Tag Archives: how to handle a divorce

Having A More Amicable Breakup For The Sake Of The Kids

Having A More Amicable Breakup For The Sake Of The Kids

When breaking up with your partner it is never an easy time for one another and especially if there are children involved as it also will have an effect on them too. When going through a break up where Kids are involved then it is always best to go through it amicably to reduce the strain it causes on them and also to make sure they don’t lose any respect for either of you if you were to go about it nastily. Here are some tips to help you get through the break up without affecting the kids too much.

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Stay amicable

Being amicable is about treating each other nicely during the split or at least doing so in front of the children. If you are at each other’s throats all the time the kids will take that in and either bottle up which can affect them mentally or they could even start acting out because of it which would mainly be at school, therefore, having an adverse effect on their school life too. If you are not able to talk things over amicably then it may be best to do it with a mediator or counselor to make sure you get somewhere with your talks.

Get things legalized

When going through a break up involving children it is always best to have any time with the children legalized. This means that you have the children on your set days and this can not be prevented unless done through the courts, this also stops the children from being used as a weapon in a rocky separation as it is in writing when you can have the children, what days and for how long for. This is done as part of the separation/divorce procedure with the assistance of child support who will help you come to the best arrangments with each other on who has who when.

Be fair

When you are deciding on the legal side of things and what you want to get out of the split then make sure you are fair to each other as much as possible as if you were to take too much from one another then this can have implications on having the children and keeping them. If they are not able to look after them because you have taken more off your partner than is fair then that creates more bitterness during the separation and can lead to them making it harder. If you are fair in the legal battle or with splitting who gets what including the children then it will be better for the children in the long run as they will see both parents and have a good upbringing no matter who they are with.

A breakup is awful for both parties but especially the children, this will have an effect on them not only short term but long term too. If you are kind and fair throughout the whole ordeal then they will come out of it stronger and it will be more beneficial for all parties involved. With these tips, you will be able to get through the breakup with as little damage to your children as possible.


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Damage Limitation Legal Advice For Men Going Through Separation

Damage Limitation Legal Advice For Men Going Through Separation

Some relationships don’t work out, but that’s just human nature because our lives are complicated and personalities change over time. Men are starting to realise that they don’t need to accept some kind of social pressure that has previously made them feel as if they’re the guilty party, by default. Upon their partner’s separation request being legally filed, men have taken more of an active role, to know what their rights are and what the best practical tips are for coping with this challenging circumstance. In the courts, you need to commit to an actual dialogue with your soon to be ex-partner and with her lawyer, to get a rounded understanding of the specific demands put forth. No matter how many separation cases a court has gone through, every single case is treated individually, so there’s no end-all-be-all advice on how to handle a particular situation. However there are some basic steps, men can take to better prepare themselves for putting their case to the legal authorities.  

 

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Should you move out?

Some men find that keeping the peace is better than arguing when the divorce papers have already set the wheels in motion. They want to keep things civil and try to be respectful to their partner for the sake of the good times they previously had, or the fact that they don’t want to alarm the children. If your partner is reasonable and cooperative, that’s a bonus, but sometimes emotions get the better of both parties are hostilities boil over. The stereotypical thing to do is to move out, but men are no more guilty than women, so think twice before booking a room in a cheap motel to pass the time. There are financial advantages and disadvantages if you’re the higher income earner, by staying in the house, that you should discuss with a lawyer.

Get the proper legal team

Don’t settle for a legal team that’s cheap because they’re likely to be inexperienced. Family law help is crucial for men in this day and age because it’s more likely that your former partner will get custody of children; statistically speaking. A good attorney will inform you of the legal obligations most men are given such as child support, spousal support such as alimony, parenting plans and protective orders. They will help you gain a better perspective of the culture in which the law is interpreted so that you can protect your financial and mental health in the best possible way.

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Consider settling

Separating can get ugly, and the fact that going to court can be green-lit, the tone can amplify in seriousness and stakes become higher. Some cases might go on for years, but your ex-partner and her lawyer can sometimes be willing to avoid a long lengthy battle and hold an agreement outside of the courts. If you can, settle outside of court as this will drastically cut legal fees, and you may get a better deal from her lawyer than you might from a judge. Workout a legally binding stature and think of a long-term agreement that you’re comfortable with, then start negotiating. Think of the things that matter most, such as the children, property and savings accounts.

 

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I Want To Break Up: Five Soul Destroying Words 

I Want To Break Up: Five Soul Destroying Words

The person that you love the most in this world has just uttered five of the most soul-destroying words that you will ever here: ‘I want to break up’. Maybe you knew this was coming; perhaps things haven’t been right for a while now? Or maybe you have had no idea that your partner was unhappy and are in complete and utter shock? Either way, hearing those five little words is never easy, especially when you have put your heart and soul into your relationship, only to have it crumble around you.

pexels-photo-14303Photo from Pexels

Knowing what to do when the love of your life tells you that it’s over is difficult. Whether you were expecting it or not, it doesn’t make dealing with a breakup any easier. A lot of women struggle to know what to do and what steps to take when their partner wants to break up. Although it’s going to be hard no matter what you do, you need to get to grips with what is happening and start putting yourself and your children (if you have any) first.

To get through your breakup and get your life back on track, here’s what you need to do:

Talk to your ex-partner

The first step in any break up is talking to your ex-partner. Whether that is face to face or over the phone, it doesn’t matter. What you need to do is talk things through, this will allow you both to get some closure and will help to make organizing your separate lives easier. If you have children or pets that you share custody of, this is even more important. Try to discuss the important things like who will live where, when will the children see each parent, and things like that. If you can settle these things amicably, it will make the divorce process easier for everyone.

Find a lawyer

Regardless of whether you want to make your divorce an amicable one, it’s a good idea to have a lawyer on hand. As that way, you have someone to explain each part of the divorce process to you, and also have someone to discuss any concerns that you have with, such as the custody arrangements for the kids. Your best bet is to hire a divorce specialist to help with your case so that you know you are in the best hands. If money is tight, you may be able to get appointed a free lawyer, depending on your financial circumstances, that is.

Spend time with your nearest and dearest

Marital breakups are hard, which is why spending more time with your nearest and dearest is so important. You might think that you are coping with the break up on your own, but it’s always good to have a support system in place to lean on. Just in case you find yourself struggling a little bit with everything that’s going on.

Breaking up is never easy, especially when you are married to your partner. However, what it’s important to understand is that sometimes it’s for the best. It might be hard at first, but in time you will most probably be happier and more content for it, it just takes time to adjust, that’s all.

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You Have To Think About The Kids

You Have To Think About The Kids

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Divorce is such a horrible thing, but it happens. You never planned for it, but it happens. For whatever reason, it has happened. It comes with stresses, worries, hurt, love, anxieties and pain. But the hardest thing about divorcing the person you once loved is protecting your children. They are your every thought, that piece of you that you will do anything to protect. Of course, it is worth noting that a lot of children cope with divorce fantastically, and come out unharmed and unaffected.

But not all of them, which is why you will need to do everything you can to ensure they are as protected from the effects of your divorce as best as you possibly can. That is where we come in. We have gathered as much market research as possible, including advice from experts and divorcees, to ensure that your children remain the priority through this incredibly tough time.

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Set The Priority Straight

Your marriage may have broken down, but you still share your children, and that you always will. You are both going to be responsible for raising them to be incredible adults. As such, you need to reaffirm with the other parent that your children’s emotional health is at the very top of the priority list. Whatever happens, you will protect them from harm and hurt. That is your duty as responsible parents, and that chat needs to happen from the outset.

No Fighting

Emotions will be high, and often uncontrollable. They will flare at times and you will get under each other’s skin. But try and control your emotions as much as possible, because the more control you have the easier it will be to remain calm and not fight. This is going to be in your child’s best interests. To help you, we suggest you hire an attorney who is experienced in this area of law, such as Barton Wood. It is also wise to seek mediation, and perhaps go to counseling together. The sooner you can tolerate each other, the better it will be for your child.

Be Role Models

You are both role models for your child. You are the biggest influences on their lives. You will want to show them how to be mature, how to act when the going gets tough, how to approach undesirable situations and how to show strength. Remember, showing strength doesn’t have to be pushing. It can be in accepting the other person’s opinion too.

Be Involved

A parent needs both parents. They deserve it too. So no matter how much you may despise each other, you cannot let your child suffer because of your pride. By both having an involvement you drastically reduce the chances that your child will grow up with emotional health problems. There is no point telling yourself that you would make a great single parent because it is irrelevant. What you should be telling yourself is that your child needs both parents in their life. It takes bravery to do that, but being a good parent is all about being brave.

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6 Tips Getting Over Past Hurts in a Relationship and Move On

By Guest Blogger Mason B.

6 Tips Getting Over Past Hurts in a Relationship and Move On

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Being in a relationship gives one a happy and exciting feeling. It allows one to feel so blessed, special, and extraordinary with the care and treatments were given to the person. Everyone hopes to find the right person who will treat them exceptionally, who will support them all the way, and who will bring out the best in them.

 

Some people are lucky enough to find this special person in an early stage of their life. While some are still struggling so hard waiting and finding for this special someone to be in a relationship. Others are blinded and unaware that the previously happy relationships are starting to fall apart. This part of life can cause major sadness and depression due to the hurts and pain.

 

It is also at this point of life that one should learn to accept the things that happened to be able to let go of the past and move on. A lot of ways can be done to ensure new joy and happiness in life. This can be easily achieved by following simple steps or tips on how to get over the past and become a renewed person.

 

Practice releasing regrets

People tend to dwell on the wrong things done which allow the end and the changes in the relationship. This may seem productive for some time. However, it should come to an end. One should instead focus on the good side and things that happened in life. Remember that a lot of people are there to support and to help.  These people will help to let go of the feelings by short conversations. But remember not to be so hard and drown the entire feelings to them. Always focus on the positive side of life and always pull one to be the best.

 

Express your pain – and your responsibility

One should know to express the pain that made you feel hurt. It is important to get all the pain out of your system. Doing this will enable one to fully understand the reason behind the sufferings and pain. One of the most common ways that can be used to express oneself is through writing. This can include writing in a journal or in the form of a letter. Write anything and everything to make one feel better. Remember that the pain being felt is normal and will go away in time. Learn from the mistakes and use this to move on with the next phases of life.

 

Stop being the victim and blaming others

When pain arises, it is always good to feel like a victim or being on the winning side of the team. However, keep in mind that the world doesn’t care about it. The pain that one is feeling is only a part of the big scenario in life. Refrain from focusing on one aspect only, instead focus on the complex picture of life. The choice of living peacefully and meaningfully simply relies on the choice of the person. A person should always choose the bright side of life. It is their responsibility to start feeling good again, pursues happiness, and enjoys life to the fullest.

 

Recognize and replace fearful thoughts

Always learn to recognize mistakes and the possible consequences of every action. Once fear is felt, pray and know how to replace the sad thoughts in one’s mind. Never be afraid to face the new challenges that the changes have to offer. Some opt to choose the hard way. This includes legal actions such as services from the DeRoberts Law Firm. It may be fearful at times but may be rewarding as well. Always embrace changes and recognize several thoughts. If positive thoughts are present, continue thinking and inspiring. But f negative thoughts arise; replace the thoughts with a positive outlook on life.

Focus on the present

Always focus on the present happenings. Stop thinking of the past things that occurred and stop reliving the memories that it gives. Remember that the past situations can no longer be undone. Consider today o the present day as the best phase of life and enjoy every single detail of it. Give time for healing and using the past experiences as helps motivate to become a better person in the present. One should give a big room for anything positive in the present rather than stay in the shadows of the past.

 

Forgive yourself and others

The first step in achieving the goal of forgetting the past and moving on is to forgive oneself. The change should always start in oneself. Accept the fact that something wrong was done. It is also necessary that one forgive others who have hurt them. Without forgiveness, one will be stuck in pain and agony. Do not be afraid to forgive one and others since it is not a sign of weakness. Forgiveness is also a way of seeing things from another point of view. The step of forgiveness is a way to live in the future with all the peace, joys, and happiness in life.

 

Life is full of surprises. Always remember that there are ups and downs. Learn to enjoy life to the fullest. Enjoy every single detail that it has to offer. If pains and hurts arise, never ever give up, it is just temporary. Instead, learn to accept defeat and pain, stand up, and face life again. Keep in mind; you only live once (YOLO).

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram

 

Author Bio –

Mason Brown works at Divorce Lawyer in Syracuse. He loves to write well researched and high quality content on different topics related to marriage, family, financial issues and business opportunities. He also devotes himself to coaching and counseling clients.