Dating in the millennial world is like strolling through the jungle ofravenous beasts. As soon as you fire up your dating app, trolls and predatorsflock to your profile, hell-bent on tearing your confidence into pieces. Terrifying, right? While the situation is not necessarily as drastic as presented (though it truly happens to numerous unwitting love-seekers), finding genuine love in the millennial world is turning into an exception. Getting tothe root cause of why “making it work” has become a miracle is not particularlyhard. Rendering the process easier is a significantly harder riddle to solve.
Commitment issues are rampant
The problem mostly lies in the fact that millennial generation has an overwhelming phobia of commitment. This widespread phenomenon has emerged exactly due to the dating app factor.Why would you bother when there are plenty more “swipes” in the sea? In themillennial mind, people have turned into commodities. The first step to solving this, should you come across someone that you truly like, is to actively seekout connections with the person through common interests.
This way, you will become more than a cardboard cutout or a set of brief traits in the eyes of the potential date, much more quickly. However, the second step is quite harder and it is also related to the fear of commitment. This obstacle comes in the signature millennial fear of opening up, coupled with the unwillingness to repeatedly invest energy into partners.
The main tool is also a problem
With the omnipresent power of the internet, the metaphysical cloud that covers the globe and simmers with endless data, long distance relationships have become more common place. While previous generation used the net as a tool in this regard, matters have become a bit trickier for millennials.
In the world of diminished attention spans and constant pursue for immediate gratification, the survival of long distance relationships requires both parties to exercise in human patience and constant readiness to compromise. The additional work might be exhaustive, but the benefits of pulling through are immeasurable.
The afore mentioned unwillingness to invest energy in relationships is not a mild problem. Millennials learn, since early age, to be focused solely on themselves and their own needs. In addition, the digital realm is tailored exactly to cater to the individual’s perception of oneself as the “center of the world”. In spite of this, you can easily spot a glaring contradiction within such state of things – since the choices at our disposal are in numerable, it becomes easy to feel as if we do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Generations ago, people used to belong to diffuse and organic social microcosms which were easier to navigate. An average millennial suffers the “tyranny of freedom” but manages to come on top as long ascertain basic tenets are followed.
Avoid distractions and have a clear goal
In order to find the right partner, you need to narrow down your wants into a reasonable goal. As soon as you enter the world of dating (both online and offline) things can get really distracting really fast so it helps to have a clear goal when it comes to the type of person you’d love to “find”. Just don’t fall into a trap of perceiving people as conquests as you will end up perpetuating previous mistakes. Second, you need to communicate this goal clearly, which might trim down the number of people that are willing to date you drastically, but at least you will pique the interest of those that want a similar arrangement. Finally, you need to take action and have hope no matter what – a few failed dates should not discourage you.
We live in the unprecedented times. The world is changing faster than we can process it and so does the way we engage with people around us. In this digital jungle of social media and dating apps, dating has turned into a curious multi-dimensional maneuver that dances frantically between numerous versions of your identity. Only one of these versions is completely genuine;all others are hyper-stylized. Previous generations did not have to wrestle with social hierarchies that include multiple levels of reality, all in order to fulfill the needs that are so primordial and instinctive. Both the problem and the solution to finding true love in the millennial world lie in the heartof this paradox. Thankfully, as infinitely quotable Dr. John Hammond says in“Jurassic Park”, “Life always finds a way.”
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