Tag Archives: divorce and your health

Divorced? Here’s What You Need To Do Now

Divorced? Here’s What You Need To Do Now

Making the decision to get a divorce is never an easy one, particularly if there are children involved. You might have been trying to make it work for months or even years but to no avail. If both you and your partner are severely unhappy in your marriage, a divorce can be the best solution for everyone. But once you’ve come to an agreement, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Even though it’s the right thing to do, it can still be an emotional and overwhelming experience. So if you’ve just decided to get divorced and are unsure what to do now, follow these simple steps.

brothers-457234_960_720Image via Pixabay

Talk about child custody

This is likely to be the most difficult conversation you will ever have. But it’s also the most important. You and your partner need to decide how you intend to continue providing care, time and support for your children. Consider how you can equally spend time with them, particularly over holidays, birthdays and weekends. Be realistic and always focus on your kid’s best interests.

In addition to this, you should also discuss how you want to break the news of your divorce to your children. Talking about this beforehand gives you time to prepare for their reactions. If you find it difficult to come to an agreement, get in touch with Gillespie, Shields, Durrant & Goldfarb or another family law firm.

Check your finances

Running a house will be different now you only have one source of income. You might have to survive on less and stretch your money further each week. The cost of getting a divorce can also be notoriously expensive. So one of the most important things you need to do is check your finances. Visit your bank and talk to your financial advisor about your current situation. They may be able to suggest ways in which you can save more money each month. This is also the perfect opportunity for you to set up a new bank account. If you think you might struggle, you should also start looking for additional employment. Download LinkedIn and other free job search apps to get started.

rock-island-123406_960_720Image via Pixabay

Decide where you will live

Another vital discussion you need to have with your partner is where you will both live. One of you might want to stay in the same property whereas the other might want to move out. Or perhaps both of you want to move out and sell your old home. Remember to consider your kids before making a final decision. If you do decide to sell, work out a fair way to divide the money equally. This is an agreement you should have witnessed by an attorney, as your property is likely to be the most expensive asset you have. This will ensure that when it is sold, no foul play will occur.

By following these simple steps, you increase your chances of having a more honest and amicable divorce. This can benefit not only you but your children as well. If you’re still finding it difficult to come to terms with your divorce, talk to a divorce counselor or your doctor.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
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Emotional Devastation: Understanding the Mental Effects of Divorce

Emotional Devastation: Understanding the Mental Effects of Divorce

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I’m going to go ahead and guess that no-one reading this article believes divorce is easy. But when we consider the precise emotional impacts of divorce, it can look even scarier than you thought. Here are the common emotional effects, along with some tips for dealing with them.

Depression

It’s fair to say that this one will come as no surprise to most people reading this article. A divorce, essentially, signals the death of a loving relationship. And such a thing can often induce deep feelings of grief. Some may feel that the word “grief” carries with it a sense of overstatement. But anyone who has seen the end of a meaningful relationship will likely understand what I’m saying. Feelings of unworthiness, sadness, and difficulty concentrating are common during a divorce. Do not underestimate depression, even if it’s only short-term. Consider speaking to a professional.

depression-1252577_960_720Pixabay

Guilt

A sense of failure often comes with a divorce. It’s much stronger than the kind of guilt people tend to feel at the end up an unmarried relationship. This is because marriage is made out to be this monolithic thing that people have to work hard to maintain the health of. This is true to an extent, but only because society and the law make it out to be so. The end of a marriage shouldn’t be approached with any more guilt than the end of a regular relationship.

Anger

Anger can often occur if there are disputes at the heart of a divorce. This can be a dispute over assets, as it so often is. It could be a dispute over the custody of children. Much of the time, resolving these disputes require a calm head and rational thinking.

Angry twenty something couple yelling at each other
Angry twenty something couple yelling at each other

Flickr

It’s unlikely that this is something that either party will be capable of! That’s why it’s so vital to have a family lawyer involved to try to figure things out. (That and the fact that there’s a lot of legal complexity here!) Family lawyers like Manassa, Stassen & Vaclavek, P.C. are vital to this process. Ultimately, this can help reduce anger by aiding with reasonable solutions.

Fear

What will the future hold? What sort of relationship are the two of you going to have from here on out? Will you ever see the much-liked family of your ex-partner again? What will life with the kids be like now? How are our mutual friends going to react and conduct themselves going forward? There’s a lot of uncertainty in the future when a divorce occurs. This, of course, can trigger a lot of fear. Try looking into ways of dealing with this uncertainty. 5348057660_5210940458_b

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Stress

All of the above are going to contribute to feelings of stress. This can often reach levels of intensity such as you have never before experienced. You may already know that stress is an extremely unhealthy part of your life. But people usually think about long-term stress when they think about such health effects. It’s important to understand that intense short-term stress can also present several health dangers. Do your best to tackle it. Reducing stress can help you deal with the above emotions. Remember that these emotions tend to exacerbate themselves. It can be a vicious circle, but it might be one you can break.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.