Tag Archives: divorce

Stressful Life Events and How to Deal with Them

By Guest Blogger, Diana S.

Stressful Life Events and How to Deal with Them

 

We all wish our lives were smooth sailing, with little to no turbulence and with all of our loved ones by our side. Very few people actually like big changes, especially if the changes stem from something negative. But, life isn’t perfect, and there will be times in your life when you will be stressed beyond your limits and you will feel like things are falling apart. Here’s how to recognize some of the most stressful events in life and how to deal with them in a healthy way:

Divorce

When you marry someone, you promise you’ll be with them forever. However, people change, and sometimes – they grow apart. Not everyone who falls out of love gets divorced, but it is perfectly okay if you do. Divorce happens, especially if the people married very young, if their marriage was arranged or if it was made because of other circumstances than love. Still, the divorce itself isn’t the most stressful part: everything that goes along with it is. Getting a divorce usually means one person moving away, splitting all of your belongings and sharing custody of your children. If a marriage ends badly, it can lead to nasty lawsuits and years of bad blood until everything settles down, with the majority of the conflict, unfortunately, being absorbed by the children. If you want your divorce to be as stress-free as possible, make sure that you both act civil. It happens, people fall out of love, and whatever the reason for the divorce is, you can settle it in a calm manner. Your nerves aren’t worth that couch you want. However, if one side feels they are being damaged, they should express clearly why they feel that way and contact a lawyer.

Moving house

Sometimes, life forces you to uproot your whole life and family and move them to a new place entirely. If you’re moving out of necessity, because you’ve gotten a job offer in Australia that you just have to take, there isn’t much you can do but make the move as painless as possible. This will, once again, be the hardest on the kids. If they are in school and they have friends and activities that they love, you will have to make sure you make the transition easy for them. Hire a local furniture removalist in Melbourne, get the house prepared before you even get there and make sure the kids’ rooms are all done up. Contact the schools and local sports and art centers to make sure they have a place to do their favorite activities in, and if you know any people there with kids of similar ages, make sure you start having dinners together as soon as possible. Most importantly, make sure you explain to your kids why you’re moving. If they understand that this is something that has to be done, and if you get them excited about the new opportunities in their new home, it will make it much easier for everyone.

Death of a loved one

There is really nothing as tragic as losing someone you love, especially if they were someone who were close to you and with whom you spent a lot of time. It can be a big shock but it is an inevitable change which you won’t be able to avoid. When a loved one passes away, it’s important to give yourself the time and space to grieve. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset and it’s okay to need time alone. You might feel better surrounded by family and friends, but there will be time when you will need to close the door and have a cry by yourself. It’s important that you eventually accept their passing and remember your loved ones by honoring some traditions they loved.

 

Life can get stressful, and that’s why it’s important to have a support network around you, one that will make sure you have someone to lean on when things get hard. Remember, the most important thing we have in the world are the people around us, so always keep them close.

 Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

4 Tell Tale Signs That Your Relationship May Be Ending

4 Tell Tale Signs That Your Relationship May Be Ending

Breaking up is hard to do, or so Neil Sedaka would have us believe. Any relationship that ends, whether amicably or in a shouty mess is traumatic for everyone involved. You may have been devoted to the same person for years, only to witness the foundations of your bond crumbling. Trying to maintain an amicable end to a relationship is ridiculously hard, even for the most friendly of exes. Breaking up is intense, emotional and bittersweet. Although this may be a mutual decision, there will always be one person in the relationship who initiated the ‘break up’ thought. If this wasn’t you, it could be even tougher to go your separate ways.

 

Often we are caught in a state of flux with our relationship becoming more volatile alongside periods of breaking up and then making up. While the making up can be a lot of fun, the roller coaster motion of the relationship can be emotionally draining and is unsustainable. Something’s got to give. Take a look at these signs that may show you that your relationship is ending.

 

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  1. Things Are Stagnant

 

Often when we are the throes of young love or feel the initial flames of a burning passion, relationships can progress quite naturally. You may begin dating before spending more and more time together. You might introduce one another to family and friends. You move in together, and then, that’s it. For many couples, this suffices, and they build upon the foundation of their relationship with shared experiences and become closer. However, for other people, they hanker after marriage and children. Unless spoken about early on in a relationship, one party could be in for a rude awakening when they realize that their partner is not interested in a piece of paper or becoming a parent.

 

The feeling of being stagnant and going nowhere in a relationship can be crushing. You may have been tactile initially and enjoyed one another’s company. If nowadays you spend your evenings sat on separate sofas glued to a smartphone or tablet screen with barely an utterance between you, it may be time to reassess your relationship. If you want different things from your partner, you need to end the relationship sooner rather than later. The fear of being single shouldn’t keep you tied to an unfulfilling relationship.

 

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  1. Their Cute Habits Are Not Anything But

 

Remember when you first met your partner and they had the sweetest sniffly sort of giggle? Now that noise that emanates from their face every time they find something funny is driving you crazy. Or do you remember when your partner used to leave you sweet love notes in the oddest of places for you to find around your home? Now all you do is wince at the amount of paper litter dotted around your humble abode. If those traits that your partner has no longer give you the warm butterfly feelings that they once did, you may be outgrowing the relationship.

 

If you have been with your partner for a long time or you have even walked down the aisle and said ‘I do,’ it can be hard to make the break. However, firms like USAttorneys are on hand to give you impartial advice on the legalities of divorce, home ownership and assets. While the emotional side of breaking up can be testing, the practical and financial aspect cannot be overlooked.

 

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  1. You Seek Time Apart

 

Often the first sign that we no longer want to be in a relationship is our newfound ability to find any excuse not to spend time with our partner. We may head out for dinner with friends a little more often, decline the offer of dates a little more or choose to spend a night in alone with a good movie and a tub of ice cream rather than spending it with your supposed loved one. If nearly all other eventualities are more appealing than spending time with your partner, don’t fall into the trap of ghosting. This is unpleasant and unkind. Sit down with your boyfriend or girlfriend and make the break. This is easier to do if you haven’t made any sort of long-term commitment such as buying a house together or marriage. In any case, you need to talk. Unless they are in complete denial, they will know that something is awry and possibly has been for some time. Your partner may simply be waiting for you to signal the break to allow you both to carry on with your lives.

 

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  1. One Of You Is More Into The Other

 

While you may not be a commitment-phobe, the fact that your partner professed their undying love for you a fortnight after you first met may be enough for you to call a halt to the whole thing. At the same time, if you are the one who has been struck by Cupid’s arrow early on, it can be difficult to hold down your true feelings. You don’t want to appear clingy or needy when you have only been on a couple of dates. If it’s impossible to slow the relationship train down, one of you will become more emotionally invested than the other which can lead to a traumatic breakup. When someone feels suffocated in a relationship, that relationship will not end up being a long one.

 

Sit down with your partner, talk about your feelings and make an effort to take things slowly. If the next day you find a dozen roses at your door or find that your partner has lined up some apartments for you to view to potentially move in together, it’s time to break up.

 

Relationships, especially those that you thought would last forever, can be difficult to end when you have to wave goodbye to a future that you thought you had planned out. However, it’s better and healthier for all involved to make a clean break rather than make do and wallow in an unhappy relationship. For your own sanity and health, be single for a while, date when you want and enjoy getting to know yourself again.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

How to Choose the Right Counseling for Your Relationship

How to Choose the Right Counseling for Your Relationship

Everyone goes through a tough time in their relationship. It’s almost inevitable that you and your partner will at some point argue over something. Whether it’s a trivial matter, a complete misunderstanding or a serious problem, we all have ups and downs in our love life. But, as the saying goes, whatever doesn’t break your relationship should make you stronger.

One of the most common ways to mend a relationship is to hire a counselor for help. If you’re suffering from major issues in your relationship then you’ll want to try your best to get professional help, but it can be daunting trying to pick the right person to trust with your problems. It goes without saying that counseling sometimes doesn’t work, and things such as success rates could potentially put you off ever speaking to someone.

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The reality of counseling

First, we need to go through some basics. Counseling doesn’t guarantee that you and your partner will get back to together. In fact, most couples leave it far too late and, as a result, they don’t get the desired results. Some couples wait until their relationship is almost over until they decide to visit a counselor, and this is a terrible idea. Professionals can identify problem areas with your relationship, not just fix current issues, so if you’re currently in a fine relationship but want to safeguard your future, then consider speaking to a counselor regardless. In addition, counseling sometimes results in ugly conclusions such as divorce. While unpleasant, you shouldn’t completely rule out the possibility of your counselor telling you that divorce is the best option.

Faith-based counseling

People often forget that our decisions can be heavily influenced by our faith. This is why services like Christian counseling exist for those of us who follow certain religions. It’s important to understand that you need to think about someone’s faith before you decide to call in a counselor because the decisions and conclusions you reach will be different. Depending on your teachings, the ideals you follow and so on, it’s possible to solve an issue in different ways that won’t lead you to betray your beliefs. Picking the right counselor that understands your beliefs is the key to having successful therapy sessions.

The reputation of your counselor

You need to pick a counselor that has a good reputation. There are many counselors out there that will refuse to listen to you, opt to pick a treatment or conclusion that doesn’t fit your overall goals, and could even damage your relationship. As a therapist, their position is incredibly important in the role of improving your marriage, which is why you need someone who is trustworthy and has a long list of clients that can vouch for their services. If you’re unable to find recommendations locally, then look online and read reviews on nearby counselors to size up the services available in your area. Take your time on this step, because the difference between a good and a lazy counselor could ultimately make or break your relationship.

 Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram