It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship.
You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together.
Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them.
If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward.
It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.
This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs.
Sex and trust
You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line.
You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner.
If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships.
Grey Area of Consensual
Sex: You Are Not 50 Shades of Christian Grey
By: Tia Cristy
first time I saw 50 Shades of Grey was at a private promotional showing with
about fifty of my co-workers, including my boss and his wife… Awkward.
Nevertheless, no matter how uncomfortable
the situation was, in which I was watching the box-office porn, the fact was
the title was becoming a household name worldwide.
People of all ages were getting the inside scoop on non-disclosed kink. Even my
dad, who never saw the movie, nor read the books, could make references to the
storyline. Talk about really awkward—Side note: I’m now a firm believer that
some things should never be discussed between a father and a daughter.
after the movie hit nationwide, the increase of emergency room visits due to
sexually related injuries jumped up to a huge 20%. As a Lifestyle Blogger that
preaches on sexual health, I felt it was imperative to work with the right
experts to help couples learn proper etiquette in spicing up their love life. I
started to publish posts and infographics on things like, Introduction to
Bondage. I thought if curious men and women had
the right information, they could safely venture into uncharted territories
without ending up in the ER. Right?
Let’s skip ahead…
50 Shades Trilogy now available OnDemand… I sat down with a gynecologist specialist, who has been my long-time confidential source for Sexual Health. We discussed some incredibly disturbing stats. The increasing cases of women coming into her office with serious sexual trauma that was encountered during consensual sex is staggering. ‘Smash, pound, break or tear up’ have all been used as synonyms for sex, but these words should never be taken literal. Women have resulted in being beaten, strangled, scratched, bitten, torn, etc. all with the intent of having enjoyable, agreed-upon sex.
Whether it was called making love, a booty-call or simply a good-time, at some point the objective of pleasurable sex went terribly wrong amidst intercourse. External and internal injuries were obtained. Short-term and long-term damages were done physically as well as emotionally. And sadly, the culprit of it all stems from some undereducated partner acting out some over ambitious fantasy and chalking it up to having a good ‘fuck’. Let me break it to you, there’s nothing good about this kind of intimacy. The reason I can openly say ‘under-educated’ is simple, and this might come as a shock to some, but the fact is life is not a porno.
Here’s a quick history lesson…
Pornography was originally created, many moons ago, to be an educational tool for husbands and wives to have better sex lives, but quickly shifted into the world of entertainment. Professional studio-created porn was, and still is, acting. A tap can appear like a slap and what looks like a bite is actually a brush of the teeth, all in hopes to heighten the visual allure. And yes, many individuals find the thought of shedding the stink of their own dull, boring, or routine sex lives very appealing. There is a multi-billion-dollar industry that is banking on the fact that you and your partner are ready to take it up a notch in the bedroom.
There are plenty of toys, gadgets, videos and clothing that can help bolster a couple going through a dry spell. Judge-free, if that is for you and your mate. My only advice, understand how it works. Just because you see a pilot fly a plane, doesn’t mean you instantly know how to do it. Be sure to do your research on safety, including proper hygiene. And please, only proceed when you know that you and your partner are both on the same page.
Crossing the line…
a very thin line detecting pleasure between pain when it comes to the receptors
in the brain. Even though, there is an incredible difference from the mind
wanting to do that again, or saying, WARNING: Never Again!
you are making someone bleed or say ‘ouch’ during one of the most intimate and
vulnerable moments of your lives, you are doing something really wrong!
I need you to hear this loud and clear: if you are allowing your partner to
cause more pain than pleasure or they are provoking any kind of damage to your
cervix, all in the name of a ‘good-time’, you, too, are doing it wrong!
past week, several newly-released comedies have referred to rough sex and strangulation
as the new normal. This action should not be perceived as the standard in
exploring one another. I’m not criticizing lovers that prefer some titillating
practices. I’m only suggesting you and your partner cultivate a sexual experience
you can both enjoy. Sex is about trust, and like as with anything else in life,
trust builds over time.
There’s a sad truth in which society wants to
take love out of the bedroom and replace it with carnal desires. Not everyone
agrees with this trend. However, if you do agree – fantastic! If that’s your
kind of thing. But don’t remove compassion and call it passion. I think being
adventurous in between the sheets is absolutely healthy, especially when you
and your partner have taken all the proper precautions. Including, and I can’t
stress this enough, you must both be ready and willing!
thumb: if you wouldn’t want it done to you, then you probably shouldn’t be
doing it to your partner unless they request it, and vice versa.
All that being said…
Sexual injuries caused by a consensual sex partner are climbing at an appalling and unpredictable rate. In these such cases, women are on the verge of appearing assaulted. There is no demographical or stereotypical pattern. These are upstanding, strong, educated women. These inflicted injuries have affected a range of individuals who have just met their partner to lovers, who have been ‘experimenting’ within a committed, long-term relationship. The age ranges fluctuate, too. But the one thing that all these cases have in common is the injured party, who is left feeling confused, ashamed and violated. This kind of practice bares some questions.
Is this sexual assault? No. Okay, well then is this consensual? Not exactly. Don’t get hysterical by my choice of words. There is a HUGE difference between someone being forced to do something beyond their will and someone that voluntarily took part in an intimate experience. None-the-less, most of these injured women experienced many moments of pleasure coupled with veins of sheer terror. Hence why, the aftermath takes such a physical and emotional toll. This area is the only shade of this Grey we should be focusing on and fix it before it ruins lives and reputations. No one is saying the individuals in these cases are ready to march in the #metoo movement. But no one, and I mean no one, should be physically hurt or humiliated while partaking in close human contact.
stand up for one another, on so many other important ‘body’ matters nowadays,
it is also time to stand up for intimacy. For women, …and men. And above all,
for the younger generations and the ‘human’ in all of us. Let’s not be fooled
here. Passing off pinned up sexual aggression or re-enacting what you might
have seen on the flat screen as the proper way to engage in a sexual
experience, while your partner isn’t enjoying themselves, is simply yucky!
If you are the dominate…
Please speak openly with your partner on your desires. Respect their boundaries. Have a safe word. And most of all, remember, no means no. Real life isn’t a movie and you are not Christian Grey, okay.
If you are the submissive…
Boldly voice your concerns. Bad choices can bring on regret, but regret doesn’t equal victim. So, don’t be shy to speak up if you aren’t enjoying yourself. If something hurts, tell your partner. And if things are getting out of control, try to smartly defuse the situation without causing confrontation, and do your best to get out of there. Don’t be a victim.
to my source, another thing that should be brought to light is the alarming
misuse of medications among the younger generations. Cocktails mixed with
erection-stimulating meds and/or steroid use in order to lengthen the sexual
experience is causing destressing, unwarranted aggression within the bedroom.
Using medications without doctor’s supervision can cause serious mental issues
like ‘roid-rage’ and/or physical, irrevocable damages to yourself and your
partner. There’s a strong possibility these concoctions are impairing the user
judgment and sensation, causing them to thrust or pounce with more aggression. And
because they’re numb, they are unaware of their vigor and the potential pain
they are inflicting. This combination only has the opportunity of ending in devastating
damage to both parties. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. It’s safer, smarter,
and honestly, more enjoyable to live out your fantasies one round at a time, no
matter how quick it is.
love and desire for your partner does, truthfully, enhance the fantasy world.
However, we all know hook-ups happen. Safety is the first thing to practice in
every sexual situation, starting with protection. Condoms and dental dams
really do reduce the chances of spreading nasty things. So, whether you’re a
man or a woman, if some sly one tells you, ‘It doesn’t feel as good with
protection’. Your only response should be, ‘But it feels so much better than no
Let’s clear up any misunderstandings…
This isn’t men vs. women’s primal desires. This is about achieving desires and not disasters. This isn’t a sexuality issue. This is a sex issue. This isn’t a generational problem. This is a lack-of-information problem. Sex shouldn’t leave someone physically damaged.
all you think you know about the red-room of pain, and have an honest and
colorful conversation about your sexual wants and needs. Don’t let any form of
entertainment give you a false assessment of what real intercourse should be.
We need to address this issue before things get out completely out of hand.
With so many sexual accusations flying around out there and people making laws
about what people can and can’t do with their bodies, this is one of those
situations that can cause a lot of future complications if not discussed and
handled maturely between partners.
At the risk of sounding 100 years-old, you need to understand your body is the most precious thing that you can share with another human being. According to recent surveys, monogamy is making a strong comeback in both heterosexual and LGBT circles. Fantasies are finding ways to becoming healthy realties. And protected sex is considered cool. So, let’s take all the trauma and the 50 Shades of ‘scary’ out of intimacy. Sex should be a beautiful thing. And exploration should feel good. Whether you like it or not, humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason. And unlike the necessity it is within the animal kingdom, humans can choose to have sex for pleasure, love and closeness. So, do the rest of the mobile upright a favor, and stop taking yourself and others for granted.
Sleeping with someone for the first time can often be a very daunting event. Having only known the person for a short time, it will be very hard to tell how they will want to go through something like this. Of course, though, the worst part about going to bed with someone for the first time is the prospect of embarrassment. To give you an idea of what goes into this, this post will be exploring some of the work which can be done to ensure that you don’t have to deal with shame when you find yourself swept up by the fun.
Keep It Clean
After a long day of walking around and having fun, most people will be in need of a little bit of a freshen up. This isn’t something you’ll always have time for, though, and this means looking for ways to keep yourself clean without having to take five in the bathroom. Websites like the Scary Mommy blog are great when you’re looking for advice in this area. It can be hard to talk to those around you about personal hygiene, but blogs don’t judge.
Dress To Impress
The clothing you wear says a lot about you, and is one of the earliest impressions someone will have when they meet you. Of course, though, when you’re going to bed, these garments will be coming off, and it will be the ones underneath which you’re most concerned about. There are loads of underwear options which are designed to be both pretty and comfortable, nowadays, and this means that you no longer have to choose.
There will always be aspects of your body which you feel worried about, even if you spend loads of time working on it. By simply being honest about this, you can find yourself in a great position, and the person you are with is likely to feel a whole lot more comfortable, as a result. Of course, there are some things which you won’t want to talk about. If you’re worried about something superficial, though, like hair or scars, you don’t have much to worry about.
Do Your Part
This sort of experience can be embarrassing for anyone; not just you. This means that your partner is also likely to be a little worried about your potential reaction to their body, and this is something worth considering. Even if something takes you by surprise, you should work hard to make as little of it as possible, as this will help to keep both parties happy. There is nothing worse than having someone look shocked or amused when they see you naked.
With all of this in mind, you should be feeling ready to take control of the time you spend with others in bed. Feeling embarrassed should never be a part of spending time with someone else like this, thought a lot of people find themselves experiencing it. If you need more help with this, it could be worth talking to a sex expert, as this field can get very complex.
How Do You Know When Enough is Enough with Your Relationship?
You have endured sleepless nights, endless arguments and your fuse is growing shorter by the day. You have never wanted to give up on your relationship, but recently you have been finding it difficult to stay positive. You have tried everything from spicing things up in the bedroom to repairing trust that has been broken, but nothing seems to be working for you both. You feel like your relationship or marriage has run its course and it’s never going to get any better. If you think you are struggling in this kind of situation then now is the time to make your final decision; consider all of the following steps and you will find it a little easier to come to terms with.
Speak to a Lawyer
If you have been unhappy in your marriage for a while now, then you might be considering a divorce. Although it sounds like a drastic measure, for many people this is their only option. You can learn about a divorce lawyer here and start exploring your options. Make sure you become well informed of your rights and seek advice from those who have been there before. You will soon be able to come to a decision and see if divorce really is the right step for you at this point in your life.
Write a List
If you are totally on the fence about where your current relationship stands, then why not write a pros and cons list? Obviously keep it well out of sight and don’t share this with them as it could end sourly. Think about the positive attributes they bring to your life; if you are struggling to think of many then this might be a very good reason to let them go. Write down all of the negative sides of being with your partner. Not all relationships are perfect but if your negatives outweigh the positives then you will have come to a pretty clear decision.
Openly Talk to Your Partner
Why not communicate with your other half and see if they are feeling the same? Perhaps they have an underlying issue that they have been too afraid to share with you. Speaking to them calmly might just give them the opportunity to open up to you. All might become clear after your cordial conversation and you will be able to start taking the steps you need towards getting your partnership back on track. Many relationships fail because the two parties don’t talk to each other enough. If you can have more open conversations together, you might just be able to resolve your ongoing issues.
Have a Long Term Plan
Build a masterplan for your life and start thinking about how your life would play out if you were to break up. You should have goals to work towards and a career to build upon. Don’t allow anyone to stop you from being happy and start living your life for yourself.
So if your relationship is over make sure you take the steps towards gaining your freedom back; you will soon be able to find your feet on your own.
Things Couples In a Long Term Relationship Do to Rekindle the Passion In Bed
If you have been with your partner for a long time, chances are that your sex life has gone dull and it needs a bit of sparkle. The good news is that there are many happily married couples out there who are able to keep their passion alive and focus on each other’s needs and wants often. If you need help with your sex life, and don’t want to see a therapist, here’s a couple of things you should try first.
As we grow older, we become more aware of what we want in bed and what we are interested in trying. There is nothing wrong with being curious, and checking out what turns on other people. In fact, it can be very revealing when it comes to planning your next date with your partner. You can try talking to other people about their passion and preferences at a totally free gay chat line from Megamates to find out more about the different ways of making love and satisfying your partner.
One of the things that busy working professionals forget about is taking the time to focus on each other. If you are both working hard, it might be difficult to find time at night to create a romantic scene and connect with each other. You might also be too tired for starting something new. You will need to take time off work together, so you can arrange a romantic date, go for a walk, or connect in any other way.
Finding New Common Interest
We all change as well as our priorities. Chances are that your life used to be different before you got the house, had kids, and started sharing responsibilities. You developed new interests and passions, so did your preferences in life and bed. If you would like to connect with your partner on a more meaningful level, you might want to find something you both enjoy doing again. This can be as simple as having a card game on Friday nights or going to concerts. At the end of the day, you can share new memories and get closer together, making room for intimacy in your life again.
Taking a Vacation
Couples in long term relationships also like taking a step back from their regular routine and focusing on each other. You can go on an all-inclusive vacation that will allow you to arrange your days how you like, stay in bed if you feel like, and be free from the daily routine you are used to. Even a short city break will help you reignite the flame in your relationship; new experiences and places will make you more relaxed in bed.
When was the last time you had a proper date with your partner? Don’t count the family dinners and birthday parties. A real date when it was only the two of you, not having to worry about work, kids, and cooking? If you don’t have date nights every now and then, you will never find the time to have a meaningful conversation about your life and your passion. Arrange at least one a month, and you will see that your bed routine will improve.
While some people say that they don’t like surprises, but deep down everyone does. Arrange a surprise trip, get them something you know they want but they would never spend money on, or simply be there for them. Turn up at their workplace and tell them that you are taking them to somewhere special. Make sure that you check their schedule before arranging the plan, though, as it can turn out to be more of a disaster than a pleasant surprise.
Reducing Screen Time
If you are looking for the most important thing that is killing relationships today, you don’t need to look further than the screen. You will need to make sure that you are able to switch off the phone and the laptop and have a distraction-free date night. You can listen to your favorite music, or simply have a quiet conversation instead of getting hooked up on other people’s drama.
Love Card Games
There are plenty of fun games you can play with your partner that will help you get in the mood to have sex. If you are usually tired at night or have a busy evening routine, take a couple of hours off to play a love card game, such as Pillow Talk. You can find out new things about your partner and learn about their preferences and secret desires. You can have an open conversation about sex without having to force the topic or facing awkward moments
Couples Tantric Yoga
To reignite your senses and have a better sex life after a long term relationship, you will need to focus on your love life and make sure that you are feeling each other’s emotions and desire. Tantric yoga is a great way of connecting again after neglecting your sex life, and discovering new sweet spots in sex that will take your intimacy to the next level.
If you feel like you are caught up in your daily routine and would like to remember what your sex life used to be, you will need to take a trip down memory lane. Go and book a dinner table at the restaurant where you had your wedding reception, or visit the place where you spent your first romantic weekend away. Remember how it used to be before life caught up with both of you, and recreate the experiences.
There are many reasons why couples together for a long time lose passion and interest in sex. If you would like to improve your intimacy and your bed routine, try these tips and pay attention to your partner. They might have developed new interests and curiosities, just like you. Discover what brought you together again, and you can make the most out of your relationship.
20+ Years Together? 3 Tips on How to Spice Things Up in Your Bedroom
Passion does wane in long-term relationships. It’s a part of life, which you need to acknowledge. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to accept it and give up. In fact, experts advise couples who want to keep their relationship strong to have sex regularly (The Telegraph, DailyMail). You have the power to keep the passion burning for years to come and, perhaps, even make it hotter. To achieve this, you’ll need to use a few tricks and even supplementary tools. Those will ensure that both partners are satisfied.
How to Spice Up Sex Life in a Long-Term Marriage: 3 Tips & Tricks
1. Discuss your expectations and be realistic
According to Psychology Today, researchers proved that couples who have realistic expectations about their sex life are more satisfied with it. Please note this doesn’t mean that partners need to have similar expectations. The simple fact of spelling them out and acknowledging them is what does the trick.
It’s normal for people to have different levels of sexual desire. It’s also normal to have periods when someone isn’t ‘in the mood’. Regardless of what the reason is, you need to discuss this subject with your partner. And then accept each other’s opinions and desires and acknowledge that both of your views are normal and should be respected.
This is it, you are already halfway to a satisfying sex life.
2. Use various libido enhancements and other tools to make your sex more satisfying
Erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness are both common health issues that can ruin your sex life as you age. So, talk about these issues and use the tools to deal with them. Men should study male enhancement pills review. This will give them a way to fight common erectile issues that come with age. Women should research estrogen treatments for vaginal dryness. However, as those can have severe side effects, they should be used with extreme care. Using lube during sex, on the other hand, is much safer and helps make the act more satisfying for both of you.
There are a great many sex products you can use today to stoke your passion. Look into all of them, from scented aphrodisiac candles to the many creative toys. Think of what can work for you as a couple and don’t be afraid to experiment.
Remember, those things were created with the express purpose to help make your sex life better. There is nothing embarrassing about using them.
3. Be spontaneous in everything
One of the main issues with sex in long-term relationships is that couples often ruin the experience for themselves. The worst thing about this is that they do it with the best intentions. This happens because you know your partner well. Therefore, you try to do everything they like most to bring them to that height of ecstasy every time, like clockwork. And that’s what it turns into if you routinely repeat your patterns and actions. No matter how much a person might enjoy it, this will get boring.
Be spontaneous! Try new things in new places and be prepared that not all of them will work out well. The point is to make your sex life richer and more interesting.
Millions of people use online dating websites and apps to meet new people and engage in different levels of intimacy – from just chatting to casual sex to romantic relationships. With the rising popularity of various platforms such as Match.com, EHarmony, Tinder, and numerous others, the stigma that once existed around online dating has been greatly diminished. Even statistics show that the majority of Americans claim online dating is a good way to meet people.
But it’s still a relatively new landscape, where it’s crucial that we’re all well-informed and understanding of how we can navigate it responsibly. Here’s what you need to keep in mind regarding sexual health when meeting new people on dating platforms.
Sexual health is about psychological well-being too
The concept of sexual health is often mistaken for only the physical aspect of health in regards to sexuality, such as the absence of an STI.
But the World Health Organization reminds us that sexual health goes much further than that, implying psychological wellbeing, freedom of choice, and the ability to have a satisfying and responsible sex life.
In the online dating culture, you have all the freedom you need to engage with whomever you want and however you want. And when you have this kind of freedom, it’s especially important to listen to your gut instinct and to be cautious when meeting new people online.
It’s easy to get caught up in all of it, which makes it even more important that you fully acknowledge what you want and what you don’t want – regardless of how the person you’ve met will react. Listen to your innate needs, take care of yourself, and don’t let yourself feel pressured at any point.
Online dating is there to make things easier and more enjoyable for you, not to become a burden on your well-being.
A lot of people are hooking up through dating platforms, as the medium makes meeting new people much faster and more convenient. The math is quite simple – the more casual sex there is, the more STIs are likely to be circulating.
This is nothing new, as STIs are more widespread than you might expect. There’s just too much stigma around them so you can be sure that nobody is going to explicitly tell you they have an infection when they meet you.
Not only that, but your partner may have no idea he or she has an STI.
The only way to stay safe from STIs and maintain your sexual health responsibly is by using condoms – every time, no matter what.
This is especially important to take note of among the older demographic, where there’s still a common misconception that there’s no need for condoms if you can no longer have children. Regardless of fertility or other forms of contraception you might be using, condoms serve to protect you from STIs, and both sides of the relationship should have them around.
Maintain your good judgement
A lot of people rely on drugs or alcohol to ease into the situation and “loosen up” when meeting someone new. Again, you have the freedom to do whatever you wish – just make sure that you own it, that you have the confidence and your best interests in mind.
Overdoing it with either of those two will definitely cloud your judgement – and that’s where it will be difficult for you to keep your best interests in mind. Whether it’s engaging with someone you don’t actually feel that comfortable with or forgetting to use a condom during sex, clouded judgement increases the chances of turning an otherwise pleasant experience into a sour one.
The rising popularity of online dating is no coincidence. People feel comfortable with these platforms, and they present a convenient and exciting way to meet potential partners and like-minded people. But as more and more people use online dating apps, there’s a whole new dialogue opening up around sexual health and safety. Whether you’re entirely new to online dating or have an established profile, keep these points in mind to make sure that you navigate the landscape to your best interest.
A soulmate is someone who completes you, someone you can love for a lifetime. But it is not always guaranteed that you will meet this person in your life; there are chances that they may be right in front of you but you still miss them. Finding that special someone is a quest that can be solved only by following your heart and understanding how you can open the doors that take you to them. Let us help you to know how to find your true soulmate.
Believe in true love
Relationships are fragile in the present times as people break up as easily as they come together. But if you want to attract that special someone to your life, believe in true love because it does actually exist. When you do meet your true soulmate, the relationship with them nourishes you and helps to experience personal growth to become a stronger, better person.
Focus on healing
It is quite possible to fall in love with someone even if that person is not your soulmate. Such relationships are based on physical attraction and seldom last. Broken relationships do hurt but healing yourself is the best way to open up to your true partner. If you are not able to heal, you will not be able to let anyone get closer, even if that someone is the partner that you have been looking for.
If you expect someone to love you, start by loving yourself irrespective of your looks and physical attributes. People with a sense of self-esteem are more attractive and have better chances of finding a partner who adores and respects them. Appreciate the traits you are blessed with and try to improve where you lack. By loving yourself, you look and feel attractive and give reasons to others to feel the same about you.
Wait with patience
You need to be patient enough to wait for the arrival of your soulmate in your life. And this does not mean that you should miss on good things while waiting. Often people make their lives miserable just waiting for true love to arrive. Such people tend to become negative and miss the opportunity to meet their soul partner even if they are around. Learning to live in the present and enjoying life before the person arrives is the key to finding the special one.
Be open to possibilities
Another way to find your soulmate is to be open to possibilities. Giordana Toccaceli, the renowned intimacy coach, reiterates that true love may walk in anytime and anywhere, sometimes when you expect it the least. You may even find the right person in someone whom you have known but not realized that they are the one. Just keep your senses open so that you do not miss the opportunity when it comes.
Finding your soulmate is like reaching your destination, but this does not make the journey any less special. So make sure that you stay happy and positive while you wait for that special someone to arrive in your life.
Conception’s Got You And Your Man Hot, Sweaty, And…Searching For A Surrogate?
When it comes to conception, most of us imagine things will get hot and steamy. Sex between you and your partner might have been good before, but surely it’ll crank up a level when there’s added incentive? You likely expect to be at it like rabbits every chance you get. All the better for making that baby, right ladies?
But, what happens when things don’t go to plan? You’ve been trying for months and nothing’s happened. Then, you get the news you’ve been dreading. One of you is infertile, and suddenly your hot and steamy journey couldn’t seem colder. The two of you may go from jumping into bed every second to facing major marriage problems in one short appointment.
The good news is, infertility is by no means the end of the story anymore. With options like surrogacy, there’s every chance you can still go on to conceive a genetic child. But, you first need to go through the experience of finding a surrogate. And, it’s all too easy to lose the love during this stressful process. But, given you want to have a child because of the love you share, it’s essential you don’t let that happen. And, to make sure of it, we’re going to look at a few ways to keep hold of that intimacy, even when surrogacy is on your cards.
So, sex isn’t going to lead to babies the way you’d hoped. But, that doesn’t mean you should stop making an effort in the bedroom. If it helps, remember that you’re still on the road to conception. Keeping on top of your sex lives can help keep that momentum alive, as well as preserving the intimacy. Focusing on sex can also help to alleviate any guilt the infertile party might feel. If your man received the bad news, for instance, he might feel that you’re withholding sex as a form of punishment. And, that type of feeling isn’t going to help either of you. So, keep making an effort here. Remember how much fun you had in the bedroom before babies were even on your cards. It might be hard at times, but you need to work to keep that going for the duration of your surrogacy search.
Do everything together
It takes two to make a baby. But, when it comes to surrogacy, it’s all too easy to slip into bad habits of separation. After all, you’re both giving different samples without each other in the room. And, you may decide to do independent research to put your minds at ease. Before you know, you’ll be having very different experiences of what should be a shared journey. Make sure it doesn’t happen by keeping this between the two of you. Don’t go off into your own heads at any stage. Instead, attend appointments together. If it helps, ask if you can go in with your man while he gives his sperm sample. And make sure not to research alone. Instead, sit down and snuggle up with the laptop one night. Together, visit resources like the ConceiveAbilities Blog which can answer a lot of questions for you. Just the act of coming together like this can help to keep you close and build intimacy during a difficult time. Make sure, too, that you make decisions together. You’ll need to choose everything from your timeline to your surrogate herself. And, it’s essential this is done together. Otherwise, it’s all too easy for one partner to fall out of the loop.
Communication is always essential in a relationship, especially when it comes to sex. But, you guys know that, else you wouldn’t have gotten this far. The trouble is, when issues of infertility crop up, it’s all too easy for the shutters to come down. A mixture of embarrassment and reluctance to face the problem are natural. But, you need to lift those shutters before they lock on your love. Instead, make sure you’re discussing your feelings from day one. If you’re upset, talk about it. Make sure not to be touchy or take things to heart. Just listen to your partner, and work towards solutions together. There are sure to be difficult discussions along the way, but you can’t afford to skip them. Only by facing these things head on can you both stay connected for when your baby comes along. Though it may not feel like it now, that could be a lot sooner than you think.
Our favorite girl gang might not be airing on TV anymore, but they still hold their spot in our hearts. The Sex and the City show made us all wonder if we have what it takes to live the high life in the urban jungle and what it is you actually need to do to get there. So, if you want to bring back the best of the times into today, here’s what you’re going to need:
An outfit to make a statement
Each of the girls in the show has her own unique style that worked brilliantly when then show aired in the early 2000’s, but let’s just say that not all of their styles aged so well. While Carrie might have been the fashion icon during the series, these days you might want to be a bit more like Charlotte. But if the girls have thought us something, it’s that you should always dress to impress. Surprisingly, while Miranda was the odd one out, dressing far less stylish than the other girls, her outfits would look the most normal if worn today. Clashing colors and weird pattern mixes might have been considered a catastrophe back in the day, but today you can see such designs on the biggest runways of the world. So really, whether you want to rock knee-high boots with an over-the-top fur coat, or if you want to show off your body in a sexy red dress, it’s important that you find the look that represents you.
Relationships take time. You might meet the perfect one and fall in love instantly, but actually not end up together until several arguments, other partners and a couple of seasons pass by. But if we step away from Carrie and look at Charlotte, we’ll see that things don’t always work out – or do they? Your perfect life falls apart, you get divorced and you feel like you are at the bottom, but them someone new just walks by and there you go, back up on your feet.
Let’s take a page from Samantha’s book: She’s not only sex obsessed, but she is perfectly fine with sharing every single detail with her friends and the unseen audience. The thing to remember here is that this show made great strides in demystifying adult toys and showing us that sex isn’t always good. And when it isn’t – you should speak up, change something about it or, at the very least, take things into your hands. But the show also addresses a major problem: unplanned pregnancy. Miranda’s against-all-odds pregnancy was a shock to everyone, and the message is clear: if you don’t want kids (or and STI) always use protection.
Know your perfect cocktail
There is really nothing more iconic for this show than a glass of Cosmopolitan. So let’s see how you can recreate it at home with your best friends: Originally, the recipe uses cranberry juice, but you can substitute it for grapefruit or blood orange. Put 1oz in a shaker over ice, add a ¼ oz of triple sec and 1 ¼ oz of vodka (or a bit more, if you’re trying to cheer up a friend who just broke up). Shake it all up and pour into a martini glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon and you are good to go. Alternatively, go downtown to your favorite bar and tell mr. Bartender to keep them coming.
If you strip away all the side action that fills up the show, you are left with one very simple theme: friendship. The four girls go through their life’s ups and downs together and support each other through it all. So before you start buying furry coats, shaking up cosmos and updating your sex toy collection, first make sure you have a group of friends that will see you through thick and thin, laugh and cry with you and love you and simply love you unconditionally.
And if this made you feel nostalgic, then maybe get your friends together and watch a season or two of the show to remember the good time and give yourself inspiration for your own adventure. After all, we are all writing our own stories, and perhaps it’s just the right time for another plot twist.