It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship.
You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together.
Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them.
If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward.
It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.
This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs.
Sex and trust
You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line.
You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner.
If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships.
There are many ways you can stay fit and healthy for your body, but what about sexuality? Sex is a part of everyone, you can’t help being who you are and we all have urges. However rather than thinking about sexy only when we want it, we need to start living a more sexually healthy lifestyle as well. For example, you may not even know that there are certain things you can do to improve your sexdrive and the health of your reproductive organs. We can’t demand our respective tools to jump into life whenever we want them to and not be in some kind of discomfort. We need to have a good heart first of all as our blood pressure and heart rate massively spike when we are in the act. We also need to stay active in between each meeting and that requires some different kinds of exercises.
For your benefit
The fat distribution for men and women is very different. Men store most of their fat on their upper body. Usually it’s all around their stomach and on the waist. For women however it’s mostly in the lower body such as in the hips, buttocks and legs. So to help your body be more ready for sex, you should workout these areas the more often. You don’t need to do weight training as this will burn off a lot of fat which you need. Instead you should do aerobics that focus on your buttocks and legs. This can be things like standing bodyweight squats, calf toning exercises and lunges to improve your rear. Overall this helps your joints as well, making you more flexible and improving your overall stamina too.
On the go
You’d be surprised at how many couples have spontaneous sex. It’s not all about pre-planned meals with candlelights and romantic music. Many people would prefer to just have sex when they want it no matter where it is than have it planned. It’s just more exciting that way, but don’t forget you don’t want any unplanned mishaps. The benefit of pre-planned sex is that you can plan it out; obviously. So if you’re on the go, don’t make the unfortunate mistake of not carrying contraception options. You have many different contraceptive measures for men but also for women. It’s not just the pill, but things like the femidom and the ring. These things will help you and your partner have safer sex and prevent diseases from spreading or any unwanted pregnancies from occuring.
Engage in fantasy
Believe it not, sex can get boring. If it’s just too predictable it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. So engage in fantasy. Talk about your sexual desires, secrets and fantasies with your partner. But don’t just talk about them, act them out. You can fulfill each other’s fantasies and mix it up a bit. Keep sex fun, adventurous and indulge in your guilty pleasures.
Many of us aren’t worried about sex until we need it. You should work to have a better, healthier sex life by keeping your body is tip top shape. Engage in fantasies and spontaneous sex, but always be careful and be safe as well.
The role of women has never been more under the microscope. What with the Me Too movement and the gender pay gap, there are lots of reasons to think men are on top. However, being a woman is incredible. The alternative is to be a man, and we can all agree it isn’t on our bucket list, ladies! And, if you think this is a post to big up women without any evidence, you’re wrong. Womanhood is supported by science, and the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So, carry on reading to find out more and eat up these undeniable reasons being a woman is awesome.
We Don’t Need A Man
That’s according to a recent study in The Guardian. Something ladies have known for ages is that there is no need for a man in life. Sure, finding a partner to spend forever with is an incredible experience, but it doesn’t define women. Men need it because it calms them down and adds another string to their bow; we, on the other hand, are more likely to die early. And, it isn’t only men because the girls don’t need kids either as unmarried women without children is the happiest group. The next time someone questions your independence hit them with this nugget.
We’re Better Drivers
The adage is that men are better drivers, but that’s been disproved. A recent study published in Harper’s Bazaar shows women are better than men because they’re less likely to be involved in an accident. While the guys need the experts at Eric Ramos Law on speed dial, we don’t have to worry about our health on the road. There are knock-effects, too. Being safer drivers means insurance premiums for women are lower and we have more money in our back pockets.
We Communicate Better
A study by the University of Manchester found that women are better communicators than men. Why? It’s because they speak for the sake of it and we get to the point. Let’s face it – this research is about as reliable as it gets! Not only is the stereotype that women are gossipers not true; we’re more succinct too. The reason this is important is varied, from being more efficient and not wasting time to expressing how we feel. The latter might seem corny but it’s an integral part of a successful relationship, not that we need one anyway!
We Live Longer
If you thought being a woman didn’t get any better, wait until you hear this one: our life expectancy is higher. The reasons haven’t been pinned down yet, but it’s thought women live longer for biological child-bearing purposes. Regardless, we get all of the benefits above and we get to enjoy them for longer. Sure, there are some drawbacks to womanhood, but we’re working on that too with more representation in the workplace and the boardroom. Oh, and sexual harassment and is on the decline as well.
Sorry guys, but it looks as if you’re the ones who’ve picked the short straw. Ouch!
Grey Area of Consensual
Sex: You Are Not 50 Shades of Christian Grey
By: Tia Cristy
first time I saw 50 Shades of Grey was at a private promotional showing with
about fifty of my co-workers, including my boss and his wife… Awkward.
Nevertheless, no matter how uncomfortable
the situation was, in which I was watching the box-office porn, the fact was
the title was becoming a household name worldwide.
People of all ages were getting the inside scoop on non-disclosed kink. Even my
dad, who never saw the movie, nor read the books, could make references to the
storyline. Talk about really awkward—Side note: I’m now a firm believer that
some things should never be discussed between a father and a daughter.
after the movie hit nationwide, the increase of emergency room visits due to
sexually related injuries jumped up to a huge 20%. As a Lifestyle Blogger that
preaches on sexual health, I felt it was imperative to work with the right
experts to help couples learn proper etiquette in spicing up their love life. I
started to publish posts and infographics on things like, Introduction to
Bondage. I thought if curious men and women had
the right information, they could safely venture into uncharted territories
without ending up in the ER. Right?
Let’s skip ahead…
50 Shades Trilogy now available OnDemand… I sat down with a gynecologist specialist, who has been my long-time confidential source for Sexual Health. We discussed some incredibly disturbing stats. The increasing cases of women coming into her office with serious sexual trauma that was encountered during consensual sex is staggering. ‘Smash, pound, break or tear up’ have all been used as synonyms for sex, but these words should never be taken literal. Women have resulted in being beaten, strangled, scratched, bitten, torn, etc. all with the intent of having enjoyable, agreed-upon sex.
Whether it was called making love, a booty-call or simply a good-time, at some point the objective of pleasurable sex went terribly wrong amidst intercourse. External and internal injuries were obtained. Short-term and long-term damages were done physically as well as emotionally. And sadly, the culprit of it all stems from some undereducated partner acting out some over ambitious fantasy and chalking it up to having a good ‘fuck’. Let me break it to you, there’s nothing good about this kind of intimacy. The reason I can openly say ‘under-educated’ is simple, and this might come as a shock to some, but the fact is life is not a porno.
Here’s a quick history lesson…
Pornography was originally created, many moons ago, to be an educational tool for husbands and wives to have better sex lives, but quickly shifted into the world of entertainment. Professional studio-created porn was, and still is, acting. A tap can appear like a slap and what looks like a bite is actually a brush of the teeth, all in hopes to heighten the visual allure. And yes, many individuals find the thought of shedding the stink of their own dull, boring, or routine sex lives very appealing. There is a multi-billion-dollar industry that is banking on the fact that you and your partner are ready to take it up a notch in the bedroom.
There are plenty of toys, gadgets, videos and clothing that can help bolster a couple going through a dry spell. Judge-free, if that is for you and your mate. My only advice, understand how it works. Just because you see a pilot fly a plane, doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it. Be sure to do your research on safety, including proper hygiene. And please, only proceed when you know that you and your partner are both on the same page.
Crossing the line…
a very thin line detecting pleasure between pain when it comes to the receptors
in the brain. Even though, there is an incredible difference from the mind
wanting to do that again, or saying, WARNING: Never Again!
you are making someone bleed or say ‘ouch’ during one of the most intimate and
vulnerable moments of your lives, you are doing something really wrong!
I need you to hear this loud and clear: if you are allowing your partner to
cause more pain than pleasure or they are provoking any kind of damage to your
cervix, all in the name of a ‘good-time’, you, too, are doing it wrong!
past week, several newly-released comedies have referred to rough sex and strangulation
as the new normal. This action should not be perceived as the standard in
exploring one another. I’m not criticizing lovers that prefer some titillating
practices. I’m only suggesting you and your partner cultivate a sexual experience
you can both enjoy. Sex is about trust, and like as with anything else in life,
trust builds over time.
There’s a sad truth in which society wants to
take love out of the bedroom and replace it with carnal desires. Not everyone
agrees with this trend. However, if you do agree – fantastic! If that’s your
kind of thing. But don’t remove compassion and call it passion. I think being
adventurous in between the sheets is absolutely healthy, especially when you
and your partner have taken all the proper precautions. Including, and I can’t
stress this enough, you must both be ready and willing!
thumb: if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then you probably shouldn’t be
doing it to your partner unless they request it, and vice versa.
All that being said…
Sexual injuries caused by a consensual sex partner are climbing at an appalling and unpredictable rate. In these such cases, women are on the verge of appearing assaulted. There is no demographical or stereotypical pattern. These are upstanding, strong, educated women. These inflicted injuries have affected a range of individuals who have just met their partner to lovers, who have been ‘experimenting’ within a committed, long-term relationship. The age ranges fluctuate, too. But the one thing that all these cases have in common is the injured party, who is left feeling confused, ashamed and violated. This kind of practice bares some questions.
Is this sexual assault? No. Okay, well then is this consensual? Not exactly. Don’t get hysterical by my choice of words. There is a HUGE difference between someone being forced to do something beyond their will and someone that voluntarily took part in an intimate experience. None-the-less, most of these injured women experienced many moments of pleasure coupled with veins of sheer terror. Hence why, the aftermath takes such a physical and emotional toll. This area is the only shade of this Grey we should be focusing on and fix it before it ruins lives and reputations. No one is saying the individuals in these cases are ready to march in the #metoo movement. But no one, and I mean no one, should be physically hurt or humiliated while partaking in close human contact.
stand up for one another, on so many other important ‘body’ matters nowadays,
it is also time to stand up for intimacy. For women, …and men. And above all,
for the younger generations and the ‘human’ in all of us. Let’s not be fooled
here. Passing off pinned up sexual aggression or re-enacting what you might
have seen on the flat screen as the proper way to engage in a sexual
experience, while your partner isn’t enjoying themselves, is simply yucky!
If you are the dominate…
Please speak openly with your partner on your desires. Respect their boundaries. Have a safe word. And most of all, remember, no means no. Real life isn’t a movie and you are not Christian Grey, okay.
If you are the submissive…
Boldly voice your concerns. Bad choices can bring on regret, but regret doesn’t equal victim. So, don’t be shy to speak up if you aren’t enjoying yourself. If something hurts, tell your partner. And if things are getting out of control, try to smartly defuse the situation without causing confrontation, and do your best to get out of there. Don’t be a victim.
to my source, another thing that should be brought to light is the alarming
misuse of medications among the younger generations. Cocktails mixed with
erection-stimulating meds and/or steroid use in order to lengthen the sexual
experience is causing destressing, unwarranted aggression within the bedroom.
Using medications without doctor’s supervision can cause serious mental issues
like ‘roid-rage’ and/or physical, irrevocable damages to yourself and your
partner. There’s a strong possibility these concoctions are impairing the user
judgment and sensation, causing them to thrust or pounce with more aggression. And
because they’re numb, they are unaware of their vigor and the potential pain
they are inflicting. This combination only has the opportunity of ending in devastating
damage to both parties. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. It’s safer, smarter,
and honestly, more enjoyable to live out your fantasies one round at a time, no
matter how quick it is.
love and desire for your partner does, truthfully, enhance the fantasy world.
However, we all know hook-ups happen. Safety is the first thing to practice in
every sexual situation, starting with protection. Condoms and dental dams
really do reduce the chances of spreading nasty things. So, whether you’re a
man or a woman, if some sly one tells you, ‘It doesn’t feel as good with
protection’. Your only response should be, ‘But it feels so much better than no
Let’s clear up any misunderstandings…
This isn’t men vs. women’s primal desires. This is about achieving desires and not disasters. This isn’t a sexuality issue. This is a sex issue. This isn’t a generational problem. This is a lack-of-information problem. Sex shouldn’t leave someone physically damaged.
all you think you know about the red-room of pain, and have an honest and
colorful conversation about your sexual wants and needs. Don’t let any form of
entertainment give you a false assessment of what real intercourse should be.
We need to address this issue before things get out completely out of hand.
With so many sexual accusations flying around out there and people making laws
about what people can and can’t do with their bodies, this is one of those
situations that can cause a lot of future complications if not discussed and
handled maturely between partners.
At the risk of sounding 100 years-old, you need to understand your body is the most precious thing that you can share with another human being. According to recent surveys, monogamy is making a strong comeback in both heterosexual and LGBT circles. Fantasies are finding ways to becoming healthy realties. And protected sex is considered cool. So, let’s take all the trauma and the 50 Shades of ‘scary’ out of intimacy. Sex should be a beautiful thing. And exploration should feel good. Whether you like it or not, humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. And unlike the necessity it is within the animal kingdom, humans can choose to have sex for pleasure, love and closeness. So, do the rest of the mobile upright a favor, and stop taking yourself and others for granted.
It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.
Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:
They’re Your Best Friend
Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.
You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way
It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.
You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells
Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.
With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.
Ending a relationship is not always easy on your emotions, and even a (very) brief summer romance concluding can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps. Getting back to the person you once were can seem like an impossible task, and it’s easy to head straight for the sad songs and terribly unhealthy food to fill the gap. However, it’s possible to move on if you’re willing to put in some effort and face the situation head on.
Especially useful if your breakup didn’t go so smoothly and there’s bad blood and negative emotion, releasing the anger and other pent up feelings from inside through sport or exercise can give you a new lease of life. Kickboxing is a brilliant way to get out any resentment, and doing a long slow yoga session can help you collect your thoughts and feel more peaceful. Any form of exercise you do will cause your body to release endorphins, which are proven to reduce your perception of pain. Even by going on a run around the block, you’ll be helping yourself tenfold compared to wallowing in self pity inside.
Embrace The Solitude
It may seem like the worst aspect of your break up, but the fact that you now have more time on your own opens up the door to many opportunities. Take some time in the beginning to reflect on the experience in your own time, but in a positive manor. Alone time doesn’t have to have an empty feeling, you just have to occupy your time doing beneficial activities. Run yourself a hot bubble bath, slap on a chocolate face mask and dive into a really great book, the more humorous the storyline the better you will feel. Spending time with yourself should allow you to recharge your batteries and get your head straight.
Rid Yourself Of Social Media
The progression in technology has been beneficial for humankind as a whole, but when you’re fresh out of a relationship it’s like a knife in the back. The temptation of scrolling through your ex’s profile page is unbearable, but it always leads to tears when you see how well they’re appearing to be handling it all. However social media is not reality, and everyone online is creating an artificial persona of who they would like to be. Removing yourself from this type of toxic situation will allow you to grow into a more confident and self assured individual, and give you more of an opportunity to use the time on something more positive and productive. If you don’t to go cold turkey, just unfollow or unfriend you ex partner so you no longer have to see their posts.
The most important thing you must focus on after suffering a heartbreak is yourself. You are the center of your own world, and you have to work to make yourself happy. This is harder to remember whilst sitting in front of your divorce attorney, but hold your head high and make it work for you.
There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.
Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.
There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.
Realise that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love — love is something you discover and build over time
A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.
It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.
It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.
Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.
Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.
Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything
They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.
If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.
Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.
Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act
We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.
In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.
But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.
Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.
Time to See a Psychologist: When You Feel Like You’re Growing Apart
Relationships are about growth. You meet, fall in love, and start a life together. It takes time a patience to build a lasting relationship. However, even in the strongest of relationships, everyone has moments of getting weary.
The honeymoon phase is over
It’s a fictitious timeframe when couples stop being on their best behaviors and get real. This is usually the time when the first heated augments occur. This is the time when you might realize your partner’s annoying habits like leaving the toilet seat up all the time. This might be the time you decide not to wear the most alluring under-garments all the time.
Some people dread the idea of the honeymoon phase coming to an end, but this is really the time when couples make it or break it. It’s a lot smoother of a transition if you decide to be real with your partner early on in the relationship.
Seven year stretch
Your relationship had withstood some time and before you realize, you’ve made it to your 7th anniversary. The seven year stretch sounds like fake news, but scientific studies have shown this phase is real for humans. It’s been proven that whether in a relationship or single, people go through a transition every seven years. As couples hit seven years together, it’s a good time to recognize the growth you’ve done as an individual and as a couple. This is the time to set new goals, maintain togetherness, and cultivate the areas in yourself, your partner, and the parts of the relationship that need a little extra TLC.
Prevent Falling Apart
There’s no guarantee or magic that is fireproof nowadays. People grow at different rates, and there are plenty of distractions out there to pull you away from your partner. However, making a conscious choice to remain focused in your relationship is key. Self-control is the only thing you need to be concerned with. You can’t control your partner, nor should you want to. Having a partner is having a mate who can be your equal, or the yin to your yang.
You might not see eye to eye on everything like you once did, but compromise has gotten you two far in your relationship. Like people take vitamins to prevent sickness, why not invest in marriage counseling before there’s a major problem? Talking to a qualified psychologist to help you two through simple disagreements could perhaps prevent big problems down the line.
Remember every flower grows at different rates. So don’t give up on your partner if they are growing in a different direction or at a different speed. It’s just a sign for you to get to pruning and watering your relationship. I love the quote by Neil Barringham, ‘The grass is greener where you water it’.
Sleeping with someone for the first time can often be a very daunting event. Having only known the person for a short time, it will be very hard to tell how they will want to go through something like this. Of course, though, the worst part about going to bed with someone for the first time is the prospect of embarrassment. To give you an idea of what goes into this, this post will be exploring some of the work which can be done to ensure that you don’t have to deal with shame when you find yourself swept up by the fun.
Keep It Clean
After a long day of walking around and having fun, most people will be in need of a little bit of a freshen up. This isn’t something you’ll always have time for, though, and this means looking for ways to keep yourself clean without having to take five in the bathroom. Websites like the Scary Mommy blog are great when you’re looking for advice in this area. It can be hard to talk to those around you about personal hygiene, but blogs don’t judge.
Dress To Impress
The clothing you wear says a lot about you, and is one of the earliest impressions someone will have when they meet you. Of course, though, when you’re going to bed, these garments will be coming off, and it will be the ones underneath which you’re most concerned about. There are loads of underwear options which are designed to be both pretty and comfortable, nowadays, and this means that you no longer have to choose.
There will always be aspects of your body which you feel worried about, even if you spend loads of time working on it. By simply being honest about this, you can find yourself in a great position, and the person you are with is likely to feel a whole lot more comfortable, as a result. Of course, there are some things which you won’t want to talk about. If you’re worried about something superficial, though, like hair or scars, you don’t have much to worry about.
Do Your Part
This sort of experience can be embarrassing for anyone; not just you. This means that your partner is also likely to be a little worried about your potential reaction to their body, and this is something worth considering. Even if something takes you by surprise, you should work hard to make as little of it as possible, as this will help to keep both parties happy. There is nothing worse than having someone look shocked or amused when they see you naked.
With all of this in mind, you should be feeling ready to take control of the time you spend with others in bed. Feeling embarrassed should never be a part of spending time with someone else like this, thought a lot of people find themselves experiencing it. If you need more help with this, it could be worth talking to a sex expert, as this field can get very complex.
Since it seems to be all the topic on most social media platforms, I have been asked to reflect upon the topic of dating. The Do’s and Don’ts of today. For those not necessarily understanding today’s dating techniques it is a tough platform to tackle.
Over the years so much has changed and now deemed as ‘acceptable’ nature or so-called behavior. What was once known as dating has now become almost a mythical word that has lost meaning, just as ‘courting’ had in the 70’s. Nowadays, it’s almost as if social media decides your fate.
What happened to sending flowers to an address that doesn’t start with www.. or when phone conversations ended because one person fell asleep talking and you stayed on the line just to listen to them breath, because for that moment it was enough? What happened to working disagreements out and fixing problems? Not just acting like, hey I’ll just ignore this and let it build–not say anything and allow it to eventually explode? When did it become acceptable, bouncing from person to person and just leaving people in pieces because communication and motives were never clear, only expectations?
Y’all, love hurts.
I agree, yet expectations hurt even more when led by blinded by love. One of the worst feelings in life is falling in love alone. Both sexes mastered this little game it seems. Because dating has detoured so much, it’s like motives have selfishly changed nowadays. What was once a considered a rebound is, sadly, very popular now and is almost accepted as a relationship status. ‘First base’ and ‘second base’, once took time to access, is now almost expected on a first date by many, when before couples had butterflies even thinking about advancing. It’s so much more when someone can undress your mind.
Here’s a tip, gentlemen undress a womans mind and the body will follow. When advancing too quickly, you cannot touch the passion entrapped within a womans mind. Dont ask her about her imagination, become her imagination. If you feel the need to ask her something, ask her about her passions, her fears, her hopes and dreams. Ask her what she wants in life and what makes her laugh and cry. Take time to discover her favorite color and ask why. Listen to the stories that make her, her.
Those stories created the art that is her. Listen, and in front of your very own eyes, she will allow you the view the creativity through the events and happenings that has helped shape this beautiful woman. You can then see past the visible beauty, and witness her depth, pain, pleasure, vulnerability and the love in which she possesses in her beautiful soul. This my friend is a gift. A gift that you can give each other without a price tag.
Take it back to the days when snap chat and Instagram weren’t dating sites and cheating portals… When ten likes didnt change your mind about a person… When advertising to your following what you want isn’t even close to what you actually desire. Take it back to when catfishing meant there was going to be a good dinner.
All this back and forth mental-game playing, and men this… and women that… blah… blah… blah… We all need to step back and think. We have all been that broken heart, and we all have exes and problems. But remember folks, before social media was in relationships, communication between two people existed. Studies have shone, relationships worked out alot longer just a short decade ago. I’m not bashing social media. Guys and Gals remember, social media doesn’t ruin relationships, acting single or disrespectful towards your partner on social media in public/private chat rooms, does!
If you are searching for a lady, then be a gentleman. Ladies, if you want a gentleman, then simply be a lady. Chivalry is not dead, it’s just waiting to be, as they say today, digitally remastered by those who value its lost meaning.
We add all these new words to the dictionary every year that make no sense. Yet these don’t change… Love, commitment, honesty, trust, chivalry, dating, communication, integrity, humanity, respect, dedication, desire, passion, and the most evil one of all, lust. One must remember, in life, the most beautiful things are seen with the eyes closed. With eyes closed, you are led by trust. With eyes open, you’re often blinded by lust. Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do. Be open about what you want from the beginning. When it’s out on the table then it’s so much easier to understand–no guessing games, no one being led on, and no surprises.
Like the most famous misquote of Eldridge Cleaver, ‘If you’re not the solution, you are part of the problem.’ It’s simple, bring back LOVE.