Tag Archives: parent’s caregiver

Be A Guide Through Their Life And Yours: Coping With Aging Parents

Be A Guide Through Their Life And Yours: Coping With Aging Parents

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Having parents getting older to the point where you need to look for a retirement community or another way to care for them is an incredibly difficult thing for us to go through. Naturally, they are going through a major change, but we are as well. It’s important that when we go through this, we have to figure out appropriate coping strategies. Naturally, there are things that we are all undergoing that’s a bit alien to us, so what are the best methods for us to be a guide, not just for our parents, but for ourselves as well?

Learn Around The Subject

When it comes to something like age-related cognitive decline, like Alzheimer’s or dementia, it’s worth doing your research to understand the dementia causes and symptoms so you are better prepared. Understanding a subject as dense as getting older means that it can take a long time to learn, so at the same time, while you need to arm yourself with appropriate knowledge, don’t underestimate how much you can learn while living through the moment. It’s important to read around the subject. 

Look After Yourself As Well

Caring for your parents, or even worrying about them means that you can slowly sink into minimal forms of anxiety. As well as this your relationship with your significant other could struggle. It’s important to find the right ways to look after them, as well as yourself. Figure out if you need some proper me time, but also so it’s important not to feel so guilty on occasion. Life is very busy, but what you need to do is prepare adequately. The more things you can do to structure the day, the better it is for everyone. We have a lot to give to other people in our lives, and so we have to remember that we’ve got to give to ourselves as well.

Understand Your Emotions And Reactions

Because we have to process all these things that we’re going through, it’s a new sensation, but it’s very scary. If your parents are succumbing to cognitive decline you can very well go through the processes of grief before they pass away and this can feel, naturally, very upsetting. But it’s about ensuring that you don’t lock yourself off to these emotions. As we go through life, we have to remember that these things are natural sensations, and when we haven’t experienced them before, they can feel very raw. Sometimes we need to understand what we’re going through, but at the same time, we also need to process it. This is why we have to stay in the moment on occasion because it can feel like we are distancing ourselves for the very natural reason that we want to protect ourselves. But when it comes to the two people that raised you, it can feel like a very difficult thing to confront. But it’s okay to feel upset, and it’s okay to give yourself a break on occasion. What you are going through is very difficult, and rather than burying your head in the sand, coping strategies can help wonders.

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4 Ways to Help to Elderly Parents without Draining Yourself and Your Budget

4 Ways to Help to Elderly Parents without Draining Yourself and Your Budget

by Guest Blogger, Caitlin E.

Source: freepik.com (free to use and share)

Your parents took care of you when you were a kid. They paid for your education and food. They raised you to be a good person. And while they didn’t do that expecting you to return the favor, there might come a day when they’ll need you to step in.

Of course, if that day comes, it will mean that you have to make some changes in your lifestyle, regarding your career, personal life, and finances. No one expects you to give up on your life to care for your parents. But you will need to learn to balance your responsibilities in a way that enables you to continue making an income, caring for your family, and giving your parents all the attention they need.

Because you should not be in this alone, here are a few tips that will help you get through this situation.

See if They Need Help and How Much Help They Need

It’s always hard to admit that our parents, who we considered to be our superheroes, are ill and powerless. Facing the facts early on will help you give them the best care they need. The best thing you can do is to talk to your parents first because they need to be involved in every decision that concerns them.

Then, search for the signs they need help:

  • They’re struggling with household chores.
  • Their personal hygiene is not as it used to be.
  • They’re not eating regularly.
  • They struggle to move around the house and neighborhood.
  • They’re losing hand-eye coordination, which prevents them from driving safely, using tools, and other necessities.
  • They’re losing track of their medication.

Once you determine the condition of your parents, you will know the degree of care they require. For example, they might only need you to help with paying the bills or doing household chores. In more severe cases, they will require assistance with getting dressed and moving around.

Talk to Your Employer

Trying to juggle work and the new responsibilities might be the first to come to mind when you find yourself in a situation like this. However, in most cases, this feat results in dropping one juggling ball. Your productivity will definitely suffer, and your boss will notice it. It’s better for you to tell him/her before this happens.

Be honest. Try to point out your value to the company and explain that you will still do your best to contribute. You can ask to work from home for some time or take family days. Your company might even offer some benefits you can use.

Examine the Financial Situation and Make Plans

The financial aspect of being a caregiver is not to be neglected, as it can take quite a toll on both your and your parents’ budget.

First, you need to asses your current financial situation and see if there is room for savings. As a family caregiver, you might have a chance for a tax deduction, so check that out as well.

Later, you should do the same with your parents’ retirement income, but this is a touch topic. You’ll need to assure your parents that you have their best interest at heart. If they haven’t applied for social security yet, help them do it, and look for any tax and other reliefs that can help. For example, being a member of The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) provides various services, such as insurance coverage and discounts for certain medical equipment.

Consider downsizing their living arrangements as a way of cutting unnecessary expenses and adding to their savings. Of course, it is imperative to plan for the long term and create a budget that will cover the costs of future care.

Don’t Do Everything on Your Own

Taking on all the responsibilities alone can only cause you to burn out faster and damage your own health, which will result in a decreased ability to take care of your parents.

There’s no shame in asking a sibling or a relative for help when it comes to taking your parents to the doctor’s or cleaning the house. If your kids are teenagers or older, they can also help around the house or just be good company to their grandparents. Ask the neighbors to check up on your parents every once in a while and let you know about their condition. This way, the burden will feel lighter, and you’ll be able to balance your life more successfully.

Finally, don’t neglect your health and personal needs. You are of no use to your parents if you’re miserable or sick. Try to find the time to rest, sleep, and socialize, and when you come to their house with a smile on your face, they will feel much better too.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
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Care At Home – Or In A Home: The Big Question With Aging Parents

Care At Home – Or In A Home: The Big Question With Aging Parents

Nobody can predict the future. And while I could hazard a guess that most of you reading this post would love to allow their parents to age gracefully in their own home – or even yours – you just can’t tell what might happen. Illnesses, repetitive injuries, and complicated psychological issues could all play their part. And even if you do make the decision that you will definitely be your parent’s caregiver, who’s to say you will be in a position to do it when the time comes?

There are a lot of considerations to think about – and to be honest, it is almost impossible to make a decision now, without knowing what the future holds. But the sooner we all start thinking about things, the more prepared we will be to make that important decision. With this in mind, here are a few things you should be thinking about right now, so you are ready to deal with them in the years to come.

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Emotional cost

Yes, sending your parents to a residential home is going to be expensive. But you might be surprised to learn that there are enormous costs involved when they need care in their home, too. Millions of people all over the country care for ageing and ill parents and relatives and an increasing number are providing hands-on care. It’s a lot of work. Unless you can afford to pay medical staff and support workers, you can expect it to be a full-time job, and it will be incredibly draining, stressful, and can take you away from bringing up your own family.

Financial cost

Money has to be taken into account. As much as we would all love to say it makes no difference, the cost of caring for a parent at home is significant. You may need to give up your job, pay for medical services, and maybe even shell out for adaptations to your parent’s home – or yours. In short, whether you choose a care home or look after your folks yourself, there is a chance it will have a profound effect on your finances.

Approaching the end

There will come a time when your folks will be close to the end. And if they are suffering from something like end-stage cancer palliative care is of vital importance. Your loved one will be undergoing a lot of pain, and be experiencing the impact of a massive array of symptoms. They will need doctors to treat them, nurses to care for them, and also people who can provide them with the psychological support they require. While many people prefer to see out their days at home, there are some scenarios where getting help from a professional setting will be better for everyone.

The guilt

Unless money is no object, at some point you are going to have to make a choice – and live with it. Either way, you are going to feel guilty. On the one hand, if you decide on residential care, you might have to go against the wishes of your parents. But on the other, keeping them at home may prevent them from receiving the care they need to live out their days comfortably, or the support they need in the event of an emergency. Whichever direction you end up choosing, you have to remember that you will still be a big part of the care team, but you will also have to accept reality.

It’s a tough call, for sure. But hopefully, these factors will help you feel a little better about making a decision when the time comes. Hopefully, that won’t be for many years…

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram