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Breaking up is hard to do, or so Neil Sedaka would have us believe. Any relationship that ends, whether amicably or in a shouty mess is traumatic for everyone involved. You may have been devoted to the same person for years, only to witness the foundations of your bond crumbling. Trying to maintain an amicable end to a relationship is ridiculously hard, even for the most friendly of exes. Breaking up is intense, emotional and bittersweet. Although this may be a mutual decision, there will always be one person in the relationship who initiated the ‘break up’ thought. If this wasn’t you, it could be even tougher to go your separate ways.
Often we are caught in a state of flux with our relationship becoming more volatile alongside periods of breaking up and then making up. While the making up can be a lot of fun, the roller coaster motion of the relationship can be emotionally draining and is unsustainable. Something’s got to give. Take a look at these signs that may show you that your relationship is ending.
- Things Are Stagnant
Often when we are the throes of young love or feel the initial flames of a burning passion, relationships can progress quite naturally. You may begin dating before spending more and more time together. You might introduce one another to family and friends. You move in together, and then, that’s it. For many couples, this suffices, and they build upon the foundation of their relationship with shared experiences and become closer. However, for other people, they hanker after marriage and children. Unless spoken about early on in a relationship, one party could be in for a rude awakening when they realize that their partner is not interested in a piece of paper or becoming a parent.
The feeling of being stagnant and going nowhere in a relationship can be crushing. You may have been tactile initially and enjoyed one another’s company. If nowadays you spend your evenings sat on separate sofas glued to a smartphone or tablet screen with barely an utterance between you, it may be time to reassess your relationship. If you want different things from your partner, you need to end the relationship sooner rather than later. The fear of being single shouldn’t keep you tied to an unfulfilling relationship.
- Their Cute Habits Are Not Anything But
Remember when you first met your partner and they had the sweetest sniffly sort of giggle? Now that noise that emanates from their face every time they find something funny is driving you crazy. Or do you remember when your partner used to leave you sweet love notes in the oddest of places for you to find around your home? Now all you do is wince at the amount of paper litter dotted around your humble abode. If those traits that your partner has no longer give you the warm butterfly feelings that they once did, you may be outgrowing the relationship.
If you have been with your partner for a long time or you have even walked down the aisle and said ‘I do,’ it can be hard to make the break. However, firms like USAttorneys are on hand to give you impartial advice on the legalities of divorce, home ownership and assets. While the emotional side of breaking up can be testing, the practical and financial aspect cannot be overlooked.
- You Seek Time Apart
Often the first sign that we no longer want to be in a relationship is our newfound ability to find any excuse not to spend time with our partner. We may head out for dinner with friends a little more often, decline the offer of dates a little more or choose to spend a night in alone with a good movie and a tub of ice cream rather than spending it with your supposed loved one. If nearly all other eventualities are more appealing than spending time with your partner, don’t fall into the trap of ghosting. This is unpleasant and unkind. Sit down with your boyfriend or girlfriend and make the break. This is easier to do if you haven’t made any sort of long-term commitment such as buying a house together or marriage. In any case, you need to talk. Unless they are in complete denial, they will know that something is awry and possibly has been for some time. Your partner may simply be waiting for you to signal the break to allow you both to carry on with your lives.
- One Of You Is More Into The Other
While you may not be a commitment-phobe, the fact that your partner professed their undying love for you a fortnight after you first met may be enough for you to call a halt to the whole thing. At the same time, if you are the one who has been struck by Cupid’s arrow early on, it can be difficult to hold down your true feelings. You don’t want to appear clingy or needy when you have only been on a couple of dates. If it’s impossible to slow the relationship train down, one of you will become more emotionally invested than the other which can lead to a traumatic breakup. When someone feels suffocated in a relationship, that relationship will not end up being a long one.
Sit down with your partner, talk about your feelings and make an effort to take things slowly. If the next day you find a dozen roses at your door or find that your partner has lined up some apartments for you to view to potentially move in together, it’s time to break up.
Relationships, especially those that you thought would last forever, can be difficult to end when you have to wave goodbye to a future that you thought you had planned out. However, it’s better and healthier for all involved to make a clean break rather than make do and wallow in an unhappy relationship. For your own sanity and health, be single for a while, date when you want and enjoy getting to know yourself again.
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