Tag Archives: friendly divorce

You Have To Think About The Kids

You Have To Think About The Kids

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Divorce is such a horrible thing, but it happens. You never planned for it, but it happens. For whatever reason, it has happened. It comes with stresses, worries, hurt, love, anxieties and pain. But the hardest thing about divorcing the person you once loved is protecting your children. They are your every thought, that piece of you that you will do anything to protect. Of course, it is worth noting that a lot of children cope with divorce fantastically, and come out unharmed and unaffected.

But not all of them, which is why you will need to do everything you can to ensure they are as protected from the effects of your divorce as best as you possibly can. That is where we come in. We have gathered as much market research as possible, including advice from experts and divorcees, to ensure that your children remain the priority through this incredibly tough time.

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Set The Priority Straight

Your marriage may have broken down, but you still share your children, and that you always will. You are both going to be responsible for raising them to be incredible adults. As such, you need to reaffirm with the other parent that your children’s emotional health is at the very top of the priority list. Whatever happens, you will protect them from harm and hurt. That is your duty as responsible parents, and that chat needs to happen from the outset.

No Fighting

Emotions will be high, and often uncontrollable. They will flare at times and you will get under each other’s skin. But try and control your emotions as much as possible, because the more control you have the easier it will be to remain calm and not fight. This is going to be in your child’s best interests. To help you, we suggest you hire an attorney who is experienced in this area of law, such as Barton Wood. It is also wise to seek mediation, and perhaps go to counseling together. The sooner you can tolerate each other, the better it will be for your child.

Be Role Models

You are both role models for your child. You are the biggest influences on their lives. You will want to show them how to be mature, how to act when the going gets tough, how to approach undesirable situations and how to show strength. Remember, showing strength doesn’t have to be pushing. It can be in accepting the other person’s opinion too.

Be Involved

A parent needs both parents. They deserve it too. So no matter how much you may despise each other, you cannot let your child suffer because of your pride. By both having an involvement you drastically reduce the chances that your child will grow up with emotional health problems. There is no point telling yourself that you would make a great single parent because it is irrelevant. What you should be telling yourself is that your child needs both parents in their life. It takes bravery to do that, but being a good parent is all about being brave.

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Divorced? Here’s What You Need To Do Now

Divorced? Here’s What You Need To Do Now

Making the decision to get a divorce is never an easy one, particularly if there are children involved. You might have been trying to make it work for months or even years but to no avail. If both you and your partner are severely unhappy in your marriage, a divorce can be the best solution for everyone. But once you’ve come to an agreement, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Even though it’s the right thing to do, it can still be an emotional and overwhelming experience. So if you’ve just decided to get divorced and are unsure what to do now, follow these simple steps.

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Talk about child custody

This is likely to be the most difficult conversation you will ever have. But it’s also the most important. You and your partner need to decide how you intend to continue providing care, time and support for your children. Consider how you can equally spend time with them, particularly over holidays, birthdays and weekends. Be realistic and always focus on your kid’s best interests.

In addition to this, you should also discuss how you want to break the news of your divorce to your children. Talking about this beforehand gives you time to prepare for their reactions. If you find it difficult to come to an agreement, get in touch with Gillespie, Shields, Durrant & Goldfarb or another family law firm.

Check your finances

Running a house will be different now you only have one source of income. You might have to survive on less and stretch your money further each week. The cost of getting a divorce can also be notoriously expensive. So one of the most important things you need to do is check your finances. Visit your bank and talk to your financial advisor about your current situation. They may be able to suggest ways in which you can save more money each month. This is also the perfect opportunity for you to set up a new bank account. If you think you might struggle, you should also start looking for additional employment. Download LinkedIn and other free job search apps to get started.

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Decide where you will live

Another vital discussion you need to have with your partner is where you will both live. One of you might want to stay in the same property whereas the other might want to move out. Or perhaps both of you want to move out and sell your old home. Remember to consider your kids before making a final decision. If you do decide to sell, work out a fair way to divide the money equally. This is an agreement you should have witnessed by an attorney, as your property is likely to be the most expensive asset you have. This will ensure that when it is sold, no foul play will occur.

By following these simple steps, you increase your chances of having a more honest and amicable divorce. This can benefit not only you but your children as well. If you’re still finding it difficult to come to terms with your divorce, talk to a divorce counselor or your doctor.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Amicable Divorce: How To Make It Possible

Amicable Divorce: How To Make It Possible

You might think that an amicable divorce is impossible, and anybody who claims they had one is an enigma. The truth is, you can make amicable divorce possible. However, it may take a lot of work on your part. Here’s how to make it possible:

Understand The Repercussions of Blindsiding Your Spouse

If you’re blindsiding your spouse, you really need to understand the repercussions of doing so. You may have had a long time to mull this over and settle into the idea of not being with them anymore, so it may not be as difficult for you. You might be more than ready to start your new life as a singleton. However, your spouse won’t find it as easy. In many cases, they might think everything is just fine. When you blindside your spouse, you need to be prepared for a range of emotions to be thrown at you. You need to be prepared for insults and attempted arguments. It won’t be easy, but if it’s what you really want then you need to go through with it.


Prepare To Take Things Slow

Make sure you are prepared to take things slowly. Your spouse is likely already in shock. You’ll need to be prepared to have long, drawn out talks with them over what to do about the kids, your assets, etc. However, avoid these conversations at all costs at first. Your partner will likely be too emotionally charged and will make unreasonable requests.


Be Firm But Understanding

Although you need to be firm with your spouse if this is definitely what you want, you also need to understand what they are going through. Listen to them. Don’t accuse them. You’re not looking to get into an argument or figure out whose fault it all is. This is your final decision, and you don’t need to get into it. Simply listen to them and try to understand them, but make it clear you won’t be changing your mind.


Don’t Bite Back

As tempting as it might be to bite back when they insult you or say something provocative, don’t. They likely don’t mean anything they are saying right now, and just need some time to calm down. The more you can resist the urge to bite back and just take what they have to throw at you, the more chance you have of an amicable divorce. Remember the end result you want and stay strong.


Contact A Professional To Guide You

You may want to contact a professional to guide you if you’re struggling with this. Divorce mediators are good choices if your spouse refuses to speak to you or is being difficult in any way. Make sure you research the best in your area so everything goes as smoothly as it possibly can.

Remember to take the lead when it comes to your amicable divorce. Your partner may or may not do the things mentioned in this guide. Either way, make sure you act how you would like them to act, and it might not take them long to accept your decision.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.