Tag Archives: Cheating

Can Your Marriage Recover From An Affair?

Can Your Marriage Recover From An Affair?

Marriage is hard, plain and simple. Even couples who are very much in love struggle to grapple with the longevity of their relationship, even when on the outside they appear incandescently happy all the time. Unhappiness comes and goes in marriages, even happy ones – the key is how we deal with these waves of discontent. In some marriage or long term partnerships, people deal with their unhappiness by having affairs. No matter what the issue, we can all agree that cheating is a big mistake. Yet according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 15% of women and 25% of men in marriages have had affairs. So what’s the solution? Can a marriage recover from an affair, or is it game over?

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Taking On The Problems

The answer to this lies purely in the couple’s ability to tackle their issues head-on. When infidelity occurs, on either side or even sometimes on both sides, the heartbreak can feel too raw and too much of a betrayal to continue with the relationship. Hence, couples split up over affairs. However, there is a chance that as a couple, you can emerge from this painful point in your marriage as stronger and more unified than ever. The way you must do this is by tackling your problems head-on. If you decide to stay in the marriage and work on things, there is a danger of letting yourselves slip back into old patterns – the patterns which created the environment in which the affair happened. Changing the fabric of your relationship is the only solution. 

Laying It All Out On The Table

When a major breach of trust has occurred, nothing is off the table. It’s time to get all your feelings out in the open. Only after the truth is out can you begin to heal as a couple. This can be a very vulnerable process which hurts a lot. Here are a few ways to deal with this healthily. 

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  1. Couple therapy. It is highly advisable that you see a couples therapist when trying to heal from an affair. This is because therapists are skilled mediators; they can help you to communicate with each other in a structured space. This means that all the emotions that will pour out can be taken in properly, and used to fortify your relationship, rather than further break it down. Affair recovery for couples is a long, hard road, but with a mediator, things are easier. 
  2. Spending time alone. Even if you decide to stay together, it is helpful for your personal recuperation to spend more time apart than usual. This helps you clear your head and understand what it is you truly feel, and what you want. 
  3. Writing things down. If you are struggling to articulate what you feel, write a letter to your spouse. Let all your feelings pour onto the page; this is very cathartic and can help you express your true feelings. 

In conclusion: marriages can recover from affairs with careful guidance and commitment to changing how your relationship operates. There is still hope!

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

What To Do If You Suspect You’re Being Cheated On

What To Do If You Suspect You’re Being Cheated On

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Nobody wants to be in a position where you think you’re being cheated on. It’s horrible because you feel like you’re paranoid, but all of the signs are there. Your partner spends hours away from you with no contact whatsoever – not even a message. They seem very panicked and twitchy when you walk by them, and they’re on their phone. No doubt you’ve seen many quick closes of WhatsApp or Snapchat when you’re around them!

None of the signs are good, so what do you do when you suspect you’re being cheated on? Realistically, there are only a handful of things you can do:

Ask your friends for advice

Speak to your friends and ask them if they think you’re being crazy or not. They may see all of your evidence and suggest that you have a genuine thing to worry about. As a result, they might help you uncover the truth behind all of the lies. Perhaps they will try to follow your partner when they go out, seeing where they go. Or, they could talk directly to your partner to see how they feel about your relationship. This works best when you have mutual friends that both of you talk to a lot. At the very least, your friends can provide support if you need it. 

Consider taking more drastic measures

The problem with this situation is that you may have to take some slightly unethical measures. Well, they’re only unethical if your suspicions are incorrect. You could hire a private investigator or a Snapchat hacker to get to the bottom of things and look in on what your partner is doing. This will help you see things that you’d otherwise be unable to see. If anything, ideas like this will guarantee that you find the truth. It’s a terrible situation because if everything checks out and they weren’t cheating, you feel awful. Do you have to tell your partner what you’ve done? You could argue that their dodgy behaviour warranted this, but it’s a tough debate to have with yourself. Regardless, you should only jump to this step if you are very confident that something is going on, and you need proof before making a confrontation. 

Speak to your partner

Ultimately, this is the best thing you can do. Okay, it’s not the best, but it’s a step you can’t avoid. You must confront your partner with your suspicions and lay all of the evidence before them. This way, you can show them why you’ve been suspicious. Even if you’re wrong, the evidence you present should be enough to make them understand why you thought this way. As such, they can’t be annoyed at you if they haven’t done anything wrong. Sadly, in situations like this, your intuition is normally correct, and they have been unfaithful. 
Like I said, this is a part of a relationship nobody wants to go through. Cheating is wrong on so many levels, and there are various reasons people do it. Don’t jump to conclusions; spend time monitoring your partner’s behaviour and collecting evidence before you confront them. Then, it’s up to you to decide what happens next.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

What If He’s Not The One? (These 5 Signs Tell The Truth)

What If He’s Not The One? (These 5 Signs Tell The Truth)

Source: Is it time to turn your back on a relationship? Possibly.

 

Falling in love is the greatest thing in the world. Sadly, though, the statistics show that it often doesn’t last. For many people, admitting defeat is the hardest thing, even when they can see it coming from a mile away. If you are in this situation, a speedy solution is crucial.

 

While I hope you are reading this post purely out of interest, there’s a good chance that most of you already think that there could be a problem. Here are five factors would suggest that those doubts are well founded.

 

#1. You Don’t Share The Same Outlooks

 

When you first start dating it’s easy to overlook conflicting opinions and ambitions. In fact, this is something that can continue for many years to come. Or perhaps you’ve just grown into different people. While love isn’t easy, fighting for something when you both want different things is futile. Whether it’s a desire to travel the world or simply contrasting ideas on how to spend your weekends doesn’t matter. Drifting apart is a signal that things are heading to a negative outcome. Either work things out or call it a day, waiting for things to fizzle out isn’t good for anyone.

 

#2. You’re Not Ready For The Next Commitment

 

Most relationships encounter a number of milestones along the way. Moving in together, getting married, and having a baby are all key moments. There’s no need to rush into those commitments. However, if you find yourself putting them off for years, there could be an underlying reason. Whether you have doubts about his Dad traits or think he may be unfaithful, those issues can be hard to lose. As such, they may be an indication that things are coming to an end.

 

#3. You Don’t Feel Supported

 

A loving relationship needs to work both ways. Your feelings for him aren’t enough if they aren’t matched by his towards you. Staying with a man that leaves you feeling undervalued and unappreciated can change you as a person. This can manifest itself in many ways, ranging from a lack of support during your period to not noticing your haircut. Or if he expects you to do all the chores without even showing gratitude, there is a major problem that needs to be addressed.

 

#4. You’re Not In It For Him

 

When you are deep in a relationship, the decisions might not only affect the two people involved. However, staying in it solely for the kids isn’t healthy. They’d be better suited to having two happy homes rather than one unhappy one. Divorce Paralegal experts can provide the support through the process. Before making drastic decisions, though, it’s worth discussing things with him as well as with friends and family. It might just be a bump, but if there’s no real passion for him, this cannot be ignored.

 

#5. You’ve Started Looking Elsewhere   

 

Cheating may be the last thing you’d ever do due to your morals. But even giving it serious consideration suggests that things aren’t great in the relationship. Of course, we all have celebrity crushes and there’s nothing wrong with thinking a co-worker or friend is attractive. Still, when there is a genuine desire to be with someone else, it’s because you don’t want to be with your partner. Likewise, flirting through tech devices as a way to get attention is a telling factor. Both of you deserve better.

 

Ending a relationship is final, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Still, if the signs are pointing towards a clear outcome, acceptance is pivotal. In the long-term, that short-term pain might be the best thing for you.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.