cheated On

What To Do If You Suspect You’re Being Cheated On

Credit – CC0 License

Nobody wants to be in a position where you think you’re being cheated on. It’s horrible because you feel like you’re paranoid, but all of the signs are there. Your partner spends hours away from you with no contact whatsoever – not even a message. They seem very panicked and twitchy when you walk by them, and they’re on their phone. No doubt you’ve seen many quick closes of WhatsApp or Snapchat when you’re around them!

None of the signs are good, so what do you do when you suspect you’re being cheated on? Realistically, there are only a handful of things you can do:

Ask your friends for advice

Speak to your friends and ask them if they think you’re being crazy or not. They may see all of your evidence and suggest that you have a genuine thing to worry about. As a result, they might help you uncover the truth behind all of the lies. Perhaps they will try to follow your partner when they go out, seeing where they go. Or, they could talk directly to your partner to see how they feel about your relationship. This works best when you have mutual friends that both of you talk to a lot. At the very least, your friends can provide support if you need it. 

Consider taking more drastic measures

The problem with this situation is that you may have to take some slightly unethical measures. Well, they’re only unethical if your suspicions are incorrect. You could hire a private investigator or a Snapchat hacker to get to the bottom of things and look in on what your partner is doing. This will help you see things that you’d otherwise be unable to see. If anything, ideas like this will guarantee that you find the truth. It’s a terrible situation because if everything checks out and they weren’t cheating, you feel awful. Do you have to tell your partner what you’ve done? You could argue that their dodgy behaviour warranted this, but it’s a tough debate to have with yourself. Regardless, you should only jump to this step if you are very confident that something is going on, and you need proof before making a confrontation. 

Speak to your partner

Ultimately, this is the best thing you can do. Okay, it’s not the best, but it’s a step you can’t avoid. You must confront your partner with your suspicions and lay all of the evidence before them. This way, you can show them why you’ve been suspicious. Even if you’re wrong, the evidence you present should be enough to make them understand why you thought this way. As such, they can’t be annoyed at you if they haven’t done anything wrong. Sadly, in situations like this, your intuition is normally correct, and they have been unfaithful. 
Like I said, this is a part of a relationship nobody wants to go through. Cheating is wrong on so many levels, and there are various reasons people do it. Don’t jump to conclusions; spend time monitoring your partner’s behaviour and collecting evidence before you confront them. Then, it’s up to you to decide what happens next.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Ideas For Socially Distance Dating

Ideas For Socially Distance Dating

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

For those single people looking for love, the COVID-19 pandemic has thrown a spanner in the works for the usual dating dynamic. 

Even for a generation used to finding dates through apps and online dating platforms, the ability to then take the next step, and get to know our potential partners has been taken away. It can make those first few dates potentially very awkward. The usual way of building and showing connection and attraction are no longer possible. There are still many options for meeting people online including video dating, dating lines for lesbian and gay community and a range of free dating sites aimed at those who are single during these strange times. 

For some people, social distancing can actually benefit them on those first few dates. If you’re a particularly shy person, or are worried about any expectations of physical intimacy during a date, then having to remain socially distant can relieve the weight of expectation, allowing you to be yourself and connect on a social and intellectual level. 

Over the first stages of courtship have been taking place over video chat or virtual dates but when it’s time to finally meet, how can you plan your date while still respecting social distancing rules?

It’s time to get creative in planning your dates. 

Try a sport

If you and your date are the sporty type, then there are a few creative options for an ‘active’ date. Tennis, ping pong, outdoor bowling or badminton are all great options and can all be played outdoors. Not only will you be able to observe social distancing and see how competitive your date is. 

City Walking Tour

If you both live in or near a big city, then a walking tour can be an ideal way to get to know each other while discovering more about the place that you live. You’d be amazed how much you’ve never noticed before and the tour element will mean that you always have something to talk about. 

City centres are much less busy at the moment so keeping your distance is much easier. 

While walking is a great idea for a date, keep to busier or populated areas for safety reasons when meeting someone new. 

A Picnic

Food and dates have always gone together perfectly. A romantic outdoor picnic in a park can give you that same emotional connection while still maintaining a safe distance. It will give you a chance to show off any culinary skills. 

Who knows how long the dating landscape is likely to be affected by COVID-19 legislation. Many people experienced loneliness and disconnection throughout lockdown, so maintaining social connections is a great way to combat those effects. 

Always follow your state and national guidelines for the latest health advice on COVID-19 and ensure that you’re following those guidelines. 

If your date turns into something more, then you’ll always have an interesting story to tell about how you fell in love. 

