Tag Archives: Caitlin E.

How to Deal With Engagement Call Off in The Least Torturous Way Possible

How to Deal With Engagement Call Off in The Least Torturous Way Possible

By Caitlin E.

Woman is taking off the wedding ring

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Breaking up is always difficult, regardless of the circumstances, but calling off an engagement is a whole new level of heart crushing. To enter such a “deal” with someone, in the first place, it takes being committed to someone to the point of wanting to grow old together. What makes it even more heart wrenching is that this relationship usually includes friends, family, finances, and logging.

Calling off an engagement that could lead to a bad marriage is kinder than building a bad marriage. It is possible, but how to go through such a turmoil in the least torturous way possible?

Saying the words

‘We need to talk’ is probably the most horrifying sentence to say and to hear, but sometimes it has to be said. Beating around the bush is the worst thing you can do. Instead, face the problem head-on. Say what it is that you want and why you want it. Include your fiancé[e] in the conversation. Talk with respect and kindness. Again, if you are not the one saying the words, have understanding for your partner’s reasons and try to bear it calmly.

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Dealing with the emotional aftermath

The breakup is a serious trauma and all persons involved need to have time to grieve and heal. It is best to give each other space and resist the temptation to enter the endless “why” discussions and to be a part of each other’s lives, no matter the cost. This doesn’t mean that, later on, you won’t be able to have normal conversations or even be friends, but, for now, you need time to mend your wounds.

Solving the financial and living situation

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If you and your former partner have lived together and shared expenses, you probably have more ties beyond the emotional ones. If you are still living together, until one of you finds a new place, make agreements about respectful cohabitation, and search for a new place as soon as possible. Paying the rent and bills should be divided equally, even if you are not talking to each other, this is something you need to resolve.

Whose is the engagement ring?

Engagement rings are usually considered gifts contingent on a wedding ceremony taking place. This means that the bride should return the ring. Still, if the ring was offered as a gift for a special occasion (e.g., birthday), it is hers to keep.

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State laws vary when it comes to the question who gets the ring. Some states consider the ring a gift, while others have special terms in regards who breaks the engagement.

If there is a disagreement over the ring you can seek legal counsel, but it is always better to talk things through.

Announcing the breakup

People you work with, your family, and friends will want to know the engagement is called off. Since you don’t want to be the topic of gossip and conversation, it is best to tell them yourself. There is no easy way to do this, but it is the least painful for you and your former fiancé[e] divide the list of guests. To avoid going through this too many times, make announcements to groups of friends and family. Do not play the “blame game”, say it is over in the most respectful way and that it is not open for discussion.

Making formal cancelations

The clergy member or wedding officiate needs to know the wedding is canceled so he or she can take the date off the busy schedule. Keep in mind that some clergy members can recommend at least one counseling session. You will also need to contact all the vendors you have hired to provide services during the ceremony or the reception. You probably won’t get your deposit back and, in some cases, you will be liable for part of the payment.

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Regardless of the reason of calling off the engagement, both of you should always keep in mind, and constantly repeat to yourselves if necessary, that the person you are leaving behind is the same person you once loved so much that you wanted to make an unbreakable vow to love and to hold for the rest of your lives.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Online Dating and Sexual Health: What You Need to Know

By Guest Blogger, Caitlin E.

Online Dating and Sexual Health: What You Need to Know

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Millions of people use online dating websites and apps to meet new people and engage in different levels of intimacy – from just chatting to casual sex to romantic relationships. With the rising popularity of various platforms such as Match.com, EHarmony, Tinder, and numerous others, the stigma that once existed around online dating has been greatly diminished. Even statistics show that the majority of Americans claim online dating is a good way to meet people.

But it’s still a relatively new landscape, where it’s crucial that we’re all well-informed and understanding of how we can navigate it responsibly. Here’s what you need to keep in mind regarding sexual health when meeting new people on dating platforms.

 

Sexual health is about psychological well-being too

 

The concept of sexual health is often mistaken for only the physical aspect of health in regards to sexuality, such as the absence of an STI.

But the World Health Organization reminds us that sexual health goes much further than that, implying psychological wellbeing, freedom of choice, and the ability to have a satisfying and responsible sex life.

In the online dating culture, you have all the freedom you need to engage with whomever you want and however you want. And when you have this kind of freedom, it’s especially important to listen to your gut instinct and to be cautious when meeting new people online.

It’s easy to get caught up in all of it, which makes it even more important that you fully acknowledge what you want and what you don’t want – regardless of how the person you’ve met will react. Listen to your innate needs, take care of yourself, and don’t let yourself feel pressured at any point.

Online dating is there to make things easier and more enjoyable for you, not to become a burden on your well-being.

 

Always use protection. Always.

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A lot of people are hooking up through dating platforms, as the medium makes meeting new people much faster and more convenient. The math is quite simple – the more casual sex there is, the more STIs are likely to be circulating.

This is nothing new, as STIs are more widespread than you might expect. There’s just too much stigma around them so you can be sure that nobody is going to explicitly tell you they have an infection when they meet you.

Not only that, but your partner may have no idea he or she has an STI.

The only way to stay safe from STIs and maintain your sexual health responsibly is by using condoms – every time, no matter what.

This is especially important to take note of among the older demographic, where there’s still a common misconception that there’s no need for condoms if you can no longer have children. Regardless of fertility or other forms of contraception you might be using, condoms serve to protect you from STIs, and both sides of the relationship should have them around.

 

Maintain your good judgement

 

A lot of people rely on drugs or alcohol to ease into the situation and “loosen up” when meeting someone new. Again, you have the freedom to do whatever you wish – just make sure that you own it, that you have the confidence and your best interests in mind.

Overdoing it with either of those two will definitely cloud your judgement – and that’s where it will be difficult for you to keep your best interests in mind. Whether it’s engaging with someone you don’t actually feel that comfortable with or forgetting to use a condom during sex, clouded judgement increases the chances of turning an otherwise pleasant experience into a sour one.

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The rising popularity of online dating is no coincidence. People feel comfortable with these platforms, and they present a convenient and exciting way to meet potential partners and like-minded people. But as more and more people use online dating apps, there’s a whole new dialogue opening up around sexual health and safety. Whether you’re entirely new to online dating or have an established profile, keep these points in mind to make sure that you navigate the landscape to your best interest.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.