Tag Archives: relationship mistakes

You’re At A Crossroads: Which Way Should You Go? Tips For Couples Going Through Tough Times

You’re At A Crossroads: Which Way Should You Go? Tips For Couples Going Through Tough Times

It’s normal for couples to hit bumps in the road from time to time. No couple in the world has a perfect relationship. Even people who seem like they’re madly in love might have days when they argue like cat and dog. Sometimes, you come to point when you have to make a decision. If things haven’t been right for a while, or something has happened that has changed the dynamics of the relationship, you have to decide whether to try and find solutions for problems, or go your separate ways. If you’re going through a tough time, these tips may come in handy.

marriage-451596_960_720Image credit https://pixabay.com/en/marriage-connect-holding-hands-451596/

Identify the problems and talk about them

Have you been arguing for a while or do you not spend much time together anymore? Try and work out why things have changed or what has happened to make you feel uncomfortable. If you can identify the problems, it’s much easier to find solutions. Do you need to make an effort to spend more time together? Has one of you been neglecting the other or have you fallen down each other’s list of priorities? Have you been seeing somebody else or have you been thinking about what it would be like to be single again? If you’ve got things on your mind, be honest, and talk to your partner. It’s best that they know what’s going through your head.

Make time to chat about how you feel. Don’t just mention something in passing, and then go about your daily business. It’s important to communicate properly. You may find that talking and being frank gives you more clarity. Perhaps, you can work things out or maybe you might decide that there’s no way forward.

Seeking help

Relationship troubles aren’t always caused by problems between two people. Often, issues that affect one person have a knock-on effect. You may find that your partner can’t give their all to you if they’ve lost their job or they’re suffering from an illness, for example. If you’re dealing with external issues, don’t be afraid to seek help. Healing yourself can often have benefits for your relationship.

If you’re having troubles in your relationship, it may also be worth seeing a therapist with expertise in helping couples. If you’re keen to find out more about couple’s therapy, you’ll find pages like https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201203/5-principles-effective-couples-therapy helpful.

Being realistic

Sometimes, in life, it’s beneficial to admit that things aren’t working and to adopt a pragmatic approach. Splitting up may be a horrible prospect, but if you’ve tried everything, it may be the best thing to do. If you’re married, it’s wise to be prepared for difficult times ahead. It’s not as easy as going in different directions and not seeing each other. A divorce has repercussions for both parties, and you should seek expert help from a firm such as https://www.millerbowleslaw.com/. You may not want to think about the practicalities because it makes it seem very real. But the sooner you get your head around the processes and what’s going to happen, the better.

16028472885_f4cecd4054_zImage source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/128299857@N03/16028472885

Relationships are hard work. You have to compromise, and sometimes, you have to make sacrifices. Often, making changes and being open and honest can work. But sometimes, there’s no way forward. If you’re at a crossroads, hopefully, this guide will help you to make a decision.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

The Essential Guide To Safe And Healthy Dating

The Essential Guide To Safe And Healthy Dating

couple-955926_960_720Image Source

The excitement of the first date should be fun, but all too often we hear horror stories about dates going wrong. We can’t let this put us off dating, though. Most dates are safe and fun if a little bit awkward. If you’re planning a date soon, make sure you follow these top tips to ensure you have a safe and healthy experience and all the fun you want.

Talk on the phone first

If you’re meeting someone from an online dating site, make sure you speak to them on the phone before you meet them in real life. You’ll get a much better impression of their personality that way, and you’re more likely to hear if there’s something a bit weird about them.

Do your homework

At the very least you want to know his full name, his job and have a general idea about where he lives. And while you never have to admit it to him, it’s always worth doing a quick Google search of his name too. A quick look at his LinkedIn will tell you that he is being honest, and a Facebook stalk might reveal some mutual friends, who’ll hopefully be able to vouch for him.

Meet in public places

Just in case there is anything sinister about your date, it’s best to meet him in a public place the first couple of times while you get to know him. If he is worth it, he’ll understand that your safety has to come first. Try coffee shops, bars, restaurants, bowling, or even the park if the weather is good. Just make sure there are other people around, and you can leave easily if you want to. It’s a good idea to meet in the morning or at lunch time because you afternoon plans give a more organic and less awkward means of getting away if you’re just not feeling it.

Tell people where you are

Employ a buddy system, so your friend always knows where you are. Make sure you inform them if you move venue during your date, and give them an approximate time that you’ll be getting home. This just means that if anything untoward happens, someone’s always got your back. They could even come out on your first date with you – double dates tend to be less awkward, and it gives your buddy the chance to get to know your date too.

Take the essentials

You’ll want to have spare cash for a taxi, your bank card in case you get lumbered with the bill, and your mobile phone at the very least. It doesn’t hurt to carry mace too, just in case of an emergency. Making sure you’ve got everything you need means you can get away easily if your date starts to go south.

love-316640_960_720Image Source

Don’t drink too much

It can be tempting to knock the drinks back to loosen your inhibitions and get over the awkwardness on the first date, but it can also inhibit your ability to read a situation. For the first couple of dates, try to avoid drinking much, or even stick to non-drinking activities. You’ll find that you get to know your date more thoroughly when you’re coherent the whole time too.

Don’t leave food or drink unattended

Some people are just plain horrible. While it’s unlikely you’ll meet anyone with an ulterior motive, it’s always best to be as safe (and suspicious) as you can. Leaving a drink or a meal unsupervised could allow someone to slip drugs into them, which could compromise your safety. Finish your food and drink before heading to the restroom during a meal or in a bar – the risk just isn’t worth it.

Don’t give too much away

Early on in your dates, try not to give too much information away about yourself. For example, let them know the area of town in which you live, but not your street address. They can know your profession, but not your place of employment. It just means that if they turn out to be weird and you cut them off, they have no way to contact you or find you.

If you’re worried, leave

Don’t second guess yourself as a judge of character – if someone seems a bit weird to you, or you’re just not enjoying the evening, you are entirely within your rights to leave. Trust your instincts – if they get over-familiar or inappropriate too quickly, or anything that they say leaves you feeling a bit uncomfortable, remember that you know best. And don’t compromise your safety or happiness for the sake of saving some random guy’s feelings. If you’re worried about just walking out, ask the staff to call you a taxi or call a friend to come and meet you.

Give feedback

If you’re dating online and it does go wrong, heaven forbid, make sure you report his profile to the dating site and give them an outline of your concerns. It means that other women will not have to face the same problems as you, so it’s all about looking out for each other.

Practice safe sex

This should go without saying, but it is all to easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment. When you’re at that stage with your date, make sure you’re carrying condoms, as well as him. Don’t let him try to talk you out of safe sex – the risks just aren’t worth it.

Get regular check-ups

Even if you’re super careful, if you’re dating it’s important that you have regular sexual health check-ups, just to be on the safe side. Free std testing is available all over the country, so there’s no excuse not to.

Enjoy yourself

Don’t get too caught up in the end-game, just enjoy the process of dating, getting to know people, and having fun. If you’re too focused on where you’d like to end up, you could miss vital red flags, or just lose out on the enjoyment of it all.

Dating is really fun and doesn’t have to be scary. Just remember to keep your wits about you, your friends on hand, and to take it slowly, and you’ll have a safe and fun time.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Devastating Mistakes Made By Newlyweds In Their First Year Of Marriage

Devastating Mistakes Made By Newlyweds In Their First Year Of Marriage

We all know that marriage is a difficult thing to get right. According to the data from the US, about half of all marriages will eventually end in failure. And that’s just the headline statistics. There are millions more marriages held together at the seams by the duty to children and for financial benefit. How many happy marriages are actually out there? Some have estimated that the figure is as low as ten percent.

The reality of marriage is shocking. But a lot of the problems that blight the institution can be traced back to those first few months as a married couple. Couples who make mistakes early on can find it difficult to fix them later. Here we’re going to look at some of the issues that married couples have in their first year and what to do about them.

Making Mistakes When Buying A New Home

pexels-photo-192329Pexels

As a couple, you need a joint plan to get yourselves on the housing ladder. Going it alone or having secret saving accounts won’t work. Both of you need to be open and honest about the amount you can earn and the amount you can save after bills.

Once you make the decision to buy, it’s also important that you choose real estate agents with clout. Different agencies have different capacities. Some use data in an intelligent way to find you a home that actually meets your needs. Others take a back seat and let you make a decision that could cost you in the long run. Since you’ll be paying for your home for 25 years or more, it’s essential you make the right decisions as a couple early on.

Giving In To The Pressure To Have A Baby

pexels-photo-62272Pexels

Parents, and family in general can pressure you to have a baby early on in your marriage. You can’t leave it until later you’re repeatedly told. The problem for many couples with having a baby early is that they don’t get time to mature together as a couple. Parents need a sort of honeymoon period once they’re married to explore their relationship and get used to married life. Having a child can disrupt that process. What’s more, according to parents, having children is their greatest regret when they look back at their marriages. So it’s of vital importance that parents only have kids at the right time. When it comes to children, it’s worth waiting.

Spending More Than You’re Saving

6355818699_a9bed226f8_zFlickr

Besides kids, finances are the biggest cause of arguments between parents. At the start of a marriage, money is tight. You’ve just blown thousands of dollars on a wedding. And by the time you get off honeymoon, you’ve barely got the money to pay the rent. This is the point at which newlyweds can get into trouble. If something comes up, like a vet bill, many newlyweds find themselves unable to pay for it. This then creates additional stress that can wreak havoc on your relationship. A good rule of thumb, therefore, is to save, save, save. Skimp on the wedding if you have to.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Worried About Your Husband? Top Ways To Support Him (Without Pushing Him Away!)

Worried About Your Husband? Top Ways To Support Him (Without Pushing Him Away!)

Although we hope that our marriage will be happy ever after, life isn’t like that. Couples face many challenges that can tear them apart. But just like you said in your marriage vows, you will be there for the through sickness and health. Therefore, whether it’s some kind of illness such as addiction or depression, you need to help them through this challenging time. Here are some top ways you can support your husband without pushing him away.

pexels-photo-large-2Pexels

Speak to him openly about your concerns

The first thing you should do when you are worried about your husband is to speak to him. Sit him down and explain calmly about why you are concerned. There’s no point shouting at him as it will lead him to become defensive and not be honest. He will just push you away and end up being even more secretive. Therefore, deal with the situation calmly and give him examples which caused concern. Make sure he understands you are not having a go at him, but you are worried and want to help. If he sees how much it’s affecting you, he’s more likely to be open with you. Let him speak and don’t respond until he gets everything out that he wants to say. Once you know what’s going on, you can find ways to move forward. Ask him how you can support him and let him know you are there for him.

Seek help for him and explain why

You might be worried about how your husband will react if you contact a doctor or a therapist about the problem. After all, they might be furious that you have got someone else involved in the issue. But for the benefit of your husband’s health, it needs to be done. Talk to him about why you have involved them and how you feel it will benefit them. After all, they need to agree to go to some form of addiction treatment center. Otherwise, they won’t benefit from it, if they are not willing to acknowledge they need help. Therefore, talk to him and help him to accept he needs help if you want to support him through this challenging time.

Voice your worries in a controlled environment

It might not be possible to sit down with him to speak about your concerns in your own home. If he’s currently taking drugs, you might not feel safe to talk to him about it alone. Therefore, you should arrange for a controlled environment where you can voice your worries for your husband. It might be in front of a friend or family member who can support you if necessary. After all, he might listen if it’s a mutual friend. Or if you feel this might put his back up, it might be best to speak with him in front of a professional. You can attend counseling together and then can explain your worries there. He’s more likely to take you seriously and let you support him if you deal with it in a professional environment. And once he seeks help, you can work with the counselor to get your marriage back on track.

Remember to give him compliments and praise when he gets the problem under control. It will spur him on to keep going in the right direction with his recovery!

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Warning Signs Your Relationship Could Be In Trouble And How To Combat Them

Warning Signs Your Relationship Could Be In Trouble And How To Combat Them

Entering into a relationship can be one of the best feelings. Finding that one person you just connect with can be life changing. Of course, often these relationships turn into marriage and maybe a family. You expect to live happily ever after. But for some, that happily ever after feels like it’s over far too soon. This is because there are some cracks in the relationship that has started to surface.

Of course, sometimes this can happen. It might not be repairable when someone has betrayed or hurt the other’s feelings. Sometimes accepting that you need to call in the Divorce Services might be the right steps to take for you both to have your own happy ever after. However, not all relationships need to go down that route. With that in mind, here are some of the warning signs your relationship could be in trouble and what you can do to combat them. 14080770557_61219b30fd_b

Image credit

Lack of communication

Communication is vitally important for a relationship to work. You are on the same team, and with that means, you are accepting of the other person. You take on their highs, but you also need to be supportive of their lows. Just like you would expect the same. Communicating is the one way you can be supportive. For the good and the bad. So talk about your days, talk about what is good and even talk about what is bad. You’ll feel better just knowing you have your support network ready to cheer or wipe away a tear.

No sparkle

Relationships after a while fizzle out. This is when it can take a little hard work to ensure you don’t lose that sparkle. Starting a family can dull that shine, as you both embark on a new journey. Just as work stress and other problems can have a knock on effect. This is when considering date nights and time alone together is important for keeping that spark alive.

Arguments not being resolved

Have you ever heard the advice not to go to bed on an argument? But yet for many of us, we don’t take that advice and often arguments can last days or weeks. If you are finding is harder to resolve these issues then you need to learn to talk it through. Or at least agree to disagree before the night is out.

Letting the past dictate your future

We have all made mistakes in the past or been hurt. But when you let that hinder your current relationship then you could be in big trouble. It’s easier said than tdonw, but try and remember to live in the present moment. This person with you now is not the one who hurt you in the past. You are much more guarded, but that doesn’t mean you will be hurt again.

Feeling more like friends than a couple

Finally, we can all get to a stage of a relationship where it feels comfortable. Almost like you are just friends than intimate. But again this is when hard work is needed to get your relationship on track. Harmless flirting and communicating can often be all it takes to relight that fire.

Don’t forget to be a team.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.