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3 Ways To Handle Divorce In The Right Way

3 Ways To Handle Divorce In The Right Way

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No one ever expects a divorce to happen, but the reality of life is that they often do occur. They can be very hard or easy affairs depending upon your situation but they are often difficult so don’t have your hopes up for an easy ride with it. People usually get on the bad side of divorce, and whilst there isn’t a good one, there are some things you can do to make it as painless as possible.

Give Yourself Time To Decompress

This is a very important part of a divorce, and so too it is for any other big, arguably traumatic event. Decompression is the time it takes for you to fully realize everything that is going on, to explore your feelings and know where you stand with everyone who is involved, as well as yourself. It’s very important that you allow yourself time to do this because it lets you get out, and then figure out, all of the negative emotions that will be hiding away. If it’s a particularly troubled divorce then you may find yourself wanting a divorce therapist that can you can visit and talk to in order to make you feel okay again.

Make Sure You’re Legally Covered

If you have anything that is in both you and your partner’s names you need to be legally covered. When a divorce occurs, the right for who get’s what is the game that is played, so you need to have a good legal plan for when the court cases come around. This can be for children if you have them and for all of the items that belong to you both, which makes getting a divorce quite a difficult process. You could get items or child custody wrongly taken off you, so to avoid this you have to be legally covered.

Ensure Everyone Knows What Is Going On

It can be easy to shut yourself away and not tell anyone you know about what is going on, but the truth is that a problem shared is a problem halved so it’s good to tell people what is going on. Not only will it make it easier for you, people need to know what is going on in your life in order to keep up with you and help you if needs be. Any children you have will need to know too as it will affect them the most. Be realistic with them but also not harsh as to not upset them too much. You cannot avoid your kids being upset when this happens, but if they are well informed and looked after properly then the blow dealt will be much less painful.

It is advisable that you do all of these things if you are going through a divorce. They are difficult times and are never, ever easy so expect the worse with them and you’ll be surprised when it doesn’t come to it! Deciding whether or not you need a divorce can be a difficult thing as it’s a very intricate and intimate situation, so read this if you think you’re coming to a crossroads within your relationship.

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I Want To Break Up: Five Soul Destroying Words 

I Want To Break Up: Five Soul Destroying Words

The person that you love the most in this world has just uttered five of the most soul-destroying words that you will ever here: ‘I want to break up’. Maybe you knew this was coming; perhaps things haven’t been right for a while now? Or maybe you have had no idea that your partner was unhappy and are in complete and utter shock? Either way, hearing those five little words is never easy, especially when you have put your heart and soul into your relationship, only to have it crumble around you.

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Knowing what to do when the love of your life tells you that it’s over is difficult. Whether you were expecting it or not, it doesn’t make dealing with a breakup any easier. A lot of women struggle to know what to do and what steps to take when their partner wants to break up. Although it’s going to be hard no matter what you do, you need to get to grips with what is happening and start putting yourself and your children (if you have any) first.

To get through your breakup and get your life back on track, here’s what you need to do:

Talk to your ex-partner

The first step in any break up is talking to your ex-partner. Whether that is face to face or over the phone, it doesn’t matter. What you need to do is talk things through, this will allow you both to get some closure and will help to make organizing your separate lives easier. If you have children or pets that you share custody of, this is even more important. Try to discuss the important things like who will live where, when will the children see each parent, and things like that. If you can settle these things amicably, it will make the divorce process easier for everyone.

Find a lawyer

Regardless of whether you want to make your divorce an amicable one, it’s a good idea to have a lawyer on hand. As that way, you have someone to explain each part of the divorce process to you, and also have someone to discuss any concerns that you have with, such as the custody arrangements for the kids. Your best bet is to hire a divorce specialist to help with your case so that you know you are in the best hands. If money is tight, you may be able to get appointed a free lawyer, depending on your financial circumstances, that is.

Spend time with your nearest and dearest

Marital breakups are hard, which is why spending more time with your nearest and dearest is so important. You might think that you are coping with the break up on your own, but it’s always good to have a support system in place to lean on. Just in case you find yourself struggling a little bit with everything that’s going on.

Breaking up is never easy, especially when you are married to your partner. However, what it’s important to understand is that sometimes it’s for the best. It might be hard at first, but in time you will most probably be happier and more content for it, it just takes time to adjust, that’s all.

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Divorce Isn’t Your Only Option!

Divorce Isn’t Your Only Option!

When your relationship hits a bump in the road, it’s easy to think that there is no moving forward. And you might believe that there is no other option than calling a divorce lawyer. But it might not be the end of the relationship. In fact, there are ways you might be able to work through your issues and come out stronger the other side. Therefore, here are some other options you should consider first before going down the divorce route.

Talk about your problems

A lot of couples close up when they are having troubles in their relationship. Rather than talking to each other about their concerns, they tend to bottle it up and push each other away. But if you don’t talk to each other, it won’t allow you to move on from your problems. And the emotions you are feeling will build up, and you will grow to hate your partner. Therefore, if you want to work on the relationship, it’s time to open up to one another. Clear the house so that it’s just you and your partner. And then sit down next to each other and allow each other to talk about how you feel. Once you have everything out in the open, you can hopefully concentrate on the present and move on with the relationship.

Have a trial separation

Rather than rushing to a divorce lawyer, the first thing you and your partner should do is have a trial separation. After all, a lot of couples find that a separation does them both the world of good. In fact, it can show them both how much they love the other person. And as well as this, a separation of at least 12 months is often needed before any lawyer like Gillard Family Lawyers can start the divorce proceedings. Therefore, give each other some space to work through your issues. You or your partner might want to leave the family home for a period to ensure you live separate lives. Or you might want to stay under the same roof, but live as if you were both unmarried. Having some time apart can help you to see clearly what the next step is for your relationship!

Look into relationship counseling

Some problems between you and your partner require some outside help. After all, you might find that you just argue about the issue if you sit down just the two of you. But this is not helping you to address the problem and potentially move on. Therefore, if you want to save the relationship, you should consider attending relationship counseling. It’s a great way to express what you want to say in a safe environment. And the counselor will work with you both to ensure you both get a chance to have your say. For some people, counseling can often help them to move forward with their relationship. Or it can show them that the relationship can not be salvaged and that you should both move on!

And sometimes it’s worth going back to resolve current problems. Reminiscing about how you met and going on your first date can help you start over with your other half. Therefore, don’t be afraid to spend some time in the past to move forward!

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Emotional Devastation: Understanding the Mental Effects of Divorce

Emotional Devastation: Understanding the Mental Effects of Divorce

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I’m going to go ahead and guess that no-one reading this article believes divorce is easy. But when we consider the precise emotional impacts of divorce, it can look even scarier than you thought. Here are the common emotional effects, along with some tips for dealing with them.

Depression

It’s fair to say that this one will come as no surprise to most people reading this article. A divorce, essentially, signals the death of a loving relationship. And such a thing can often induce deep feelings of grief. Some may feel that the word “grief” carries with it a sense of overstatement. But anyone who has seen the end of a meaningful relationship will likely understand what I’m saying. Feelings of unworthiness, sadness, and difficulty concentrating are common during a divorce. Do not underestimate depression, even if it’s only short-term. Consider speaking to a professional.

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Guilt

A sense of failure often comes with a divorce. It’s much stronger than the kind of guilt people tend to feel at the end up an unmarried relationship. This is because marriage is made out to be this monolithic thing that people have to work hard to maintain the health of. This is true to an extent, but only because society and the law make it out to be so. The end of a marriage shouldn’t be approached with any more guilt than the end of a regular relationship.

Anger

Anger can often occur if there are disputes at the heart of a divorce. This can be a dispute over assets, as it so often is. It could be a dispute over the custody of children. Much of the time, resolving these disputes require a calm head and rational thinking.

Angry twenty something couple yelling at each other
Angry twenty something couple yelling at each other

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It’s unlikely that this is something that either party will be capable of! That’s why it’s so vital to have a family lawyer involved to try to figure things out. (That and the fact that there’s a lot of legal complexity here!) Family lawyers like Manassa, Stassen & Vaclavek, P.C. are vital to this process. Ultimately, this can help reduce anger by aiding with reasonable solutions.

Fear

What will the future hold? What sort of relationship are the two of you going to have from here on out? Will you ever see the much-liked family of your ex-partner again? What will life with the kids be like now? How are our mutual friends going to react and conduct themselves going forward? There’s a lot of uncertainty in the future when a divorce occurs. This, of course, can trigger a lot of fear. Try looking into ways of dealing with this uncertainty. 5348057660_5210940458_b

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Stress

All of the above are going to contribute to feelings of stress. This can often reach levels of intensity such as you have never before experienced. You may already know that stress is an extremely unhealthy part of your life. But people usually think about long-term stress when they think about such health effects. It’s important to understand that intense short-term stress can also present several health dangers. Do your best to tackle it. Reducing stress can help you deal with the above emotions. Remember that these emotions tend to exacerbate themselves. It can be a vicious circle, but it might be one you can break.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.