Tag Archives: Dwelling on the past

How To Deal With A Difficult Breakup

How To Deal With A Difficult Breakup

Dealing with the breakdown of any relationship can be difficult – especially when you have invested a great deal of time and energy into the other person. Therefore, regardless of the circumstances of the breakup – be that infidelity or lifestyle changes, you must take the time you need to process your thoughts, feelings, and emotions and begin on the path of recovery.

Photo by Katie Drazdauskaite on Unsplash

With that in mind, here are some top tips for dealing with a breakup. 

Know that you are not alone.

When you have spent most of your time with a partner, to suddenly be thrust apart can leave you feeling terribly isolated or alone. However, it’s important to remember that this simply isn’t the case – and that there is always somebody that you can reach out to – be that a friend, family member, or even a therapist. While you may be keen to spend some time alone, know that people who love and care about you are just a phone call away. 

Be prepared to deal with any legalities.

Unfortunately, breakups are often made more complicated by certain legalities that have to be dealt with. For example, if you were married, divorce proceedings mean that you cannot simply cut your ex-partner out of your life and never have to think about them again. The same applies if you bought a property together or live together. Therefore, you should prepare yourself for any legal proceedings or issues that may come your way. Thankfully, there are various ways in which you can go about making this process easier. For example, you can read this blog on How to Solve the 2 Problems Everyone Has With Divorce ahead of time to make the process as stress-free as possible. 

Don’t dwell on the past.

In the days, weeks, and even months that follow your breakup, it’s likely that you’ll spend a lot of time thinking about the past, reliving happy memories you shared before things got difficult, or wondering if your relationship could be fixed if you worked a little harder. While this is a perfectly natural response to loss, you mustn’t dwell in the past. Instead, find a way to look forward to the future. Remember, the past will continue to haunt you so long as you give it permission to do so. 

Have some time alone.

With dating apps making it easier than ever to jump right back into the world of dating after a breakup, it’s important that you do not try to rush into a relationship. Instead, take some time to appreciate being alone. Start dating yourself, go out for a meal at your favorite restaurants, re-engage with your hobbies or interests. Do things for yourself for a change. This will allow you to heal and learn more about yourself in the process. This means that you will enter a new relationship when you are ready to do so and are no longer holding onto things that used to hurt you. This will also allow you to be more realistic about romantic love.  

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

About Dysfunctional Relationships

About Dysfunctional Relationships

No relationship is perfect, and for any to succeed there must be compromises, empathy and understanding. Each relationship is unique and has its quirks, whether positive or negative, and even the best can fail for reasons like lack of communication, or understanding about what your partner needs. Here are some examples of dysfunctional relationships, and a little bit about how each dynamic works. Hopefully by reading this, you can see your relationship in a new light, or see the warning signs and it becoming dysfunctional, and harmful to all parties involved.

Source.

Ownership

Many people feel that they own their partner, in many ways. This ownership is emotional, and is one way street. The person who is “owned” must constantly pander to the other’s emotions, when their partner has little regard for their own. The relationship often revolved around minimizing the anxiety and stress of the “owner”, which often stems from some kind of insecurity.

In an ideal relationship you should always have empathy and support your partner in all their life goals, to help them achieve what they want to in life. Obviously in reality, losing that person will be difficult. Not “owning” your partner, and having empathy for them, can help you both achieve so many things. Ownership breeds dysfunctionality between partners.

Submission and Dominance

While this can be great to mess around with in the bedroom, is one partner is always dominant or submissive in everyday life, this can cause problems. If one [partner always has dominance over the other, the submissive party will often stop fighting battle, and feel resentful at the predictable outcome. Having too much control isn’t good for the dominant party either, and they could easily abuse this power.

People that work as a team, are able to function in a much healthier way. Coming up with solutions to problems together, means that the outcome will be a much fairer one. Compromising and supporting your partner is the best way to show you care about the, and to foster a less stressful way of settling disputes and making decisions about your life.

Harbouring Grudges

Grudges often seem insignificant at the time to either party, but can grow out of control. Harbouring a grudge, whether this is about a past argument, or previous “resolved” issue with the relationship, can come back to haunt you both. It is important to be honest about what is on your mind, even if it seems unimportant at the time. Otherwise this can lead to resentment, and the person with the grudge to feel that something unjust has happened to them, whether this is exaggerated or not.

Dwelling on the past, whether a past relationship or past argument, consider other’s perspectives, for example a male perspective might help, for example a blog like: should I get back with my ex? Talking about issues as they arise, and not  burying s the way to stop  the issue getting out of hand, and stop resentment.

Communicating and being aware of these problems as they arise, can ensure you have a functional relationship.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.