Tag Archives: relationships take work and lots of communication

3 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

3 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship. 

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Communication

You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together. 

Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them. 

If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward. 

Shared interests

It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.

This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs. 

Sex and trust

You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line. 

You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner. 

If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships. 

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Little Annoyances Adding up to Big Marriage Problems?

Little Annoyances Adding up to Big Marriage Problems?

I’m not a fan of the saying, ‘the honeymoon’s over’. Seriously, a honeymoon is about a week out of your entire relationship, so why does it get so much power over a marriage?

I believe relationships tend to have seasons—yes, just like the weather. Sometimes it’s summer and all is roses while other times it’s a hard-hitting hurricane season. However, every season that comes and goes, we as humans expect its arrival and most survive it’s passing. So why can’t couples do the same?

With the divorce ratio getting higher, I think it’s time we all take another look at what is causing marriages and long-term relationships to fail at such a high rate.

 

It’s the little things that add up

It seems to be the case for most relationships that crumble. The weight of those little things add up to be something so heavy, couples get weary. Being weary is when all the bad can soak in. And then, those little annoyances become huge problems in your relationship. Think about when you are sick. You already feel bad, but it’s excruciating to bump your arm on top of being sick. It’s the same concept, little things make you feel bad, but then pile on those little annoyances after feeling weary and it’s enough to end your relationship. You need to stop that mindset in its tracks. Experts believe those little annoyances are partly the reason you were attracted to your partner to begin with, so in that case it’s time to rest and reboot yourself.

 

Put on your own oxygen mask first

When you are tired, you need rest. This doesn’t mean sleeping, per se, but clearing your mind and emotions from what you think needs to be done. In most cases, what you think needs to be done is fixing your partner’s annoying little habits. That’s not the case. You can’t fix your partner, you can only fix yourself. Take time to reflect on being a better you.

 

In the words of Otis Redding, ‘Try a Little Tenderness’

You can’t change your partner, no matter how much you threaten or yell. That method is not only destined for failure, it’s exhausting. After you have made yourself a better partner, you can try some tenderness towards your partner. You already know the things that drive your crazy, but what about your partner? Does it drive your spouse crazy that you leave your wet towel on the chair? Then make an effort not to do it. We all want respect. So by respecting your partner and their wishes, perhaps they will see the change in you and be inspired to change themselves into being a better partner for you.

 

Sometimes we need an outsider looking in

You’ve worked on yourself and you’ve been giving your partner the respect, but still, nothing has changed? It’s not exactly true, if you have changed. But, sometimes we need someone on the outside to mediate the situation, especially if you’ve approached the concerns and your partner reacts dismissive or causes you to become introverted with your feelings. Seeking help from a marriage counselor is a great way to have an unbiased opinion. Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn how to open up and discuss issues in a healthy way. Did you even know there’s a healthy way to argue? It’s true.

 

Marriage and long-term relationships take work and lots of communication. Most of all, they take respect and adjustments. That’s why I think relationships are like the seasons. It’s true, we don’t love all the seasons all the time, but there’s no beauty like the first snow fall or the thrill of the lightening storm in spring. Not all relationships are built to last, but most marriages aren’t meant to be as fleeting like a honeymoon. Shovel out the little annoyances before they have a chance to get too heavy.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.