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Self-Care During Divorce

Self-Care During Divorce

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Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most stressful times in a person’s life. The world you knew is crumbling around you, while there are all kinds of legal and financial things that need to be dealt with. Having a good lawyer can help to put your mind at rest, at least where the legal side is concerned. Mediation services like Buncombe mediation can also help to take the stress off.

But what about the emotional side of divorce? While all of the technicalities are getting dealt with, it’s critical to take time for self-care and reflection. Everyone’s divorce situation is unique and each of us handles these challenges differently. If you’re feeling down, stressed or tense due to divorce, spending time to care for yourself will leave you much better off in the long run.

Talking it through

Help make this messy process easier to cope with by understanding some of the mental effects of divorce. It’s totally understandable for you to feel sad, angry, depressed, lost or any other combination of emotions right now. Give yourself time and space to feel what you are feeling. Don’t be tempted to hide your emotions away or suppress them with drink, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Instead, turn to friends, family, or specially trained professionals who can help you to navigate your way through this maze of tangled emotions. It can help to tell friends and family exactly how you’d like to be supported, as these times can be hard for them to navigate, too. Let them know what will help you.

Remember if you feel that the divorce is affecting your mental health, it’s important to speak to a therapist who can help you to cope. There may be support groups you can go to where you can share exactly how you’re feeling with people who are going through the same thing.

Going easy on yourself

You might be finding it hard to concentrate on other things or spending a lot of time going over the situation in your head. You may even be feeling guilty or having negative thoughts about yourself. It’s natural to feel this way when you’re going through emotional challenges, but try to be kind to yourself.

Practicing self-compassion or mindfulness techniques can help you to see things from a different perspective. You could boost your self-confidence by writing a list of all of the things that you like about yourself or any compliments you’ve received that have stuck with you. Gratitude journals can also be a great way of maintaining a positive outlook, as it can help you to see the little things worth celebrating despite the heartache you’re going through.

Exercising

It’s no secret that exercise is great for mental health and overall wellbeing. Your self-esteem and confidence might have taken a dive during this time. It’s natural to want to hide away when you feel stressed or down. But you can boost your endorphins and your self-image by making time for exercise you enjoy. This could be a challenge you set yourself to take your mind off things. Alternatively, you could take up a new sport or activity that you’ve always wanted to try. Having a sense of excitement and accomplishment could give you a little boost when things seem hopeless and remind you there are new things on the horizon.

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How To Get Over A Heartbreak

How To Get Over A Heartbreak

Ending a relationship is not always easy on your emotions, and even a (very) brief summer romance concluding can leave you feeling a little down in the dumps. Getting back to the person you once were can seem like an impossible task, and it’s easy to head straight for the sad songs and terribly unhealthy food to fill the gap. However, it’s possible to move on if you’re willing to put in some effort and face the situation head on.

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Release Your Energy

Especially useful if your breakup didn’t go so smoothly and there’s bad blood and negative emotion, releasing the anger and other pent up feelings from inside through sport or exercise can give you a new lease of life. Kickboxing is a brilliant way to get out any resentment, and doing a long slow yoga session can help you collect your thoughts and feel more peaceful. Any form of exercise you do will cause your body to release endorphins, which are proven to reduce your perception of pain. Even by going on a run around the block, you’ll be helping yourself tenfold compared to wallowing in self pity inside.

Embrace The Solitude

It may seem like the worst aspect of your break up, but the fact that you now have more time on your own opens up the door to many opportunities. Take some time in the beginning to reflect on the experience in your own time, but in a positive manor. Alone time doesn’t have to have an empty feeling, you just have to occupy your time doing beneficial activities. Run yourself a hot bubble bath, slap on a chocolate face mask and dive into a really great book, the more humorous the storyline the better you will feel. Spending time with yourself should allow you to recharge your batteries and get your head straight.

Rid Yourself Of Social Media

The progression in technology has been beneficial for humankind as a whole, but when you’re fresh out of a relationship it’s like a knife in the back. The temptation of scrolling through your ex’s profile page is unbearable, but it always leads to tears when you see how well they’re appearing to be handling it all. However social media is not reality, and everyone online is creating an artificial persona of who they would like to be. Removing yourself from this type of toxic situation will allow you to grow into a more confident and self assured individual, and give you more of an opportunity to use the time on something more positive and productive. If you don’t to go cold turkey, just unfollow or unfriend you ex partner so you no longer have to see their posts.

The most important thing you must focus on after suffering a heartbreak is yourself. You are the center of your own world, and you have to work to make yourself happy. This is harder to remember whilst sitting in front of your divorce attorney, but hold your head high and make it work for you.

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Preparing For The Worst With The Best

Preparing For The Worst With The Best

You hope that the worst case scenario should never happen and of course, for most of us it that will not, but every so often the unexpected can and will happen in life and that’s why being prepared for these unexpected situations is necessary for wherever you are.

You might suddenly find yourself facing a long term illness or in the middle of a situation where you require some professional advice, for example a legal dispute with an employee over employment terms or with a neighbour over land ownership. With any of these situations you want advice from the best and you want to make sure your money is going as far as it can for great results.

That’s why you’ll find everything you need in this guide on how to get the very best in legal advice when you need it most and what to look for when hiring a lawyer, whether that’s for something for work or for when you’re in need of a divorce lawyer. We take a look at what makes the best legal representation for your very individual situation and and some of the pitfalls you’ll need to avoid. Whatever your legal needs are you’ll find the lowdown on hiring right here.

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Who’s on the grapevine as being the best in the business? Once you start looking for someone to represent you, you soon start hearing from everyone, from the local postman to the receptionist at the gym about someone they’ve used or heard about from a friend. Take a note of these names, if one or two keep cropping up then it may be worth getting in touch for an initial consultation.

Ask your friends, family and fellow professionals for some recommendations too, having a personal introduction can help oil the wheels and make the process of appointing someone a whole lot easier.

Read reviews online and find out their success rate, which should be a matter of public record. You’ll also want to make sure that the lawyer is someone who specialises in your particular issue, rather than a general practitioner.

Interview widely

Take your time in in finding the very best in advice and in finding someone you feel can handle your case and all the complexities that go with it. You may need to talk to one or two or even more lawyers before you decide on appointing someone, and depending on the size of your case they may be able to handle it solo or need some help from someone else in their firm. Make sure you know all the details of how this will work before you sign up.

If you’re worried about wasting your time and money on initial consultations that don’t lead anywhere, most lawyers will give you enough time to explain their case, around 15-30 minutes, before they start charging by the hour, so make sure to go in fully prepared with the facts of your case and any questions you might have.

Search online

As mentioned up post if you’re interested in one particular firm, then you should be able to find out a fair amount about them from the public record. You will be able to see the success rate of the individual lawyer and how well they are rated by individual clients.

If the practice has several lawyers, find out which one seems to have more experience in your particular type of case and ask to meet with them first rather than someone you just find yourself assigned to. You need to know that your case will be taken seriously and if you are going to be able to strike up good communication with whoever is taking it on.

Characteristics

You’re going to need someone experienced and yet hungry to make a win. If you feel that your lawyer is too laid back or gives the impression that they’ve seen it all, failing to reassure you then avoid this lawyer.

Similarly, avoid anyone that promises you a big win. Instead find someone who is measured and calm and who you feel can be honest with you about how the case will run and what the chances are of it going the way you want. Find that right mix of determination and level-headedness and you’ll have someone fighting your corner who stands every chance of winning your case for you. If the worst does happen and you do lose, then with the right lawyer you’ll know they tried their best and that the loss wasn’t through lack of trying.

Budget

The one thing we would say is that lawyers don’t come cheap so whether the matter is personal or professional you’ll want to have a very realistic picture of how much this service is going to cost you overall.

A lawyer usually charges clients by the hour though you may find some will offer a flat fee or even be happy to wait until the end of the case and collect a percentage of any damages and their legal fees if paid by the opposition. Make sure you are very clear with your legal representative on how the fee charging process will work and even let them know your top end of the budget.

You may well have room to compromise with something like an upfront payment to start out with and then the rest coming in the form of a successful pay out. This will depend on how confident your lawyer is of the case going in your favour. You might also want to explore the possibility of legal aid and legal loans to cover the ongoing expenses.

The money can very quickly disappear so keep on top of your billing as you move through the consultation to trial proceedings.


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5 Pieces of Advice for a Relationship That’s on the Rocks

5 Pieces of Advice for a Relationship That’s on the Rocks

You have been trudging through life at a snail’s pace recently, especially when it comes to every aspect of your relationship or marriage. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction for you at the moment, but you’re not sure how to rectify it all. Perhaps you’re going through some big marriage problems right now or you have lost your identity in an overbearing relationship. There are many ways that you can get the spring back into your step, without causing yourself too much distress. Consider some of the following pieces of advice and you will soon feel happier, healthier and more independent.

1. Explore Your Options

When you’re extremely unhappy in your marriage you need to think long and hard about your future. If you don’t feel able to continue your life as it is, then you might need to start thinking about making some serious changes. Visit the following website https://www.browndahan.com/what-we-do/divorce/ and see if a divorce lawyer might be able to advise you during this time in your life. It is a life changing decision to make, but most of the time you will feel a huge release once you have go through with the process. Even if you’re not ready to go through with it yet, you will at least be able to figure out if it’s something you need to pursue.

2. Know Your Worth

If your other half keeps on bringing you down then you need to know that you’re so much better than that. You should never accept unsolicited criticism, especially if it is making you feel self-conscious. If your partner has been abusing you verbally then you need to assess what’s best for your own mental health.

3. Seek Professional Advice

There might be parts of the relationship that are salvageable if you want to seek out professional advice from a couple’s therapist. Talking to someone who can act as a mediator will help you both to get back on track with your marriage or long term relationship.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away

It takes a courageous person to be able to walk away from a toxic relationship, because you are suddenly facing the world alone. If someone has been by your side for most of your life it can be very difficult to let them go, even if they aren’t bringing positivity to your life. Be courageous and stand up for yourself whenever necessary; you are bound to feel empowered as soon as you go through with it.

5. Pursue Something That Makes You Happy

If you have been stuck in an unhappy relationship for a while, you might have lost your inner spark. Pursuing something that makes you truly happy might just be the best cure for your problems as your mind will be taken off the rocky goings on in your life right now.

So be brave and make the right decision for you as an individual, instead of fighting for a relationship that is making you unhappy.

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Having A More Amicable Breakup For The Sake Of The Kids

Having A More Amicable Breakup For The Sake Of The Kids

When breaking up with your partner it is never an easy time for one another and especially if there are children involved as it also will have an effect on them too. When going through a break up where Kids are involved then it is always best to go through it amicably to reduce the strain it causes on them and also to make sure they don’t lose any respect for either of you if you were to go about it nastily. Here are some tips to help you get through the break up without affecting the kids too much.

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Stay amicable

Being amicable is about treating each other nicely during the split or at least doing so in front of the children. If you are at each other’s throats all the time the kids will take that in and either bottle up which can affect them mentally or they could even start acting out because of it which would mainly be at school, therefore, having an adverse effect on their school life too. If you are not able to talk things over amicably then it may be best to do it with a mediator or counselor to make sure you get somewhere with your talks.

Get things legalized

When going through a break up involving children it is always best to have any time with the children legalized. This means that you have the children on your set days and this can not be prevented unless done through the courts, this also stops the children from being used as a weapon in a rocky separation as it is in writing when you can have the children, what days and for how long for. This is done as part of the separation/divorce procedure with the assistance of child support who will help you come to the best arrangments with each other on who has who when.

Be fair

When you are deciding on the legal side of things and what you want to get out of the split then make sure you are fair to each other as much as possible as if you were to take too much from one another then this can have implications on having the children and keeping them. If they are not able to look after them because you have taken more off your partner than is fair then that creates more bitterness during the separation and can lead to them making it harder. If you are fair in the legal battle or with splitting who gets what including the children then it will be better for the children in the long run as they will see both parents and have a good upbringing no matter who they are with.

A breakup is awful for both parties but especially the children, this will have an effect on them not only short term but long term too. If you are kind and fair throughout the whole ordeal then they will come out of it stronger and it will be more beneficial for all parties involved. With these tips, you will be able to get through the breakup with as little damage to your children as possible.


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Should You Stay, Or Should You Go?

By, Tia Cristy

Should You Stay, Or Should You Go?

Sadly, divorce has become a way of life for 50% of the married population today. It’s not something folks set out to do when they first exchange their wedding vows, but time can be cruel to relationships. Nevertheless, on the upside, time also has the power to heal all wounds.

Marriage has lost its shine

Just like anything in this world, if you don’t care for it, it will lose its luster. Take a silver tray for example. At first, it’s beautiful. Perfect. But after use, it can get dull and dirty. You have to clean it and polish it. It takes a bunch of effort to keep it shiny. As time marches on, even with the shine it has noticeable wear. You might not realize it at the time, but that’s part of its charm. However, you see it as aged. It’s no longer perfection. So, you put it in a cupboard. You know it’s still there, but you don’t use it. Next time you see it, it’s completely tarnished. It looks hopeless. Here’s the thing, it’s not ruined. With a little extra elbow grease, you can polish it back to gleaming. The point of this analogy… Some marriages just need a bit of elbow grease.

When’s enough, enough?

When is enough, enough? Some couples have an easy answer for that… never. But ‘never’ isn’t the choice for everyone. So when is it time to leave a marriage? Honestly, I think only couples can figure that out on their own, especially when there are kids and assets to consider. The best advice I can give on contemplating divorce is if you tried everything to make it work and it still doesn’t… Ask yourself this before making that huge decision, ‘Did I do everything I could to try and make this marriage work?’ and then answer this, ‘If I choose to walk away from this marriage, can I leave without regretting my choice?’ Some situations are much trickier when it comes to domestic violence. If that is the case, remember, there are people out there that can help.

When it’s over

Just like a death, divorce has its own period of mourning. This is common. It’s true, there are many scary roads ahead. But if the high divorce rate has taught us anything, it taught us, this too shall pass. And yes, time certainly does have a way of healing. People of divorce find they have a quicker healing process when they leave behind bitterness. It may be hard to forget the bad times, but it’s best to forgive, if only for the sole purpose of healing. Here’s a coping with divorce guide that will help you each step along the way to starting over.

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The Two Keys to Settling Family Disputes

The Two Keys to Settling Family Disputes

Even the most tight-knit of families fight from time to time. So, if yours does, then fear not. It’s not because you don’t love each other. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have to fall out forever. There are ways to settle even the most heated of family disputes, two of them can be found below.

 

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Put being happy before being right

 

By putting the happiness of both your family and yourself before a need to be right all the time, you will go a long way to not having to call a divorce attorney. This is because of the fact that most arguments between spouses don’t cease because either — or both — of them won’t give in until they are seen as the ones in the right. Neither will stop until the other admits they’re right. Neither will stop until they get the last word. But, when you really think about it — isn’t it this all a bit childish? Isn’t that something we’d expect our children to do, rather than ourselves? However, no matter how childish you may have realised it to be when looking in at it from the outside, when you are in the inside of it it doesn’t seem to be childish at all. It seems like the right thing to do. But trying to be right isn’t the right thing to do. Trying to be happy is. So, the next time you feel that unexplainable need to be right. Try to replace it with a need to be happy instead. And always remember that divorce is never your only option.

 

 

Tackle problems, not people

 

Yes, a dispute may have arisen in your family because somebody has done something terrible. But, before you starting coming down like a sack of potatoes on that particular person, try tackling the problem first. Let’s take the idea of your child getting his or herself in trouble with the police for a minor incident as an example. Yes, you are livid. Yes, it’s a good idea to make sure they know they have done wrong. But it is NOT a good idea to continue berating them until it causes a dispute. You should instead focus your efforts on to the problem itself and tackle that. It could mean you uncover that your child has been hanging around with the wrong crowd. You could uncover that your child had been influenced by them, or maybe had even been under the influence of alcohol. You could find out any number of bad things. But isn’t it better to know of these things, rather than to not know of them? By focusing your efforts on the problem you can uncover the truth about it far quicker. That then means the dispute is cleared up far quicker also.

 

 

For more resolutions for the plight of life that is family disputes, make sure to click here. And make sure to remember that, although there is an I in family, you can’t act for your own intentions. It’s healthy to focus on yourself regularly, but for the majority of the time you have to think about your family. So, let’s just pretend there is no I in family.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram