Relationship on the Rocks: Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Love is wonderful, but it’s not always easy. Relationships can be hard work, if you’re struggling with yours, here are three questions to ask yourself before throwing in the towel.
Has the argument/ issue only just cropped up?
If the problem in the relationship is new, then instead of throwing in the towel and running for the hills- give yourself some time. Think about things from your partners perspective, have some space if you need it and then come together and talk. Even if it feels serious at the time, it could well be something that you’re able to resolve together. The only exceptions here are infidelity and abuse, if the issue involves either of these then you’re best bet is almost always to leave. But many other problems can be worked out, and you can go on to be happy together again. If the argument is ongoing, and seems to be one of the main topics you bicker and row about then this can be a sign that you’re unable to get past it and might be a cue to speak to divorce lawyers. Ongoing arguments about the same things over and over is the signal of an unhealthy relationship as it shows you’re not able to resolve your problems, meaning they’ll keep on coming back around.
Do you need to work on yourself?
In relationships, it’s easy to blame the other person when things start going wrong or arguments occur. But take a step back and think objectively. Are there things you’re doing which make the situation worse? Maybe you’re controlling and jealous without even realising, and your partners outbursts are actually due to frustration and retaliation. Many of us paint ourselves as the victim in relationships and certain situations when it’s not always the case. Be mature enough to own up to your behaviour and figure out what you could be doing wrong. In many cases, issues in relationships are a result of both of your actions and not just one. It’s not to say you should blame yourself or make excuses for your partner’s bad behaviour- but do acknowledge if you have a part to play. Once you’re aware of this you’re able to take steps to stop and perhaps have a much happier relationship.
Have you considered therapy?
Relationships can get really messy, when you love your partner and a lot has gone on in the past and your feelings are all over the place it can be hard to communicate effectively. For this reason it’s well worth visiting a relationship therapist before you decide to call it quits. Sometimes, just being able to communicate your message in an environment where your partner has to listen to you, and vice versa is all you need. A therapist can give you tips on how to resolve arguments and speak to each other more clearly too to avoid future issues.
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