Tag Archives: mental health tips

Ways to make a few extra dollars before the holiday season

Ways to make a few extra dollars before the holiday season

When it comes to prepping for the holidays, everyone feels they could use a lot more time and a little extra cash to ease the pressures of the season. Managing your time is another whole article… But here’s a few ideas that people have used to add a little extra cash flow into their mix.

Go retail

Getting a part-time job in a retail store could be a great option to make some extra dough. A lot of stores are looking for holiday help on a yearly basis. Bonus: The employee discount could benefit you in your holiday shopping.

Work the farm

Taking a seasonal job at an orchard or tree farm could give you a great outlet for earning some extra money. Bonus: Being outside and around nature is a great way to beat depression and stress. Being one with the earth and working the dirt has been known to boost the immune system.

Take a bet

Some individuals have found great benefit in playing games online to win some extra dollars. Try out games online in the comfort of your home. Bonus: Some people can take a little cash and turn it into a lot more. Gamble responsibly. If you or someone you know had a gambling addiction, seek help.

Sell your old treasures

I’m always an advocate for donating your old items around the holidays. But if you’re looking to earn a little extra cash, try selling somethings online. There’s several auction sites and consignment sites to sell your old treasures. Bonus: As the saying goes, one person’s trash is another’s treasure. Tired of that old designer bag? Fetching a few dollars while trading off for more closet space and bringing someone else joy, can get you some nice extra holiday cash.

There are plenty of ways to earn some extra money to help with the holiday. Remember, when it comes to buying gifts and things for the holidays, there are also plenty of sales to be had. Shop smart. Stress less. And enjoy the real meaning of the season…giving to those in need and spending time with those you love.
Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Getting Back On Your Feet With A Dancer’s Grace

Getting Back On Your Feet With A Dancer’s Grace

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Don’t worry. We’re not about to suggest you become a skilled practitioner of a difficult dancing style. However, when bouncing back from life hardship, a little grace can be more than worth it. We all go through tough times. Some more than most. Some less than others. Difficulty and hard times are all relative. Why, of course, some people really have little to complain about, that doesn’t take away everyone’s right to feel how they feel truthfully.

 

Getting back on your feet is important. You may be undergoing a difficult divorce, and the excellent utility of expert divorce solicitors is helping you through that. You may find yourself with an illness that will now dictate how you behave around certain situations. You may be dealing with the loss of someone close to you. Just like the positive of life is often there if you dig a little deeper for it, the negative side can, unfortunately, come crashing down, and will shape us in the long run. While you must never escape your feelings, you can try to improve them. You may decide to do so in the following ways:

 

Talk It Out

 

Talking about issues you’re experiencing can help you finally be rid of their weight. This is not something to ignore. There’s a reason talking therapy is becoming the new trend in immediate counseling. It helps you get a load off your chest, to help you realize someone is listening, and to be able to express yourself without that worry of being judged. Getting back on your feet is sometimes impossible without this. While stoically continuing matters and trying to focus on other matters can be helpful, you must never feel weak in wishing to talk. In fact, you are stronger than ever if you’re willing to talk about an issue that does trouble you and make you feel less than you are. Talk it out with a professional or someone who cares. It could help you more than you know.

 

Focus On Sustenance

 

Focusing on habits that sustain you is often a sure-fire method of ensuring you come back to your best self. You might take on a hobby, lose yourself in a constructive discipline such as exercising or perhaps hang out in more comfortable social circles. Finding matters, events, and hobbies that nourish your soul can help you become a better person through and through, particularly during a long absence from connecting with yourself.

 

Care & Appreciate

It can be easy to try and isolate your heart from your environment when dealing with a personal difficulty. Without a sense of comfort and willingness to care about things again, you can find yourself becoming stagnant. There is no shame in slowly opening yourself up when ready, and to do so at your own pace. However, knowing that this is the end goal can help you slowly begin to heal, and find courage in your deepest character. Caring and appreciating the good in your life can help you get there.

 

With these tips, you’re sure to get back on your feet with a dancer’s grace.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

 

Stressful Life Events and How to Deal with Them

By Guest Blogger, Diana S.

Stressful Life Events and How to Deal with Them

 

We all wish our lives were smooth sailing, with little to no turbulence and with all of our loved ones by our side. Very few people actually like big changes, especially if the changes stem from something negative. But, life isn’t perfect, and there will be times in your life when you will be stressed beyond your limits and you will feel like things are falling apart. Here’s how to recognize some of the most stressful events in life and how to deal with them in a healthy way:

Divorce

When you marry someone, you promise you’ll be with them forever. However, people change, and sometimes – they grow apart. Not everyone who falls out of love gets divorced, but it is perfectly okay if you do. Divorce happens, especially if the people married very young, if their marriage was arranged or if it was made because of other circumstances than love. Still, the divorce itself isn’t the most stressful part: everything that goes along with it is. Getting a divorce usually means one person moving away, splitting all of your belongings and sharing custody of your children. If a marriage ends badly, it can lead to nasty lawsuits and years of bad blood until everything settles down, with the majority of the conflict, unfortunately, being absorbed by the children. If you want your divorce to be as stress-free as possible, make sure that you both act civil. It happens, people fall out of love, and whatever the reason for the divorce is, you can settle it in a calm manner. Your nerves aren’t worth that couch you want. However, if one side feels they are being damaged, they should express clearly why they feel that way and contact a lawyer.

Moving house

Sometimes, life forces you to uproot your whole life and family and move them to a new place entirely. If you’re moving out of necessity, because you’ve gotten a job offer in Australia that you just have to take, there isn’t much you can do but make the move as painless as possible. This will, once again, be the hardest on the kids. If they are in school and they have friends and activities that they love, you will have to make sure you make the transition easy for them. Hire a local furniture removalist in Melbourne, get the house prepared before you even get there and make sure the kids’ rooms are all done up. Contact the schools and local sports and art centers to make sure they have a place to do their favorite activities in, and if you know any people there with kids of similar ages, make sure you start having dinners together as soon as possible. Most importantly, make sure you explain to your kids why you’re moving. If they understand that this is something that has to be done, and if you get them excited about the new opportunities in their new home, it will make it much easier for everyone.

Death of a loved one

There is really nothing as tragic as losing someone you love, especially if they were someone who were close to you and with whom you spent a lot of time. It can be a big shock but it is an inevitable change which you won’t be able to avoid. When a loved one passes away, it’s important to give yourself the time and space to grieve. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset and it’s okay to need time alone. You might feel better surrounded by family and friends, but there will be time when you will need to close the door and have a cry by yourself. It’s important that you eventually accept their passing and remember your loved ones by honoring some traditions they loved.

 

Life can get stressful, and that’s why it’s important to have a support network around you, one that will make sure you have someone to lean on when things get hard. Remember, the most important thing we have in the world are the people around us, so always keep them close.

 Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

7 Tips For Surviving Single Life As A Newbie

7 Tips For Surviving Single Life As A Newbie

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Now, before we get really into this post, let’s just start with a huge disclaimer. Single life definitely doesn’t have to be something that you survive. Single life can be something that you choose. And for many of us, it is. When you go through a breakup, it can be traumatic. And it can be incredibly hard to adjust to life without your significant other. But sometimes, that’s the choice we make. When the relationship is bad, you’re unhappy, or worse – you know that sometimes, you have to be single to be happier. But that doesn’t make that awful feeling any better. And then, you’re faced with life as a singleton and the idea of dating. And that can sometimes be terrifying. So, it’s handy to work out have to navigate this part of your newly single lifestyle.

 

Whether you chose to be single – or not, whether you’re happy to be single – or not, you’ll often want to adjust to this new style of life in any way that you can. And it helps to be able to do this with a few tips to get you started out. Because the person that you once shared your days and your life with, is no longer by your side. And that can be a scary thing to adjust too. But it’s definitely not impossible, and it can actually be fun. So let’s take a look at the tips to help you.

 

  1. Get To Know Yourself

 

One of the best and most beautiful things that you can do here, is to get to know yourself a little better. Yes, you’re single, but it can be a great thing. You’re on your own, and you only have yourself to think about now. And it’s refreshing. So really make the most of that and work out what it is that you really want out of life.

 

  1. Enjoy Being Alone

 

As a step on from that, you’re going to want to get used to being alone, and actually enjoy it. You will realize that you don’t need to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled. In fact, when you can enjoy being alone, and do things that make you happy, then you’re going to become so much stronger. And this will then put you in a better position when you do want to meet someone else.

 

  1. Talk If You Want To

 

So the next thing is, that you need to know that it’s okay to talk about the breakup or how sad you’re feeling. You don’t just have to be this super strong woman that feels great on her own and is better off. Instead, if you are feeling effected, then talk about it. Talk to your friends or family or even a specialist if it’s going to help you move forward.

 

  1. Be Okay With Moving On

 

Okay, and then you’re going to want to make sure that you know that it’s perfectly okay to move on. You don’t have to stay single for a set period of time, or you don’t have to worry about it not working out. Instead, embrace the idea of meeting someone new and being happy in a relationship again.

 

  1. Discover New Ways To Date

 

Then, when it comes to the idea of dating again, why not consider new ways to do it? Don’t just hope you’ll have your romantic moment. Instead, consider options like dating apps, lesbian chat, or going on blind dates. And be open-minded about how you can meet someone that makes you happy.

 

  1. Know What You Want

 

But one thing that is incredibly important for you when you are looking to move on, is knowing what you want in a relationship. That way, you won’t get caught up in another situation that will hurt you, and you’re going to be happier when you do meet someone.

 

  1. Put Yourself First

 

So, one of the most important things that you have to do here, is to make sure that you’re putting yourself first. Because when you were in a relationship, you may notice that you were always thinking about your significant other, and putting them first. And that’s definitely something that’s natural. But now it’s just you – and you’re well within your rights to now put your own needs first, and focus on what you want. And keep that up, even when you meet someone else. This is the best way to make sure that you continue to say happy, whether you’re single or you meet someone new.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

3 Ways That Upgrading Your Home with Tech Can Improve Your Peace of Mind

3 Ways That Upgrading Your Home with Tech Can Improve Your Peace of Mind

Self-confidence is a big deal. The more of it you have, the more likely you are to realise your full potential in any area of life, ranging from your professional life, to your social life, and even your gym-life.

 

Peace of mind, a related concept to self-confidence, is all about your ability to feel comfortable that things are the way they should be, and that you don’t have to worry about any dramatic upheavals or avoidable crises.

 

Typically, when people are talking about ways to improve your self-confidence and your peace of mind, they’ll be referring to purely psychological techniques. They may, for example, advise you to look into signing up for some sessions in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT – with a therapist.

 

As it so happens, however, your peace of mind isn’t always being held back purely because of a negative mindset on your part. Sometimes, you may have genuine cause for concern when it comes to your home and immediate environment.

 

Here are three ways that upgrading your home with tech can help to improve your peace of mind.

 

Install security cameras

 

The world isn’t quite as safe as we might like it to be, and even those of us who live in relatively safe and stable societies, still need to be mindful of basic security concerns, and to watch our backs.

 

Home invasions are one of the most terrifying prospects for many of us – the idea that someone violate the inner sanctum that our home is supposed to represent, and possibly do great harm to us or our loved ones.

 

Even if your home isn’t being stormed by armed men in the early hours of the morning, however, burglaries and antisocial acts are plentiful cause for concern.

 

Investing in security camera systems allows you to track and identify suspicious behaviour – such as people checking out your property – and contact the police. The very presence of a camera will also act as a deterrent.

 

Install built-in water filters, and invest in a HEPA air filter

 

“Sick Building Syndrome” refers to assorted health conditions, including respiratory issues, which occur as a result of being exposed to noxious air within an enclosed space.

 

Believe it or not, the air in your home may be poisoning, as assorted dust mite, mould spores, gases from appliances, and other toxins, fill the air.

 

Your water can likewise be contaminated, with plastic bottled water often being contaminated by hormone-disrupting xenoestrogens.

 

Install built-in water filters, and invest in a HEPA air filter, for your health and peace of mind.

 

Buy a smart thermostat

 

People are very touchy about the temperature inside their homes. There’s usually a very precise range within which people will feel comfortable, and where the cost of the heating will seem to be justified.

 

Smart thermostat technology, such as the Nest Learning Thermostat, will “learn” your preferences and habits, increase the temperature when you need it, and decrease it when you don’t, in order to save money.

 

With a smart thermostat you can allow your home to adjust itself automatically to your preferred temperature, while saving you money in the process.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

How To Improve Your Focus

How To Improve Your Focus

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Do you find that you are struggling to focus as of late? Do you often find yourself staring out of the window or day-dreaming and you don’t know how long you have been doing it for? Maybe you cannot focus on one idea for a long period of time without getting frustrated and thinking about something else? We all get like this from time-to-time. However, the only person that can get your focus back is you. With that being said, read on to discover a number of different suggestions that will help you to regain your focus again.

Take short breaks – There is only one place to begin, and this is with taking short breaks. Sitting at a computer for hours on end is not going to help anyone. Instead, if you take short breaks and you do so regularly, you give your brain a chance to refresh. You will come back to your station feeling rejuvenated, which will enable you to tackle your work with a much higher level of focus and concentration. There have also been a number of studies that have backed this up too. This includes one that was carried out by Alejandro Lleras, a psychologist at the University of Illinois. He carried out a study that involved participants taking short breaks throughout a task lasting 50 minutes. He found that they performed better than participants that worked straight through the task without taking any breaks. The theory is simply that short breaks like this will re-energize the brain. In order to stay focus, you need to deactivate and reactivate your goals. Brief mental breaks will actually enable you to stay focus on the task at hand.

Turn on some music – Another way to increase your focus levels is to turn on your music. You may assume that this would be a distraction, but it all depends on the music you play. After all, too much background noise can be very distracting. However, if you play a song that you like, it can help you to focus your thoughts. This is something that was proven by the University of North Carolina and Wake Forest School of Medicine. You can find their research in the Scientific Reports. The researchers that carried out the study said they were surprised by the consistency of their results because of the fact that music varies considerably, from pieces with and without lyrics, to the differences in acoustic complexity. Nevertheless, no matter whether it is Beyoncé or Beethoven, listening to music that you enjoy can help you to improve your focus.

Check the thermostat – The next step in improving your levels of concentration is to check the thermostat. Your focus can be negatively impacted if your place of work is too hot or too cold. You need to make sure you are comfortable and that you are working to the optimal temperature.

Grab a coffee – Are you the sort of person that needs a morning coffee to get your day going? If not, this could be where you are going wrong. You are probably aware of the fact that coffee can give you an energy boost and wake you up. However, it does a lot more than this, as it can actually help you to focus on the day too. A run to the coffee shop could be just the thing you need if you require an attention booster in the afternoon.

Natural energy boosters – There are a lot of energy-boosting products available on the market today, yet most people are skeptical of using such supplements. This is understandable. After all, you don’t want to put something in your body if there is a risk of it having an adverse side effect. This is why it is good to use a natural energy booster, for example, something like Nitro Xtreme works well. With natural products like this, you can be sure that you are not consuming anything harmful. Some of the ingredients in this product include Niacin, Chromium, Zinc, Magnesium, and CoQ10. This increases your focus and gives you a natural boost of energy, making it especially suitable for anyone that has been experiencing a hectic and stressful life lately.

Unplug for 30 minutes – Earlier, we spoke about the importance of taking brief breaks throughout any task you are carrying out that is going on for a considerable amount of time. However, it is also good to unplug for 30 minutes if you find that you are struggling to get in the zone out of work. This means logging out of social media and your email too. You can do this at the beginning of the day or for a period during the afternoon, whatever is better for you. You will be shocked by how much more you can achieve once your emails and social media messages are not distracting you. Why not go one step further and turn off your notifications altogether? A lot of people assign themselves certain periods throughout the day for checking their emails so that it does not get in the way of what they are meant to be doing at work.

Understand what your focus needs to be – You are going to struggle to achieve the high levels of focus and concentration you need if you cannot determine what is worthy of your distraction. Every morning, think about what really needs your most focus for the day so that you can direct your efforts properly and you can avoid wasting time on tasks that are not considered an emergency.

Prepare your brain – Aside from the points that have already been mentioned, another way that you can focus more effectively is by calming your brain prior to carrying out any task. You should take a minute or two and sit in a position that is comfortable for you. Practice deep breathing into your stomach. This does not mean that you need to chant or sit cross-legged. You merely need to find a way to calm your body down before you start your work. This will really help you to get into the zone and concentrate.

Drink more fluids – The final tip when it comes to giving your focus the boost it needs is to drink more fluids. This is another suggestion that has been proven with a study. The Journal of Nutrition found that mild dehydration is one of the key reasons for inattention. Their 2012 study concluded that drinking more fluids could make a big difference in terms of focus levels. They recommend 12.5 cups for men and nine cups for women. Carry a water bottle with you while you are at work and use an app on your phone to track how much water you have drunk each day.

As you can see, there are many different ways that you can improve your focus. If you have been struggling to concentrate in the workplace and you do not know what to do to get your high levels of concentration back, follow the suggestions that have been provided above and you should notice a difference in terms of your efficiency and focus levels. You will be able to achieve more, and you will know exactly what to do if your concentration levels ever start to take a dip again.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

5 Things You Can Do to Feel Better about Yourself

By Guest Blogger, Rebecca B.

5 Things You Can Do to Feel Better about Yourself

We can’t always feel our best or be at our best. But in order to live a happier and more stress-free life, there are certain things you can do to help the tough times flow by faster.

Exercise More

Did you know that exercise actually makes you happy? While doing your workout, your brain recognises the activity as stress, which is why it releases endorphins which are also known as the hormones of happiness. And the more you “torture” your body with exercise, the happier you are afterwards! You can even get hooked on your daily workout and it is probably the best addiction you can develop. There is a long list of benefits including a healthier heart, lower blood sugar levels, a slimmer figure, a sense of achievement, better mental health, to name but a few.

Most people find it hard to endure a certain type of exercise. We tend to give up for all sorts of reasons: it is too hard, we don’t have the time, it is more fun to do other things or we simply get bored of repeating the same drill over and over again. You can solve this problem by changing the type of workout you do. Combine different activities such as running, cycling, swimming and going to the gym. Or try out some fun new ways to keep fit such as power yoga, pilates, kickboxing or even dancing.

Enjoy a Long Walk by Yourself

If you want a quick fix for your body and soul, then go outside and take a stroll by yourself! Did you know you can spend a lot of calories just by walking? In one hour, you can burn about 200 calories, which is one snack. And just being outside alone and enjoying the fresh air will help you clear your mind and forget about anything that was previously bothering you. Beautiful scenery will help you even more, so go to a park, forest, river bank or simply stroll along quiet streets.

But what if it is too hot, too cold, too windy or too rainy outside? Then you can walk at home! All you need is a few square meters and a step counter. You can play the music you like or even watch a movie! And if you need extra motivation, find walk at home videos online.

