It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship.
You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together.
Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them.
If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward.
It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.
This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs.
Sex and trust
You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line.
You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner.
If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships.
There are many ways you can stay fit and healthy for your body, but what about sexuality? Sex is a part of everyone, you can’t help being who you are and we all have urges. However rather than thinking about sexy only when we want it, we need to start living a more sexually healthy lifestyle as well. For example, you may not even know that there are certain things you can do to improve your sexdrive and the health of your reproductive organs. We can’t demand our respective tools to jump into life whenever we want them to and not be in some kind of discomfort. We need to have a good heart first of all as our blood pressure and heart rate massively spike when we are in the act. We also need to stay active in between each meeting and that requires some different kinds of exercises.
For your benefit
The fat distribution for men and women is very different. Men store most of their fat on their upper body. Usually it’s all around their stomach and on the waist. For women however it’s mostly in the lower body such as in the hips, buttocks and legs. So to help your body be more ready for sex, you should workout these areas the more often. You don’t need to do weight training as this will burn off a lot of fat which you need. Instead you should do aerobics that focus on your buttocks and legs. This can be things like standing bodyweight squats, calf toning exercises and lunges to improve your rear. Overall this helps your joints as well, making you more flexible and improving your overall stamina too.
On the go
You’d be surprised at how many couples have spontaneous sex. It’s not all about pre-planned meals with candlelights and romantic music. Many people would prefer to just have sex when they want it no matter where it is than have it planned. It’s just more exciting that way, but don’t forget you don’t want any unplanned mishaps. The benefit of pre-planned sex is that you can plan it out; obviously. So if you’re on the go, don’t make the unfortunate mistake of not carrying contraception options. You have many different contraceptive measures for men but also for women. It’s not just the pill, but things like the femidom and the ring. These things will help you and your partner have safer sex and prevent diseases from spreading or any unwanted pregnancies from occuring.
Engage in fantasy
Believe it not, sex can get boring. If it’s just too predictable it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. So engage in fantasy. Talk about your sexual desires, secrets and fantasies with your partner. But don’t just talk about them, act them out. You can fulfill each other’s fantasies and mix it up a bit. Keep sex fun, adventurous and indulge in your guilty pleasures.
Many of us aren’t worried about sex until we need it. You should work to have a better, healthier sex life by keeping your body is tip top shape. Engage in fantasies and spontaneous sex, but always be careful and be safe as well.
Grey Area of Consensual
Sex: You Are Not 50 Shades of Christian Grey
By: Tia Cristy
first time I saw 50 Shades of Grey was at a private promotional showing with
about fifty of my co-workers, including my boss and his wife… Awkward.
Nevertheless, no matter how uncomfortable
the situation was, in which I was watching the box-office porn, the fact was
the title was becoming a household name worldwide.
People of all ages were getting the inside scoop on non-disclosed kink. Even my
dad, who never saw the movie, nor read the books, could make references to the
storyline. Talk about really awkward—Side note: I’m now a firm believer that
some things should never be discussed between a father and a daughter.
after the movie hit nationwide, the increase of emergency room visits due to
sexually related injuries jumped up to a huge 20%. As a Lifestyle Blogger that
preaches on sexual health, I felt it was imperative to work with the right
experts to help couples learn proper etiquette in spicing up their love life. I
started to publish posts and infographics on things like, Introduction to
Bondage. I thought if curious men and women had
the right information, they could safely venture into uncharted territories
without ending up in the ER. Right?
Let’s skip ahead…
50 Shades Trilogy now available OnDemand… I sat down with a gynecologist specialist, who has been my long-time confidential source for Sexual Health. We discussed some incredibly disturbing stats. The increasing cases of women coming into her office with serious sexual trauma that was encountered during consensual sex is staggering. ‘Smash, pound, break or tear up’ have all been used as synonyms for sex, but these words should never be taken literal. Women have resulted in being beaten, strangled, scratched, bitten, torn, etc. all with the intent of having enjoyable, agreed-upon sex.
Whether it was called making love, a booty-call or simply a good-time, at some point the objective of pleasurable sex went terribly wrong amidst intercourse. External and internal injuries were obtained. Short-term and long-term damages were done physically as well as emotionally. And sadly, the culprit of it all stems from some undereducated partner acting out some over ambitious fantasy and chalking it up to having a good ‘fuck’. Let me break it to you, there’s nothing good about this kind of intimacy. The reason I can openly say ‘under-educated’ is simple, and this might come as a shock to some, but the fact is life is not a porno.
Here’s a quick history lesson…
Pornography was originally created, many moons ago, to be an educational tool for husbands and wives to have better sex lives, but quickly shifted into the world of entertainment. Professional studio-created porn was, and still is, acting. A tap can appear like a slap and what looks like a bite is actually a brush of the teeth, all in hopes to heighten the visual allure. And yes, many individuals find the thought of shedding the stink of their own dull, boring, or routine sex lives very appealing. There is a multi-billion-dollar industry that is banking on the fact that you and your partner are ready to take it up a notch in the bedroom.
There are plenty of toys, gadgets, videos and clothing that can help bolster a couple going through a dry spell. Judge-free, if that is for you and your mate. My only advice, understand how it works. Just because you see a pilot fly a plane, doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it. Be sure to do your research on safety, including proper hygiene. And please, only proceed when you know that you and your partner are both on the same page.
Crossing the line…
a very thin line detecting pleasure between pain when it comes to the receptors
in the brain. Even though, there is an incredible difference from the mind
wanting to do that again, or saying, WARNING: Never Again!
you are making someone bleed or say ‘ouch’ during one of the most intimate and
vulnerable moments of your lives, you are doing something really wrong!
I need you to hear this loud and clear: if you are allowing your partner to
cause more pain than pleasure or they are provoking any kind of damage to your
cervix, all in the name of a ‘good-time’, you, too, are doing it wrong!
past week, several newly-released comedies have referred to rough sex and strangulation
as the new normal. This action should not be perceived as the standard in
exploring one another. I’m not criticizing lovers that prefer some titillating
practices. I’m only suggesting you and your partner cultivate a sexual experience
you can both enjoy. Sex is about trust, and like as with anything else in life,
trust builds over time.
There’s a sad truth in which society wants to
take love out of the bedroom and replace it with carnal desires. Not everyone
agrees with this trend. However, if you do agree – fantastic! If that’s your
kind of thing. But don’t remove compassion and call it passion. I think being
adventurous in between the sheets is absolutely healthy, especially when you
and your partner have taken all the proper precautions. Including, and I can’t
stress this enough, you must both be ready and willing!
thumb: if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then you probably shouldn’t be
doing it to your partner unless they request it, and vice versa.
All that being said…
Sexual injuries caused by a consensual sex partner are climbing at an appalling and unpredictable rate. In these such cases, women are on the verge of appearing assaulted. There is no demographical or stereotypical pattern. These are upstanding, strong, educated women. These inflicted injuries have affected a range of individuals who have just met their partner to lovers, who have been ‘experimenting’ within a committed, long-term relationship. The age ranges fluctuate, too. But the one thing that all these cases have in common is the injured party, who is left feeling confused, ashamed and violated. This kind of practice bares some questions.
Is this sexual assault? No. Okay, well then is this consensual? Not exactly. Don’t get hysterical by my choice of words. There is a HUGE difference between someone being forced to do something beyond their will and someone that voluntarily took part in an intimate experience. None-the-less, most of these injured women experienced many moments of pleasure coupled with veins of sheer terror. Hence why, the aftermath takes such a physical and emotional toll. This area is the only shade of this Grey we should be focusing on and fix it before it ruins lives and reputations. No one is saying the individuals in these cases are ready to march in the #metoo movement. But no one, and I mean no one, should be physically hurt or humiliated while partaking in close human contact.
stand up for one another, on so many other important ‘body’ matters nowadays,
it is also time to stand up for intimacy. For women, …and men. And above all,
for the younger generations and the ‘human’ in all of us. Let’s not be fooled
here. Passing off pinned up sexual aggression or re-enacting what you might
have seen on the flat screen as the proper way to engage in a sexual
experience, while your partner isn’t enjoying themselves, is simply yucky!
If you are the dominate…
Please speak openly with your partner on your desires. Respect their boundaries. Have a safe word. And most of all, remember, no means no. Real life isn’t a movie and you are not Christian Grey, okay.
If you are the submissive…
Boldly voice your concerns. Bad choices can bring on regret, but regret doesn’t equal victim. So, don’t be shy to speak up if you aren’t enjoying yourself. If something hurts, tell your partner. And if things are getting out of control, try to smartly defuse the situation without causing confrontation, and do your best to get out of there. Don’t be a victim.
to my source, another thing that should be brought to light is the alarming
misuse of medications among the younger generations. Cocktails mixed with
erection-stimulating meds and/or steroid use in order to lengthen the sexual
experience is causing destressing, unwarranted aggression within the bedroom.
Using medications without doctor’s supervision can cause serious mental issues
like ‘roid-rage’ and/or physical, irrevocable damages to yourself and your
partner. There’s a strong possibility these concoctions are impairing the user
judgment and sensation, causing them to thrust or pounce with more aggression. And
because they’re numb, they are unaware of their vigor and the potential pain
they are inflicting. This combination only has the opportunity of ending in devastating
damage to both parties. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. It’s safer, smarter,
and honestly, more enjoyable to live out your fantasies one round at a time, no
matter how quick it is.
love and desire for your partner does, truthfully, enhance the fantasy world.
However, we all know hook-ups happen. Safety is the first thing to practice in
every sexual situation, starting with protection. Condoms and dental dams
really do reduce the chances of spreading nasty things. So, whether you’re a
man or a woman, if some sly one tells you, ‘It doesn’t feel as good with
protection’. Your only response should be, ‘But it feels so much better than no
Let’s clear up any misunderstandings…
This isn’t men vs. women’s primal desires. This is about achieving desires and not disasters. This isn’t a sexuality issue. This is a sex issue. This isn’t a generational problem. This is a lack-of-information problem. Sex shouldn’t leave someone physically damaged.
all you think you know about the red-room of pain, and have an honest and
colorful conversation about your sexual wants and needs. Don’t let any form of
entertainment give you a false assessment of what real intercourse should be.
We need to address this issue before things get out completely out of hand.
With so many sexual accusations flying around out there and people making laws
about what people can and can’t do with their bodies, this is one of those
situations that can cause a lot of future complications if not discussed and
handled maturely between partners.
At the risk of sounding 100 years-old, you need to understand your body is the most precious thing that you can share with another human being. According to recent surveys, monogamy is making a strong comeback in both heterosexual and LGBT circles. Fantasies are finding ways to becoming healthy realties. And protected sex is considered cool. So, let’s take all the trauma and the 50 Shades of ‘scary’ out of intimacy. Sex should be a beautiful thing. And exploration should feel good. Whether you like it or not, humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. And unlike the necessity it is within the animal kingdom, humans can choose to have sex for pleasure, love and closeness. So, do the rest of the mobile upright a favor, and stop taking yourself and others for granted.
There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.
Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.
There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.
Realise that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love — love is something you discover and build over time
A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.
It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.
It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.
Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.
Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.
Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything
They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.
If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.
Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.
Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act
We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.
In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.
But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.
Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.
Time to See a Psychologist: When You Feel Like You’re Growing Apart
Relationships are about growth. You meet, fall in love, and start a life together. It takes time a patience to build a lasting relationship. However, even in the strongest of relationships, everyone has moments of getting weary.
The honeymoon phase is over
It’s a fictitious timeframe when couples stop being on their best behaviors and get real. This is usually the time when the first heated augments occur. This is the time when you might realize your partner’s annoying habits like leaving the toilet seat up all the time. This might be the time you decide not to wear the most alluring under-garments all the time.
Some people dread the idea of the honeymoon phase coming to an end, but this is really the time when couples make it or break it. It’s a lot smoother of a transition if you decide to be real with your partner early on in the relationship.
Seven year stretch
Your relationship had withstood some time and before you realize, you’ve made it to your 7th anniversary. The seven year stretch sounds like fake news, but scientific studies have shown this phase is real for humans. It’s been proven that whether in a relationship or single, people go through a transition every seven years. As couples hit seven years together, it’s a good time to recognize the growth you’ve done as an individual and as a couple. This is the time to set new goals, maintain togetherness, and cultivate the areas in yourself, your partner, and the parts of the relationship that need a little extra TLC.
Prevent Falling Apart
There’s no guarantee or magic that is fireproof nowadays. People grow at different rates, and there are plenty of distractions out there to pull you away from your partner. However, making a conscious choice to remain focused in your relationship is key. Self-control is the only thing you need to be concerned with. You can’t control your partner, nor should you want to. Having a partner is having a mate who can be your equal, or the yin to your yang.
You might not see eye to eye on everything like you once did, but compromise has gotten you two far in your relationship. Like people take vitamins to prevent sickness, why not invest in marriage counseling before there’s a major problem? Talking to a qualified psychologist to help you two through simple disagreements could perhaps prevent big problems down the line.
Remember every flower grows at different rates. So don’t give up on your partner if they are growing in a different direction or at a different speed. It’s just a sign for you to get to pruning and watering your relationship. I love the quote by Neil Barringham, ‘The grass is greener where you water it’.
Sleeping with someone for the first time can often be a very daunting event. Having only known the person for a short time, it will be very hard to tell how they will want to go through something like this. Of course, though, the worst part about going to bed with someone for the first time is the prospect of embarrassment. To give you an idea of what goes into this, this post will be exploring some of the work which can be done to ensure that you don’t have to deal with shame when you find yourself swept up by the fun.
Keep It Clean
After a long day of walking around and having fun, most people will be in need of a little bit of a freshen up. This isn’t something you’ll always have time for, though, and this means looking for ways to keep yourself clean without having to take five in the bathroom. Websites like the Scary Mommy blog are great when you’re looking for advice in this area. It can be hard to talk to those around you about personal hygiene, but blogs don’t judge.
Dress To Impress
The clothing you wear says a lot about you, and is one of the earliest impressions someone will have when they meet you. Of course, though, when you’re going to bed, these garments will be coming off, and it will be the ones underneath which you’re most concerned about. There are loads of underwear options which are designed to be both pretty and comfortable, nowadays, and this means that you no longer have to choose.
There will always be aspects of your body which you feel worried about, even if you spend loads of time working on it. By simply being honest about this, you can find yourself in a great position, and the person you are with is likely to feel a whole lot more comfortable, as a result. Of course, there are some things which you won’t want to talk about. If you’re worried about something superficial, though, like hair or scars, you don’t have much to worry about.
Do Your Part
This sort of experience can be embarrassing for anyone; not just you. This means that your partner is also likely to be a little worried about your potential reaction to their body, and this is something worth considering. Even if something takes you by surprise, you should work hard to make as little of it as possible, as this will help to keep both parties happy. There is nothing worse than having someone look shocked or amused when they see you naked.
With all of this in mind, you should be feeling ready to take control of the time you spend with others in bed. Feeling embarrassed should never be a part of spending time with someone else like this, thought a lot of people find themselves experiencing it. If you need more help with this, it could be worth talking to a sex expert, as this field can get very complex.
Dating in the millennial world is like strolling through the jungle ofravenous beasts. As soon as you fire up your dating app, trolls and predatorsflock to your profile, hell-bent on tearing your confidence into pieces. Terrifying, right? While the situation is not necessarily as drastic as presented (though it truly happens to numerous unwitting love-seekers), finding genuine love in the millennial world is turning into an exception. Getting tothe root cause of why “making it work” has become a miracle is not particularlyhard. Rendering the process easier is a significantly harder riddle to solve.
Commitment issues are rampant
The problem mostly lies in the fact that millennial generation has an overwhelming phobia of commitment. This widespread phenomenon has emerged exactly due to the dating app factor.Why would you bother when there are plenty more “swipes” in the sea? In themillennial mind, people have turned into commodities. The first step to solving this, should you come across someone that you truly like, is to actively seekout connections with the person through common interests.
This way, you will become more than a cardboard cutout or a set of brief traits in the eyes of the potential date, much more quickly. However, the second step is quite harder and it is also related to the fear of commitment. This obstacle comes in the signature millennial fear of opening up, coupled with the unwillingness to repeatedly invest energy into partners.
The main tool is also a problem
With the omnipresent power of the internet, the metaphysical cloud that covers the globe and simmers with endless data, long distance relationships have become more common place. While previous generation used the net as a tool in this regard, matters have become a bit trickier for millennials.
In the world of diminished attention spans and constant pursue for immediate gratification, the survival of long distance relationships requires both parties to exercise in human patience and constant readiness to compromise. The additional work might be exhaustive, but the benefits of pulling through are immeasurable.
The afore mentioned unwillingness to invest energy in relationships is not a mild problem. Millennials learn, since early age, to be focused solely on themselves and their own needs. In addition, the digital realm is tailored exactly to cater to the individual’s perception of oneself as the “center of the world”. In spite of this, you can easily spot a glaring contradiction within such state of things – since the choices at our disposal are in numerable, it becomes easy to feel as if we do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Generations ago, people used to belong to diffuse and organic social microcosms which were easier to navigate. An average millennial suffers the “tyranny of freedom” but manages to come on top as long ascertain basic tenets are followed.
Avoid distractions and have a clear goal
In order to find the right partner, you need to narrow down your wants into a reasonable goal. As soon as you enter the world of dating (both online and offline) things can get really distracting really fast so it helps to have a clear goal when it comes to the type of person you’d love to “find”. Just don’t fall into a trap of perceiving people as conquests as you will end up perpetuating previous mistakes. Second, you need to communicate this goal clearly, which might trim down the number of people that are willing to date you drastically, but at least you will pique the interest of those that want a similar arrangement. Finally, you need to take action and have hope no matter what – a few failed dates should not discourage you.
We live in the unprecedented times. The world is changing faster than we can process it and so does the way we engage with people around us. In this digital jungle of social media and dating apps, dating has turned into a curious multi-dimensional maneuver that dances frantically between numerous versions of your identity. Only one of these versions is completely genuine;all others are hyper-stylized. Previous generations did not have to wrestle with social hierarchies that include multiple levels of reality, all in order to fulfill the needs that are so primordial and instinctive. Both the problem and the solution to finding true love in the millennial world lie in the heartof this paradox. Thankfully, as infinitely quotable Dr. John Hammond says in“Jurassic Park”, “Life always finds a way.”
They say everything changes once you have kids. But have you ever considered the changes to your love life? When you become a mom, your kids become a new and worthwhile sense of joy; they’re now your number one priority and captivate most of your time and energy. But that doesn’t mean your love life, especially physical intimacy, should need to take a back seat. Whether you’re a single mom getting back out on the dating scene, a first-timeparent to a newborn, or even a wife whose marriage has been lacking spark after raising kids, there are solutions to every mom’s differing sexual needs after kids.
Quit guilt-tripping yourself
In the same facet that moms shouldn’t feel guilty about not having sex, moms also shouldn’t be ashamed for desiring sex. After all, sex allows us to create a new life – it’s what made us moms. Not to mention the many proven benefits sex can have on our health and that it can be rewarding for relationships. Maintaining a healthy sex life does not make you a bad mom. It’s all about finding the balance between tending to your child(ren), while also making time to fulfill your own needs.
Don’t let body insecurities stop you
Women undergo many physical changes throughout and after pregnancy, like stretch marks, weight gain, loose skin, and even leaky breasts; all of which can take an emotional toll on our self-confidence making the thought of being intimate again unimaginable. However, you may be surprised by how quickly youfind yourself craving that physical connection again, and since women can ovulate as early as three weeks after childbirth, you’ll want to be prepared if you’re not ready for your family to grow again quite yet. If you’re hesitant to use birth control due to the worry of further weight gain, then fear no more. Most birth controls contain two hormones, a progestin and anestrogen. High levels of estrogen are associated with fluid retention (aka bloating and weight gain). But modern birth control pills nowcontain lower doses of estrogen and progestin, debunking the idea that birth control and weight gain are one and the same, so choosing the best birth control for you is that much easier.
Be creative and flexible
Another reason sex doesn’t always transpire after children is the concept that parenting is a 24/7 job. But like any other job, we all deserve a break at some point. A comfortable way to transition back into having a sex life is to plan a night alone with your partner by dropping the kids off at grandma or grandpa’s house for a night. Your mind can relax knowing that your little ones are in the trusted hands of a loved one. If you don’t have the luxury of a relative or babysitter, don’t give into the notion that you can’t ‘get it on’ just because the kids are home. Forgo your former expectations of sex and fit it in around your time. Have some ‘sexy time’ after the kids goto bed or before they wake up. Make use of nap times or even hop in the shower together for a steamy, intimate moment alone. Just make sure to lock the door!
Becoming a mom means learning new ways to adapt to everything you once did before children, including sex. Women may not have the same sex life they did before kids, but it’s possible that sex after children can be even better as it can teach women to love their natural body, and allow for more opportunities for spontaneity and rekindling romance.
Cloth Menstrual Pads vs Disposables: Which is Right for You?
Whether disposable or reusable, choosing the kind of menstrual pad you want to hold your period falls on you and the kind of lifestyle you live. However, as of recently, there has been an alarming concern for disposable pads due to their impact on the environment and harmful chemicals.
In all fairness though, both cloth and disposable menstrual pads have their ups and downs. So we’re going to open up on the pros and cons of both pads to find out which of them is more beneficial for you, your health and mother nature for that matter.
Convenient: Some of the best parts about disposable pads is that they’re, well….disposable. Once you’re done with them, you can throw them away and that’s that. What’s also more interesting is that disposable pads can be bought from anywhere and not just health stores or online. Another great takeaway of these pads is that you virtually never run out. In fact, you can stash as much of them without having your husband or other family member run out to the drugstore to get them for you.
Smaller Upfront Cost: Buying disposable pads to cover one cycle is easier than buying the same amount of cloth pads to cover one cycle. What’s more is that you don’t need to buy more pads for your next period since you’ll already have a stash of them at home.
Harmful Chemicals: Because disposable pads are whitened with chlorine bleach, a toxic byproduct called dioxin is produced. These pads also contain pesticide residue and plastic chemicals. These chemicals are dangerous due to our skin being highly permeable, especially the skin in and around the vagina.
Potential Environmental Impact: It is reported that around 20 billion pads, tampons and applicators end up at landfills, that too in North America alone. And because they’re made of plastic, they take centuries to biodegrade, especially if they’re packed in plastic bags.
Higher Cost: Since they’re known as disposable pads, it will eventually come to a point where you will have to buy some new ones. This process is apparently more expensive than buying cloth pads since the latter are reusable.
Better For The Environment: Let’s get this out of the way first – the reason why cloth pads are much better option is due to their reusable quality. As such, it keeps them away from landfills, which is a big deal when you consider the number of feminine products that one woman uses in her entire lifetime.
Savings: If you buy enough cloth pads to cover an entire menstrual cycle, it could save you up on more than what a pack of disposable pads would cost you. Better yet, once you have those reusable pads with you, you won’t have to buy another tampon or pad for over five years. Hence, reusable pads can save you on plenty of money overtime than disposable pads.
Highly Customizable: There are plenty of customizable options available for cloth pads than you can get for disposable pads at your local drugstore. Apart from choosing the best size and absorbency for your convenience, you also get to choose the best colors and patterns that represent your personal style.
It’s Less Irritating: Cloth pads are less irritating because they’re made of soft, breathable fabrics that permit air flow. Due to this, women experience less chafing and sweating when using cloth pads. There are also some women whose skins are sensitive to the bleaching agent that are used to make disposable pads white – that’s why switching over to cloth pads are the best option for them. Some women even reported to have experienced less PMS and menstrual cramps upon switching to cloth pads.
They Require Great Care: Cloth pads are not like disposable pads where you can just fling them into the trash bin after using them once. And that’s exactly why they’re known as reusable. After using, they need to be washed to avoid getting stains. Then just toss them into the washing machine like you would your laundry. Keep away from fabric softeners as it could affect the absorbency of the pads. Whether you can machine-dry the pads or not depends on the brand as well as the materials they’re made from.
Lots of Trial And Error To Find the Right One: Unlike clothes, you can’t try a cloth pad in a fitting room before you decide to buy it. Since there are pads of various sizes, one can only guess which one is the right fit for you. One good advice is that if you use disposable pads, you can check their size out to find the cloth pad that is of similar size. You will find that most sellers list the measurements of their pads, making your job easier in finding the one you need.
Even though they both have their shortcomings, it is ultimately reusable cloth pads that take away the trophy due to their eco-friendly and affordable nature attributes. The best cloth pads are those that are just the right size, contain less or no harmful chemicals and have a longer shelf life.
How Do You Know When Enough is Enough with Your Relationship?
You have endured sleepless nights, endless arguments and your fuse is growing shorter by the day. You have never wanted to give up on your relationship, but recently you have been finding it difficult to stay positive. You have tried everything from spicing things up in the bedroom to repairing trust that has been broken, but nothing seems to be working for you both. You feel like your relationship or marriage has run its course and it’s never going to get any better. If you think you are struggling in this kind of situation then now is the time to make your final decision; consider all of the following steps and you will find it a little easier to come to terms with.
Speak to a Lawyer
If you have been unhappy in your marriage for a while now, then you might be considering a divorce. Although it sounds like a drastic measure, for many people this is their only option. You can learn about a divorce lawyer here and start exploring your options. Make sure you become well informed of your rights and seek advice from those who have been there before. You will soon be able to come to a decision and see if divorce really is the right step for you at this point in your life.
Write a List
If you are totally on the fence about where your current relationship stands, then why not write a pros and cons list? Obviously keep it well out of sight and don’t share this with them as it could end sourly. Think about the positive attributes they bring to your life; if you are struggling to think of many then this might be a very good reason to let them go. Write down all of the negative sides of being with your partner. Not all relationships are perfect but if your negatives outweigh the positives then you will have come to a pretty clear decision.
Openly Talk to Your Partner
Why not communicate with your other half and see if they are feeling the same? Perhaps they have an underlying issue that they have been too afraid to share with you. Speaking to them calmly might just give them the opportunity to open up to you. All might become clear after your cordial conversation and you will be able to start taking the steps you need towards getting your partnership back on track. Many relationships fail because the two parties don’t talk to each other enough. If you can have more open conversations together, you might just be able to resolve your ongoing issues.
Have a Long Term Plan
Build a masterplan for your life and start thinking about how your life would play out if you were to break up. You should have goals to work towards and a career to build upon. Don’t allow anyone to stop you from being happy and start living your life for yourself.
So if your relationship is over make sure you take the steps towards gaining your freedom back; you will soon be able to find your feet on your own.