Relationship Therapy: Things to Do Before Saying ‘I Do’
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So your special someone asked, and you said ‘yes’! Congratulations!
Now the whirlwind starts. After you’ve called everyone you know, posted on social media, and thought of how amazingly happy you’re still going to be on your Golden Anniversary, there’s a few things you need to do before you start planning the guest list and centerpieces.
Remember What the Wedding is For
So many times the wedding gets bigger than the marriage. If you’re not sure what I mean by that, just look at the current divorce rate. A lot of those now parted couples had an amazing venue, but a fragile union. A wedding is about a marriage, which entails two people. You’re guest list might have hundreds, but they aren’t there during the flu or financial struggles. These things are part of real, everyday life. You and your partner need to be able to work together to handle life, not only at it’s best, but also at it’s worst.
So, when planning the wedding, remember it’s a day about you two and the guests are there to celebrate with you. Don’t worry about pleasing everyone, just make sure you and your partner are happy with the plans.
Plan Out the Paperwork
If there are plans to sign a prenup, both parties need to discuss, openly, questions and concerns. A prenuptial agreement isn’t necessary for everyone. Also understand, a prenuptial agreement isn’t setting a marriage up for failure, it’s simply protecting both parties in case the worst should happen.
After you get married there’s a ton of paperwork, especially if you are taking your partners last name. You have to change your name on everything you currently have, but then there’s a few new things you’ll need to think of. Insurances will need to be done. Call your providers and see what they will need after your wedding to update your policies. Next, do you plan on getting life insurance straight away? It’s always a strange and heart-wrenching conversation to have with the person you are just about to start a life with, but it’s important to know how you and your partner want things to be handled when that day comes.
The biggest discussion on prepping paperwork is usually a joint bank account.
Get on the Money
Finances are the leading cause of arguments in a relationship and can sadly lead to divorce. It doesn’t matter the amount of money or lack thereof. It’s more about how people treat money. If you and your partner have different ideas about money, it’s best to discuss that beforehand. Many couple find success in the system of yours, mine, ours. This allows responsibilities to get paid as well as you have your account to buy another pair of shoes and they have theirs to buy a bigger tv without either of you building resentment.
A lot of churches now have couples come for several visits before the big day. Some churches call it class while others call it counseling. Either way, it’s for couples to talk about the growth of relationships and how to handle when problem arise.
Not every couple gets married in churches nowadays, but it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t take part in Premarital Counseling. Using therapy and learning how to handle a difficult situation before it happens is kind of like fire prevention. It doesn’t mean you can prevent the argument, but you can help extinguish it before it rages out of control.
These things will help you, not only in your union, but can come in handy while planning the big day as well. Best wishes!
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.