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Relationship on the Rocks: Should You Stay or Should You Go?

Relationship on the Rocks: Should You Stay or Should You Go?

Image: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-and-man-sitting-on-brown-wooden-bench-984949/

Love is wonderful, but it’s not always easy. Relationships can be hard work, if you’re struggling with yours, here are three questions to ask yourself before throwing in the towel.

Has the argument/ issue only just cropped up?

If the problem in the relationship is new, then instead of throwing in the towel and running for the hills- give yourself some time. Think about things from your partners perspective, have some space if you need it and then come together and talk. Even if it feels serious at the time, it could well be something that you’re able to resolve together. The only exceptions here are infidelity and abuse, if the issue involves either of these then you’re best bet is almost always to leave. But many other problems can be worked out, and you can go on to be happy together again. If the argument is ongoing, and seems to be one of the main topics you bicker and row about then this can be a sign that you’re unable to get past it and might be a cue to speak to divorce lawyers. Ongoing arguments about the same things over and over is the signal of an unhealthy relationship as it shows you’re not able to resolve your problems, meaning they’ll keep on coming back around. 

Do you need to work on yourself?

In relationships, it’s easy to blame the other person when things start going wrong or arguments occur. But take a step back and think objectively. Are there things you’re doing which make the situation worse? Maybe you’re controlling and jealous without even realising, and your partners outbursts are actually due to frustration and retaliation. Many of us paint ourselves as the victim in relationships and certain situations when it’s not always the case. Be mature enough to own up to your behaviour and figure out what you could be doing wrong. In many cases, issues in relationships are a result of both of your actions and not just one. It’s not to say you should blame yourself or make excuses for your partner’s bad behaviour- but do acknowledge if you have a part to play. Once you’re aware of this you’re able to take steps to stop and perhaps have a much happier relationship.

Have you considered therapy?

Relationships can get really messy, when you love your partner and a lot has gone on in the past and your feelings are all over the place it can be hard to communicate effectively. For this reason it’s well worth visiting a relationship therapist before you decide to call it quits. Sometimes, just being able to communicate your message in an environment where your partner has to listen to you, and vice versa is all you need. A therapist can give you tips on how to resolve arguments and speak to each other more clearly too to avoid future issues. 

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Keeping An Even Keel During A Divorce

Keeping An Even Keel During A Divorce

The end of a marriage is an emotionally turbulent time, to say the very least. It can feel like your life is getting turned upside down and it can be hard to keep hold of yourself without stress tearing you in a bunch of different directions. However, it’s not impossible to get through it in one piece.

Pic Source – Pixabay License

Don’t sacrifice long-term happiness for short-term goals

If you’re feeling hurt during a divorce, it’s easy to want to hurt your ex-partner back. Sometimes, the ways that you hurt them might also hurt people close to you, such as your friends or children. You may force people to pick sides and end up jeopardizing your own relationships. Try to manage your priorities and think about where you’re going to be after the divorce, not just in the immediate future. The urge to seek revenge or some sort of compensation can be very strong, indeed, but you shouldn’t put it above your needs for a healthy and happy life past the divorce.

If you can, keep things civil

Emotions might be running high, but unless one partner is fully at fault for the divorce, such as in the result on infidelity, you should try to keep those emotions out of the actual legal process. For instance, instance of taking them to court, you could look for divorce mediation in your area. The urge to make things combative and to get yours might be strong, but you should take the time to think about what you want not just for yourself after the divorce, but what you really want for your ex-partner. Is hurting them more important than protecting everyone involved?

Handle your children with care

Arguing over the kids as a couple is going to strain everyone’s familial relationships. Unless your ex-partner is genuinely a threat to your children, you should hope that everyone has a better relationship after the divorce. As such, let a lawyer for child custody take care of the legal battle surrounding the children. Most importantly, try to explain to your children what is happening without trying to win them over to your side. Weaponizing your kids during a divorce is literally the worst thing you can do for your relationship and their emotional health.

Anticipate the worst

You’re going to be dealing with some ugly emotions and you might not only hate your ex-partner at times, you might find some self-hatred in there. Managing your divorce as best as possible can help you move on from those feelings, but you should also expect anger from your ex.If you’re not prepared for their own negative reactions, you can find yourself getting caught off guard and being dragged into an unhealthy back and forth. Knowing what to expect can help you simply abide it and keep working for a healthier conclusion.

It’s important to make sure you get legal help where you need, emotional support when you need, and to not mix up the divorce with your relationships with children and friends. Think not just about the divorce, but about what comes after, as well.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

When Outside Help Is Necessary In A Relationship

When Outside Help Is Necessary In A Relationship

Image – CCO Licence

In many cases, a lot of relationships can become strange experiences which are separate from the rest of the world. You can easily end up living in a kind of bubble together, and – while that can be nice – it can also be quite dangerous or damaging. Before you know it, you are too codependent, and you find that there is no room to breathe. There is a balance to be found here, and it is symbolized in the fact that such relationships will generally then need to seek out some outside help for their relationship to work as well as possible. In this article, we will look at some of the occasions when that outside help is going to be helpful in a relationship, and might be worth considering.

For Therapy

Sometimes, you will need therapy. That could be because something is going wrong, or one of you is unhappy without knowing why, or it might be that something huge has happened which has affected you both and therefore the relationship itself. If you feel that therapy is needed, then you should allow each other the space to engage with that – and if it is couples’ therapy you are looking for, then it is especially important to do so, and particularly to find a therapist that you can both be happy with. When therapy is needed in a relationship, it is important to seek it out, and to allow some time for things to settle as you do so. It could be the best thing you ever did as a couple.

After Separation

Even once you have separated from a person, there can often be the need for some outside assistance to make things a little easier. That will generally be because there is some kind of disagreement surrounding the terms of the separation, and that can be something that really gets in the way. If you have children, for instance, you might need to seek out an experienced family lawyer to help you work through your visitation and so on, so that is something to be aware of. Even after separation this kind of outside help can be really helpful, and in fact most couples need that more at this time than at any other time while they were together.

When Space Is Needed

Sometimes, people in a relationship just need space from each other. The truth is that this is a perfectly ordinary and healthy thing to need, and it is important to make sure that you can allow it for each other. But if you are struggling to do that, you might want to seek out the help of a good friend, even if it is a mutual friend, who can likely offer some advice and assistance. They might even be able to help by offering a place to stay for a while, should that be necessary. As you can see, there are many ways in which such a person might help, should this become important.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

You Don’t See These Relationship Problems Coming!

You Don’t See These Relationship Problems Coming!

Being in a relationship is always going to cause some issues. It’s impossible to be in a relationship that’s functioning well for such a long period of time, it just doesn’t exist. Once you get through that honeymoon phase period, everything just seems to settle down, and the magical period that you created for yourself melts away, and the argument start to come in. The arguments come in because you’re both so much more comfortable around each other, and it’s so easy to pick up on all of the things that you might have been turning a blind eye to before. All of the sudden the quirks that you used to think were cute, you hate the thought of. And when you start to spend so much time around someone, you start to notice all of the things that might irritate you about them. So, we’re going to try and prepare you for some of the things you might not see coming in a relationship, and how to deal with them. Because you really do want to make sure that you’re either fighting for, or running from your relationship, rather than letting one drag on when it shouldn’t do!

Image Source

Problems In The Bedroom

It’s often a very secretive place, the bedroom, but there are problems that are being spoken about during office gossip that seem to be becoming more prominent. In an ideal world, everything in the bedroom would be perfectly ok, all of the time. But some women are experiencing problems with their partner, such as pornography addiction. Some men have such a big problem with this, and you won’t notice it until it starts to affect your own love life, which might be once you do get a little bit more comfortable with each other, and the intense passion starts to die down. If you think you’re dealing with this problem, simply sensitively talk to your partner about it, and be open and honest. Communication can save so many relationships, even if you might be a little embarrassed to talk about it to begin with!

Secret Money Problems

It’s not like there’s an interview process when you find yourself in a relationship, and it won’t be that you find out absolutely everything about them, they will try and hide certain things. One of those things would definitely be money problems, and it won’t be until you find yourself paying for more, or listening to them talk about their struggle to afford things, that it might click in your head that something is wrong. So again, try and get them to talk to a financial advisor, and try and help them work through it. The more you’re there for support, the stronger your relationship is going to grow!

Family Dramas

When you get into a relationship, you really do get into a relationship with their family as well, and it might not always be the best affair. So always make sure you’re trying to make an effort to bond with their family, because it might be that they think you’re taking your partner away from them, and simple effort with them could solve all of that!

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Self-Care During Divorce

Self-Care During Divorce

Image via Pexels

Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. The world you knew is crumbling around you, while there are all kinds of legal and financial things that need to be dealt with. Having a good lawyer can help to put your mind at rest, at least where the legal side is concerned. Mediation services like Buncombe mediation can also help to take the stress off.

