Tag Archives: Falling in love

3 Tips for Avoiding Pain and Heartache in Your Romantic Life

3 Tips for Avoiding Pain and Heartache in Your Romantic Life

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There are, unfortunately, a lot of things that can cause of misery in life — but heartbreak often does the most damage to our sense of wellbeing and our ability to look forward, optimistically, to the future.

Yet there is no heartbreak equivalent to a personal injury lawyer, and no insurance that you can take out on your emotional wellbeing. Instead, all you can do to protect yourself from a broken heart is to be careful of how you act, and to try and put your trust in the right person.

There’s never a guarantee that you won’t experience heartache, and a lot depends on the actions of the other person. But since you can do something about how you act and behave, here are some tips for avoiding unnecessary pain and heartache in your romantic life.

Realise that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love — love is something you discover and build over time

A lot of people are constantly hopping from one partner to the next, not because they never connect with their previous partners, or because things are just unbearable, but because they are looking for the wrong thing.

It’s common that serial monogamists will stick with a partner as long as the new-relationship-thrill hangs around. But when that seems to fade, they take it as a sign that it wasn’t real love, and go looking for real love with someone else.

It’s important to understand that the thrill you feel at the start of a relationship is different from love. That thrill is part animal attraction, part the thrill of the chase, and part your own subconscious projections onto the other person.

Love is something that you discover and build over time. Love is the little comments and habits that make you melt. It’s the inside jokes, and the shoulder to cry on during tough times. It’s looking forward to waking up next to your partner.

Make sure that you’re not confusing the two things.

Be truthful and express yourself carefully — even “white lies” can sink everything

They say that honesty is the best policy, and they’re right, especially when it comes to relationships.

If you begin your relationship on a bed of untruth — even if you’re telling “white lies” you only guarantee that bigger lies will be built on top of them over time, and that the trust and health of your relationship will be seriously wounded, or destroyed, sooner or later.

Commit to being completely truthful, and express yourself carefully, instead. If your partner asks “do I do anything that annoys you?” answer gently but truthfully. It’s better than saying “no” and then spending months or years being irritated by their everyday habits, until you lash out during an argument.

Take responsibility for how you act in the relationship, don’t try and force your partner to change how they act

We might all want our partners to behave more in one way, and less in another, but the truth is that no one changes unless that change comes from within.

In your relationship, you should take responsibility for how you act — because that’s in your control.

But you should not try and force your partner to change how they act. It will not work, and it will cause tension, anger, and hurt feelings. At best you can gently ask if they’d be willing to do things differently, then leave it at that.

Ultimately, the best way to get your partner to change is usually to “be the change you want to see.” Act a certain way yourself, let the example rub off, and hope for the best.


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What If He’s Not The One? (These 5 Signs Tell The Truth)

What If He’s Not The One? (These 5 Signs Tell The Truth)

Source: Is it time to turn your back on a relationship? Possibly.

 

Falling in love is the greatest thing in the world. Sadly, though, the statistics show that it often doesn’t last. For many people, admitting defeat is the hardest thing, even when they can see it coming from a mile away. If you are in this situation, a speedy solution is crucial.

 

While I hope you are reading this post purely out of interest, there’s a good chance that most of you already think that there could be a problem. Here are five factors would suggest that those doubts are well founded.

 

#1. You Don’t Share The Same Outlooks

 

When you first start dating it’s easy to overlook conflicting opinions and ambitions. In fact, this is something that can continue for many years to come. Or perhaps you’ve just grown into different people. While love isn’t easy, fighting for something when you both want different things is futile. Whether it’s a desire to travel the world or simply contrasting ideas on how to spend your weekends doesn’t matter. Drifting apart is a signal that things are heading to a negative outcome. Either work things out or call it a day, waiting for things to fizzle out isn’t good for anyone.

 

#2. You’re Not Ready For The Next Commitment

 

Most relationships encounter a number of milestones along the way. Moving in together, getting married, and having a baby are all key moments. There’s no need to rush into those commitments. However, if you find yourself putting them off for years, there could be an underlying reason. Whether you have doubts about his Dad traits or think he may be unfaithful, those issues can be hard to lose. As such, they may be an indication that things are coming to an end.

 

#3. You Don’t Feel Supported

 

A loving relationship needs to work both ways. Your feelings for him aren’t enough if they aren’t matched by his towards you. Staying with a man that leaves you feeling undervalued and unappreciated can change you as a person. This can manifest itself in many ways, ranging from a lack of support during your period to not noticing your haircut. Or if he expects you to do all the chores without even showing gratitude, there is a major problem that needs to be addressed.

 

#4. You’re Not In It For Him

 

When you are deep in a relationship, the decisions might not only affect the two people involved. However, staying in it solely for the kids isn’t healthy. They’d be better suited to having two happy homes rather than one unhappy one. Divorce Paralegal experts can provide the support through the process. Before making drastic decisions, though, it’s worth discussing things with him as well as with friends and family. It might just be a bump, but if there’s no real passion for him, this cannot be ignored.

 

#5. You’ve Started Looking Elsewhere   

 

Cheating may be the last thing you’d ever do due to your morals. But even giving it serious consideration suggests that things aren’t great in the relationship. Of course, we all have celebrity crushes and there’s nothing wrong with thinking a co-worker or friend is attractive. Still, when there is a genuine desire to be with someone else, it’s because you don’t want to be with your partner. Likewise, flirting through tech devices as a way to get attention is a telling factor. Both of you deserve better.

 

Ending a relationship is final, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Still, if the signs are pointing towards a clear outcome, acceptance is pivotal. In the long-term, that short-term pain might be the best thing for you.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.