Tag Archives: relationship status

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

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When it comes to relationships, many different people have many different opinions and beliefs. Some believe you should always kiss on the first date provided you like someone, while others feel that this is a forced standard that should in no way be expected. Different genders, different personalities and different age groups all react to the dating scene differently. For example, consider the stark difference between a nineteen year old boy heading on a date and a sixty year old man wishing to find another person to settle down with in retirement, perhaps after losing a loved one. It’s not hard to think how both relationships might turn out differently.

Keeping your relationship healthy, especially in the early days, is not always something that is up for debate. There are better ideas and there are worse ones. For example, expecting your partner to wait on you hand and foot simply because you are now intimate is not a good idea, nor is the idea that you can treat them with less respect because of this.

Consider our advice for helping you make the best of your relationship. You’ll be surprised just how effective it can be:

Understand It’s A Work-In-Progress

A relationship is never ‘complete’ much in the same way that a bonfire is never ‘complete’. However, it can run cold and snuff out when the fuel isn’t there for it to continue. Understanding that your relationship is much like a bonfire is an incredibly important metaphor to consider, and this can make the most difference over time. 

Consider the start of a relationship. The first spark comes from the ember, and this causes the fire to burn. Perhaps it starts within a wooden house doused in petrol (attraction) and so the fire starts and you get on, well, like a house alight. The fire is raging, tearing through rooms, it’s so intense it makes you dizzy and also completely consumes you. Then, as this fades over time, the fire starts to die down but still burns with intensity. It has its fuel source, and it cannot spread anymore. This is until you find additional fuel for it.

In a relationship, you need to ensure that fire never goes out. You need to keep using fuel. From date nights to speaking deeply with one another to doing things to strengthen your friendship (a much more stable fire than romantic love could ever be), you begin to keep your relationship perfectly flamed. However, there’s a catch:

Both Need To Fuel It

Here’s the kicker. When finding fuel for our metaphor of a fire, there are two storage areas for you to place said energy to burn. One cannot place that energy in the vessel of the other. It needs to be mutual, and balanced. Otherwise, the fire will be lopsided, and will start to go out. 

Both need to keep the fire cared for. This means that if you feel that you do all the work in your relationship, you should speak about it to your partner. If you feel guilty because you know you haven’t been noticing them as much as you should, tell them, and make the effort. Too many people view their relationship as something that simply exists like a force of nature, something as immutable as the color of their eyes or their height. But it’s not. You created this within the course of your lifetime. It can easily be undone. So, if you think it’s worth saving and keeping care of, you need to put the effort in. Understanding this can be one of the best means of helping any relationship stay strong.

We would recommend being co-operative, sharing hobbies and also your own, being trusting and giving them their own space, but also protective, ensuring that they are doing well. Keeping any relationship healthy is much more than a simple fix. It is a sustained effort with a past, present and future, and it lives within you both. Understand this, and you’ll have an access of clarity.

Strengthen Your Friendship

Before, we alluded to the fact that friendship is a much more stable fire than romantic love. That is true, but let us explain why. Friendship is a relationship where we do not expect anything from the other, we only wish to help them succeed. When this is returned both ways, it can be extremely nourishing. Spending time hanging out with someone can often seem like no big deal, but you are quite literally investing the most precious resource you will ever have with them, time, and so that is the ultimate compliment.

Strengthening your friendship matters, and it helps you feel much more embodied within any relationship. Romantic love is wonderful, and it can be life-affirming in many ways. But unsustained by friendship, it is like trying to ride a horse that has not been tamed. You see it all the time, embodied in toxic relationships your friends might have, where they speak to on another like dirt and they seem to accept this is the natural state of things.

But this will not be you. Strengthen your friendship by doing things for one another without anything in the way of expectation in return. Watch how it will blossom, provided you are reciprocated. 

Learn The Art Of Communication

Without communication, you’re in trouble. You absolutely need to learn how to do this. If you cannot speak to one another, it might be too late. Learning the art of communication is something worth caring about. While looking up excellent guides to worrying questions such as ‘is he cheating?’ can often be a helpful tool to assess the signs and symptoms of infidelity, without talking about this topic carefully and being forthright about things, you will never have the answers that you seek. It’s in this way that relationships blossom and continually better themselves as the years pass on.

With this advice, you’re certain to keep your relationship healthy in the best manner possible.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

3 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

3 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship. 

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Communication

You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together. 

Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them. 

If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward. 

Shared interests

It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.

This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs. 

Sex and trust

You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line. 

You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner. 

If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships. 

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

How Life Can Change When You’re With Someone Right For You

How Life Can Change When You’re With Someone Right For You

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It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.

Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:

They’re Your Best Friend

Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.

You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way

It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.

You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells

Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.

With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Couples Therapy: Choosing to Live Together

Couples Therapy: Choosing to Live Together


There once was a time when young girls and boys made dreams and plans on whom they were going to marry. However, it seems like times have changed, and 20-somethings aren’t running down the alter as fast as their parents did.

Millennials Saying ‘I Don’t’

Today with the divorce ratio so high, studies show those that the now young adults are choosing to live together instead of making their commitment legal. In fact, these same studies are showing couples maintaining a more loving relationship with higher prospects of longevity.

Commitment Without ‘I Do’


Many couples start out ‘talking’. If they really feel a connection, they become ‘exclusive’. But then what, what’s next? For starters, it seems like the true commitment nowadays starts at the point of exclusivity. Choosing to be in a healthy, monogamous relationship is a start in the right direction. However, older generations might not understand the choice of living out of wedlock. They might even think the way Millennials handle being committed to one another is simply a strong mindset to no longer swipe left or right on a dating app. But let’s be honest, it’s so much more than that…

Choosing Who to be Exclusive With

It’s always been important throughout the ages to choose the right partner in life. But today, I think couples aren’t afraid to wait for the right person. Not many women in today’s world fear being an classified as an ‘old maid’. Thanks to Destiny’s Child, woman celebrate their financial independence. Men also have no shame in waiting. Couples dig deeper, looking to one another in how this relationship makes sense on all-levels, not solely based on the feeling of being head-over-heels in love.

Time for You to Move In

Establishing some boundaries in the beginning of living together is important because as time goes on, in any relationship, married or not, boundaries form as well as breakdown. When you have an idea of what one another expects or needs, it’s not a total shock when you find out how your partner really lives 24/7.

Fighting like Your Married


Just because you didn’t cut a cake together doesn’t mean you won’t have rough times. Relationships are meant to have growing pains. Just because a couple isn’t married, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be self-serving all the time. A relationship is about devotion. Make time for one another, plan dates, divvy up the chores, and give each other safe spaces. These are the things that keep a relationship strong without building resentment. And now I should mention, just because you’re not married doesn’t give you a free pass to cut and run when times get hard. Because guess what, times may get hard. It’s part of life whether you’re single, in a relationship or married. Couples therapy has become very mainstream. Speaking to a counselor, instead of your closest friends could be more beneficial in your relationship.

Marriage Isn’t Off the Table

Just because you choose to not get married today doesn’t mean it never can happen. Plenty of long-term couples start families, and then decide to tie the knot down the line. It is true that it’s easier to ‘Do’ than un-do a marriage. But as long as you and your partner are on the same page about making a vow of commitment without the legal paperwork, building a happy life together, with or without children, is absolutely possible. Remember, fairytales are what you make of them.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Bring back Old-school Dating

by Cy B.

Bring back Old-school Dating

Since it seems to be all the topic on most social media platforms, I have been asked to reflect upon the topic of dating. The Do’s and Don’ts of today. For those not necessarily understanding today’s dating techniques it is a tough platform to tackle.

Over the years so much has changed and now deemed as ‘acceptable’ nature or so-called behavior. What was once known as dating has now become almost a mythical word that has lost meaning, just as ‘courting’ had in the 70’s. Nowadays, it’s almost as if social media decides your fate.

What happened to sending flowers to an address that doesn’t start with www.. or when phone conversations ended because one person fell asleep talking and you stayed on the line just to listen to them breath, because for that moment it was enough? What happened to working disagreements out and fixing problems? Not just acting like, hey I’ll just ignore this and let it build–not say anything and allow it to eventually explode? When did it become acceptable, bouncing from person to person and just leaving people in pieces because communication and motives were never clear, only expectations?

Y’all, love hurts.

I agree, yet expectations hurt even more when led by blinded by love. One of the worst feelings in life is falling in love alone. Both sexes mastered this little game it seems. Because dating has detoured so much, it’s like motives have selfishly changed nowadays. What was once a considered a rebound is, sadly, very popular now and is almost accepted as a relationship status. ‘First base’ and ‘second base’, once took time to access, is now almost expected on a first date by many, when before couples had butterflies even thinking about advancing. It’s so much more when someone can undress your mind.

Here’s a tip, gentlemen undress a womans mind and the body will follow. When advancing too quickly, you cannot touch the passion entrapped within a womans mind. Dont ask her about her imagination, become her imagination. If you feel the need to ask her something, ask her about her passions, her fears, her hopes and dreams. Ask her what she wants in life and what makes her laugh and cry. Take time to discover her favorite color and ask why. Listen to the stories that make her, her.

Those stories created the art that is her. Listen, and in front of your very own eyes, she will allow you the view the creativity through the events and happenings that has helped shape this beautiful woman. You can then see past the visible beauty, and witness her depth, pain, pleasure, vulnerability and the love in which she possesses in her beautiful soul. This my friend is a gift. A gift that you can give each other without a price tag.

Take it back to the days when snap chat and Instagram weren’t dating sites and cheating portals… When ten likes didnt change your mind about a person… When advertising to your following what you want isn’t even close to what you actually desire. Take it back to when catfishing meant there was going to be a good dinner.

All this back and forth mental-game playing, and men this… and women that… blah… blah… blah… We all need to step back and think. We have all been that broken heart, and we all have exes and problems. But remember folks, before social media was in relationships, communication between two people existed. Studies have shone, relationships worked out alot longer just a short decade ago. I’m not bashing social media. Guys and Gals remember, social media doesn’t ruin relationships, acting single or disrespectful towards your partner on social media in public/private chat rooms, does!

If you are searching for a lady, then be a gentleman. Ladies, if you want a gentleman, then simply be a lady. Chivalry is not dead, it’s just waiting to be, as they say today, digitally remastered by those who value its lost meaning.

We add all these new words to the dictionary every year that make no sense. Yet these don’t change… Love, commitment, honesty, trust, chivalry, dating, communication, integrity, humanity, respect, dedication, desire, passion, and the most evil one of all, lust. One must remember, in life, the most beautiful things are seen with the eyes closed. With eyes closed, you are led by trust. With eyes open, you’re often blinded by lust. Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do. Be open about what you want from the beginning. When it’s out on the table then it’s so much easier to understand–no guessing games, no one being led on, and no surprises.

Like the most famous misquote of Eldridge Cleaver, ‘If you’re not the solution, you are part of the problem.’ It’s simple, bring back LOVE.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

How Yoga Brings Women Together Instead of Competing Against Each Other

By Guest Blogger Meera W.

How Yoga Brings Women Together Instead of Competing Against Each Other

As women, we can often tend to compete with each other. We measure ourselves to other women based on looks, relationship status, success, and how well our kids behave. This need to compete comes from a place within that can be managed. If you’ve ever been in a room full of women in an intense yoga class, you’ll find that at the end of the class, there’s a sense of togetherness.

The quiet whispers are words of encouragement and gratitude towards each other. Yoga has the ability to heal many of our wounds that cause judgment. As we touch upon the deepest energy within, we become more open, loving, and compassionate towards others. The unnecessary need to compare or compete simply falls away. Here are some of the things I’ve noticed in myself when I do yoga regularly.

Walls Fall Down When You Open Your Heart

There are many poses in yoga that aid you in opening your heart. The reason we compete is through feelings of “not good enough”. When you can open your heart to the world, those feelings fall away. You don’t have to defend yourself anymore because you know you’re good enough. Opening your heart also allows you to see other women as they really are. They have the same fears, anxieties, complexities as you. When you break those walls down by offering yourself love, you can also give it to others.

The Relaxation of Yoga Helps You See Other Women Differently

Many of our bad behaviors, which includes competing, are due to the ego mind. When you’re stressed out, instead of handling the situation in your mind, you may tend to lash outward. This can manifest as competing. Anxiety often derives from a feeling of separation. When you attend yoga classes, you will feel part of something. This takes away from the isolated feelings you may have been feeling.

Certain yoga poses, especially those that deeply open the hips, can release a lot of stress you’re feeling. Peeling away at the layers of emotions can help you become centered. That centered seat doesn’t allow the mind to play games like competing with other women. It is also known as the seat of consciousness. Nothing can touch you when you become the watcher of your mind, consciousness, or ego. There is no judging or comparing when you reach this level of consciousness. Many of the yoga poses, along with the breathing, were designed thousands of years ago to promote that mental peace.

You Gain More True Confidence

For those that practice yoga often, a confidence begins to grow within. You might think that yoga is nothing more than an act of stretching, making shapes with the body, and breathing. While that is what can be seen on the outside, something is growing within you. It’s something deeper than the body you’re inhabiting.

When you’re dedicated enough, you can find your truth. Part of your truth will be the knowledge that you are good enough. You will come to realize that your problems as a woman are common and shared upon all the other women in the world. Confidence isn’t about proving that you’re better than someone. Confidence is about being okay with who you are. Going deeper into yourself will bring you the truth about life so the outer competitive nature dissipates. You won’t feel the need to prove anything to yourself or to others.

Yoga Allows You to Feel More Compassion

When you have opened yourself up enough through various poses in yoga, you will find that you take your compassion outwards. When you see a woman struggling with something, you will help instead of judge. When you clear your mind of all competitive thoughts, what’s left is compassion for others.

Within your yoga community, you will meet women that have gained the emotional benefits of yoga. If you’re new to the practice, you will likely notice women acting differently and offering you, a stranger, compassion. This can be deeply touching the first time it happens and also help you realize you can be the change you want to see in the world.

A Yoga Class Makes You Realize You’re All in this Together

Regardless of what level you are when it comes to yoga, you will sense a feeling of oneness in a class. The more challenging the yoga is, the more you come together as women. As the energy improves through poses, breathing, and potentially chanting together, every goes through a similar emotional journey. Whether you enter beginners or advanced poses, every woman will tap into the same parts of their energy.

Throughout the class, you will often be centered and having moments that are your own. You will feel the energy of the room though. This is partly what makes yoga classes so magical. You are on your own physical journey but spiritually you surround others as they surround you. Think of how much easier it is to make eye contact and smile at other women after your class is over.

Yoga will deepen your understanding of the world which will stop you from bad behaviors that could hurt others. When you open yourself up to women, you will find that we are all in this together. Once you do that, it can never be unknown to you again. Competition is essentially closing yourself off to the world. Wouldn’t it be better to stay open?

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram

 

Meera Watts is a yoga teacher, entrepreneur and mom. Her writing on yoga and holistic health has appeared in Elephant Journal, Yoganonymous, OMtimes and others. She’s also the founder and owner of Siddhi Yoga International, a yoga teacher training school based in Singapore. Siddhi Yoga runs intensive, residential trainings in India (Rishikesh, Goa and Dharamshala), Indonesia (Bali)

Website:  https://www.siddhiyoga.com/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/siddhiyogaacademy

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