Tag Archives: Long term relationships

Little Annoyances Adding up to Big Marriage Problems?

Little Annoyances Adding up to Big Marriage Problems?

I’m not a fan of the saying, ‘the honeymoon’s over’. Seriously, a honeymoon is about a week out of your entire relationship, so why does it get so much power over a marriage?

I believe relationships tend to have seasons—yes, just like the weather. Sometimes it’s summer and all is roses while other times it’s a hard-hitting hurricane season. However, every season that comes and goes, we as humans expect its arrival and most survive it’s passing. So why can’t couples do the same?

With the divorce ratio getting higher, I think it’s time we all take another look at what is causing marriages and long-term relationships to fail at such a high rate.

 

It’s the little things that add up

It seems to be the case for most relationships that crumble. The weight of those little things add up to be something so heavy, couples get weary. Being weary is when all the bad can soak in. And then, those little annoyances become huge problems in your relationship. Think about when you are sick. You already feel bad, but it’s excruciating to bump your arm on top of being sick. It’s the same concept, little things make you feel bad, but then pile on those little annoyances after feeling weary and it’s enough to end your relationship. You need to stop that mindset in its tracks. Experts believe those little annoyances are partly the reason you were attracted to your partner to begin with, so in that case it’s time to rest and reboot yourself.

 

Put on your own oxygen mask first

When you are tired, you need rest. This doesn’t mean sleeping, per se, but clearing your mind and emotions from what you think needs to be done. In most cases, what you think needs to be done is fixing your partner’s annoying little habits. That’s not the case. You can’t fix your partner, you can only fix yourself. Take time to reflect on being a better you.

 

In the words of Otis Redding, ‘Try a Little Tenderness’

You can’t change your partner, no matter how much you threaten or yell. That method is not only destined for failure, it’s exhausting. After you have made yourself a better partner, you can try some tenderness towards your partner. You already know the things that drive your crazy, but what about your partner? Does it drive your spouse crazy that you leave your wet towel on the chair? Then make an effort not to do it. We all want respect. So by respecting your partner and their wishes, perhaps they will see the change in you and be inspired to change themselves into being a better partner for you.

 

Sometimes we need an outsider looking in

You’ve worked on yourself and you’ve been giving your partner the respect, but still, nothing has changed? It’s not exactly true, if you have changed. But, sometimes we need someone on the outside to mediate the situation, especially if you’ve approached the concerns and your partner reacts dismissive or causes you to become introverted with your feelings. Seeking help from a marriage counselor is a great way to have an unbiased opinion. Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn how to open up and discuss issues in a healthy way. Did you even know there’s a healthy way to argue? It’s true.

 

Marriage and long-term relationships take work and lots of communication. Most of all, they take respect and adjustments. That’s why I think relationships are like the seasons. It’s true, we don’t love all the seasons all the time, but there’s no beauty like the first snow fall or the thrill of the lightening storm in spring. Not all relationships are built to last, but most marriages aren’t meant to be as fleeting like a honeymoon. Shovel out the little annoyances before they have a chance to get too heavy.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Hear it from a Guy: How to Spice up Your Marriage

By Guest Blogger, Robin B.

Hear it from a Guy: How to Spice up Your Marriage

 

When you’re in a marriage or a long-term relationship there’s quite a lot of things you get to enjoy, but as you age, so does your relationship. It can be quite easy to settle in the comfort zone and after some time, when you think about your marriage, the word “spicy” does not come to mind. Settling down doesn’t mean you will have to sacrifice feelings of desire and passion, but it calls for a little bit of work.

 

We’ve done some digging around, and we’ve come across some general tips on how to bring some flare to your married life. This isn’t some kind of a guidebook which will lead you to happiness, but more of a pointer. Every relationship is different, and only you and your partner really know how to address each other’s needs. This article aims to help you out with understanding those needs, so, without much ado, let’s dive in and get straight to it.

Be Creative

In order to keep the excitement in your relationship, you need to keep things interesting. Doing the same things over and over again will eventually make them boring and obsolete. If that has already happened to you, don’t despair, all you need to do is start thinking creatively.

 

Think about your partner and what they like. Think about which things bring them pleasure. Don’t be afraid to make them feel aroused from time to time. Plan an exotic date, take your partner for a couples massage, and make sure your partner is comfortable. You can choose the romantic approach, or you can be a bit naughtier, but the point is to make things as interesting and pleasurable as possible. Making your partner feel desired while feeling something new will most definitely help you feel more connected to them.

