If you are single, and you are looking to find someone soon, then you are going to need to make sure that you are doing whatever you can to make that happen. If you have been single for a long time and you are becoming impatient, then it is going to be especially important that you do this in the right way. Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to meet people, but that does not mean that it is not going to be a challenge to make it work out for you. However, in this article we are going to take a look only at the best prospects of how you can meet someone new in the first place. As long as you try out these possibilities, you should find that you are going to find someone new soon enough.
If you are keen to meet someone, but you are perhaps a little shy, then you might find that phone dating is a good way to go. This can be a nice way to introduce yourself to someone and to meet a few potential suitors, and yet in a way which means that you don’t even need to leave your home. For many people, that is a useful way to get through the initial nerves of meeting someone. You might even think about starting to meet new people this way, and then moving on to other methods, or meeting some of those people in person after the fact. In any case, it’s worth considering.
Clubs & Groups
A good way to find someone who is going to be good for you is to go out and start engaging in hobbies which you like to partake in, especially group ones. If you can find groups and clubs for these, then you should be able to ensure that you are going to meet people who are absolutely like-minded, and that is a sure sign that you will be able to find someone new who is going to be good for you. Such clubs and groups are going to be a great idea, so it is worth looking into this at your earliest convenience. What kind of groups are in your area that you might want to think about joining?
Of course, many of the traditional means of meeting someone are still relevant, which is why you might also want to think about going out to singles bars and trying to meet someone that way. These can be nerve-wracking places for many people, but in many ways putting yourself out there in those scary situations is going to mean that you are doing a lot for your confidence anyway. If you think you are not capable of this, that might mean that it is going to be the kind of thing that you should actually be doing. And who knows: you might even meet the person of your dreams in the process, and really hit it off with them.
If you’re worried about your health and you’re looking for advice when it comes to focussing on your wellbeing then don’t worry, you have definitely come to the right place. From improving your diet to spending time with people that make you happy, there are lots of different things you can do as a woman to ensure you’re being as healthy as you can be. With that in mind, here are 4 ways to look after your health as a woman:
One of the most important aspects of looking after your health is knowing when it is the right time to visit a doctor. Whether you’re struggling with a physical problem or you’ve been experiencing problems with your mental health, you need to know when it’s time to book an appointment. If you’re unsure, you might want to consider asking a professionals advice too. In most cases, you will find that you can call your doctor’s surgery and ask if you need to see someone or if you can visit a pharmacy instead.
Another great way to look after your health is to ensure you are sticking to a healthy diet. Although this doesn’t mean you need to count your calories, it does mean you need to think about what you are eating and when. If possible, try to limit the number of treats you’re eating.
When it comes to drinking water, you need to have at least 2 litres a day. If you struggle to drink enough water and you need a little bit of guidance, you can visit this site here.
– Look After Your Sexual Health
When it comes to looking after your health as a woman, you need to make sure you are doing everything you can to look after your sexual health. Whether that means practising safe sex or seeing a doctor to treat vaginosis, you need to put your health first. If you need more information when it comes to bacterial vaginosis treatment and how it can affect you, you can visit this handy site here.
– Surround Yourself With People That Make You Smile
Finally, you need to surround yourself with people that make you smile. Looking after your mental health is incredibly important and one of the best ways to look after your wellbeing is to be with people that you love and care about. Whether that means spending time with your family at home or visiting your friends in the city, the more time you spend with them the better.
Do you worry about your health as a woman? What can you do to ensure you’re being as healthy as you possibly can? Did we miss anything off of the list? Let me know your thoughts and ideas in the comments section below.
Being in a relationship is always going to cause some issues. It’s impossible to be in a relationship that’s functioning well for such a long period of time, it just doesn’t exist. Once you get through that honeymoon phase period, everything just seems to settle down, and the magical period that you created for yourself melts away, and the argument start to come in. The arguments come in because you’re both so much more comfortable around each other, and it’s so easy to pick up on all of the things that you might have been turning a blind eye to before. All of the sudden the quirks that you used to think were cute, you hate the thought of. And when you start to spend so much time around someone, you start to notice all of the things that might irritate you about them. So, we’re going to try and prepare you for some of the things you might not see coming in a relationship, and how to deal with them. Because you really do want to make sure that you’re either fighting for, or running from your relationship, rather than letting one drag on when it shouldn’t do!
It’s often a very secretive place, the bedroom, but there are problems that are being spoken about during office gossip that seem to be becoming more prominent. In an ideal world, everything in the bedroom would be perfectly ok, all of the time. But some women are experiencing problems with their partner, such as pornography addiction. Some men have such a big problem with this, and you won’t notice it until it starts to affect your own love life, which might be once you do get a little bit more comfortable with each other, and the intense passion starts to die down. If you think you’re dealing with this problem, simply sensitively talk to your partner about it, and be open and honest. Communication can save so many relationships, even if you might be a little embarrassed to talk about it to begin with!
Secret Money Problems
It’s not like there’s an interview process when you find yourself in a relationship, and it won’t be that you find out absolutely everything about them, they will try and hide certain things. One of those things would definitely be money problems, and it won’t be until you find yourself paying for more, or listening to them talk about their struggle to afford things, that it might click in your head that something is wrong. So again, try and get them to talk to a financial advisor, and try and help them work through it. The more you’re there for support, the stronger your relationship is going to grow!
When you get into a relationship, you really do get into a relationship with their family as well, and it might not always be the best affair. So always make sure you’re trying to make an effort to bond with their family, because it might be that they think you’re taking your partner away from them, and simple effort with them could solve all of that!
It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship.
You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together.
Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them.
If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward.
It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.
This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs.
Sex and trust
You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line.
You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner.
If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships.
There are many ways you can stay fit and healthy for your body, but what about sexuality? Sex is a part of everyone, you can’t help being who you are and we all have urges. However rather than thinking about sexy only when we want it, we need to start living a more sexually healthy lifestyle as well. For example, you may not even know that there are certain things you can do to improve your sexdrive and the health of your reproductive organs. We can’t demand our respective tools to jump into life whenever we want them to and not be in some kind of discomfort. We need to have a good heart first of all as our blood pressure and heart rate massively spike when we are in the act. We also need to stay active in between each meeting and that requires some different kinds of exercises.
For your benefit
The fat distribution for men and women is very different. Men store most of their fat on their upper body. Usually it’s all around their stomach and on the waist. For women however it’s mostly in the lower body such as in the hips, buttocks and legs. So to help your body be more ready for sex, you should workout these areas the more often. You don’t need to do weight training as this will burn off a lot of fat which you need. Instead you should do aerobics that focus on your buttocks and legs. This can be things like standing bodyweight squats, calf toning exercises and lunges to improve your rear. Overall this helps your joints as well, making you more flexible and improving your overall stamina too.
On the go
You’d be surprised at how many couples have spontaneous sex. It’s not all about pre-planned meals with candlelights and romantic music. Many people would prefer to just have sex when they want it no matter where it is than have it planned. It’s just more exciting that way, but don’t forget you don’t want any unplanned mishaps. The benefit of pre-planned sex is that you can plan it out; obviously. So if you’re on the go, don’t make the unfortunate mistake of not carrying contraception options. You have many different contraceptive measures for men but also for women. It’s not just the pill, but things like the femidom and the ring. These things will help you and your partner have safer sex and prevent diseases from spreading or any unwanted pregnancies from occuring.
Engage in fantasy
Believe it not, sex can get boring. If it’s just too predictable it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. So engage in fantasy. Talk about your sexual desires, secrets and fantasies with your partner. But don’t just talk about them, act them out. You can fulfill each other’s fantasies and mix it up a bit. Keep sex fun, adventurous and indulge in your guilty pleasures.
Many of us aren’t worried about sex until we need it. You should work to have a better, healthier sex life by keeping your body is tip top shape. Engage in fantasies and spontaneous sex, but always be careful and be safe as well.
The role of women has never been more under the microscope. What with the Me Too movement and the gender pay gap, there are lots of reasons to think men are on top. However, being a woman is incredible. The alternative is to be a man, and we can all agree it isn’t on our bucket list, ladies! And, if you think this is a post to big up women without any evidence, you’re wrong. Womanhood is supported by science, and the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So, carry on reading to find out more and eat up these undeniable reasons being a woman is awesome.
We Don’t Need A Man
That’s according to a recent study in The Guardian. Something ladies have known for ages is that there is no need for a man in life. Sure, finding a partner to spend forever with is an incredible experience, but it doesn’t define women. Men need it because it calms them down and adds another string to their bow; we, on the other hand, are more likely to die early. And, it isn’t only men because the girls don’t need kids either as unmarried women without children is the happiest group. The next time someone questions your independence hit them with this nugget.
We’re Better Drivers
The adage is that men are better drivers, but that’s been disproved. A recent study published in Harper’s Bazaar shows women are better than men because they’re less likely to be involved in an accident. While the guys need the experts at Eric Ramos Law on speed dial, we don’t have to worry about our health on the road. There are knock-effects, too. Being safer drivers means insurance premiums for women are lower and we have more money in our back pockets.
We Communicate Better
A study by the University of Manchester found that women are better communicators than men. Why? It’s because they speak for the sake of it and we get to the point. Let’s face it – this research is about as reliable as it gets! Not only is the stereotype that women are gossipers not true; we’re more succinct too. The reason this is important is varied, from being more efficient and not wasting time to expressing how we feel. The latter might seem corny but it’s an integral part of a successful relationship, not that we need one anyway!
We Live Longer
If you thought being a woman didn’t get any better, wait until you hear this one: our life expectancy is higher. The reasons haven’t been pinned down yet, but it’s thought women live longer for biological child-bearing purposes. Regardless, we get all of the benefits above and we get to enjoy them for longer. Sure, there are some drawbacks to womanhood, but we’re working on that too with more representation in the workplace and the boardroom. Oh, and sexual harassment and is on the decline as well.
Sorry guys, but it looks as if you’re the ones who’ve picked the short straw. Ouch!
Grey Area of Consensual
Sex: You Are Not 50 Shades of Christian Grey
By: Tia Cristy
first time I saw 50 Shades of Grey was at a private promotional showing with
about fifty of my co-workers, including my boss and his wife… Awkward.
Nevertheless, no matter how uncomfortable
the situation was, in which I was watching the box-office porn, the fact was
the title was becoming a household name worldwide.
People of all ages were getting the inside scoop on non-disclosed kink. Even my
dad, who never saw the movie, nor read the books, could make references to the
storyline. Talk about really awkward—Side note: I’m now a firm believer that
some things should never be discussed between a father and a daughter.
after the movie hit nationwide, the increase of emergency room visits due to
sexually related injuries jumped up to a huge 20%. As a Lifestyle Blogger that
preaches on sexual health, I felt it was imperative to work with the right
experts to help couples learn proper etiquette in spicing up their love life. I
started to publish posts and infographics on things like, Introduction to
Bondage. I thought if curious men and women had
the right information, they could safely venture into uncharted territories
without ending up in the ER. Right?
Let’s skip ahead…
50 Shades Trilogy now available OnDemand… I sat down with a gynecologist specialist, who has been my long-time confidential source for Sexual Health. We discussed some incredibly disturbing stats. The increasing cases of women coming into her office with serious sexual trauma that was encountered during consensual sex is staggering. ‘Smash, pound, break or tear up’ have all been used as synonyms for sex, but these words should never be taken literal. Women have resulted in being beaten, strangled, scratched, bitten, torn, etc. all with the intent of having enjoyable, agreed-upon sex.
Whether it was called making love, a booty-call or simply a good-time, at some point the objective of pleasurable sex went terribly wrong amidst intercourse. External and internal injuries were obtained. Short-term and long-term damages were done physically as well as emotionally. And sadly, the culprit of it all stems from some undereducated partner acting out some over ambitious fantasy and chalking it up to having a good ‘fuck’. Let me break it to you, there’s nothing good about this kind of intimacy. The reason I can openly say ‘under-educated’ is simple, and this might come as a shock to some, but the fact is life is not a porno.
Here’s a quick history lesson…
Pornography was originally created, many moons ago, to be an educational tool for husbands and wives to have better sex lives, but quickly shifted into the world of entertainment. Professional studio-created porn was, and still is, acting. A tap can appear like a slap and what looks like a bite is actually a brush of the teeth, all in hopes to heighten the visual allure. And yes, many individuals find the thought of shedding the stink of their own dull, boring, or routine sex lives very appealing. There is a multi-billion-dollar industry that is banking on the fact that you and your partner are ready to take it up a notch in the bedroom.
There are plenty of toys, gadgets, videos and clothing that can help bolster a couple going through a dry spell. Judge-free, if that is for you and your mate. My only advice, understand how it works. Just because you see a pilot fly a plane, doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it. Be sure to do your research on safety, including proper hygiene. And please, only proceed when you know that you and your partner are both on the same page.
Crossing the line…
a very thin line detecting pleasure between pain when it comes to the receptors
in the brain. Even though, there is an incredible difference from the mind
wanting to do that again, or saying, WARNING: Never Again!
you are making someone bleed or say ‘ouch’ during one of the most intimate and
vulnerable moments of your lives, you are doing something really wrong!
I need you to hear this loud and clear: if you are allowing your partner to
cause more pain than pleasure or they are provoking any kind of damage to your
cervix, all in the name of a ‘good-time’, you, too, are doing it wrong!
past week, several newly-released comedies have referred to rough sex and strangulation
as the new normal. This action should not be perceived as the standard in
exploring one another. I’m not criticizing lovers that prefer some titillating
practices. I’m only suggesting you and your partner cultivate a sexual experience
you can both enjoy. Sex is about trust, and like as with anything else in life,
trust builds over time.
There’s a sad truth in which society wants to
take love out of the bedroom and replace it with carnal desires. Not everyone
agrees with this trend. However, if you do agree – fantastic! If that’s your
kind of thing. But don’t remove compassion and call it passion. I think being
adventurous in between the sheets is absolutely healthy, especially when you
and your partner have taken all the proper precautions. Including, and I can’t
stress this enough, you must both be ready and willing!
thumb: if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then you probably shouldn’t be
doing it to your partner unless they request it, and vice versa.
All that being said…
Sexual injuries caused by a consensual sex partner are climbing at an appalling and unpredictable rate. In these such cases, women are on the verge of appearing assaulted. There is no demographical or stereotypical pattern. These are upstanding, strong, educated women. These inflicted injuries have affected a range of individuals who have just met their partner to lovers, who have been ‘experimenting’ within a committed, long-term relationship. The age ranges fluctuate, too. But the one thing that all these cases have in common is the injured party, who is left feeling confused, ashamed and violated. This kind of practice bares some questions.
Is this sexual assault? No. Okay, well then is this consensual? Not exactly. Don’t get hysterical by my choice of words. There is a HUGE difference between someone being forced to do something beyond their will and someone that voluntarily took part in an intimate experience. None-the-less, most of these injured women experienced many moments of pleasure coupled with veins of sheer terror. Hence why, the aftermath takes such a physical and emotional toll. This area is the only shade of this Grey we should be focusing on and fix it before it ruins lives and reputations. No one is saying the individuals in these cases are ready to march in the #metoo movement. But no one, and I mean no one, should be physically hurt or humiliated while partaking in close human contact.
stand up for one another, on so many other important ‘body’ matters nowadays,
it is also time to stand up for intimacy. For women, …and men. And above all,
for the younger generations and the ‘human’ in all of us. Let’s not be fooled
here. Passing off pinned up sexual aggression or re-enacting what you might
have seen on the flat screen as the proper way to engage in a sexual
experience, while your partner isn’t enjoying themselves, is simply yucky!
If you are the dominate…
Please speak openly with your partner on your desires. Respect their boundaries. Have a safe word. And most of all, remember, no means no. Real life isn’t a movie and you are not Christian Grey, okay.
If you are the submissive…
Boldly voice your concerns. Bad choices can bring on regret, but regret doesn’t equal victim. So, don’t be shy to speak up if you aren’t enjoying yourself. If something hurts, tell your partner. And if things are getting out of control, try to smartly defuse the situation without causing confrontation, and do your best to get out of there. Don’t be a victim.
to my source, another thing that should be brought to light is the alarming
misuse of medications among the younger generations. Cocktails mixed with
erection-stimulating meds and/or steroid use in order to lengthen the sexual
experience is causing destressing, unwarranted aggression within the bedroom.
Using medications without doctor’s supervision can cause serious mental issues
like ‘roid-rage’ and/or physical, irrevocable damages to yourself and your
partner. There’s a strong possibility these concoctions are impairing the user
judgment and sensation, causing them to thrust or pounce with more aggression. And
because they’re numb, they are unaware of their vigor and the potential pain
they are inflicting. This combination only has the opportunity of ending in devastating
damage to both parties. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. It’s safer, smarter,
and honestly, more enjoyable to live out your fantasies one round at a time, no
matter how quick it is.
love and desire for your partner does, truthfully, enhance the fantasy world.
However, we all know hook-ups happen. Safety is the first thing to practice in
every sexual situation, starting with protection. Condoms and dental dams
really do reduce the chances of spreading nasty things. So, whether you’re a
man or a woman, if some sly one tells you, ‘It doesn’t feel as good with
protection’. Your only response should be, ‘But it feels so much better than no
Let’s clear up any misunderstandings…
This isn’t men vs. women’s primal desires. This is about achieving desires and not disasters. This isn’t a sexuality issue. This is a sex issue. This isn’t a generational problem. This is a lack-of-information problem. Sex shouldn’t leave someone physically damaged.
all you think you know about the red-room of pain, and have an honest and
colorful conversation about your sexual wants and needs. Don’t let any form of
entertainment give you a false assessment of what real intercourse should be.
We need to address this issue before things get out completely out of hand.
With so many sexual accusations flying around out there and people making laws
about what people can and can’t do with their bodies, this is one of those
situations that can cause a lot of future complications if not discussed and
handled maturely between partners.
At the risk of sounding 100 years-old, you need to understand your body is the most precious thing that you can share with another human being. According to recent surveys, monogamy is making a strong comeback in both heterosexual and LGBT circles. Fantasies are finding ways to becoming healthy realties. And protected sex is considered cool. So, let’s take all the trauma and the 50 Shades of ‘scary’ out of intimacy. Sex should be a beautiful thing. And exploration should feel good. Whether you like it or not, humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. And unlike the necessity it is within the animal kingdom, humans can choose to have sex for pleasure, love and closeness. So, do the rest of the mobile upright a favor, and stop taking yourself and others for granted.
It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.
Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:
They’re Your Best Friend
Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.
You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way
It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.
You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells
Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.
With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.
Ending a relationship is not always easy on your emotions, and even a (very) brief summer romance concluding can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps. Getting back to the person you once were can seem like an impossible task, and it’s easy to head straight for the sad songs and terribly unhealthy food to fill the gap. However, it’s possible to move on if you’re willing to put in some effort and face the situation head on.
Especially useful if your breakup didn’t go so smoothly and there’s bad blood and negative emotion, releasing the anger and other pent up feelings from inside through sport or exercise can give you a new lease of life. Kickboxing is a brilliant way to get out any resentment, and doing a long slow yoga session can help you collect your thoughts and feel more peaceful. Any form of exercise you do will cause your body to release endorphins, which are proven to reduce your perception of pain. Even by going on a run around the block, you’ll be helping yourself tenfold compared to wallowing in self pity inside.
Embrace The Solitude
It may seem like the worst aspect of your break up, but the fact that you now have more time on your own opens up the door to many opportunities. Take some time in the beginning to reflect on the experience in your own time, but in a positive manor. Alone time doesn’t have to have an empty feeling, you just have to occupy your time doing beneficial activities. Run yourself a hot bubble bath, slap on a chocolate face mask and dive into a really great book, the more humorous the storyline the better you will feel. Spending time with yourself should allow you to recharge your batteries and get your head straight.
Rid Yourself Of Social Media
The progression in technology has been beneficial for humankind as a whole, but when you’re fresh out of a relationship it’s like a knife in the back. The temptation of scrolling through your ex’s profile page is unbearable, but it always leads to tears when you see how well they’re appearing to be handling it all. However social media is not reality, and everyone online is creating an artificial persona of who they would like to be. Removing yourself from this type of toxic situation will allow you to grow into a more confident and self assured individual, and give you more of an opportunity to use the time on something more positive and productive. If you don’t to go cold turkey, just unfollow or unfriend you ex partner so you no longer have to see their posts.
The most important thing you must focus on after suffering a heartbreak is yourself. You are the center of your own world, and you have to work to make yourself happy. This is harder to remember whilst sitting in front of your divorce attorney, but hold your head high and make it work for you.
There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.
Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.
There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.
Realise that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love — love is something you discover and build over time
A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.
It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.
It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.
Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.
Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.
Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything
They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.
If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.
Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.
Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act
We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.
In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.
But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.
Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.