But what about the emotional side of divorce? While all of the technicalities are getting dealt with, it’s critical to take time for self-care and reflection. Everyone’s divorce situation is unique and each of us handles these challenges differently. If you’re feeling down, stressed or tense due to divorce, spending time to care for yourself will leave you much better off in the long run.

Talking it through

Help make this messy process easier to cope with by understanding some of the mental effects of divorce. It’s totally understandable for you to feel sad, angry, depressed, lost or any other combination of emotions right now. Give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Don’t be tempted to hide your emotions away or suppress them with drink, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Instead, turn to friends, family, or specially trained professionals who can help you to navigate your way through this maze of tangled emotions. It can help to tell friends and family exactly how you’d like to be supported, as these times can be hard for them to navigate, too. Let them know what will help you.

Remember if you feel that the divorce is affecting your mental health, it’s important to speak to a therapist who can help you to cope. There may be support groups you can go to where you can share exactly how you’re feeling with people who are going through the same thing.

Going easy on yourself

You might be finding it hard to concentrate on other things or spending a lot of time going over the situation in your head. You may even be feeling guilty or having negative thoughts about yourself. It’s natural to feel this way when you’re going through emotional challenges, but try to be kind to yourself.

Practicing self-compassion or mindfulness techniques can help you to see things from a different perspective. You could boost your self-confidence by writing a list of all of the things that you like about yourself or any compliments you’ve received that have stuck with you. Gratitude journals can also be a great way of maintaining a positive outlook, as it can help you to see the little things worth celebrating despite the heartache you’re going through.

Exercising

It’s no secret that exercise is great for mental health and overall wellbeing. Your self-esteem and confidence might have taken a dive during this time. It’s natural to want to hide away when you feel stressed or down. But you can boost your endorphins and your self-image by making time for exercise you enjoy. This could be a challenge you set yourself to take your mind off things. Alternatively, you could take up a new sport or activity that you’ve always wanted to try. Having a sense of excitement and accomplishment could give you a little boost when things seem hopeless and remind you there are new things on the horizon.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

3 Tips for Avoiding Pain and Heartache in Your Romantic Life

3 Tips for Avoiding Pain and Heartache in Your Romantic Life

Image via Pixabay

There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.

Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.

There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.

Realise that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love — love is something you discover and build over time

A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.

It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.

It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.

Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.

Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.

Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything

They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.

If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.

Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.

Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act

We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.

In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.

But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.

Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.


Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Time to See a Psychologist: When You Feel Like You’re Growing Apart

Time to See a Psychologist: When You Feel Like You’re Growing Apart


Relationships are about growth. You meet, fall in love, and start a life together. It takes time a patience to build a lasting relationship. However, even in the strongest of relationships, everyone has moments of getting weary.

The honeymoon phase is over


It’s a fictitious timeframe when couples stop being on their best behaviors and get real. This is usually the time when the first heated augments occur. This is the time when you might realize your partner’s annoying habits like leaving the toilet seat up all the time. This might be the time you decide not to wear the most alluring under-garments all the time.

Some people dread the idea of the honeymoon phase coming to an end, but this is really the time when couples make it or break it. It’s a lot smoother of a transition if you decide to be real with your partner early on in the relationship.

Seven year stretch


Your relationship had withstood some time and before you realize, you’ve made it to your 7th anniversary. The seven year stretch sounds like fake news, but scientific studies have shown this phase is real for humans. It’s been proven that whether in a relationship or single, people go through a transition every seven years. As couples hit seven years together, it’s a good time to recognize the growth you’ve done as an individual and as a couple. This is the time to set new goals, maintain togetherness, and cultivate the areas in yourself, your partner, and the parts of the relationship that need a little extra TLC.

Prevent Falling Apart


There’s no guarantee or magic that is fireproof nowadays. People grow at different rates, and there are plenty of distractions out there to pull you away from your partner. However, making a conscious choice to remain focused in your relationship is key. Self-control is the only thing you need to be concerned with. You can’t control your partner, nor should you want to. Having a partner is having a mate who can be your equal, or the yin to your yang.

You might not see eye to eye on everything like you once did, but compromise has gotten you two far in your relationship. Like people take vitamins to prevent sickness, why not invest in marriage counseling before there’s a major problem? Talking to a qualified psychologist to help you two through simple disagreements could perhaps prevent big problems down the line.

Remember every flower grows at different rates. So don’t give up on your partner if they are growing in a different direction or at a different speed. It’s just a sign for you to get to pruning and watering your relationship. I love the quote by Neil Barringham, ‘The grass is greener where you water it’.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram