Moving In With Your Partner: Tips To Make It Easier On Both Of You
For many couples, a significant step in their relationship is when they decide to move in together. A lot of people who have been there and done it before are going to warn you that this is one of the most challenging but exciting times in your relationship. The chances are, if you have got to that point, you are going to do it anyway. After all, what is the worst that could happen?
We can tell you now that no matter how much you love someone and how well you think you will fit together, moving in with each other and learning to share a space, compromise on things, and live with each other’s bad habits can cause some tension. To try to keep things as easy and positive as possible, we share some tips on moving in with your partner.
For most couples, moving in together means losing some space, and that means that your shoe collection to rival Carrie Bradshaws might just need cutting down, or his Star Wars Lego collection might just need shelving – permanently. It is a good opportunity to declutter and get rid of anything that you no longer need or use. It also makes it easier, and cheaper, for your moving services.
In terms of emotionally letting things go – there are going to be things that your partner does that annoy you. Perhaps they leave the lid off the toothpaste or plump the cushions up on the couch when they get up. You need to challenge any big issues but some things, you just have to learn to let go of. As the saying goes, pick your battles. Some are just not worth fighting.
Consider buying versus renting
There are some significant advantages and disadvantages to each of these and it is wise to weigh them up before diving in. While buying a home together gives you much more stability and ownership than renting, it is also a huge financial commitment. Renting is much easier to deal with if you were to separate, although you are not getting the advantage of owning your own property.
Make sure you both have space
When you live together, it can be very easy to fall into the trap of living in each other’s pockets, spending every waking – and sleeping – moment together. That worlds for some couples, but most will benefit from having a little time and space on their own. Do not ditch your friends and hobbies – this gives you valuable time to be your own person.
Divide chores and responsibilities up before you move in
Before you take the step of moving in together, make sure you sort out and talk through who is responsible for what, so that chores and responsibilities are shared evenly. One person being responsible for everything can cause tension and arguments, so it is better to sort it out well before it hits that point.
Nobody wants to be in a position where you think you’re being cheated on. It’s horrible because you feel like you’re paranoid, but all of the signs are there. Your partner spends hours away from you with no contact whatsoever – not even a message. They seem very panicked and twitchy when you walk by them, and they’re on their phone. No doubt you’ve seen many quick closes of WhatsApp or Snapchat when you’re around them!
None of the signs are good, so what do you do when you suspect you’re being cheated on? Realistically, there are only a handful of things you can do:
Ask your friends for advice
Speak to your friends and ask them if they think you’re being crazy or not. They may see all of your evidence and suggest that you have a genuine thing to worry about. As a result, they might help you uncover the truth behind all of the lies. Perhaps they will try to follow your partner when they go out, seeing where they go. Or, they could talk directly to your partner to see how they feel about your relationship. This works best when you have mutual friends that both of you talk to a lot. At the very least, your friends can provide support if you need it.
Consider taking more drastic measures
The problem with this situation is that you may have to take some slightly unethical measures. Well, they’re only unethical if your suspicions are incorrect. You could hire a private investigator or a Snapchat hacker to get to the bottom of things and look in on what your partner is doing. This will help you see things that you’d otherwise be unable to see. If anything, ideas like this will guarantee that you find the truth. It’s a terrible situation because if everything checks out and they weren’t cheating, you feel awful. Do you have to tell your partner what you’ve done? You could argue that their dodgy behaviour warranted this, but it’s a tough debate to have with yourself. Regardless, you should only jump to this step if you are very confident that something is going on, and you need proof before making a confrontation.
Speak to your partner
Ultimately, this is the best thing you can do. Okay, it’s not the best, but it’s a step you can’t avoid. You must confront your partner with your suspicions and lay all of the evidence before them. This way, you can show them why you’ve been suspicious. Even if you’re wrong, the evidence you present should be enough to make them understand why you thought this way. As such, they can’t be annoyed at you if they haven’t done anything wrong. Sadly, in situations like this, your intuition is normally correct, and they have been unfaithful. Like I said, this is a part of a relationship nobody wants to go through. Cheating is wrong on so many levels, and there are various reasons people do it. Don’t jump to conclusions; spend time monitoring your partner’s behaviour and collecting evidence before you confront them. Then, it’s up to you to decide what happens next.
For those single people looking for love, the COVID-19 pandemic has thrown a spanner in the works for the usual dating dynamic.
Even for a generation used to finding dates through apps and online dating platforms, the ability to then take the next step, and get to know our potential partners has been taken away. It can make those first few dates potentially very awkward. The usual way of building and showing connection and attraction are no longer possible. There are still many options for meeting people online including video dating, dating lines for lesbian and gay community and a range of free dating sites aimed at those who are single during these strange times.
For some people, social distancing can actually benefit them on those first few dates. If you’re a particularly shy person, or are worried about any expectations of physical intimacy during a date, then having to remain socially distant can relieve the weight of expectation, allowing you to be yourself and connect on a social and intellectual level.
Over the first stages of courtship have been taking place over video chat or virtual dates but when it’s time to finally meet, how can you plan your date while still respecting social distancing rules?
It’s time to get creative in planning your dates.
Try a sport
If you and your date are the sporty type, then there are a few creative options for an ‘active’ date. Tennis, ping pong, outdoor bowling or badminton are all great options and can all be played outdoors. Not only will you be able to observe social distancing and see how competitive your date is.
City Walking Tour
If you both live in or near a big city, then a walking tour can be an ideal way to get to know each other while discovering more about the place that you live. You’d be amazed how much you’ve never noticed before and the tour element will mean that you always have something to talk about.
City centres are much less busy at the moment so keeping your distance is much easier.
While walking is a great idea for a date, keep to busier or populated areas for safety reasons when meeting someone new.
Food and dates have always gone together perfectly. A romantic outdoor picnic in a park can give you that same emotional connection while still maintaining a safe distance. It will give you a chance to show off any culinary skills.
Who knows how long the dating landscape is likely to be affected by COVID-19 legislation. Many people experienced loneliness and disconnection throughout lockdown, so maintaining social connections is a great way to combat those effects.
Always follow your state and national guidelines for the latest health advice on COVID-19 and ensure that you’re following those guidelines.
If your date turns into something more, then you’ll always have an interesting story to tell about how you fell in love.
Love is wonderful, but it’s not always easy. Relationships can be hard work, if you’re struggling with yours, here are three questions to ask yourself before throwing in the towel.
Has the argument/ issue only just cropped up?
If the problem in the relationship is new, then instead of throwing in the towel and running for the hills- give yourself some time. Think about things from your partners perspective, have some space if you need it and then come together and talk. Even if it feels serious at the time, it could well be something that you’re able to resolve together. The only exceptions here are infidelity and abuse, if the issue involves either of these then you’re best bet is almost always to leave. But many other problems can be worked out, and you can go on to be happy together again. If the argument is ongoing, and seems to be one of the main topics you bicker and row about then this can be a sign that you’re unable to get past it and might be a cue to speak to divorce lawyers. Ongoing arguments about the same things over and over is the signal of an unhealthy relationship as it shows you’re not able to resolve your problems, meaning they’ll keep on coming back around.
Do you need to work on yourself?
In relationships, it’s easy to blame the other person when things start going wrong or arguments occur. But take a step back and think objectively. Are there things you’re doing which make the situation worse? Maybe you’re controlling and jealous without even realising, and your partners outbursts are actually due to frustration and retaliation. Many of us paint ourselves as the victim in relationships and certain situations when it’s not always the case. Be mature enough to own up to your behaviour and figure out what you could be doing wrong. In many cases, issues in relationships are a result of both of your actions and not just one. It’s not to say you should blame yourself or make excuses for your partner’s bad behaviour- but do acknowledge if you have a part to play. Once you’re aware of this you’re able to take steps to stop and perhaps have a much happier relationship.
Have you considered therapy?
Relationships can get really messy, when you love your partner and a lot has gone on in the past and your feelings are all over the place it can be hard to communicate effectively. For this reason it’s well worth visiting a relationship therapist before you decide to call it quits. Sometimes, just being able to communicate your message in an environment where your partner has to listen to you, and vice versa is all you need. A therapist can give you tips on how to resolve arguments and speak to each other more clearly too to avoid future issues.
Take your culinary aphrodisiac adventures beyond oysters and chocolate-covered strawberries when it comes to romantic dinners. Below, we reveal more about aphrodisiac food and the different meals that you can create with these ingredients.
An ancient medicine used for centuries to reduce stress and cure impotence, ginseng is also legendary as a natural aphrodisiac. Ginseng helps to fight off fatigue and boosts stamina and is often found in Asian cuisine.
Garlic is another food with legendary status when it comes to its curative powers. Among its many purported properties is the ability to grant stamina and endurance. Consider a starter course with both garlic and cucumber, as the former is pungent, powerful, aromatic, as well as cucumber, which is also known for arousing aphrodisiac properties. Of course, you may want to avoid garlic on a first date! We must also stress the importance of choosing a restaurant with care for a first date. A lot of people use the likes of thechatlinenumbers.com to meet someone new, and so make sure you choose somewhere romantic yet also safe.
Abalone is known throughout the world for its rich and luxurious flavor, but in China it is also known for bringing good luck and acting as a powerful aphrodisiac.
Eggs of all varieties are legendary fertility symbols and considered by ancient peoples to hold mystical powers. As the king of eggs, caviar is one of the most luxurious and extravagant aphrodisiacs available.
In addition to being full of age-fighting antioxidants and natural vitamin E, asparagus also helps promote healthy hormone levels that can lead to an energetic sex life. This succulent spring vegetable helps your skin look and feel more youthful and promotes a healthy libido the natural way. Enjoy a refreshing vegetable dish with sautéed asparagus, water chestnut and gingko nuts for a healthy boost.
Sweet golden honey is one of the most romantic and sensual foods on the planet. The natural sugar in honey can give you a much needed pick me up in the middle of your meal and keep the dinner conversation flowing. Indulge all of your senses with luxurious barbecue prime Iberico pork with yellow mountain honey for an irresistibly seductive treat.
Cinnamon is yet another ancient spice with powerful medicinal properties and legendary rumors of its aphrodisiac properties. Consuming cinnamon produces actual heat in the body and is said to increase appetite, both physical and sexual. Finish your romantic dining experience with a spicy and elegant dessert. One suggestion we have is plum wine poached pear featuring the aphrodisiac candied ginger as well as cinnamon for a perfect and powerful sweet ending.
Romantic dining will never be the same now you know all about the best aphrodisiacs! From cinnamon to caviar, the options are well and truly varied. Which romantic meal will you go for when you are next dining out with your partner or a new date?
My Take on How the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Reveals Why Divorce is so Prevalent Today (Spoilers Season 3)
Season 4 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel has been confirmed! This however, is my personal take on Midge continuing to make poor decisions on her romantic life. *WARNING: There are spoilers of season 3 ahead.
We all love Midge Maisel. She’s smart, pretty and
witty as hell. However, no hat in the world can hide the fact that her love
life is a mess. She’s got her choice in fine looking men, of course. But her
decisions showcase what a lot of us do wrong today.
First, lets take a look at the ex-husband, Joel Maisel…
Joel is a hardworking man who steps up to take care of his kids. Kudos, Joel! There should be more of that in the world. But when we take a deeper look into Joel’s ability to love, that’s when things get little wonky. Joel was married to Midge, living the American Dream: A beautiful family, a fabulous apartment in the societies of NYC and he had an executive job. He also had a supporting wife, who not only encouraged him to proceed with his adoring hobby for comedy, but also provided briskets to make sure he got good time slots.
However, poor Joel is still missing something.
There’s a hole in him he can’t explain, so it must be Midget’s fault he doesn’t feel complete—We’ve all seen Jerry McGuire, right? So, like most humans, who are feeling worthless and choose to blame others for their lack of self-worth, Joel decides an affair with his secretary, Penny, will fill that void.
Spoiler alert, after leaving his family for Penny, Joel still has a hole and wants Midge back.
Joel is like so many people. He refuses to look inward
to discover what’s really missing. So, until he does that, Joel will continue
to be the guy who is always missing the ‘one who got away’. Don’t believe what
I’m saying? Look at my quick cliff notes of Season 3…
has a box of unclaimed lipstick next to his bed.
pines over missing Midge, even when he meets Mei.
starts dating Mei, but flies off to Vegas to be with his ‘true love’, Midge.
marries Midge again while dating Mei. The next morning, he tells Midge they’re
going to have to get a divorce because he’s got a girlfriend.
home, he and Mei break up, to where he is now free to be with his ‘wife’, his
true love, Midge. But instead, he tells Midge he and the kids can’t come to
Miami for the weekend. Then, Joel proceeds to walk downstairs into the
underground casino and give an awkward confession on how much he cares about Mei.
Yes, just like Susie said to Joel in Season 3, Joel will
always love Midge and will want to make sure she is taken care of. That is
undoubtedly true. He wants to make sure she and his kids don’t struggle in
life. But by the end of the season, Joel is practically cheating on both Midge
and Mei, if we’re getting technical.
Moral: It’s not you; it’s Joel.
If I had a PhD, I could totally get away with blaming
his behavior on something that happened to him as a child. I could hold
accountable Joel’s mother, Shirley, and her erratic behavior or negligent trust
issues, but since I’m not, I’ll just leave diagnosis to the professionals.
Here’s what we do know, Midge is Joel’s forever ‘one that got away’, but until
he can love himself, he has no business trying to be in a committed
Next, we will take a look at Lenny Bruce…
The sexual tension is high when it comes to Midge and that man. We’ve all been there. That’s why we all love Lenny so much. A sexy bad-boy type that draws you in and can make chemical reactions happen within your body. What’s completely unique and unusual about this type of guy is the fact that they can look unkept, un-showered and underachieving and still have this magnetic pull on you, …and half the population.
1. They have the talent to be abrasive, without being too cold.
2. They have enough sense to make you feel wanted for the night, but don’t get any other ideas, please.
3. They have perfected ‘love’em and leave’.
But every once in a blue moon… these primal creatures of habit, fall in love. Hence, Lenny Bruce appears to have fallen head over heels for our dear, Midge. And why shouldn’t he? She bailed him out of jail. She held his hand, twice, when he was filming those TV shows. Midge makes Lenny a better person. But I ask this question… what does Lenny do for Midge?
After seeing the responses trend on Twitter for Midge and Lenny to become the ‘it’ couple, I realized, so many hopeless romantics still believe they can be ‘the one to change him’. Or in this case, Midge can change Lenny.
Spoiler Alert: She can’t change him.
Only Lenny can change himself. Lenny is an inspiration to Midge in the sense of comedy. But here’s the hard truth… That’s probably it. What else can Lenny offer Midge but a good time and heartbreak? I may be speculating, but Lenny, also like Joel, is missing self-worth. He drinks like a fish, enjoys getting arrested and has no intentions of the white picket fence lifestyle. Plus, he hasn’t given Midge any other reasons to question that.
The moral: Lenny is a great guy; people like this usually are.
But it’s important for Midge to know herself. She likes expensive things and needs to be kept in a certain lifestyle. Expecting Lenny to be willing and able to keep up with her and her expectations is probably unfair of her. Lenny’s a one-of-a-kind, friend. He’s the type of guy that you will love completely from a distance, and perhaps, in a parallel universe, you could have possibly been together.
But if you look at it face value, it’s probably better to love from afar than to hate up close. Opposites do attract, but too opposite can cause division. I love Lenny. I know a handful of Lenny’s. But I will love them from where I stand because I know myself and know, maybe from experience, that I’m not the one who’s going to be able to change them.
And finally, Benjamin…
Every mother’s favorite man for their daughter to be with. But like most daughters, Midge doesn’t want him. Why? He’s good-looking, has no money issues and has a really great job. Well, this is where I suggest Midge needs to take a look at herself—Not because Benjamin looks good on paper, or because her parents liked him, but because she did.
And let’s not forget, Benjamin supported Midge with her career. He believes she’s amazing at what she does. He thinks she’s the funniest woman on earth. Besides Susie, Benjamin was one of her biggest fans. He didn’t mind being material for her comedy. But instead of talking to him about her worries of future resentment, Midge leaves him without the courtesy of a face to face conversation—Bad job, Midge.
As humans, things that are good for us, scare the living crap out of us. People are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. What if you found out, there is no shoe?
Spoiler alert: You’ve been worried about things, this whole time, and there was never a shoe that could possibly drop to begin with.
Yes, we all deserve better than what we’ve been aiming for when it comes to matters of the heart. Whether you’ve been married to your partner for decades or you’re still swiping to find your soulmate, this pertains to all of us. Like Benjamin, we deserve that person who will have the conversations with us, instead of predicting they already know how the conversation will go. We also deserve to be thatperson for someone else, as well—Some of us forget to look in the mirror sometimes when picking out other’s faults.
The lifelong question of ‘Does life imitate art or does art imitate life’
This question swirls in everyone’s mind, from time to time. But these hidden, or not so hidden, love-life issues showcased in the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel hit very close to the real factors that cause an increased number of divorces today. It’s not about her own personal women’s movement, or the climb to success and having to choose one thing or another… It’s about knowing who you are, having self-worth, having self-love, giving love, receiving love and communication.
Sure. It’s all very hard to do at first. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. And there would be no one with these impossible love-life issues. The only thing we can do as humans is keep trying to better ourselvesevery day. Practice makes perfect. So, why not? Go buy a hat or invest in some drop-less shoes. But while you’re doing that, take a look inside yourself and see what needs your attention. You can certainly do that while you wait for the next season of Mrs. Maisel.
In many cases, a lot of relationships can become strange experiences which are separate from the rest of the world. You can easily end up living in a kind of bubble together, and – while that can be nice – it can also be quite dangerous or damaging. Before you know it, you are too codependent, and you find that there is no room to breathe. There is a balance to be found here, and it is symbolized in the fact that such relationships will generally then need to seek out some outside help for their relationship to work as well as possible. In this article, we will look at some of the occasions when that outside help is going to be helpful in a relationship, and might be worth considering.
Sometimes, you will need therapy. That could be because something is going wrong, or one of you is unhappy without knowing why, or it might be that something huge has happened which has affected you both and therefore the relationship itself. If you feel that therapy is needed, then you should allow each other the space to engage with that – and if it is couples’ therapy you are looking for, then it is especially important to do so, and particularly to find a therapist that you can both be happy with. When therapy is needed in a relationship, it is important to seek it out, and to allow some time for things to settle as you do so. It could be the best thing you ever did as a couple.
Even once you have separated from a person, there can often be the need for some outside assistance to make things a little easier. That will generally be because there is some kind of disagreement surrounding the terms of the separation, and that can be something that really gets in the way. If you have children, for instance, you might need to seek out an experienced family lawyer to help you work through your visitation and so on, so that is something to be aware of. Even after separation this kind of outside help can be really helpful, and in fact most couples need that more at this time than at any other time while they were together.
When Space Is Needed
Sometimes, people in a relationship just need space from each other. The truth is that this is a perfectly ordinary and healthy thing to need, and it is important to make sure that you can allow it for each other. But if you are struggling to do that, you might want to seek out the help of a good friend, even if it is a mutual friend, who can likely offer some advice and assistance. They might even be able to help by offering a place to stay for a while, should that be necessary. As you can see, there are many ways in which such a person might help, should this become important.
Love is a beautiful thing, and it comes in many forms. It can lead people in many directions, both good and bad. It can help restore us, and sometimes, it can be a challenge. That being said, following your heart and involving yourself in romantic love can be more than worth it if this is something you hope to do.
Staying realistic about romantic love can help you overcome your limitations, and may even improve you as a person. Many think that being aware and realistic about love is simply being pessimistic, but of course, pessimism is in no way more virtuous simply because it claims to be. The fact is that without positivity, care, and potential, staying realistic about anything is simply not wholly complete.
But how does this translate to love? And what are the benefits of staying realistic, rather than letting it sweep you away should it come to that? Additionally, how can you stay both humble in the presence of romance, while giving your all and showing the best of yourself? To that, we would offer the following advice:
Perfection Doesn’t Exist
Perfection simply does not exist. Even in the most fairytale union between two people, sooner or later, real life sets in. That being said, perfection is not what you need to be happy. In fact, it can be thoroughly stressful within itself, because you’ll always worry about how you can maintain it, which you can’t. That being said, a healthy relationship can exist, and loving someone deeply is more than possible. Ironically, this comes the moment when you stop expecting everyone to be perfect, because then you can see the actual good in them.
True Love Does Exist
True love does exist. It can often be found when looking in the right places, or getting assistance from a service to help you find those whom you have more than one thing in common with. True love may not be love at first sight, and it may not be love that comes as a result of saving the world with someone like we see in the movies. However, that shouldn’t turn you away from the power of finding and loving someone you appreciate. In fact, the opposite should be true.
You Curate Your Perfection
While perfection in an objective form does not exist, subjective perfection does. You can curate this carefully if you hope to. Simply trying to find someone perfect for you, such as through muslim marriage services or other outlets, can help you avoid wasting time in directions that do not bear fruit. Additionally, you’ll likely find a real sense of power in moving at a pace that’s right for you, not for others, as this in itself can get rid of the time-constraint worries that often plague new budding relationships. As they say, you can’t hurry love. That being said, while you may never have that 100% perfect romance character, you can make your love interest personally perfect for you, and sometimes, that in itself can be ever better.
With this advice, we hope you can stay realistic and optimistic about romantic love.
When a relationship breaks down, it can be difficult to keep things amicable no matter how hard you try. Although you were once in love and happy, now you are the polar opposite. You want to be as far away from your ex-partner as possible and you want to start afresh. It can be difficult to do this in a healthy way. Being on your own again can leave your self confidence sapped, you may be anxious about the future and you may feel low. A break up needn’t be a negative time in your life, and can be seen as a period of renewal. Take a look at how you can handle a relationship breakdown in a healthy way.
If you end a relationship to expect that you and your ex-partner can morph from lovers to friends seamlessly, you will be very much mistaken. In an ideal world, you may want to maintain contact, but this can hurt too much, especially for the person who is being broken up with. You need to give one another space. Many people do not remain in contact with their exes because they want to free themselves of the shackles of a relationship. It’s crucial that you can move forward without having your ex-partner in your life. You will have learned things from your relationship that can help you grow as a person. See this as a positive thing and have fond memories of your time together.
If you share children, break ups take on another level of complexity. While you could call a child custody lawyer, you may want to try and come to an amicable understanding about visitation and parenting that doesn’t involve the courts.
Do Something For You
Breaking up with someone can be isolating and can leave you feeling lonely. Those times when you were on dates, at the movies or having dinner will now be time spent on your own. While this can come as a shock and leave you feeling low, you can also use this time to do new things for yourself. If you want to try something new, enroll in that art class you like the look of, head to the gym more often and try out the free piano lesson that’s being advertised.
You might also want to give your image an overhaul. While a bit of a relationship ending cliche, people do take the time to refresh their look as they move into a new stage of their life.
While you won’t be running away, it’s a good idea to have some physical space between you and your ex-partner. Take some of the holiday that you are owed from work and consider traveling somewhere that you have always wanted to visit. You can head to Iceland to see the Northern Lights, do a spot of backpacking in Goa, or venture to Peru to trek the Inca Trail. Go on a solo travel adventure and immerse yourself in new cultures, try new cuisine and enjoy witnessing new vistas.
Breaking up with a partner can leave you feeling like a failure. However, it may help to see the situation as one door closing, yet another one opening, to help you maintain a positive attitude as you look to the future.
When it comes to relationships, many different people have many different opinions and beliefs. Some believe you should always kiss on the first date provided you like someone, while others feel that this is a forced standard that should in no way be expected. Different genders, different personalities and different age groups all react to the dating scene differently. For example, consider the stark difference between a nineteen year old boy heading on a date and a sixty year old man wishing to find another person to settle down with in retirement, perhaps after losing a loved one. It’s not hard to think how both relationships might turn out differently.
Keeping your relationship healthy, especially in the early days, is not always something that is up for debate. There are better ideas and there are worse ones. For example, expecting your partner to wait on you hand and foot simply because you are now intimate is not a good idea, nor is the idea that you can treat them with less respect because of this.
Consider our advice for helping you make the best of your relationship. You’ll be surprised just how effective it can be:
Understand It’s A Work-In-Progress
A relationship is never ‘complete’ much in the same way that a bonfire is never ‘complete’. However, it can run cold and snuff out when the fuel isn’t there for it to continue. Understanding that your relationship is much like a bonfire is an incredibly important metaphor to consider, and this can make the most difference over time.
Consider the start of a relationship. The first spark comes from the ember, and this causes the fire to burn. Perhaps it starts within a wooden house doused in petrol (attraction) and so the fire starts and you get on, well, like a house alight. The fire is raging, tearing through rooms, it’s so intense it makes you dizzy and also completely consumes you. Then, as this fades over time, the fire starts to die down but still burns with intensity. It has its fuel source, and it cannot spread anymore. This is until you find additional fuel for it.
In a relationship, you need to ensure that fire never goes out. You need to keep using fuel. From date nights to speaking deeply with one another to doing things to strengthen your friendship (a much more stable fire than romantic love could ever be), you begin to keep your relationship perfectly flamed. However, there’s a catch:
Both Need To Fuel It
Here’s the kicker. When finding fuel for our metaphor of a fire, there are two storage areas for you to place said energy to burn. One cannot place that energy in the vessel of the other. It needs to be mutual, and balanced. Otherwise, the fire will be lopsided, and will start to go out.
Both need to keep the fire cared for. This means that if you feel that you do all the work in your relationship, you should speak about it to your partner. If you feel guilty because you know you haven’t been noticing them as much as you should, tell them, and make the effort. Too many people view their relationship as something that simply exists like a force of nature, something as immutable as the color of their eyes or their height. But it’s not. You created this within the course of your lifetime. It can easily be undone. So, if you think it’s worth saving and keeping care of, you need to put the effort in. Understanding this can be one of the best means of helping any relationship stay strong.
We would recommend being co-operative, sharing hobbies and also your own, being trusting and giving them their own space, but also protective, ensuring that they are doing well. Keeping any relationship healthy is much more than a simple fix. It is a sustained effort with a past, present and future, and it lives within you both. Understand this, and you’ll have an access of clarity.
Strengthen Your Friendship
Before, we alluded to the fact that friendship is a much more stable fire than romantic love. That is true, but let us explain why. Friendship is a relationship where we do not expect anything from the other, we only wish to help them succeed. When this is returned both ways, it can be extremely nourishing. Spending time hanging out with someone can often seem like no big deal, but you are quite literally investing the most precious resource you will ever have with them, time, and so that is the ultimate compliment.
Strengthening your friendship matters, and it helps you feel much more embodied within any relationship. Romantic love is wonderful, and it can be life-affirming in many ways. But unsustained by friendship, it is like trying to ride a horse that has not been tamed. You see it all the time, embodied in toxic relationships your friends might have, where they speak to on another like dirt and they seem to accept this is the natural state of things.
But this will not be you. Strengthen your friendship by doing things for one another without anything in the way of expectation in return. Watch how it will blossom, provided you are reciprocated.
Learn The Art Of Communication
Without communication, you’re in trouble. You absolutely need to learn how to do this. If you cannot speak to one another, it might be too late. Learning the art of communication is something worth caring about. While looking up excellent guides to worrying questions such as ‘is he cheating?’ can often be a helpful tool to assess the signs and symptoms of infidelity, without talking about this topic carefully and being forthright about things, you will never have the answers that you seek. It’s in this way that relationships blossom and continually better themselves as the years pass on.
With this advice, you’re certain to keep your relationship healthy in the best manner possible.