Loved-Up Couples Share Their Marriage Secrets
Marriage is something that requires “work” according to commentators. But what does a successful marriage look like from the people who have actually done it and make it work? What is it that they do to make it a success? How do they keep the flame alive?
It turns out that there are no big secrets. In fact, it’s all the common sense stuff you might expect. Here’s what to do.
They Spend Time Together
Family life can get pretty hectic, pretty fast. If you’re working from six in the morning until seven at night and then have to do things like make the dinner or take the kids to after school clubs, the idea of actually being able to spend time with your spouse seems far fetched. Even the weekends are taken up with activities that have nothing to do with enjoying your relationship with your partner. A trip to the hardware store to pick up a new shower rail is hardly most people’s idea of romance.
Successful couples, like Christians Dennis ad Antoinette Erasmus of the Apostolic Faith Mission, say that the secret to their success is having “us” time. Every week they get out their calendars and jot down in their diaries when they expect to be free. They book a babysitter and do whatever they can to make sure that once per week they have some time to explore their relationship. They’ll do whatever activity they feel like doing, like going for a walk in the woods or finding a new restaurant.
They See The Good In Their Spouse
Here’s another problem that people who have been married for a while will encounter: always seeing the bad in their spouse and not focusing on the good. With the cost of a divorce being so high, it’s worth focusing on the positives. Everybody has weaknesses, and there’s no such thing as the perfect person and so living with imperfections is a necessary part of life. Concentrating on the good qualities in the other person means that you avoid ruminating and wondering whether you’d be better off with somebody else.
They Don’t Bad Mouth Each Other
The reason bad-mouthing your spouse isn’t a good idea is because of two things. First, mouthing off to other people about the person who you chose to spend your life with makes you look crazy. After all, nobody forced you to get married. But the bigger problem is that is it is a sign that you haven’t been able to resolve an issue in the marriage itself. This can lead to a loss of trust and respect – something that is crucial if you want your marriage to be a success. Suffice to say, it’s better to confront your spouse if there’s a problem rather than getting into the habit of venting to your friends.
They Accept The Need For Sacrifice
As with all things in life, there are costs and benefits. Being married has its ups, but it also has its downs. Sometimes you’ll have to give up things you like to make it work.
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