If you are now separated from your partner, you might find that it’s difficult to adjust to your new life. You might have had to find a new place to live, which could have proven to be very stressful on its own, but you might also now be living apart from your children. Some parents will find this a very upsetting situation to come to terms with, but it doesn’t always have to be bad. You will certainly be able to still see your children, and they might even be able to stay the weekends at yours.
To help you get used to living apart from your kids, here are some very useful dos and don’ts.
Do Know Your Rights
First of all, it might be necessary for you to know what your divorced father’s rights are. If you are a divorced mother who is living away from your kids, your rights will be very similar to those mentioned in the link. Unless you have shown some serious signs of neglect or of being a poor parent, then you will be allowed to see your kids on a regular basis. If you and your ex are still on good terms, you might want to agree to the kids spending so many nights at yours throughout the week. If you aren’t on good terms and your ex tries to keep you away from your kids, you should be within your legal rights to go to court and fight for better access.
Don’t Stop Paying Maintenance
You will be legally required to pay maintenance to your ex partner if the kids live with them for most of the time. In fact, even parents who don’t see their children are still obliged to pay for their maintenance. You must make sure that you make every payment on time otherwise you could end up being taken to court. If you do care for your children, though, I’m sure that you will be more than happy to pay this money to help support them.
Do Find A Support Network
If you do find that it is hard being separated from your kids for so long, you might find it really useful finding a support group. There are lots of these groups around the country that are made up of divorced or separated parents who no longer live with their kids. You will be able to offer each other help and advice. This is also a great way to meet some new friends who are in a similar situation to yourself.
Don’t Get Too Down About The Situation
It can be easy to start to feel very negative about your new life, but dwelling on this will only make you feel much worse. Ideally, you should try to stay positive. At least you can be very happy about still being able to see your kids on a regular basis!
You will find that you adapt to this new life situation if you follow these dos and don’ts.
Breaking up is always difficult,
regardless of the circumstances, but calling off an engagement is a whole new
level of heart crushing. To enter such a “deal” with someone, in the first
place, it takes being committed to someone to the point of wanting to grow old
together. What makes it even more heart wrenching is that this relationship
usually includes friends, family, finances, and logging.
Calling off an engagement that could lead to a bad marriage
is kinder than building a bad marriage. It is possible, but how to go through
such a turmoil in the least torturous way possible?
Saying the words
‘We need to talk’ is probably the most horrifying sentence to say and to hear, but sometimes it has to be said. Beating around the bush is the worst thing you can do. Instead, face the problem head-on. Say what it is that you want and why you want it. Include your fiancé[e] in the conversation. Talk with respect and kindness. Again, if you are not the one saying the words, have understanding for your partner’s reasons and try to bear it calmly.
The breakup is a serious trauma and all persons involved
need to have time to grieve and heal. It is best to give each other space and
resist the temptation to enter the endless “why” discussions and to be a part
of each other’s lives, no matter the cost. This doesn’t mean that, later on,
you won’t be able to have normal conversations or even be friends, but, for
now, you need time to mend your wounds.
If you and your former partner have lived together and
shared expenses, you probably have more ties beyond the emotional ones. If you
are still living together, until one of you finds a new place, make agreements
about respectful cohabitation, and search for a new place as soon as possible.
Paying the rent and bills should be divided equally, even if you are not
talking to each other, this is something you need to resolve.
Whose is the engagement ring?
Engagement rings are usually considered gifts contingent on
a wedding ceremony taking place. This means that the bride should return the
ring. Still, if the ring was offered as a gift for a special occasion (e.g.,
birthday), it is hers to keep.
State laws vary when it comes to the question who gets the ring. Some states consider
the ring a gift, while others have special terms in regards who breaks the
If there is a disagreement over the ring you can seek legal
counsel, but it is always better to talk things through.
Announcing the breakup
People you work with, your family, and friends will want to
know the engagement is called off. Since you don’t want to be the topic of
gossip and conversation, it is best to tell them yourself. There is no easy way
to do this, but it is the least painful for you and your former fiancé[e]
divide the list of guests. To avoid going through this too many times, make
announcements to groups of friends and family. Do not play the “blame game”,
say it is over in the most respectful way and that it is not open for
Making formal cancelations
The clergy member or wedding officiate needs to know the
wedding is canceled so he or she can take the date off the busy schedule. Keep
in mind that some clergy members can recommend at least one counseling session.
You will also need to contact all the vendors you have
hired to provide services during the ceremony or the reception. You probably
won’t get your deposit back and, in some cases, you will be liable for part of
Regardless of the reason of calling off the engagement, both of you should always keep in mind, and constantly repeat to yourselves if necessary, that the person you are leaving behind is the same person you once loved so much that you wanted to make an unbreakable vow to love and to hold for the rest of your lives.
Throughout the animal kingdom, species perform beautiful and colorful dance rituals to attract a mate. While humans do not have a specific ritual, we show physical clues that attract mates. With that said, when humans are on the dance floor, there are dances that are electric with sexual vibrations that drive our partners crazy with desire.
In this post, we will share some dance moves that are graceful, seductive, and without question, inviting.
There have been many scientific studies conducted around the world that prove that certain movements on the dancefloor attract mates sexually. (Really, scientific studies!) What did they prove? Men are attracted to women who seductively sway their hips, The seduction is stronger if she moves her arms fluidly while her hips sway. Women showed more sexual attraction to men when they danced with strong upper body movements.
This information brings us to our first dance on our list to make him want you.
Belly dancing has changed over the generations. In this dance, a woman celebrates her feminine charms with a dance that focuses on the hips. The dancer learns to move her hips independently from her rib cage and usually accents the hips with belts with hanging coins and decorations. You may not know that belly dancing was created as a dance that women performed for other women to celebrate her body and the ability to bring life into the world. Flowing veils and scarves, bare feet, and the use of her lovely arms extended over her head makes this dance a powerful pull to the man watching your performance.
The Tango has long been considered one of the sexiest dance. It combines the seductive action of the man and woman in the areas that attract mates the most. As they step in sync, their bodies are teasingly close. Even watching a couple dance the Tango is enough to light a fire that will not easily be extinguished. Having total control and complete eye contact while your bodies move as one is just
This solo Spanish dance has been turning heads since the 1700s. The Flamenco shows fire and excitement as the sexy costume twirls. Modern dancers use the fire that the dance generates to turn on her audience. If you are the partner of the Flamenco dancer, you will not take your eyes off her for a moment.
If you happen to know the Columbian dance, the Bambuco, you know the heat this couples dance generates. It is not quite as sexy as the Bachata, but not everyone wants to mimic having sex on the dance floor. This personal dance is performed a lot like a sexed up Waltz. One thing is for sure, if you master this dance, you have a partner for life.
We use dance to communicate with our partner. It takes us to a higher level. We connect through the music, the movement, and feelings in our souls. Sexuality is an important part of who we are. But, it is not all that we are. Expressing ourselves through this medium connects us powerfully and completely.
No-one lives the entirety of their life without a few regrets; the best you can hope for is that they’re the right regrets, that they’re the ones you can live with. You might regret not having seen your favorite band on their final tour, but that thought isn’t going to give you too many sleepless nights later on in life. There are some things however, that can cause problems, both in the immediate future and when a person is looking back and reflecting on how they lived. The good news is that if you know what these big regrets tend to be, you can do things to ensure that you don’t end up living with them in the future. Below, we take a look at some areas of life that can cause issues later in life.
Everyone wants to fit in, to varying degrees. There are benefits to working hard to establish and maintain good relationships, but in our quest to be accepted, it’s often the case that we dampen certain sides of ourselves. We might tone down our views so as to not offend others, even when we don’t know for sure that they will be offended. The other side of the ‘fear of expression’ coin could be ‘fear of ridicule.’ No-one wants to be laughed at, which does seem to be an unavoidable aspect of putting yourself out there — no matter what you do, there’s always a chance that someone — or many people — will judge, mock, and the rest. The choice is between bowing down to this reaction or standing tall!
Working Too Much
We have to work in order to live. There’s no getting around that one! But we don’t need to work fifty plus hours a week, for years on end. There are advantages to working long hours — you’ll be paid more, most likely — but you’ll be missing out on a lot of the fun aspects of life. Even if you enjoy work, you probably don’t love it enough to make it essentially your entire life. Of course, it’s easy to fall into the idea that you have no choice but to work as many hours as you can — but in 95% of cases, that’s nonsense. There’s much to be said for working fewer hours and gently decreasing your standard of living. You’ll have more time to enjoy the finer things in life.
Taking Friends and Family For Granted
You don’t need us to tell you how annoying friends and family can be. They push your buttons, they have their annoying habits, you seem them too often — it’s enough to drive anyone mad. But who can blame them for being less than perfect? Ultimately, when you’re in a difficult moment, it’ll be your friends and family who are there to pick you up, help you out, and they’re also going to be there for all your happy moments, too. Later in life, many people look back and realize that they didn’t treat their loved ones as well as they could have. So give thanks for them, as often as you can! And if you’re really struggling to move past their annoying habits, just remember that you’re not perfect either….
Living Too Little
There comes the point in most people’s life when they want to find a partner, settle down, and live the life they want. However, it’s possible that this process can come too early in a person’s life. Because youth is so fleeting, people who settled down too early sometimes end up regretting not trying different modes of living before they decided on whatever lifestyle they ended up living for the bulk of their life. If you find yourself in this position, then it’s important to remember that there are no age limits on pushing yourself to try new things — it might be a little more difficult when you’re older, but you can do it.
In a talk about love, Alain de Botton references an old Eastern European philosopher, who says that “get married, and you’ll regret it. Don’t get married, and you’ll regret it.” You can’t win, basically. The only way to make it more bearable is to look for a person who isn’t “perfect,” but “good enough.” That’s love! Now, it’s always advisable to think carefully about long-term compatibility when it comes to finding a life partner, but what about having children? There’s a biological impulse that kicks in there, and though you need to make sure that your financially and emotionally ready for it, the decision can sometimes feel like it’s been taken out of your hands. Few people regret having children; many regret not having children. They feel like they’ve missed out on an essential life experience. Of course, some people can’t, for biological reasons, have children — but that problem is slowly being overcome, thanks to the work of companies like www.MCRMFertility.com. Having children definitely isn’t easy, far from it, but it is worth it! However, it’s also worth noting that you should never have children just because you think it’s something that you “should do,” something to tick off a bucket list. This is a lifelong commitment we’re talking about here.
Being Lead Away
No-one has all the answers as they’re navigating through life, especially in their formative years, and even more so when they’re going through a rough patch. During those times, we can often look to others to guide us — but while we can be drawn to people who are, say, fun, or daring, or who otherwise have something that we lack, it’s important that we’re not lead astray. Many people end up making poor decisions because they fall in with a bad crowd, who are friends in a loose sense, but who cause us to make mistakes. For a small amount of time, it’s no issue — but if it has a long-term, negative impact on a person’s life, they usually, and rightly, end up regretting it.
Poor Health Choices
When we’re young, everything is easy (ish), when it comes to our health. Being fit in your twenties doesn’t mean anything. It’s easy. However, the habits we fall into during those periods can have lasting effects. For example, smoking, drinking too much, or eating poorly. If we abuse our bodies for too long, the damage will be done (because they become part of our lifestyle), and we’ll feel the effects later on in life. Things like drinking might seem harmless, and the data shows that some drinking alcohol might not have a dramatic effect on the longevity of your life — but it does have an impact on the quality of your later years. To stay up and active for longer, a person needs good, healthy habits.
Your health is one of the most important parts of your life, and you shouldn’t be letting anything compromise this. Many people don’t intentionally damage their health, they just don’t realize that what they are doing is actually harmful. That’s why it is so important that you have come across this article because we are going to be discussing some of the things that you can do to take control of your health today. So if you are interested in finding out what these things are, keep reading!
One of the most important things that you can do for your body is to ensure that it is getting enough sleep. It can be difficult to do this, especially when you have a busy life calling to you at all hours of the day and night. But, it is important that you are making sure you have enough time for at least seven hours of sleep every night. Your body needs this rest time to complete all of the other important processes that it cannot do when it’s awake. Think of it this way, when you are at work you need to prioritize the most important things, and then do the others when you have the time. This is exactly what your body does, and when you’re asleep, it gets the time it needs to rest and make sure everything in your body is working properly.
Many people have issues with sleep, and we know that getting this amount of sleep is easier said than done. But, there are some steps that you can take to ensure that you get a better night of sleep. The first thing that you can do is to leave all the electronics outside of your bedroom when it is time for bed. This way, you are not going to have buzzing and beeping distracting you all night. You should see improvements in your sleeping as soon as you start doing it.
Have you thought about your eating habits? Do you think that they are negatively impacting your health at all? If so, then this is something that you need to change immediately. Some of the signs that this is the case are that you are constantly tired, your skin breaks out regularly as this could be caused by sugars and fats, or that you have noticed you are not eating fruits or vegetables. Your plate should consist of at least one-third of vegetables to ensure that you are getting the right amount of minerals from these sources.
There are plenty of sites online that can help you find a good diet plan that works for you. Remember here though that you don’t want to feel as though you are restricting yourself with certain foods as you are more likely to overeat if you do this.
Consult A Professional
Professionals are great to consult when you are trying to take control of your health. You need to have a check-up to make sure that you are in a good physical condition, the same also goes for your mental health. You should make an appointment with your doctor to get this arranged, and then you will know that you are in good health. Even if you are not in the best health, you can then take the measures that are necessary to get yourself in the best health possible. However, it is important to keep in mind that doctors are not always 100% right, and if something does go wrong you should seek alternative help. It is easy to see here why some people would prefer to go to other professionals to get the advice that they need, but a doctor is always going to be a good option.
Are you active enough? It is likely that the answer to this question is no, and that is largely due to the fact that most people have very busy lives. It can be difficult to find enough time to fit in the amount of activity that is necessary to stay healthy. Some people just don’t like completing exercise and workouts, but that’s okay because walking is also a great form of exercise. If you track your steps, you can be sure that you are getting the right amount of activity per day, without completing workouts at the gym.
Or, if you do like to go to the gym, you should make the time to do this. It doesn’t have to be for two hours every day, even one hour a few days a week is going to make a marked difference. Ensuring that you are active enough is a great way to take control of your health!
What About Stress?
Finally, have you thought about the amount of stress that is in your life? Stress does not just have emotional impacts, but it can also manifest in physical symptoms if it gets severe enough. These can include a breakout of spots, loss of energy, frustration and so on. You need to find out where the stress is coming from and start trying to reduce it as much as possible. To do this, you need to take a good look at your life and find out what makes you happy, and what is not.
Once you have identified these areas, you can start cutting things out that are no longer necessary. We are not suggesting that you cut out your job just because it is causing you stress, but toxic relationships and others like this should definitely be in line to go. Use the general rule of if it’s not bringing anything productive or positive to your life, then it should go.
We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now have a better idea of how to take control of your health today. If you take this advice, you are going to find that you are in total control of your mental, physical and emotional health from now on!
5 Pieces of Advice for a Relationship That’s on the Rocks
You have been trudging through life at a snail’s pace recently, especially when it comes to every aspect of your relationship or marriage. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction for you at the moment, but you’re not sure how to rectify it all. Perhaps you’re going through some big marriage problems right now or you have lost your identity in an overbearing relationship. There are many ways that you can get the spring back into your step, without causing yourself too much distress. Consider some of the following pieces of advice and you will soon feel happier, healthier and more independent.
1. Explore Your Options
When you’re extremely unhappy in your marriage you need to think long and hard about your future. If you don’t feel able to continue your life as it is, then you might need to start thinking about making some serious changes. Visit the following website https://www.browndahan.com/what-we-do/divorce/ and see if a divorce lawyer might be able to advise you during this time in your life. It is a life changing decision to make, but most of the time you will feel a huge release once you have go through with the process. Even if you’re not ready to go through with it yet, you will at least be able to figure out if it’s something you need to pursue.
2. Know Your Worth
If your other half keeps on bringing you down then you need to know that you’re so much better than that. You should never accept unsolicited criticism, especially if it is making you feel self-conscious. If your partner has been abusing you verbally then you need to assess what’s best for your own mental health.
3. Seek Professional Advice
There might be parts of the relationship that are salvageable if you want to seek out professional advice from a couple’s therapist. Talking to someone who can act as a mediator will help you both to get back on track with your marriage or long term relationship.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away
It takes a courageous person to be able to walk away from a toxic relationship, because you are suddenly facing the world alone. If someone has been by your side for most of your life it can be very difficult to let them go, even if they aren’t bringing positivity to your life. Be courageous and stand up for yourself whenever necessary; you are bound to feel empowered as soon as you go through with it.
5. Pursue Something That Makes You Happy
If you have been stuck in an unhappy relationship for a while, you might have lost your inner spark. Pursuing something that makes you truly happy might just be the best cure for your problems as your mind will be taken off the rocky goings on in your life right now.
So be brave and make the right decision for you as an individual, instead of fighting for a relationship that is making you unhappy.
There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.
Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.
There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.
Realise that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love — love is something you discover and build over time
A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.
It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.
It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.
Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.
Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.
Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything
They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.
If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.
Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.
Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act
We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.
In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.
But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.
Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.
Time to See a Psychologist: When You Feel Like You’re Growing Apart
Relationships are about growth. You meet, fall in love, and start a life together. It takes time a patience to build a lasting relationship. However, even in the strongest of relationships, everyone has moments of getting weary.
The honeymoon phase is over
It’s a fictitious timeframe when couples stop being on their best behaviors and get real. This is usually the time when the first heated augments occur. This is the time when you might realize your partner’s annoying habits like leaving the toilet seat up all the time. This might be the time you decide not to wear the most alluring under-garments all the time.
Some people dread the idea of the honeymoon phase coming to an end, but this is really the time when couples make it or break it. It’s a lot smoother of a transition if you decide to be real with your partner early on in the relationship.
Seven year stretch
Your relationship had withstood some time and before you realize, you’ve made it to your 7th anniversary. The seven year stretch sounds like fake news, but scientific studies have shown this phase is real for humans. It’s been proven that whether in a relationship or single, people go through a transition every seven years. As couples hit seven years together, it’s a good time to recognize the growth you’ve done as an individual and as a couple. This is the time to set new goals, maintain togetherness, and cultivate the areas in yourself, your partner, and the parts of the relationship that need a little extra TLC.
Prevent Falling Apart
There’s no guarantee or magic that is fireproof nowadays. People grow at different rates, and there are plenty of distractions out there to pull you away from your partner. However, making a conscious choice to remain focused in your relationship is key. Self-control is the only thing you need to be concerned with. You can’t control your partner, nor should you want to. Having a partner is having a mate who can be your equal, or the yin to your yang.
You might not see eye to eye on everything like you once did, but compromise has gotten you two far in your relationship. Like people take vitamins to prevent sickness, why not invest in marriage counseling before there’s a major problem? Talking to a qualified psychologist to help you two through simple disagreements could perhaps prevent big problems down the line.
Remember every flower grows at different rates. So don’t give up on your partner if they are growing in a different direction or at a different speed. It’s just a sign for you to get to pruning and watering your relationship. I love the quote by Neil Barringham, ‘The grass is greener where you water it’.
Relationship Therapy: Things to Do Before Saying ‘I Do’
So your special someone asked, and you said ‘yes’! Congratulations!
Now the whirlwind starts. After you’ve called everyone you know, posted on social media, and thought of how amazingly happy you’re still going to be on your Golden Anniversary, there’s a few things you need to do before you start planning the guest list and centerpieces.
Remember What the Wedding is For
So many times the wedding gets bigger than the marriage. If you’re not sure what I mean by that, just look at the current divorce rate. A lot of those now parted couples had an amazing venue, but a fragile union. A wedding is about a marriage, which entails two people. You’re guest list might have hundreds, but they aren’t there during the flu or financial struggles. These things are part of real, everyday life. You and your partner need to be able to work together to handle life, not only at it’s best, but also at it’s worst.
So, when planning the wedding, remember it’s a day about you two and the guests are there to celebrate with you. Don’t worry about pleasing everyone, just make sure you and your partner are happy with the plans.
Plan Out the Paperwork
If there are plans to sign a prenup, both parties need to discuss, openly, questions and concerns. A prenuptial agreement isn’t necessary for everyone. Also understand, a prenuptial agreement isn’t setting a marriage up for failure, it’s simply protecting both parties in case the worst should happen.
After you get married there’s a ton of paperwork, especially if you are taking your partners last name. You have to change your name on everything you currently have, but then there’s a few new things you’ll need to think of. Insurances will need to be done. Call your providers and see what they will need after your wedding to update your policies. Next, do you plan on getting life insurance straight away? It’s always a strange and heart-wrenching conversation to have with the person you are just about to start a life with, but it’s important to know how you and your partner want things to be handled when that day comes.
The biggest discussion on prepping paperwork is usually a joint bank account.
Get on the Money
Finances are the leading cause of arguments in a relationship and can sadly lead to divorce. It doesn’t matter the amount of money or lack thereof. It’s more about how people treat money. If you and your partner have different ideas about money, it’s best to discuss that beforehand. Many couple find success in the system of yours, mine, ours. This allows responsibilities to get paid as well as you have your account to buy another pair of shoes and they have theirs to buy a bigger tv without either of you building resentment.
A lot of churches now have couples come for several visits before the big day. Some churches call it class while others call it counseling. Either way, it’s for couples to talk about the growth of relationships and how to handle when problem arise.
Not every couple gets married in churches nowadays, but it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t take part in Premarital Counseling. Using therapy and learning how to handle a difficult situation before it happens is kind of like fire prevention. It doesn’t mean you can prevent the argument, but you can help extinguish it before it rages out of control.
These things will help you, not only in your union, but can come in handy while planning the big day as well. Best wishes!
There once was a time when young girls and boys made dreams and plans on whom they were going to marry. However, it seems like times have changed, and 20-somethings aren’t running down the alter as fast as their parents did.
Millennials Saying ‘I Don’t’
Today with the divorce ratio so high, studies show those that the now young adults are choosing to live together instead of making their commitment legal. In fact, these same studies are showing couples maintaining a more loving relationship with higher prospects of longevity.
Commitment Without ‘I Do’
Many couples start out ‘talking’. If they really feel a connection, they become ‘exclusive’. But then what, what’s next? For starters, it seems like the true commitment nowadays starts at the point of exclusivity. Choosing to be in a healthy, monogamous relationship is a start in the right direction. However, older generations might not understand the choice of living out of wedlock. They might even think the way Millennials handle being committed to one another is simply a strong mindset to no longer swipe left or right on a dating app. But let’s be honest, it’s so much more than that…
Choosing Who to be Exclusive With
It’s always been important throughout the ages to choose the right partner in life. But today, I think couples aren’t afraid to wait for the right person. Not many women in today’s world fear being an classified as an ‘old maid’. Thanks to Destiny’s Child, woman celebrate their financial independence. Men also have no shame in waiting. Couples dig deeper, looking to one another in how this relationship makes sense on all-levels, not solely based on the feeling of being head-over-heels in love.
Time for You to Move In
Establishing some boundaries in the beginning of living together is important because as time goes on, in any relationship, married or not, boundaries form as well as breakdown. When you have an idea of what one another expects or needs, it’s not a total shock when you find out how your partner really lives 24/7.
Fighting like Your Married
Just because you didn’t cut a cake together doesn’t mean you won’t have rough times. Relationships are meant to have growing pains. Just because a couple isn’t married, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be self-serving all the time. A relationship is about devotion. Make time for one another, plan dates, divvy up the chores, and give each other safe spaces. These are the things that keep a relationship strong without building resentment. And now I should mention, just because you’re not married doesn’t give you a free pass to cut and run when times get hard. Because guess what, times may get hard. It’s part of life whether you’re single, in a relationship or married. Couples therapy has become very mainstream. Speaking to a counselor, instead of your closest friends could be more beneficial in your relationship.
Marriage Isn’t Off the Table
Just because you choose to not get married today doesn’t mean it never can happen. Plenty of long-term couples start families, and then decide to tie the knot down the line. It is true that it’s easier to ‘Do’ than un-do a marriage. But as long as you and your partner are on the same page about making a vow of commitment without the legal paperwork, building a happy life together, with or without children, is absolutely possible. Remember, fairytales are what you make of them.