Tag Archives: relationship issues

You Don’t See These Relationship Problems Coming!

You Don’t See These Relationship Problems Coming!

Being in a relationship is always going to cause some issues. It’s impossible to be in a relationship that’s functioning well for such a long period of time, it just doesn’t exist. Once you get through that honeymoon phase period, everything just seems to settle down, and the magical period that you created for yourself melts away, and the argument start to come in. The arguments come in because you’re both so much more comfortable around each other, and it’s so easy to pick up on all of the things that you might have been turning a blind eye to before. All of the sudden the quirks that you used to think were cute, you hate the thought of. And when you start to spend so much time around someone, you start to notice all of the things that might irritate you about them. So, we’re going to try and prepare you for some of the things you might not see coming in a relationship, and how to deal with them. Because you really do want to make sure that you’re either fighting for, or running from your relationship, rather than letting one drag on when it shouldn’t do!

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Problems In The Bedroom

It’s often a very secretive place, the bedroom, but there are problems that are being spoken about during office gossip that seem to be becoming more prominent. In an ideal world, everything in the bedroom would be perfectly ok, all of the time. But some women are experiencing problems with their partner, such as pornography addiction. Some men have such a big problem with this, and you won’t notice it until it starts to affect your own love life, which might be once you do get a little bit more comfortable with each other, and the intense passion starts to die down. If you think you’re dealing with this problem, simply sensitively talk to your partner about it, and be open and honest. Communication can save so many relationships, even if you might be a little embarrassed to talk about it to begin with!

Secret Money Problems

It’s not like there’s an interview process when you find yourself in a relationship, and it won’t be that you find out absolutely everything about them, they will try and hide certain things. One of those things would definitely be money problems, and it won’t be until you find yourself paying for more, or listening to them talk about their struggle to afford things, that it might click in your head that something is wrong. So again, try and get them to talk to a financial advisor, and try and help them work through it. The more you’re there for support, the stronger your relationship is going to grow!

Family Dramas

When you get into a relationship, you really do get into a relationship with their family as well, and it might not always be the best affair. So always make sure you’re trying to make an effort to bond with their family, because it might be that they think you’re taking your partner away from them, and simple effort with them could solve all of that!

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How to Ensure Your Family Is Thriving

How to Ensure Your Family Is Thriving

Life isn’t easy, that much is true. And it becomes even more difficult once we have a family to look after. Then, we need to make sure that everyone in our little clan is doing well and hitting all the milestones right on time. But of course, we don’t just need to settle for surviving as a family. We should thrive! And if you put a few crucial pieces in place, that’s just what your family will be doing. Below, we take a look at a few tried and tested ways you can ensure your family life hits new heights.

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Live with Purpose

It’s normal that all begin to live on autopilot a little after a while. We’re in the routine of going to work, looking after the children, cleaning the house, and so on. When we’re so busy, it makes sense that we can’t always be as present as we’d like. It is worthwhile finding ways to live with more purpose, however. You’ll find that if you’re proactive with your family, then it’s easier to overcome the humdrum of the routine. Meditation can be an excellent method for staying focused and avoiding autopilot life.

Entertainment and Excitement

We all have responsibilities in life, but they shouldn’t be what life’s all about. We’re here to have fun and enjoy things! As such, one way you can ensure that your family is thriving is to make sure there’s plenty of excitement and entertainment in your life. Rather than just sitting around on a rainy Saturday, you could get crafty, or perform a play, or anything else that’ll get the creative juices flowing. Life is hard, sure, but there should always be time for having fun as a family: it’s those things that’ll form the basis of a happy childhood for your kids.

The Basics of Life

If the individual members of your family are all good on a personal life, then the whole family will be thriving. While it’s important to focus on the children’s long-term ambitions and dreams, it’s the fundamentals that should be given top billing on the priorities list. It’s things like their health, education, and overall fitness that’ll play the biggest role in determining their prospects. As such, you’ll want to learn how to prepare healthy meals for the family, find a trustworthy family doctor, and play an active role when it comes to their schooling. If the essentials in life are managed well, but it’ll be much easier for everyone to be at their best. And of course, this includes you: you’ll be in a much better position to provide for your loved ones if you’re feeling at your best on a personal level.

Get Organized

Finally, it’s worthwhile setting up a system that leads to robust organization. There are too many facets of family life just to keep them in your head. By developing a routine and managing all the duties with the help of communal calendars and so on, you can make sure that everyone’s where they need to be at the right time. 

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How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

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When it comes to relationships, many different people have many different opinions and beliefs. Some believe you should always kiss on the first date provided you like someone, while others feel that this is a forced standard that should in no way be expected. Different genders, different personalities and different age groups all react to the dating scene differently. For example, consider the stark difference between a nineteen year old boy heading on a date and a sixty year old man wishing to find another person to settle down with in retirement, perhaps after losing a loved one. It’s not hard to think how both relationships might turn out differently.

Keeping your relationship healthy, especially in the early days, is not always something that is up for debate. There are better ideas and there are worse ones. For example, expecting your partner to wait on you hand and foot simply because you are now intimate is not a good idea, nor is the idea that you can treat them with less respect because of this.

Consider our advice for helping you make the best of your relationship. You’ll be surprised just how effective it can be:

Understand It’s A Work-In-Progress

A relationship is never ‘complete’ much in the same way that a bonfire is never ‘complete’. However, it can run cold and snuff out when the fuel isn’t there for it to continue. Understanding that your relationship is much like a bonfire is an incredibly important metaphor to consider, and this can make the most difference over time. 

Consider the start of a relationship. The first spark comes from the ember, and this causes the fire to burn. Perhaps it starts within a wooden house doused in petrol (attraction) and so the fire starts and you get on, well, like a house alight. The fire is raging, tearing through rooms, it’s so intense it makes you dizzy and also completely consumes you. Then, as this fades over time, the fire starts to die down but still burns with intensity. It has its fuel source, and it cannot spread anymore. This is until you find additional fuel for it.

In a relationship, you need to ensure that fire never goes out. You need to keep using fuel. From date nights to speaking deeply with one another to doing things to strengthen your friendship (a much more stable fire than romantic love could ever be), you begin to keep your relationship perfectly flamed. However, there’s a catch:

Both Need To Fuel It

Here’s the kicker. When finding fuel for our metaphor of a fire, there are two storage areas for you to place said energy to burn. One cannot place that energy in the vessel of the other. It needs to be mutual, and balanced. Otherwise, the fire will be lopsided, and will start to go out. 

Both need to keep the fire cared for. This means that if you feel that you do all the work in your relationship, you should speak about it to your partner. If you feel guilty because you know you haven’t been noticing them as much as you should, tell them, and make the effort. Too many people view their relationship as something that simply exists like a force of nature, something as immutable as the color of their eyes or their height. But it’s not. You created this within the course of your lifetime. It can easily be undone. So, if you think it’s worth saving and keeping care of, you need to put the effort in. Understanding this can be one of the best means of helping any relationship stay strong.

We would recommend being co-operative, sharing hobbies and also your own, being trusting and giving them their own space, but also protective, ensuring that they are doing well. Keeping any relationship healthy is much more than a simple fix. It is a sustained effort with a past, present and future, and it lives within you both. Understand this, and you’ll have an access of clarity.

Strengthen Your Friendship

Before, we alluded to the fact that friendship is a much more stable fire than romantic love. That is true, but let us explain why. Friendship is a relationship where we do not expect anything from the other, we only wish to help them succeed. When this is returned both ways, it can be extremely nourishing. Spending time hanging out with someone can often seem like no big deal, but you are quite literally investing the most precious resource you will ever have with them, time, and so that is the ultimate compliment.

Strengthening your friendship matters, and it helps you feel much more embodied within any relationship. Romantic love is wonderful, and it can be life-affirming in many ways. But unsustained by friendship, it is like trying to ride a horse that has not been tamed. You see it all the time, embodied in toxic relationships your friends might have, where they speak to on another like dirt and they seem to accept this is the natural state of things.

But this will not be you. Strengthen your friendship by doing things for one another without anything in the way of expectation in return. Watch how it will blossom, provided you are reciprocated. 

Learn The Art Of Communication

Without communication, you’re in trouble. You absolutely need to learn how to do this. If you cannot speak to one another, it might be too late. Learning the art of communication is something worth caring about. While looking up excellent guides to worrying questions such as ‘is he cheating?’ can often be a helpful tool to assess the signs and symptoms of infidelity, without talking about this topic carefully and being forthright about things, you will never have the answers that you seek. It’s in this way that relationships blossom and continually better themselves as the years pass on.

With this advice, you’re certain to keep your relationship healthy in the best manner possible.

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3 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

3 Ways To A Healthy Relationship

It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship. 

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Communication

You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together. 

Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them. 

If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward. 

Shared interests

It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.

This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs. 

Sex and trust

You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line. 

You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner. 

If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships. 

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Are You Living A Sexually Healthy Lifestyle?

Are You Living A Sexually Healthy Lifestyle?

There are many ways you can stay fit and healthy for your body, but what about sexuality? Sex is a part of everyone, you can’t help being who you are and we all have urges. However rather than thinking about sexy only when we want it, we need to start living a more sexually healthy lifestyle as well. For example, you may not even know that there are certain things you can do to improve your sexdrive and the health of your reproductive organs. We can’t demand our respective tools to jump into life whenever we want them to and not be in some kind of discomfort. We need to have a good heart first of all as our blood pressure and heart rate massively spike when we are in the act. We also need to stay active in between each meeting and that requires some different kinds of exercises.

For your benefit

The fat distribution for men and women is very different. Men store most of their fat on their upper body. Usually it’s all around their stomach and on the waist. For women however it’s mostly in the lower body such as in the hips, buttocks and legs. So to help your body be more ready for sex, you should workout these areas the more often. You don’t need to do weight training as this will burn off a lot of fat which you need. Instead you should do aerobics that focus on your buttocks and legs. This can be things like standing bodyweight squats, calf toning exercises and lunges to improve your rear. Overall this helps your joints as well, making you more flexible and improving your overall stamina too. 

On the go

You’d be surprised at how many couples have spontaneous sex. It’s not all about pre-planned meals with candlelights and romantic music. Many people would prefer to just have sex when they want it no matter where it is than have it planned. It’s just more exciting that way, but don’t forget you don’t want any unplanned mishaps. The benefit of pre-planned sex is that you can plan it out; obviously. So if you’re on the go, don’t make the unfortunate mistake of not carrying contraception options. You have many different contraceptive measures for men but also for women. It’s not just the pill, but things like the femidom and the ring. These things will help you and your partner have safer sex and prevent diseases from spreading or any unwanted pregnancies from occuring.

Engage in fantasy

Believe it not, sex can get boring. If it’s just too predictable it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. So engage in fantasy. Talk about your sexual desires, secrets and fantasies with your partner. But don’t just talk about them, act them out. You can fulfill each other’s fantasies and mix it up a bit. Keep sex fun, adventurous and indulge in your guilty pleasures.

Many of us aren’t worried about sex until we need it. You should work to have a better, healthier sex life by keeping your body is tip top shape. Engage in fantasies and spontaneous sex, but always be careful and be safe as well.

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Making Important Life Decisions That You Feel Happy About

Making Important Life Decisions That You Feel Happy About

Life is all about balance. There will be times where things just seems to be going your way, and then there will be moments where you have no choice but to make difficult decisions. Ultimately, you have to think about yourself and your family before anything else, and in some circumstances, people may not agree with your decision, but as long as you feel content and assured, then that’s all that matters. With that in mind, here are some of the important life decisions that you may need to consider and make in the near or distant future. 

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Deciding to get married

Finding someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with is not as easy as you might think. Some meet their partners in school and are childhood sweethearts, others will wait and kiss many frogs before finding their prince. However, many get to the stage where they are serious with someone and then ultimately the conversation regarding marriage will come up. Deciding on making that commitment is big, but in your heart of hearts you will already know what you want to do. 

Deciding to start a family

Whether marriage is on the cards or not, starting a family may be something that you start discussing. That might be because every conception story is different, and sometimes trying to conceive can take longer than you originally thought. Take time to consider your options and don’t be put off if it doesn’t happen straight away. It might be worth looking into things that you can do to improve your chances. 

What if you are not ready? 

Sometimes we are not ready for children when the situation arises accidentally. It might have been a time when your contraception failed you or simply just an error in judgement. It happens, and that might mean that you consider all of your options including an abortion clinic. However, these things can come at unexpected times and in theory after consideration it might not be a bad thing. Just make sure you take time before making any rash and life-changing decisions. 

Knowing what to do with your career

Your career and the job that you do is an important decision to make when it comes to life. After all, you spend a huge chunk of your time working, and you want to ensure that you feel happy and content. Sometimes we don’t realise what we are passionate about until later in life, so a career change may be on the cards for you. It could even mean starting your own business and working for yourself. Working from home for a better life and work balance and generally making some big decisions for your future career. 

Where you live and what you do with your life

Finally, where you live and what you do with your life are also big decisions that you may want to take time considering. Perhaps you want to live in a different country and experience a new culture. Maybe you want to do charity work or change your lifestyle in some way. Take time to think about what you want to do with your life, we only get one shot at it. 

Let’s hope this has given you something to think about when it comes to important life decisions. 

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How Life Can Change When You’re With Someone Right For You

How Life Can Change When You’re With Someone Right For You

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It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.

Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:

They’re Your Best Friend

Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.

You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way

It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.

You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells

Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.

With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.

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Self-Care During Divorce

Self-Care During Divorce

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Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. The world you knew is crumbling around you, while there are all kinds of legal and financial things that need to be dealt with. Having a good lawyer can help to put your mind at rest, at least where the legal side is concerned. Mediation services like Buncombe mediation can also help to take the stress off.

But what about the emotional side of divorce? While all of the technicalities are getting dealt with, it’s critical to take time for self-care and reflection. Everyone’s divorce situation is unique and each of us handles these challenges differently. If you’re feeling down, stressed or tense due to divorce, spending time to care for yourself will leave you much better off in the long run.

Talking it through

Help make this messy process easier to cope with by understanding some of the mental effects of divorce. It’s totally understandable for you to feel sad, angry, depressed, lost or any other combination of emotions right now. Give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Don’t be tempted to hide your emotions away or suppress them with drink, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Instead, turn to friends, family, or specially trained professionals who can help you to navigate your way through this maze of tangled emotions. It can help to tell friends and family exactly how you’d like to be supported, as these times can be hard for them to navigate, too. Let them know what will help you.

Remember if you feel that the divorce is affecting your mental health, it’s important to speak to a therapist who can help you to cope. There may be support groups you can go to where you can share exactly how you’re feeling with people who are going through the same thing.

Going easy on yourself

You might be finding it hard to concentrate on other things or spending a lot of time going over the situation in your head. You may even be feeling guilty or having negative thoughts about yourself. It’s natural to feel this way when you’re going through emotional challenges, but try to be kind to yourself.

Practicing self-compassion or mindfulness techniques can help you to see things from a different perspective. You could boost your self-confidence by writing a list of all of the things that you like about yourself or any compliments you’ve received that have stuck with you. Gratitude journals can also be a great way of maintaining a positive outlook, as it can help you to see the little things worth celebrating despite the heartache you’re going through.

Exercising

It’s no secret that exercise is great for mental health and overall wellbeing. Your self-esteem and confidence might have taken a dive during this time. It’s natural to want to hide away when you feel stressed or down. But you can boost your endorphins and your self-image by making time for exercise you enjoy. This could be a challenge you set yourself to take your mind off things. Alternatively, you could take up a new sport or activity that you’ve always wanted to try. Having a sense of excitement and accomplishment could give you a little boost when things seem hopeless and remind you there are new things on the horizon.

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5 Things You Can Do To Find A Date

5 Things You Can Do To Find A Date

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The dating game is hard. It doesn’t matter how smart, beautiful, or funny you are, it can be difficult to find that special someone. Far too many people rely on chance and wait around for their dream guy or girl to come to them. The trouble is, this is unlikely to happen, especially when the sort of person you want in your life is just as busy as you probably are. If you’re going to meet Miss or Mr Right, then you need to work at it. With that in mind, here are five ways to find a date.

1. Swipe Right On Apps

Dating apps can definitely be frustrating at times, but there is no option quite so simple. All you need to do is upload a few pictures, write a little about yourself, and then start swiping. Although people often tell the horror stories of online dating, there have been many successes too. As long as you stay safe and keep your wits about you, there’s no reason why it should go wrong.

2. Chat Over The Phone

While dating apps are convenient, some people prefer to talk over the phone than through messages. This is where freechatLines could come in. Whether you want to meet your soulmate or just talk to someone new, a chat line would allow you to do that. It’s fun, a great way to break the ice, and, because you’re talking over the phone, completely safe and private too.

3. Attend A Singles Event

Although it can definitely feel like it at times, you’re not the only one in your local area looking for a date. There are sure to be hundreds of other single people nearby. This is why singles events are so popular. These gatherings can come in many different shapes and sizes but are all full of people just like you. You could also try signing up for a class or social group of some kind.

4. Volunteer For A Charity

Volunteering is a great way to put yourself out there and meet new people. It’s also a particularly smart dating strategy for those looking to find someone compassionate and caring. Plus, you get to do some good for a cause close to your heart. There are many places you could volunteer, from animals shelters to beach cleanups. You just need to find a cause that you care about.

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5. Talk To A Friend

You may not know anyone that you want to date, but that doesn’t mean that your friends don’t. By letting your loved ones know that you’re looking for someone special, you give them a chance to find someone for you. Couples who meet through mutual friends benefit from having the same social group. Because of this, you should allow your loved ones to try to set you up.

Although the perfect person could find you by chance, this is unlikely to happen. If you want to meet your dream guy or girl, then take the advice above on board and start looking for them.

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How To Get Over A Heartbreak

How To Get Over A Heartbreak

Ending a relationship is not always easy on your emotions, and even a (very) brief summer romance concluding can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps. Getting back to the person you once were can seem like an impossible task, and it’s easy to head straight for the sad songs and terribly unhealthy food to fill the gap. However, it’s possible to move on if you’re willing to put in some effort and face the situation head on.

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Release Your Energy

Especially useful if your breakup didn’t go so smoothly and there’s bad blood and negative emotion, releasing the anger and other pent up feelings from inside through sport or exercise can give you a new lease of life. Kickboxing is a brilliant way to get out any resentment, and doing a long slow yoga session can help you collect your thoughts and feel more peaceful. Any form of exercise you do will cause your body to release endorphins, which are proven to reduce your perception of pain. Even by going on a run around the block, you’ll be helping yourself tenfold compared to wallowing in self pity inside.

Embrace The Solitude

It may seem like the worst aspect of your break up, but the fact that you now have more time on your own opens up the door to many opportunities. Take some time in the beginning to reflect on the experience in your own time, but in a positive manor. Alone time doesn’t have to have an empty feeling, you just have to occupy your time doing beneficial activities. Run yourself a hot bubble bath, slap on a chocolate face mask and dive into a really great book, the more humorous the storyline the better you will feel. Spending time with yourself should allow you to recharge your batteries and get your head straight.

Rid Yourself Of Social Media

The progression in technology has been beneficial for humankind as a whole, but when you’re fresh out of a relationship it’s like a knife in the back. The temptation of scrolling through your ex’s profile page is unbearable, but it always leads to tears when you see how well they’re appearing to be handling it all. However social media is not reality, and everyone online is creating an artificial persona of who they would like to be. Removing yourself from this type of toxic situation will allow you to grow into a more confident and self assured individual, and give you more of an opportunity to use the time on something more positive and productive. If you don’t to go cold turkey, just unfollow or unfriend you ex partner so you no longer have to see their posts.

The most important thing you must focus on after suffering a heartbreak is yourself. You are the center of your own world, and you have to work to make yourself happy. This is harder to remember whilst sitting in front of your divorce attorney, but hold your head high and make it work for you.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.