Eat Healthy

Changing your eating habits can also help you feel better about yourself. If you want to lose weight, start counting calories. You can download an app to help you monitor what you eat and achieve your goals. You should also carefully choose the food you eat. Read the labels and avoid products which contain additives, artificial sweeteners, nitrites, nitrates, and other nasties.

You should also try to eat more organic food and cook your meals from scratch. Instead of buying a pasta sauce or mayonnaise, why not make them yourself. Fresh, healthy food tastes better anyway! Whenever you can, cook your meals, because it can be so rewarding. And if you don’t have time to do that, buy healthy, quality ingredients which can be tossed together and prepared quickly, or order food from trusty restaurants.

Have a Cosmetic Procedure

Not happy with your looks? Why not treat yourself with a cosmetic procedure! If you need a small boost, try one of the non-surgical treatments such as lip enhancement, face fillers, acne treatment or laser hair removal. Perhaps you have a tattoo you are no longer happy about? That can be fixed too!

Cosmetic surgery is nothing to be ashamed of if it can actually improve your overall wellbeing. A small intervention can boost your confidence and let you embrace new opportunities in life easier. In some cases, it can even improve your mental health!

Have a Pampering Session

 

And occasionally spoil yourself with a pampering session! Book a treatment at a beauty salon to fix your brows, get a wax or have your nails done. It will make you feel so much better about yourself! Or even go to a spa and enjoy a massage, an indulgent cosmetic treatment, a sauna or an energetic swim in the pool. It is a great idea for a girly outing with your bestie!

Alternatively, stay at home and dedicate an evening to yourself. Light up your favourite candles, make a bubble bath, put a rejuvenating mask on your face, do a scrub and use your most loved lotions and potions. Then tuck yourself in comfy pajamas and watch a series you are hooked on. It is one of the best ways to end the day and fill yourself with positive energy.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

‘Psychiatry’ Isn’t a Bad Word

‘Psychiatry’ Isn’t a Bad Word

Several years ago, the word ‘psychiatry’ had a sigma, just like ‘online dating’. Back then, if you needed therapy, one could feel weak for needing to do so. That’s not the case, then or today. Just look at online dating, it’s practically a way of life for single folks. But as for all folks in general, we need to understand there is a strength that comes from partaking in therapy. Having a healthy mind is more important today than ever before. The technology of today moves so fast. The demands of the job are overwhelming as companies expect one man to do the job of three. Kids with phones basically attached to them are seeing their idols or school mates commit suicide. We as a human race need to protect our minds. Strengthening the brain is like working any other muscle in the body. It takes discipline and routine.

Let’s Get Physical  

Working the brain also happens with physical exercise. Get your heart started. Shut off the phones and tablets and come up with a routine to work your body muscles as well as your brain. Cardio is a great way to heal your brain from depression as well as provide a good oxygen intake that is important for your blood, heart and lungs. Not a gym goer? That’s okay. Walking, running, even skipping causes the brain to strengthen. Remember when you were a kid and you would try to pat your head while rubbing your tummy? That is a brain exercise. Just add in some deep breathing to allow that oxygen to climb to the brain.

Give Me a B

B vitamins have proven to be a great source for improving brain function. Specialty diets, like vegan or gluten-free can strip you from these vitamins if not done properly. Adding in a Super Complex-B vitamin into your daily could provide a balance to your mind. If you need an extra kick to fight off depression or anxiety, talk to your doctor about adding in an Amino Complex. These vitamins and minerals are essential to the brain and all your functions.

Find the Source?

It’s still debatable on if a person needs to find the source of their depression or anxiety to actually heal. Throughout all my research, some therapists believe the brain can heal with or without the original source that has provoked the underline depression or phobia. If you can work with a partner or therapist to pinpoint your issue, fantastic. But if you can’t pinpoint, don’t give up hope thinking this mindset is now your only way of life.

You Are Not Alone

It’s important for all humans to know that they are not alone. There are hotlines to call for help. There are online psychiatrists, chats and counseling available, all hours of the day. If you have children, talk to them about the dangers and finality of suicide. It’s a scary topic, but some kids don’t understand that suicide is a permanent thing. If you or someone you love is fighting with depression or anxiety, call a psychiatrist or reach out to the national suicide prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255.

Dating online with apps might be at the point where nobody shrugs, but we need to do the same for therapy. It’s important. Get your mind healthy. We all get stressed and overwhelmed. But don’t let things add up to where you feel stressed or overwhelmed on a daily basis. Life is a gift. It shouldn’t feel like a curse. Life gets tough, so we can toughen up, but it shouldn’t be a constant struggle. If you feel like it is, then I recommend talking with your doctor about therapy options. Life really is a beautiful thing. Here’s wishing you strong mental health and getting back to good.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

 

Little Annoyances Adding up to Big Marriage Problems?

Little Annoyances Adding up to Big Marriage Problems?

I’m not a fan of the saying, ‘the honeymoon’s over’. Seriously, a honeymoon is about a week out of your entire relationship, so why does it get so much power over a marriage?

I believe relationships tend to have seasons—yes, just like the weather. Sometimes it’s summer and all is roses while other times it’s a hard-hitting hurricane season. However, every season that comes and goes, we as humans expect its arrival and most survive it’s passing. So why can’t couples do the same?

With the divorce ratio getting higher, I think it’s time we all take another look at what is causing marriages and long-term relationships to fail at such a high rate.

 

It’s the little things that add up

It seems to be the case for most relationships that crumble. The weight of those little things add up to be something so heavy, couples get weary. Being weary is when all the bad can soak in. And then, those little annoyances become huge problems in your relationship. Think about when you are sick. You already feel bad, but it’s excruciating to bump your arm on top of being sick. It’s the same concept, little things make you feel bad, but then pile on those little annoyances after feeling weary and it’s enough to end your relationship. You need to stop that mindset in its tracks. Experts believe those little annoyances are partly the reason you were attracted to your partner to begin with, so in that case it’s time to rest and reboot yourself.

 

Put on your own oxygen mask first

When you are tired, you need rest. This doesn’t mean sleeping, per se, but clearing your mind and emotions from what you think needs to be done. In most cases, what you think needs to be done is fixing your partner’s annoying little habits. That’s not the case. You can’t fix your partner, you can only fix yourself. Take time to reflect on being a better you.

 

In the words of Otis Redding, ‘Try a Little Tenderness’

You can’t change your partner, no matter how much you threaten or yell. That method is not only destined for failure, it’s exhausting. After you have made yourself a better partner, you can try some tenderness towards your partner. You already know the things that drive your crazy, but what about your partner? Does it drive your spouse crazy that you leave your wet towel on the chair? Then make an effort not to do it. We all want respect. So by respecting your partner and their wishes, perhaps they will see the change in you and be inspired to change themselves into being a better partner for you.

 

Sometimes we need an outsider looking in

You’ve worked on yourself and you’ve been giving your partner the respect, but still, nothing has changed? It’s not exactly true, if you have changed. But, sometimes we need someone on the outside to mediate the situation, especially if you’ve approached the concerns and your partner reacts dismissive or causes you to become introverted with your feelings. Seeking help from a marriage counselor is a great way to have an unbiased opinion. Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn how to open up and discuss issues in a healthy way. Did you even know there’s a healthy way to argue? It’s true.

 

Marriage and long-term relationships take work and lots of communication. Most of all, they take respect and adjustments. That’s why I think relationships are like the seasons. It’s true, we don’t love all the seasons all the time, but there’s no beauty like the first snow fall or the thrill of the lightening storm in spring. Not all relationships are built to last, but most marriages aren’t meant to be as fleeting like a honeymoon. Shovel out the little annoyances before they have a chance to get too heavy.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.