Tag Archives: marriage counseling

Can Your Marriage Recover From An Affair?

Can Your Marriage Recover From An Affair?

Marriage is hard, plain and simple. Even couples who are very much in love struggle to grapple with the longevity of their relationship, even when on the outside they appear incandescently happy all the time. Unhappiness comes and goes in marriages, even happy ones – the key is how we deal with these waves of discontent. In some marriage or long term partnerships, people deal with their unhappiness by having affairs. No matter what the issue, we can all agree that cheating is a big mistake. Yet according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 15% of women and 25% of men in marriages have had affairs. So what’s the solution? Can a marriage recover from an affair, or is it game over?

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Taking On The Problems

The answer to this lies purely in the couple’s ability to tackle their issues head-on. When infidelity occurs, on either side or even sometimes on both sides, the heartbreak can feel too raw and too much of a betrayal to continue with the relationship. Hence, couples split up over affairs. However, there is a chance that as a couple, you can emerge from this painful point in your marriage as stronger and more unified than ever. The way you must do this is by tackling your problems head-on. If you decide to stay in the marriage and work on things, there is a danger of letting yourselves slip back into old patterns – the patterns which created the environment in which the affair happened. Changing the fabric of your relationship is the only solution. 

Laying It All Out On The Table

When a major breach of trust has occurred, nothing is off the table. It’s time to get all your feelings out in the open. Only after the truth is out can you begin to heal as a couple. This can be a very vulnerable process which hurts a lot. Here are a few ways to deal with this healthily. 

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  1. Couple therapy. It is highly advisable that you see a couples therapist when trying to heal from an affair. This is because therapists are skilled mediators; they can help you to communicate with each other in a structured space. This means that all the emotions that will pour out can be taken in properly, and used to fortify your relationship, rather than further break it down. Affair recovery for couples is a long, hard road, but with a mediator, things are easier. 
  2. Spending time alone. Even if you decide to stay together, it is helpful for your personal recuperation to spend more time apart than usual. This helps you clear your head and understand what it is you truly feel, and what you want. 
  3. Writing things down. If you are struggling to articulate what you feel, write a letter to your spouse. Let all your feelings pour onto the page; this is very cathartic and can help you express your true feelings. 

In conclusion: marriages can recover from affairs with careful guidance and commitment to changing how your relationship operates. There is still hope!

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Divorce Isn’t Your Only Option!

Divorce Isn’t Your Only Option!

When your relationship hits a bump in the road, it’s easy to think that there is no moving forward. And you might believe that there is no other option than calling a divorce lawyer. But it might not be the end of the relationship. In fact, there are ways you might be able to work through your issues and come out stronger the other side. Therefore, here are some other options you should consider first before going down the divorce route.

Talk about your problems

A lot of couples close up when they are having troubles in their relationship. Rather than talking to each other about their concerns, they tend to bottle it up and push each other away. But if you don’t talk to each other, it won’t allow you to move on from your problems. And the emotions you are feeling will build up, and you will grow to hate your partner. Therefore, if you want to work on the relationship, it’s time to open up to one another. Clear the house so that it’s just you and your partner. And then sit down next to each other and allow each other to talk about how you feel. Once you have everything out in the open, you can hopefully concentrate on the present and move on with the relationship.

Have a trial separation

Rather than rushing to a divorce lawyer, the first thing you and your partner should do is have a trial separation. After all, a lot of couples find that a separation does them both the world of good. In fact, it can show them both how much they love the other person. And as well as this, a separation of at least 12 months is often needed before any lawyer like Gillard Family Lawyers can start the divorce proceedings. Therefore, give each other some space to work through your issues. You or your partner might want to leave the family home for a period to ensure you live separate lives. Or you might want to stay under the same roof, but live as if you were both unmarried. Having some time apart can help you to see clearly what the next step is for your relationship!

Look into relationship counseling

Some problems between you and your partner require some outside help. After all, you might find that you just argue about the issue if you sit down just the two of you. But this is not helping you to address the problem and potentially move on. Therefore, if you want to save the relationship, you should consider attending relationship counseling. It’s a great way to express what you want to say in a safe environment. And the counselor will work with you both to ensure you both get a chance to have your say. For some people, counseling can often help them to move forward with their relationship. Or it can show them that the relationship can not be salvaged and that you should both move on!

And sometimes it’s worth going back to resolve current problems. Reminiscing about how you met and going on your first date can help you start over with your other half. Therefore, don’t be afraid to spend some time in the past to move forward!

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Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram