Tag Archives: Relationships

Bring back Old-school Dating

by Cy B.

Bring back Old-school Dating

Since it seems to be all the topic on most social media platforms, I have been asked to reflect upon the topic of dating. The Do’s and Don’ts of today. For those not necessarily understanding today’s dating techniques it is a tough platform to tackle.

Over the years so much has changed and now deemed as ‘acceptable’ nature or so-called behavior. What was once known as dating has now become almost a mythical word that has lost meaning, just as ‘courting’ had in the 70’s. Nowadays, it’s almost as if social media decides your fate.

What happened to sending flowers to an address that doesn’t start with www.. or when phone conversations ended because one person fell asleep talking and you stayed on the line just to listen to them breath, because for that moment it was enough? What happened to working disagreements out and fixing problems? Not just acting like, hey I’ll just ignore this and let it build–not say anything and allow it to eventually explode? When did it become acceptable, bouncing from person to person and just leaving people in pieces because communication and motives were never clear, only expectations?

Y’all, love hurts.

I agree, yet expectations hurt even more when led by blinded by love. One of the worst feelings in life is falling in love alone. Both sexes mastered this little game it seems. Because dating has detoured so much, it’s like motives have selfishly changed nowadays. What was once a considered a rebound is, sadly, very popular now and is almost accepted as a relationship status. ‘First base’ and ‘second base’, once took time to access, is now almost expected on a first date by many, when before couples had butterflies even thinking about advancing. It’s so much more when someone can undress your mind.

Here’s a tip, gentlemen undress a womans mind and the body will follow. When advancing too quickly, you cannot touch the passion entrapped within a womans mind. Dont ask her about her imagination, become her imagination. If you feel the need to ask her something, ask her about her passions, her fears, her hopes and dreams. Ask her what she wants in life and what makes her laugh and cry. Take time to discover her favorite color and ask why. Listen to the stories that make her, her.

Those stories created the art that is her. Listen, and in front of your very own eyes, she will allow you the view the creativity through the events and happenings that has helped shape this beautiful woman. You can then see past the visible beauty, and witness her depth, pain, pleasure, vulnerability and the love in which she possesses in her beautiful soul. This my friend is a gift. A gift that you can give each other without a price tag.

Take it back to the days when snap chat and Instagram weren’t dating sites and cheating portals… When ten likes didnt change your mind about a person… When advertising to your following what you want isn’t even close to what you actually desire. Take it back to when catfishing meant there was going to be a good dinner.

All this back and forth mental-game playing, and men this… and women that… blah… blah… blah… We all need to step back and think. We have all been that broken heart, and we all have exes and problems. But remember folks, before social media was in relationships, communication between two people existed. Studies have shone, relationships worked out alot longer just a short decade ago. I’m not bashing social media. Guys and Gals remember, social media doesn’t ruin relationships, acting single or disrespectful towards your partner on social media in public/private chat rooms, does!

If you are searching for a lady, then be a gentleman. Ladies, if you want a gentleman, then simply be a lady. Chivalry is not dead, it’s just waiting to be, as they say today, digitally remastered by those who value its lost meaning.

We add all these new words to the dictionary every year that make no sense. Yet these don’t change… Love, commitment, honesty, trust, chivalry, dating, communication, integrity, humanity, respect, dedication, desire, passion, and the most evil one of all, lust. One must remember, in life, the most beautiful things are seen with the eyes closed. With eyes closed, you are led by trust. With eyes open, you’re often blinded by lust. Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do. Be open about what you want from the beginning. When it’s out on the table then it’s so much easier to understand–no guessing games, no one being led on, and no surprises.

Like the most famous misquote of Eldridge Cleaver, ‘If you’re not the solution, you are part of the problem.’ It’s simple, bring back LOVE.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

The Importance Of Finding Chill Time In Your Relationship

The Importance Of Finding Chill Time In Your Relationship

The longer a relationship goes on, the more you learn about what it’s like to be part of your partner’s daily life and to have them be part of yours. They are no longer separate from the joy, sadness, and hustle you deal with from day-to-day, they are incorporated in all of it. Not only do you feel the burden of the obstacles ahead of you and your everyday stresses, but your relationship does, too.

That’s why it’s important to not only be able to recognize stress in both yourself and your relationship, but to learn how to take a step back from it all together, instead of taking a step back from it all alone. Here are a few tips on how to do that.

