Tag Archives: in a relationship

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

How To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

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When it comes to relationships, many different people have many different opinions and beliefs. Some believe you should always kiss on the first date provided you like someone, while others feel that this is a forced standard that should in no way be expected. Different genders, different personalities and different age groups all react to the dating scene differently. For example, consider the stark difference between a nineteen year old boy heading on a date and a sixty year old man wishing to find another person to settle down with in retirement, perhaps after losing a loved one. It’s not hard to think how both relationships might turn out differently.

Keeping your relationship healthy, especially in the early days, is not always something that is up for debate. There are better ideas and there are worse ones. For example, expecting your partner to wait on you hand and foot simply because you are now intimate is not a good idea, nor is the idea that you can treat them with less respect because of this.

Consider our advice for helping you make the best of your relationship. You’ll be surprised just how effective it can be:

Understand It’s A Work-In-Progress

A relationship is never ‘complete’ much in the same way that a bonfire is never ‘complete’. However, it can run cold and snuff out when the fuel isn’t there for it to continue. Understanding that your relationship is much like a bonfire is an incredibly important metaphor to consider, and this can make the most difference over time. 

Consider the start of a relationship. The first spark comes from the ember, and this causes the fire to burn. Perhaps it starts within a wooden house doused in petrol (attraction) and so the fire starts and you get on, well, like a house alight. The fire is raging, tearing through rooms, it’s so intense it makes you dizzy and also completely consumes you. Then, as this fades over time, the fire starts to die down but still burns with intensity. It has its fuel source, and it cannot spread anymore. This is until you find additional fuel for it.

In a relationship, you need to ensure that fire never goes out. You need to keep using fuel. From date nights to speaking deeply with one another to doing things to strengthen your friendship (a much more stable fire than romantic love could ever be), you begin to keep your relationship perfectly flamed. However, there’s a catch:

Both Need To Fuel It

Here’s the kicker. When finding fuel for our metaphor of a fire, there are two storage areas for you to place said energy to burn. One cannot place that energy in the vessel of the other. It needs to be mutual, and balanced. Otherwise, the fire will be lopsided, and will start to go out. 

Both need to keep the fire cared for. This means that if you feel that you do all the work in your relationship, you should speak about it to your partner. If you feel guilty because you know you haven’t been noticing them as much as you should, tell them, and make the effort. Too many people view their relationship as something that simply exists like a force of nature, something as immutable as the color of their eyes or their height. But it’s not. You created this within the course of your lifetime. It can easily be undone. So, if you think it’s worth saving and keeping care of, you need to put the effort in. Understanding this can be one of the best means of helping any relationship stay strong.

We would recommend being co-operative, sharing hobbies and also your own, being trusting and giving them their own space, but also protective, ensuring that they are doing well. Keeping any relationship healthy is much more than a simple fix. It is a sustained effort with a past, present and future, and it lives within you both. Understand this, and you’ll have an access of clarity.

Strengthen Your Friendship

Before, we alluded to the fact that friendship is a much more stable fire than romantic love. That is true, but let us explain why. Friendship is a relationship where we do not expect anything from the other, we only wish to help them succeed. When this is returned both ways, it can be extremely nourishing. Spending time hanging out with someone can often seem like no big deal, but you are quite literally investing the most precious resource you will ever have with them, time, and so that is the ultimate compliment.

Strengthening your friendship matters, and it helps you feel much more embodied within any relationship. Romantic love is wonderful, and it can be life-affirming in many ways. But unsustained by friendship, it is like trying to ride a horse that has not been tamed. You see it all the time, embodied in toxic relationships your friends might have, where they speak to on another like dirt and they seem to accept this is the natural state of things.

But this will not be you. Strengthen your friendship by doing things for one another without anything in the way of expectation in return. Watch how it will blossom, provided you are reciprocated. 

Learn The Art Of Communication

Without communication, you’re in trouble. You absolutely need to learn how to do this. If you cannot speak to one another, it might be too late. Learning the art of communication is something worth caring about. While looking up excellent guides to worrying questions such as ‘is he cheating?’ can often be a helpful tool to assess the signs and symptoms of infidelity, without talking about this topic carefully and being forthright about things, you will never have the answers that you seek. It’s in this way that relationships blossom and continually better themselves as the years pass on.

With this advice, you’re certain to keep your relationship healthy in the best manner possible.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Couples Therapy: Choosing to Live Together

Couples Therapy: Choosing to Live Together


There once was a time when young girls and boys made dreams and plans on whom they were going to marry. However, it seems like times have changed, and 20-somethings aren’t running down the alter as fast as their parents did.

Millennials Saying ‘I Don’t’

Today with the divorce ratio so high, studies show those that the now young adults are choosing to live together instead of making their commitment legal. In fact, these same studies are showing couples maintaining a more loving relationship with higher prospects of longevity.

Commitment Without ‘I Do’


Many couples start out ‘talking’. If they really feel a connection, they become ‘exclusive’. But then what, what’s next? For starters, it seems like the true commitment nowadays starts at the point of exclusivity. Choosing to be in a healthy, monogamous relationship is a start in the right direction. However, older generations might not understand the choice of living out of wedlock. They might even think the way Millennials handle being committed to one another is simply a strong mindset to no longer swipe left or right on a dating app. But let’s be honest, it’s so much more than that…

Choosing Who to be Exclusive With

It’s always been important throughout the ages to choose the right partner in life. But today, I think couples aren’t afraid to wait for the right person. Not many women in today’s world fear being an classified as an ‘old maid’. Thanks to Destiny’s Child, woman celebrate their financial independence. Men also have no shame in waiting. Couples dig deeper, looking to one another in how this relationship makes sense on all-levels, not solely based on the feeling of being head-over-heels in love.

Time for You to Move In

Establishing some boundaries in the beginning of living together is important because as time goes on, in any relationship, married or not, boundaries form as well as breakdown. When you have an idea of what one another expects or needs, it’s not a total shock when you find out how your partner really lives 24/7.

Fighting like Your Married


Just because you didn’t cut a cake together doesn’t mean you won’t have rough times. Relationships are meant to have growing pains. Just because a couple isn’t married, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be self-serving all the time. A relationship is about devotion. Make time for one another, plan dates, divvy up the chores, and give each other safe spaces. These are the things that keep a relationship strong without building resentment. And now I should mention, just because you’re not married doesn’t give you a free pass to cut and run when times get hard. Because guess what, times may get hard. It’s part of life whether you’re single, in a relationship or married. Couples therapy has become very mainstream. Speaking to a counselor, instead of your closest friends could be more beneficial in your relationship.

Marriage Isn’t Off the Table

Just because you choose to not get married today doesn’t mean it never can happen. Plenty of long-term couples start families, and then decide to tie the knot down the line. It is true that it’s easier to ‘Do’ than un-do a marriage. But as long as you and your partner are on the same page about making a vow of commitment without the legal paperwork, building a happy life together, with or without children, is absolutely possible. Remember, fairytales are what you make of them.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Relationship Milestones That You Should Document

Relationship Milestones That You Should Document

When you are in a relationship, there are certain events that are going to be worth documenting. While you know they are a big deal when they happen, some couples don’t take the time to really document these milestones with pictures, or even little notes. But, this is something that you should definitely do so that in those years to come, you can look back and see how far you have traveled from that moment. You might be wondering what some of these milestones are, and we would be happy to share them with you.

 

First Kiss

 

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The first kiss in a relationship is something that you and your partner are going to remember for the rest of your lives. But, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make some sort of commemorative thing anyway. Once you’ve had your first kiss, one thing that you can do is to write each other a little note about how you felt. You can keep this to look back on as the years go by, and as you share many more kisses.

 

The First Time They Say ‘I Love You’

 

It is a big step to tell someone that you love them and that is why a lot of people feel like they need to make sure the time is right. The truth is, there is never really a set time for this, it is just when you feel it and know it’s true. It’s going to be weird if you start trying to take a picture while someone is telling you that they love you, but after they have done this, you can take a quick picture to remember the event. If you want to start keeping a scrapbook of all of these events, that’s a good idea.

 

Moving In Together

 

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Whether you are moving into a place that your partner already lives, or if you are both moving to somewhere completely new, you need to make sure that you have something to remember this. We know that you are going to have this day in your memory for a long time, but a picture of your first home together is always going to be important. You don’t even have to be in the photo if you don’t want to, just a photo of the house/apartment door would do here. We’re not talking anything fancy, just something to remember the first place that you two lived together.

 

Your Engagement

 

The day that your partner proposes to you is likely to be one of the happiest days of your life, but sometimes you get so wrapped up in the moment, that you can forget to document it. If you don’t think you are going to have time, you should get your partner to make sure someone is there to capture the beautiful moment for you.

 

One last piece of advice is to try to make sure that your partner knows what kind of ring you would like before the event, we don’t want you to look at it as something you would rather forget. So, if you like the flashy rings, you could get your partner to take inspiration from celebrity engagement ring trends 2018 has thus far provided.

 

We hope that you find this article helpful and know some of the important milestones that you should be documenting in your relationship.

 

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.