Tag Archives: cheat on their partner

Can Your Marriage Recover From An Affair?

Can Your Marriage Recover From An Affair?

Marriage is hard, plain and simple. Even couples who are very much in love struggle to grapple with the longevity of their relationship, even when on the outside they appear incandescently happy all the time. Unhappiness comes and goes in marriages, even happy ones – the key is how we deal with these waves of discontent. In some marriage or long term partnerships, people deal with their unhappiness by having affairs. No matter what the issue, we can all agree that cheating is a big mistake. Yet according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 15% of women and 25% of men in marriages have had affairs. So what’s the solution? Can a marriage recover from an affair, or is it game over?

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Taking On The Problems

The answer to this lies purely in the couple’s ability to tackle their issues head-on. When infidelity occurs, on either side or even sometimes on both sides, the heartbreak can feel too raw and too much of a betrayal to continue with the relationship. Hence, couples split up over affairs. However, there is a chance that as a couple, you can emerge from this painful point in your marriage as stronger and more unified than ever. The way you must do this is by tackling your problems head-on. If you decide to stay in the marriage and work on things, there is a danger of letting yourselves slip back into old patterns – the patterns which created the environment in which the affair happened. Changing the fabric of your relationship is the only solution. 

Laying It All Out On The Table

When a major breach of trust has occurred, nothing is off the table. It’s time to get all your feelings out in the open. Only after the truth is out can you begin to heal as a couple. This can be a very vulnerable process which hurts a lot. Here are a few ways to deal with this healthily. 

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  1. Couple therapy. It is highly advisable that you see a couples therapist when trying to heal from an affair. This is because therapists are skilled mediators; they can help you to communicate with each other in a structured space. This means that all the emotions that will pour out can be taken in properly, and used to fortify your relationship, rather than further break it down. Affair recovery for couples is a long, hard road, but with a mediator, things are easier. 
  2. Spending time alone. Even if you decide to stay together, it is helpful for your personal recuperation to spend more time apart than usual. This helps you clear your head and understand what it is you truly feel, and what you want. 
  3. Writing things down. If you are struggling to articulate what you feel, write a letter to your spouse. Let all your feelings pour onto the page; this is very cathartic and can help you express your true feelings. 

In conclusion: marriages can recover from affairs with careful guidance and commitment to changing how your relationship operates. There is still hope!

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

What To Do If You Suspect You’re Being Cheated On

What To Do If You Suspect You’re Being Cheated On

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Nobody wants to be in a position where you think you’re being cheated on. It’s horrible because you feel like you’re paranoid, but all of the signs are there. Your partner spends hours away from you with no contact whatsoever – not even a message. They seem very panicked and twitchy when you walk by them, and they’re on their phone. No doubt you’ve seen many quick closes of WhatsApp or Snapchat when you’re around them!

None of the signs are good, so what do you do when you suspect you’re being cheated on? Realistically, there are only a handful of things you can do:

Ask your friends for advice

Speak to your friends and ask them if they think you’re being crazy or not. They may see all of your evidence and suggest that you have a genuine thing to worry about. As a result, they might help you uncover the truth behind all of the lies. Perhaps they will try to follow your partner when they go out, seeing where they go. Or, they could talk directly to your partner to see how they feel about your relationship. This works best when you have mutual friends that both of you talk to a lot. At the very least, your friends can provide support if you need it. 

Consider taking more drastic measures

The problem with this situation is that you may have to take some slightly unethical measures. Well, they’re only unethical if your suspicions are incorrect. You could hire a private investigator or a Snapchat hacker to get to the bottom of things and look in on what your partner is doing. This will help you see things that you’d otherwise be unable to see. If anything, ideas like this will guarantee that you find the truth. It’s a terrible situation because if everything checks out and they weren’t cheating, you feel awful. Do you have to tell your partner what you’ve done? You could argue that their dodgy behaviour warranted this, but it’s a tough debate to have with yourself. Regardless, you should only jump to this step if you are very confident that something is going on, and you need proof before making a confrontation. 

Speak to your partner

Ultimately, this is the best thing you can do. Okay, it’s not the best, but it’s a step you can’t avoid. You must confront your partner with your suspicions and lay all of the evidence before them. This way, you can show them why you’ve been suspicious. Even if you’re wrong, the evidence you present should be enough to make them understand why you thought this way. As such, they can’t be annoyed at you if they haven’t done anything wrong. Sadly, in situations like this, your intuition is normally correct, and they have been unfaithful. 
Like I said, this is a part of a relationship nobody wants to go through. Cheating is wrong on so many levels, and there are various reasons people do it. Don’t jump to conclusions; spend time monitoring your partner’s behaviour and collecting evidence before you confront them. Then, it’s up to you to decide what happens next.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

In A Relationship Rut? Here’s What You Can Do!

In A Relationship Rut? Here’s What You Can Do!

Accepting that your relationship is over is never easy. The majority of people in the world subscribe to long-term, monogamous relationships, which is the norm set out for us by society. Therefore, when most of us get into relationships, especially as adults, there tends to be an unspoken rule regarding the longevity of the relationships. But, as much as a relationship might seem perfect at the time, it is possible for cracks to develop, and before we know it, we are heading for a separation. This can be incredibly distressing, especially if you thought you were going to be with that person forever. In this kind of scenario, many of us struggle to know what path to take, especially if we have never been through a breakup before. But before rushing into anything drastic, you may want to weigh up your options about what to do if you think your relationship is over.

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Evaluate it

All too often, people mistake ‘the spark fading’ for their relationship being over in its entirety. The truth is, for most couples, the honeymoon period does come to an end after a while, and that is when real life hits you. Breaking up with someone just because this honeymoon period has ended could be the start of a series of unhealthy relationships – after all, if you are constantly chasing the high of a new relationship, you will struggle to commit to someone on a long-term basis. See if there are some things you can do to re-ignite the spark in your relationship rather than just cutting it off. Going out on dates, talking openly about your feelings and putting an emphasis on intimacy are all things you can do to make you feel closer to your partner. If you still love them and trust them, it can definitely be worth putting in this effort.

Break it off entirely

If you have been feeling down about your relationship for some time – perhaps you and your partner fight a lot, and it is wearing you down – your best option may be just to cut it off completely. This can often be easier said than done. For example, if you are married you may need to lay out some kind of separation agreement, which means getting the courts involved. Even if you are not married to your partner, it can still take guts to leave, especially if you do still care about them. But dragging it out can only make things worse – if you need to go, do what’s best for you and leave when you can.

Red X Marked X Couple Stamped Stigma Hands
Red X Marked X Couple Stamped Stigma Hands

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Have a trial separation

This one can be risky, as some people see it as merely an excuse to cheat on their partner without getting into trouble. But a trial separation should be exactly that – spending some time without your partner, on your own, to think about things. If you are tempted to see other people during that time, it’s a sure fire sign that you are probably not meant to be together after all.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram