It can be difficult to make the right connections with the right people, and then assuming that you do manage to find a spark with a special someone, you then have the challenge of building a relationship with them. This should be fun and enjoyable, but we know that it can also have its rocky moments. Which is why today we want to share with you 3 ways to a healthy relationship.
You need to be open and honest with your partner and communicate effectively with them. If you are struggling with anything, you should be able to talk to them and trust in them to support you. You should be able to talk over the woes of your day freely with them and laugh together.
Some people are more chatty and communicative than others, but this need not be a barrier unless you make it one. If your partner is quiet, accept that about them, learn to read their moods and you will soon know whether you need to chat anything through with them.
If there are issues within your relationship you need to sit down and talk them through. Things rarely get better just by waiting them out, and neither of you are mind-readers so you do need to lay it out on the table so that you can move forward.
It is helpful to have shared interests, as you will then always have things to talk about, connect over and enjoy together. Perhaps you both love a certain sport, going to the movies, have the same group of friends or share a love of travel. Or perhaps it is more about your nature, and you have the same sense of humour, similar belief systems or attitudes to others and the world around you. These are the things that will both attract you and hold you together.
This is not to say that you need to be in one another’s pockets. It is also important to have your own separate social lives, as you want to come to each other as complete and happy individuals, not be reliant on each other to fulfil all of your needs.
Sex and trust
You do need to agree your emotional and sexual boundaries within any new relationship. Is this to be monotonous or are you open to seeing other people? Agree this early on to avoid any pain or confusion further down the line.
You then need to take your own sexual needs seriously and ensure that you are taking care of yourself and your body, so that you are leading a sexually healthy lifestyle. You need to be able to speak up for what you want, what you don’t want and what is important to you physically and emotionally. In doing so, you need to feel able to trust in your partner.
If this is an area that you are struggling with, it can be worth trying Sex Therapy & Counselling and try to avoid seeing this as a last ditch solution. This is something worth addressing sooner rather than later and can help to make a young relationship flourish or reignite long term relationships.
There are many ways you can stay fit and healthy for your body, but what about sexuality? Sex is a part of everyone, you can’t help being who you are and we all have urges. However rather than thinking about sexy only when we want it, we need to start living a more sexually healthy lifestyle as well. For example, you may not even know that there are certain things you can do to improve your sexdrive and the health of your reproductive organs. We can’t demand our respective tools to jump into life whenever we want them to and not be in some kind of discomfort. We need to have a good heart first of all as our blood pressure and heart rate massively spike when we are in the act. We also need to stay active in between each meeting and that requires some different kinds of exercises.
For your benefit
The fat distribution for men and women is very different. Men store most of their fat on their upper body. Usually it’s all around their stomach and on the waist. For women however it’s mostly in the lower body such as in the hips, buttocks and legs. So to help your body be more ready for sex, you should workout these areas the more often. You don’t need to do weight training as this will burn off a lot of fat which you need. Instead you should do aerobics that focus on your buttocks and legs. This can be things like standing bodyweight squats, calf toning exercises and lunges to improve your rear. Overall this helps your joints as well, making you more flexible and improving your overall stamina too.
On the go
You’d be surprised at how many couples have spontaneous sex. It’s not all about pre-planned meals with candlelights and romantic music. Many people would prefer to just have sex when they want it no matter where it is than have it planned. It’s just more exciting that way, but don’t forget you don’t want any unplanned mishaps. The benefit of pre-planned sex is that you can plan it out; obviously. So if you’re on the go, don’t make the unfortunate mistake of not carrying contraception options. You have many different contraceptive measures for men but also for women. It’s not just the pill, but things like the femidom and the ring. These things will help you and your partner have safer sex and prevent diseases from spreading or any unwanted pregnancies from occuring.
Engage in fantasy
Believe it not, sex can get boring. If it’s just too predictable it becomes a chore rather than a pleasure. So engage in fantasy. Talk about your sexual desires, secrets and fantasies with your partner. But don’t just talk about them, act them out. You can fulfill each other’s fantasies and mix it up a bit. Keep sex fun, adventurous and indulge in your guilty pleasures.
Many of us aren’t worried about sex until we need it. You should work to have a better, healthier sex life by keeping your body is tip top shape. Engage in fantasies and spontaneous sex, but always be careful and be safe as well.
Making Important Life Decisions That You Feel Happy About
Life is all about balance. There will be times where things just seems to be going your way, and then there will be moments where you have no choice but to make difficult decisions. Ultimately, you have to think about yourself and your family before anything else, and in some circumstances, people may not agree with your decision, but as long as you feel content and assured, then that’s all that matters. With that in mind, here are some of the important life decisions that you may need to consider and make in the near or distant future.
Finding someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with is not as easy as you might think. Some meet their partners in school and are childhood sweethearts, others will wait and kiss many frogs before finding their prince. However, many get to the stage where they are serious with someone and then ultimately the conversation regarding marriage will come up. Deciding on making that commitment is big, but in your heart of hearts you will already know what you want to do.
Deciding to start a family
Whether marriage is on the cards or not, starting a family may be something that you start discussing. That might be because every conception story is different, and sometimes trying to conceive can take longer than you originally thought. Take time to consider your options and don’t be put off if it doesn’t happen straight away. It might be worth looking into things that you can do to improve your chances.
What if you are not ready?
Sometimes we are not ready for children when the situation arises accidentally. It might have been a time when your contraception failed you or simply just an error in judgement. It happens, and that might mean that you consider all of your options including an abortion clinic. However, these things can come at unexpected times and in theory after consideration it might not be a bad thing. Just make sure you take time before making any rash and life-changing decisions.
Knowing what to do with your career
Your career and the job that you do is an important decision to make when it comes to life. After all, you spend a huge chunk of your time working, and you want to ensure that you feel happy and content. Sometimes we don’t realise what we are passionate about until later in life, so a career change may be on the cards for you. It could even mean starting your own business and working for yourself. Working from home for a better life and work balance and generally making some big decisions for your future career.
Where you live and what you do with your life
Finally, where you live and what you do with your life are also big decisions that you may want to take time considering. Perhaps you want to live in a different country and experience a new culture. Maybe you want to do charity work or change your lifestyle in some way. Take time to think about what you want to do with your life, we only get one shot at it.
Let’s hope this has given you something to think about when it comes to important life decisions.
It can be hard to find ‘the right person’ for you, and it can be hard to be the right person for someone else. When this happens, we know about it. It can feel like the world has somehow conspired to ensure the two of us meet, allowing us to bathe in enjoying one another’s company. However, after being in a bad relationship for some time, it can be hard to open yourself up to this, or think what it might look like.
Of course, first we should state that rushing into any relationship before you’ve had time to gather yourself and feel comfortable on your own is a bad idea. If you can’t love yourself, being with someone else is always something that leads to frustration. However, we hope to use this post to show you just what you stand to gain should you wait for the right person, and keep your standards high. After all, you are absolutely worth it. Here are some signs that might guide you in future:
They’re Your Best Friend
Friendship is actually a purer version of love than romantic love. Romantic love expects something of the other, it expects to be connected, it’s quite intense with those sentiments. But friendship simply wishes the other to be well, and is hardly as possessive as romance. This is why it can be a great idea to befriend the person beforehand, or know that even if you weren’t romantic together, you would be friends no matter what. When friendship comes easy, that’s an excellent sign that things could possibly work out.
You Feel Less Sure, But In A Good Way
It can often feel that when we’re single, everything is certain. We might not believe we were ever going to have kids, or that we would ever like to get married. But when you find someone right for you, you might start questioning those decisions. You’ll know when the power of this relationship can help you change your mind, because it will shock the old you. You might even consider tying the knot or considering a reversal vasectomy as a matter of principle, rather than anything else. In other words, the right relationship can often make you feel less sure in what you may have believed completely before, and as long as that’s completely consensual, that could be a good thing.
You Won’t Tread On Egg-Shells
Many relationships can often feel like you’re having to tread on egg-shells around certain topics. A sense of fear of offending the other can often take over, and once you kowtow too many times to this, it can be the standard in your relationship. When you meet the right person for you, this is no longer a regular occurence. In fact, it can be a sign of worry if things ever start to feel that way. Open and honest communication, not limitation, is likely to set the standard here.
With this advice, we hope you’re much better able to ensure you find Mr or Ms/Miss Right.
Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. The world you knew is crumbling around you, while there are all kinds of legal and financial things that need to be dealt with. Having a good lawyer can help to put your mind at rest, at least where the legal side is concerned. Mediation services like Buncombe mediation can also help to take the stress off.
But what about the emotional side of divorce? While all of the technicalities are getting dealt with, it’s critical to take time for self-care and reflection. Everyone’s divorce situation is unique and each of us handles these challenges differently. If you’re feeling down, stressed or tense due to divorce, spending time to care for yourself will leave you much better off in the long run.
Talking it through
Help make this messy process easier to cope with by understanding some of the mental effects of divorce. It’s totally understandable for you to feel sad, angry, depressed, lost or any other combination of emotions right now. Give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Don’t be tempted to hide your emotions away or suppress them with drink, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Instead, turn to friends, family, or specially trained professionals who can help you to navigate your way through this maze of tangled emotions. It can help to tell friends and family exactly how you’d like to be supported, as these times can be hard for them to navigate, too. Let them know what will help you.
Remember if you feel that the divorce is affecting your mental health, it’s important to speak to a therapist who can help you to cope. There may be support groups you can go to where you can share exactly how you’re feeling with people who are going through the same thing.
Going easy on yourself
You might be finding it hard to concentrate on other things or spending a lot of time going over the situation in your head. You may even be feeling guilty or having negative thoughts about yourself. It’s natural to feel this way when you’re going through emotional challenges, but try to be kind to yourself.
Practicing self-compassion or mindfulness techniques can help you to see things from a different perspective. You could boost your self-confidence by writing a list of all of the things that you like about yourself or any compliments you’ve received that have stuck with you. Gratitude journals can also be a great way of maintaining a positive outlook, as it can help you to see the little things worth celebrating despite the heartache you’re going through.
It’s no secret that exercise is great for mental health and overall wellbeing. Your self-esteem and confidence might have taken a dive during this time. It’s natural to want to hide away when you feel stressed or down. But you can boost your endorphins and your self-image by making time for exercise you enjoy. This could be a challenge you set yourself to take your mind off things. Alternatively, you could take up a new sport or activity that you’ve always wanted to try. Having a sense of excitement and accomplishment could give you a little boost when things seem hopeless and remind you there are new things on the horizon.
The dating game is hard. It doesn’t matter how smart, beautiful, or funny you are, it can be difficult to find that special someone. Far too many people rely on chance and wait around for their dream guy or girl to come to them. The trouble is, this is unlikely to happen, especially when the sort of person you want in your life is just as busy as you probably are. If you’re going to meet Miss or Mr Right, then you need to work at it. With that in mind, here are five ways to find a date.
1. Swipe Right On Apps
Dating apps can definitely be frustrating at times, but there is no option quite so simple. All you need to do is upload a few pictures, write a little about yourself, and then start swiping. Although people often tell the horror stories of online dating, there have been many successes too. As long as you stay safe and keep your wits about you, there’s no reason why it should go wrong.
2. Chat Over The Phone
While dating apps are convenient, some people prefer to talk over the phone than through messages. This is where freechatLines could come in. Whether you want to meet your soulmate or just talk to someone new, a chat line would allow you to do that. It’s fun, a great way to break the ice, and, because you’re talking over the phone, completely safe and private too.
3. Attend A Singles Event
Although it can definitely feel like it at times, you’re not the only one in your local area looking for a date. There are sure to be hundreds of other single people nearby. This is why singles events are so popular. These gatherings can come in many different shapes and sizes but are all full of people just like you. You could also try signing up for a class or social group of some kind.
4. Volunteer For A Charity
Volunteering is a great way to put yourself out there and meet new people. It’s also a particularly smart dating strategy for those looking to find someone compassionate and caring. Plus, you get to do some good for a cause close to your heart. There are many places you could volunteer, from animals shelters to beach cleanups. You just need to find a cause that you care about.
You may not know anyone that you want to date, but that doesn’t mean that your friends don’t. By letting your loved ones know that you’re looking for someone special, you give them a chance to find someone for you. Couples who meet through mutual friends benefit from having the same social group. Because of this, you should allow your loved ones to try to set you up.
Although the perfect person could find you by chance, this is unlikely to happen. If you want to meet your dream guy or girl, then take the advice above on board and start looking for them.
Ending a relationship is not always easy on your emotions, and even a (very) brief summer romance concluding can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps. Getting back to the person you once were can seem like an impossible task, and it’s easy to head straight for the sad songs and terribly unhealthy food to fill the gap. However, it’s possible to move on if you’re willing to put in some effort and face the situation head on.
Especially useful if your breakup didn’t go so smoothly and there’s bad blood and negative emotion, releasing the anger and other pent up feelings from inside through sport or exercise can give you a new lease of life. Kickboxing is a brilliant way to get out any resentment, and doing a long slow yoga session can help you collect your thoughts and feel more peaceful. Any form of exercise you do will cause your body to release endorphins, which are proven to reduce your perception of pain. Even by going on a run around the block, you’ll be helping yourself tenfold compared to wallowing in self pity inside.
Embrace The Solitude
It may seem like the worst aspect of your break up, but the fact that you now have more time on your own opens up the door to many opportunities. Take some time in the beginning to reflect on the experience in your own time, but in a positive manor. Alone time doesn’t have to have an empty feeling, you just have to occupy your time doing beneficial activities. Run yourself a hot bubble bath, slap on a chocolate face mask and dive into a really great book, the more humorous the storyline the better you will feel. Spending time with yourself should allow you to recharge your batteries and get your head straight.
Rid Yourself Of Social Media
The progression in technology has been beneficial for humankind as a whole, but when you’re fresh out of a relationship it’s like a knife in the back. The temptation of scrolling through your ex’s profile page is unbearable, but it always leads to tears when you see how well they’re appearing to be handling it all. However social media is not reality, and everyone online is creating an artificial persona of who they would like to be. Removing yourself from this type of toxic situation will allow you to grow into a more confident and self assured individual, and give you more of an opportunity to use the time on something more positive and productive. If you don’t to go cold turkey, just unfollow or unfriend you ex partner so you no longer have to see their posts.
The most important thing you must focus on after suffering a heartbreak is yourself. You are the center of your own world, and you have to work to make yourself happy. This is harder to remember whilst sitting in front of your divorce attorney, but hold your head high and make it work for you.
If you are now separated from your partner, you might find that it’s difficult to adjust to your new life. You might have had to find a new place to live, which could have proven to be very stressful on its own, but you might also now be living apart from your children. Some parents will find this a very upsetting situation to come to terms with, but it doesn’t always have to be bad. You will certainly be able to still see your children, and they might even be able to stay the weekends at yours.
To help you get used to living apart from your kids, here are some very useful dos and don’ts.
Do Know Your Rights
First of all, it might be necessary for you to know what your divorced father’s rights are. If you are a divorced mother who is living away from your kids, your rights will be very similar to those mentioned in the link. Unless you have shown some serious signs of neglect or of being a poor parent, then you will be allowed to see your kids on a regular basis. If you and your ex are still on good terms, you might want to agree to the kids spending so many nights at yours throughout the week. If you aren’t on good terms and your ex tries to keep you away from your kids, you should be within your legal rights to go to court and fight for better access.
Don’t Stop Paying Maintenance
You will be legally required to pay maintenance to your ex partner if the kids live with them for most of the time. In fact, even parents who don’t see their children are still obliged to pay for their maintenance. You must make sure that you make every payment on time otherwise you could end up being taken to court. If you do care for your children, though, I’m sure that you will be more than happy to pay this money to help support them.
Do Find A Support Network
If you do find that it is hard being separated from your kids for so long, you might find it really useful finding a support group. There are lots of these groups around the country that are made up of divorced or separated parents who no longer live with their kids. You will be able to offer each other help and advice. This is also a great way to meet some new friends who are in a similar situation to yourself.
Don’t Get Too Down About The Situation
It can be easy to start to feel very negative about your new life, but dwelling on this will only make you feel much worse. Ideally, you should try to stay positive. At least you can be very happy about still being able to see your kids on a regular basis!
You will find that you adapt to this new life situation if you follow these dos and don’ts.
Breaking up is always difficult,
regardless of the circumstances, but calling off an engagement is a whole new
level of heart crushing. To enter such a “deal” with someone, in the first
place, it takes being committed to someone to the point of wanting to grow old
together. What makes it even more heart wrenching is that this relationship
usually includes friends, family, finances, and logging.
Calling off an engagement that could lead to a bad marriage
is kinder than building a bad marriage. It is possible, but how to go through
such a turmoil in the least torturous way possible?
Saying the words
‘We need to talk’ is probably the most horrifying sentence to say and to hear, but sometimes it has to be said. Beating around the bush is the worst thing you can do. Instead, face the problem head-on. Say what it is that you want and why you want it. Include your fiancé[e] in the conversation. Talk with respect and kindness. Again, if you are not the one saying the words, have understanding for your partner’s reasons and try to bear it calmly.
The breakup is a serious trauma and all persons involved
need to have time to grieve and heal. It is best to give each other space and
resist the temptation to enter the endless “why” discussions and to be a part
of each other’s lives, no matter the cost. This doesn’t mean that, later on,
you won’t be able to have normal conversations or even be friends, but, for
now, you need time to mend your wounds.
If you and your former partner have lived together and
shared expenses, you probably have more ties beyond the emotional ones. If you
are still living together, until one of you finds a new place, make agreements
about respectful cohabitation, and search for a new place as soon as possible.
Paying the rent and bills should be divided equally, even if you are not
talking to each other, this is something you need to resolve.
Whose is the engagement ring?
Engagement rings are usually considered gifts contingent on
a wedding ceremony taking place. This means that the bride should return the
ring. Still, if the ring was offered as a gift for a special occasion (e.g.,
birthday), it is hers to keep.
State laws vary when it comes to the question who gets the ring. Some states consider
the ring a gift, while others have special terms in regards who breaks the
If there is a disagreement over the ring you can seek legal
counsel, but it is always better to talk things through.
Announcing the breakup
People you work with, your family, and friends will want to
know the engagement is called off. Since you don’t want to be the topic of
gossip and conversation, it is best to tell them yourself. There is no easy way
to do this, but it is the least painful for you and your former fiancé[e]
divide the list of guests. To avoid going through this too many times, make
announcements to groups of friends and family. Do not play the “blame game”,
say it is over in the most respectful way and that it is not open for
Making formal cancelations
The clergy member or wedding officiate needs to know the
wedding is canceled so he or she can take the date off the busy schedule. Keep
in mind that some clergy members can recommend at least one counseling session.
You will also need to contact all the vendors you have
hired to provide services during the ceremony or the reception. You probably
won’t get your deposit back and, in some cases, you will be liable for part of
Regardless of the reason of calling off the engagement, both of you should always keep in mind, and constantly repeat to yourselves if necessary, that the person you are leaving behind is the same person you once loved so much that you wanted to make an unbreakable vow to love and to hold for the rest of your lives.
No-one lives the entirety of their life without a few regrets; the best you can hope for is that they’re the right regrets, that they’re the ones you can live with. You might regret not having seen your favorite band on their final tour, but that thought isn’t going to give you too many sleepless nights later on in life. There are some things however, that can cause problems, both in the immediate future and when a person is looking back and reflecting on how they lived. The good news is that if you know what these big regrets tend to be, you can do things to ensure that you don’t end up living with them in the future. Below, we take a look at some areas of life that can cause issues later in life.
Everyone wants to fit in, to varying degrees. There are benefits to working hard to establish and maintain good relationships, but in our quest to be accepted, it’s often the case that we dampen certain sides of ourselves. We might tone down our views so as to not offend others, even when we don’t know for sure that they will be offended. The other side of the ‘fear of expression’ coin could be ‘fear of ridicule.’ No-one wants to be laughed at, which does seem to be an unavoidable aspect of putting yourself out there — no matter what you do, there’s always a chance that someone — or many people — will judge, mock, and the rest. The choice is between bowing down to this reaction or standing tall!
Working Too Much
We have to work in order to live. There’s no getting around that one! But we don’t need to work fifty plus hours a week, for years on end. There are advantages to working long hours — you’ll be paid more, most likely — but you’ll be missing out on a lot of the fun aspects of life. Even if you enjoy work, you probably don’t love it enough to make it essentially your entire life. Of course, it’s easy to fall into the idea that you have no choice but to work as many hours as you can — but in 95% of cases, that’s nonsense. There’s much to be said for working fewer hours and gently decreasing your standard of living. You’ll have more time to enjoy the finer things in life.
Taking Friends and Family For Granted
You don’t need us to tell you how annoying friends and family can be. They push your buttons, they have their annoying habits, you seem them too often — it’s enough to drive anyone mad. But who can blame them for being less than perfect? Ultimately, when you’re in a difficult moment, it’ll be your friends and family who are there to pick you up, help you out, and they’re also going to be there for all your happy moments, too. Later in life, many people look back and realize that they didn’t treat their loved ones as well as they could have. So give thanks for them, as often as you can! And if you’re really struggling to move past their annoying habits, just remember that you’re not perfect either….
Living Too Little
There comes the point in most people’s life when they want to find a partner, settle down, and live the life they want. However, it’s possible that this process can come too early in a person’s life. Because youth is so fleeting, people who settled down too early sometimes end up regretting not trying different modes of living before they decided on whatever lifestyle they ended up living for the bulk of their life. If you find yourself in this position, then it’s important to remember that there are no age limits on pushing yourself to try new things — it might be a little more difficult when you’re older, but you can do it.
In a talk about love, Alain de Botton references an old Eastern European philosopher, who says that “get married, and you’ll regret it. Don’t get married, and you’ll regret it.” You can’t win, basically. The only way to make it more bearable is to look for a person who isn’t “perfect,” but “good enough.” That’s love! Now, it’s always advisable to think carefully about long-term compatibility when it comes to finding a life partner, but what about having children? There’s a biological impulse that kicks in there, and though you need to make sure that your financially and emotionally ready for it, the decision can sometimes feel like it’s been taken out of your hands. Few people regret having children; many regret not having children. They feel like they’ve missed out on an essential life experience. Of course, some people can’t, for biological reasons, have children — but that problem is slowly being overcome, thanks to the work of companies like www.MCRMFertility.com. Having children definitely isn’t easy, far from it, but it is worth it! However, it’s also worth noting that you should never have children just because you think it’s something that you “should do,” something to tick off a bucket list. This is a lifelong commitment we’re talking about here.
Being Lead Away
No-one has all the answers as they’re navigating through life, especially in their formative years, and even more so when they’re going through a rough patch. During those times, we can often look to others to guide us — but while we can be drawn to people who are, say, fun, or daring, or who otherwise have something that we lack, it’s important that we’re not lead astray. Many people end up making poor decisions because they fall in with a bad crowd, who are friends in a loose sense, but who cause us to make mistakes. For a small amount of time, it’s no issue — but if it has a long-term, negative impact on a person’s life, they usually, and rightly, end up regretting it.
Poor Health Choices
When we’re young, everything is easy (ish), when it comes to our health. Being fit in your twenties doesn’t mean anything. It’s easy. However, the habits we fall into during those periods can have lasting effects. For example, smoking, drinking too much, or eating poorly. If we abuse our bodies for too long, the damage will be done (because they become part of our lifestyle), and we’ll feel the effects later on in life. Things like drinking might seem harmless, and the data shows that some drinking alcohol might not have a dramatic effect on the longevity of your life — but it does have an impact on the quality of your later years. To stay up and active for longer, a person needs good, healthy habits.