 

Change the Scenery

 If you are doing the same thing over and over, there is a great possibility that it will become your routine, and the routine is quite boring. A trip to a foreign country could be a great experience, and if you don’t have the budget for that right now, you can google places that are near you. If you are already doing this, then do it differently from time to time. My advice is to find hotel alternatives such as luxury apartments, and surprise your partner. Don’t go to the same place just because you liked it. Try something new. Create new memories.

Get in Shape

One of the biggest problems in long-term relationships is what sex becomes after some time. As we get older and our body changes, the way we enjoy sex changes as well. But, when you strip it down – sex is a bodily function. This means that your overall health and condition affects the way you have sex quite seriously. There are a lot of things that can go wrong if for example, your cardiovascular health is bad, or if you have high cholesterol level.

 

In order to avoid any serious problems, but also, in order to keep your sex life interesting and healthy, you need to get in shape. Adding regular exercise to your daily routine has an incredible effect on your body and the way you feel about yourself. With regular exercise, you’ll become more energetic, durable and you will enhance your entire immune system.

 

Go Naughty

Another way of avoiding the dread of every-day-life which may consume your marriage is to keep things open and talk to your partner. Having sex should be something you both enjoy, and not just a random act you occasionally try out. If you want to really spice up your marriage, you should start talking about your sex life and your fantasies with each other.

 

There are a lot of things you can do, for example, you can take your partner to a sex toy shop and find what would be interesting to try out together. Try to understand what turns your partner on, and how to do exactly that. You can even seek some professional help, if you’re brave enough, that may help you revitalize your sex life altogether. The most important thing is to talk with your partner and define clear boundaries.

 

Final thoughts

Sex is a large part of all marriages, and it’s a large part of basically any romantic relationship, but it’s not the point of any relationship. In order to really spice up your marriage, you need to think about small things, things that make your partner happy. Be detailed and try to surprise them as often as you can. You will be surprised how much your sex life and sex drive will change, once you focus on your partner more than on the sex itself.

Sex is a large part of all marriages, and it’s a large part of basically any romantic relationship, but it’s not the point of any relationship. In order to really spice up your marriage, you need to think about small things, things that make your partner happy. Be detailed and try to surprise them as often as you can. You will be surprised how much your sex life and sex drive will change, once you focus on your partner more than on the sex itself.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Dig That Relationship Out Of A Rut

Dig That Relationship Out Of A Rut

After the initial butterflies and champagne stage of a relationship, romance and love go from a whirlwind pace to a slow, more relaxed pace. No one expects a relationship to stay in the honeymoon phase forever, but if yours has gone from loving and sexy to pensioners at dawn, then there needs to be a change made. Life is far too short to be boring and while the steady, more calm love is deeper and more meaningful, it can feel a whole lot less racy than it used to be. If you feel like you’re getting stuck in a relationship rut with sex-by-numbers every weekend, then it’s up to you to pull yourself out of it and inject a little something else into your regular routines.

Image Source

Trying to think of the best ways to spice up your routine is just as tiring sometimes, so what you need to do is sit down together and brainstorm how you can get through a rut and come out the other side happier and more in tune than ever. We’ve got some ideas, so why not work your way through the list?

Image Source

  • Flirt. Flirting isn’t just for teenagers, you know! There’s nothing wrong with a few flirtatious messages sent back and forth while you’re at work, so check out this list of text messages that could get you started!
  • Shower Together. Some couples don’t have the drive or the inclination for sex, especially when small children are in the picture. Not having a regular sex life doesn’t mean you can’t have intimacy and canoodling together in the shower is one of the best ways you can talk, laugh and have fun. If you’re looking to go one better, check out this shaving guide and give the gift of hygiene. There’s nothing stopping you both getting groomed together, either!
  • Say ‘Yes’. If your spouse comes to you with a fun idea, don’t shoot them down. There’s nothing more off-putting than someone who isn’t willing to try out a new restaurant, theatre show or even bedroom Olympics idea. So, put your comfort zone down and say yes for a change. You never know what you could discover!
  • Kiss. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But often the first thing to go in a relationship are those sweet kisses you find yourself caught in. Sure, the lusty kisses that lead to steamy romance may have dwindled, but there are so many other types! Off to work kisses, just because kisses, sleepy kisses to say good morning. They’re all there for the taking so don’t miss the opportunity to pucker up.
  • Date. Long term relationships that involve children go so quickly. One minute you’re holding hands in the park after a dinner date and the next it’s been five years and you’re knee-deep in dirty laundry with no time to even brush your hair. Invite him out on a date and spoil him for a change, he will love you taking charge!

Marriage and relationships can get boring, but it doesn’t have to stay that way!

 Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.