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Recognize the stress symptoms

If you’re both people of a similar level of motivation, you both have careers, school, or other responsibilities to take care of, it can be hard to recognize when your average, everyday stress becomes something negative with the potential to take its toll on your relationship. You have to grow aware of the symptoms of stress in your partner and your relationship. Are they irritable, less inclined to communicate with you, sullen, or otherwise off? There are some differences in how men and women handle stress as well. Though this won’t apply to 100% of cases, men tend to be more prone to trying to find solutions and doing more stuff when they’re stressed, while women tend to grow more inward facing and seek peace and comfort when stressed instead.

Stop your stress before it affects the relationship

It can be just as hard to recognize when your own stress is going to manifest in all the ugly ways that it can. You might be more prone to nitpicking your partner, starting fights over nothing, overreactions, or simply becoming withdrawn and cold. It can take a while before you realize that this behavior isn’t what you want, it’s the product of stress. Learning mindfulness techniques can help you start to recognize the warning signs of your own stress and help you also recognize how you react to it. When you’re more aware of it, it’s easier to recognize that it’s happening and stop it in progress.

How do you stop stress from taking hold when you recognize it in yourself, your partner, or your relationship? By finding ways to relax together, of course.

See how you spend your time

First of all, it’s important to find the time to chill out as a couple. When you integrate your partner into your daily life more and more, you can slip into a schedule that lets you both handle the business you need to handle without having to spend quite as much time together. But if you’re feeling stressed, there’s nothing better than scaling back your responsibilities to ensure that you have time to spend with them, so find ways to free time for the both of you.

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Get sweaty

Syncing your schedule with your partner is important if you both want to be able to give yourself over to that chill time completely. If you’re having trouble finding that synchronization, then look for chill time activities that make practical use of your time without having to take too much of it. Exercising together is a perfect example of that. Exercise naturally helps destress the body, helping you maintain motivation, a positive mood, and progress towards long-term health goals, which is great for feelings of achievement. When you’re doing it together, you don’t necessarily have to do the exact same exercises, but you feel the motivation of being part of a team and keep one another accountable. Plus, the post-exercise smoothie makes for a cute little mini-date.

Get away from it all

When you do find time to sync up and enjoy your time together, then there are few better ways to get away from the stress of daily life than to literally get away from them. You don’t need a lot of time and money to plan a romantic getaway with your partner. Don’t stress over finding the perfect far-flung destination and be more flexible. See what flights, trains, and hotels are cheapest or easiest to book at the time and simply get out of there. A break from familiar surroundings with nothing to worry about but the pleasure of you and your partner can be extremely refreshing.

Or just stay in

Don’t make the mistake of putting too much pressure on your getaway, either. It doesn’t need to be perfect or full of romantic gestures. You don’t even have to go anywhere. It’s the fact that you’re getting a break from your daily stresses that is most important. For that reason, a good staycation can work just as well as a getaway. In fact, if you haven’t been able to spend a lot of time together at home, lately, then a staycation might be even better than traveling somewhere else. Take a long weekend to free yourselves up entirely, no family plans, no social dates, no work emails. Just a blanket on a couch with takeout coming and plenty of movies to watch together.

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Physically force yourself to relax

Stress isn’t just a state of mind, it is very much a physical force that acts on the body to some unpleasant effects. Tender shoulders, sore backs, and aching joints can be caused by the tension that builds up in the muscles as a result of stress. A good massage not only helps the mind but forces the body to relax as well, helping you feel all kinds of refreshed and alleviated. A couples massage can work even better. Not only are you both taking the time to relax under the careful touch of a professional, but it’s a luxuriant, sensory experience that can both get you in the mood for romance without the need for a fancy candlelit dinner.

Zen out

Another relaxation technique that’s often treated as a more solitary experience is meditation. To some degree, meditation is very much about how you experience yourself, building the habit of getting away from your daily distractions. However, couples meditation isn’t as distracting as it might seem. It builds your ability to well and truly relax around one another without being constantly concerned about what they are thinking or how they’re reacting to your presence and actions. What’s more, some find that a meditation partner makes it easier to escape from the distractions within their own thoughts, whether it’s thinking about what you’re going to make for dinner, how you’re going to handle work priorities, or other concerns.

Put the phone away

Whatever you’re doing, whether it’s having a staycation, working out, or simply chilling out in the home, it’s important to not have your phone constantly in front of your face when you’re relaxing with your partner. First of all, it’s a little disrespectful that you’re actively paying attention to anything other than yourself and your partner. What’s more, too much smartphone activity has been proven to be bad for a relationship. Not only does it diminish your ability to maintain concentration and to clear your mind of distractions, but the constant access to stimuli, positive and negative, can keep your mind in a more active, irritable state. Anyone who has gotten into a fight or overreacted to their partner after seeing a fight on social media knows how that is.

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Chore together

Doing chores to relax? It’s not as bizarre as it seems. Chores are a responsibility, but they’re also one that has an immediate pay-off, like exercise. When you finish cleaning your home, you have a nice, pleasant home to relax in. When you’re sharing it with a partner, it can be even more relaxing. That feeling of teamwork towards a common goal is an all-around pleasant sensation and you don’t feel the residual resentment of doing household chores when your partner is doing nothing and gaining all the benefit. It also gives you an opportunity to chat while you work, in case you haven’t had the chance to catch up with them today.

Vent and be vented upon

Lastly, we can’t forget about the importance of communication. It is the bedrock of any relationship that’s going to be about more about dating and sex. You have to be willing to both let your own vulnerable side be seen and to see the vulnerable side of your partner. When you have a problem, venting to others instead of your partner can lead to feelings of alienation or mistrust within the relationship. Similarly, if you’re not prepared to listen to them without judgement and let them get their stresses off their mind, they can never be comfortable being their true self around you.

Since relationships can feel the stress that either partner brings into them, it’s important to let them feel the alleviation of the stress as well. Relax together, so that your relationship is soothed, instead of keeping your relaxation to yourself.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

How to Spot the Signs of Growing Apart

How to Spot the Signs of Growing Apart

We all wish relationships lasted forever, but statistics say otherwise. It is important that you educate yourself on how healthy partnerships should work and when it is time to make adjustments or move on. You don’t want your partner to drag you down or stop you from becoming the best version of yourself. Below you will find a few signs of one of the main reasons of relationship breakdowns; growing apart.

Image via Pixabay

He Is Stuck In His Ways

We all fall in love because we find something unique and appealing in the other person. However, people change, and we learn more about what they really are like, and we develop ourselves. If you find that he is not on the same journey as you, and doesn’t want to change, you will need to start thinking whether or not your relationship is worth it for him, or he is just stuck in the situation.

You Are Growing Faster

We all love developing and growing. You might enroll to a college course, improve your career, or simply take in meditation, If the other person doesn’t respect or value your effort and your journey towards self discovery, they will be left behind. If you have more ambition than they do, chances are that they will not be the right person for you for too long. It might be time to have a chat with a littleton divorce lawyer to research your options.

You Stopped Doing Things Together

One of the most common signs of relationships not working is when you stop doing things together. If he is no longer interested in going to your favorite place, you might be thinking whether or not they were pretending to be someone else in the beginning of your relationship. Other than lack of time, the lack of interest in each other’s passion can kill romantic relationships.

Your Values are Not Aligned

Image via Pexels

Of course, we all change our outlook in life and adjust our values as well as our personal mission. If your partner doesn’t believe in the same things, maybe criticizes you for doing things one way and not another, chances are that you will soon realize that enough is enough and you need to move on. If you cannot have a conversation any more, there is simply no point being together.

You Just Leave It to Them to Avoid Arguments

In case you find yourself walking away from arguments all the time, you will need to start thinking about the reasons. Is your partner using emotional blackmailing, or simply wants to belittle you? If you are always the person who takes a step back and leaves them to be, you will have to stop walking on eggshells and make some drastic changes.

When relationships stop working, it is important that you spot the warning signs before it is too late. Growing apart is hard to fix, without therapy, and you need to ask yourself whether or not you have the time and if it is worth the effort.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

How Do You Develop Stress?

How Do You Develop Stress?

Everyone feels stressed at some point in his or her life for various reasons. However, stress can manifest itself in different ways, and if you are not careful, it can become a really big problem. Symptoms range from the physical, such as chest pain and insomnia, to the emotional, including low self-esteem and the feeling of losing control. In order to prevent this from occurring, it is important to have a thorough understanding of how you develop stress. Discover more below.

 

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How you develop stress

Stress is a term that is used to describe your emotional or physical response to pressures or demands that you may experience now and again. Common causes of stress today include illness, relationships, money, and work. In some cases, stress can be positive, as it helps people to take action, develop, grow, and be stimulated. However, if you cannot cope with the stress you are experiencing, this can impact your physical and mental health in a number of ways.

 

The source of stress has changed considerably over the years. Modern day stresses are often prolonged in nature and originate from something psychological. For example, you may have financial worries or you may feel under pressure in the workplace. When this occurs, your hormones surge, as your body’s alarm mechanism is triggered. If you are over-exposed to stress hormones, your bodily systems can be impacted, including your digestive, immune, cardiovascular, and brain system. This is when negative symptoms arise. These symptoms include irritability, headaches, muscle pain and tension, depression, a lack of confidence, insomnia, high blood pressure, hair loss, and much more.

 

Ways to cope with stress

Reducing stress begins with you and your attitude. You need to change your outlook. If you adopt a positive attitude, you will be better able to cope with stress. You need to try and alter the way you look at things. For example, if something goes wrong, don’t dwell on what has happened, but see it as an opportunity. Look for ways to do things differently to improve the situation. Positive thinking can also have knock-on benefits too, for instance, it can improve our resistance to illness.

 

There are a number of other stress busters you can make the most of as well. Exercise is a good one. While exercise will not banish stress once and for all, it can help to clear your thoughts and lower some of the emotional intensity you are experiencing. You should also take some time to yourself. We do not get enough ‘me time’ these days because we are so busy with work and our families, and life in general. Spend some time away from work, having quality time to yourself, every week. You should also avoid unhealthy habits, for example, caffeine, smoking, and alcohol. Don’t rely on these as coping methods.

 

Is someone else to blame for your stress?

Claims can be made if you are suffering the effects of stress and feel that someone else is to blame. This could be because you are stressed after suffering an injury that has changed your life. It could be because you are stressed because someone is bullying you in the workplace. The scenarios differ. However, psychological injuries are taken just as seriously as physical ones when it comes to making a personal injury claim, and so it is definitely worth exploring this further. Derrick Law Firm offers legal solutions for injury matters. They will listen to what has happened to you, and they will be able to advise you on whether or not it is worth pursuing a claim for compensation. After all, you do not want to waste your time if there is no chance of it being a success.

 

Hopefully, you now have a better understanding of how stress is developed. For most illnesses, only once you get to the source of the problem can you rectify it. In fact, this is the case for virtually all of our problems in life. We hope that this blog post has helped you to get to the source of your stress, as well as providing you with some help regarding what to do about it. Do not forget to look into whether or not you are eligible for compensation if you believe that someone else is to blame for your stress.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

5 Easy Ways To Find Your True Soulmate

5 Easy Ways To Find Your True Soulmate

A soulmate is someone who completes you, someone you can love for a lifetime. But it is not always guaranteed that you will meet this person in your life; there are chances that they may be right in front of you but you still miss them. Finding that special someone is a quest that can be solved only by following your heart and understanding how you can open the doors that take you to them. Let us help you to know how to find your true soulmate.

Believe in true love

Relationships are fragile in the present times as people break up as easily as they come together. But if you want to attract that special someone to your life, believe in true love because it does actually exist. When you do meet your true soulmate, the relationship with them nourishes you and helps to experience personal growth to become a stronger, better person.

Focus on healing

It is quite possible to fall in love with someone even if that person is not your soulmate. Such relationships are based on physical attraction and seldom last. Broken relationships do hurt but healing yourself is the best way to open up to your true partner. If you are not able to heal, you will not be able to let anyone get closer, even if that someone is the partner that you have been looking for.

Love yourself

If you expect someone to love you, start by loving yourself irrespective of your looks and physical attributes. People with a sense of self-esteem are more attractive and have better chances of finding a partner who adores and respects them. Appreciate the traits you are blessed with and try to improve where you lack. By loving yourself, you look and feel attractive and give reasons to others to feel the same about you.

Wait with patience

You need to be patient enough to wait for the arrival of your soulmate in your life. And this does not mean that you should miss on good things while waiting. Often people make their lives miserable just waiting for true love to arrive. Such people tend to become negative and miss the opportunity to meet their soul partner even if they are around. Learning to live in the present and enjoying life before the person arrives is the key to finding the special one.

Be open to possibilities

Another way to find your soulmate is to be open to possibilities. Giordana Toccaceli, the renowned intimacy coach, reiterates that true love may walk in anytime and anywhere, sometimes when you expect it the least. You may even find the right person in someone whom you have known but not realized that they are the one. Just keep your senses open so that you do not miss the opportunity when it comes.

Finding your soulmate is like reaching your destination, but this does not make the journey any less special. So make sure that you stay happy and positive while you wait for that special someone to arrive in your life.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.