Tag Archives: considering divorce

3 Ways To Handle Divorce In The Right Way

3 Ways To Handle Divorce In The Right Way

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No one ever expects a divorce to happen, but the reality of life is that they often do occur. They can be very hard or easy affairs depending upon your situation but they are often difficult so don’t have your hopes up for an easy ride with it. People usually get on the bad side of divorce, and whilst there isn’t a good one, there are some things you can do to make it as painless as possible.

Give Yourself Time To Decompress

This is a very important part of a divorce, and so too it is for any other big, arguably traumatic event. Decompression is the time it takes for you to fully realize everything that is going on, to explore your feelings and know where you stand with everyone who is involved, as well as yourself. It’s very important that you allow yourself time to do this because it lets you get out, and then figure out, all of the negative emotions that will be hiding away. If it’s a particularly troubled divorce then you may find yourself wanting a divorce therapist that can you can visit and talk to in order to make you feel okay again.

Make Sure You’re Legally Covered

If you have anything that is in both you and your partner’s names you need to be legally covered. When a divorce occurs, the right for who get’s what is the game that is played, so you need to have a good legal plan for when the court cases come around. This can be for children if you have them and for all of the items that belong to you both, which makes getting a divorce quite a difficult process. You could get items or child custody wrongly taken off you, so to avoid this you have to be legally covered.

Ensure Everyone Knows What Is Going On

It can be easy to shut yourself away and not tell anyone you know about what is going on, but the truth is that a problem shared is a problem halved so it’s good to tell people what is going on. Not only will it make it easier for you, people need to know what is going on in your life in order to keep up with you and help you if needs be. Any children you have will need to know too as it will affect them the most. Be realistic with them but also not harsh as to not upset them too much. You cannot avoid your kids being upset when this happens, but if they are well informed and looked after properly then the blow dealt will be much less painful.

It is advisable that you do all of these things if you are going through a divorce. They are difficult times and are never, ever easy so expect the worse with them and you’ll be surprised when it doesn’t come to it! Deciding whether or not you need a divorce can be a difficult thing as it’s a very intricate and intimate situation, so read this if you think you’re coming to a crossroads within your relationship.

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2 Great Ways To Restore Communication In A Marriage

2 Great Ways To Restore Communication In A Marriage

One of the biggest causes of separation in today’s world is a total lack of communication. We are all so busy working, raising families and being absorbed in smart phones that we forget to communicate how we feel in the old-fashioned way: talking. When a marriage begins to disintegrate, it can go from feeling bad to feeling worse very quickly, and the main cause for this is the fact that people don’t communicate how they are feeling to each other.

Marriages break down for a number of reasons. Sometimes it’s due to something as simple as boredom and sometimes it’s due to outside factors beyond your control. The thing is, not everyone wants to turn to divorce and it’s often the last resort. If you have children, it may be tempting to hang onto a miserable situation for the sake of the image of a family unit, but that’s not healthy. It’s vital that you and your spouse do what you can to be happy and if that eventually means in being happier apart, then it’s better for everyone all round. Choosing to go down the route of divorce can feel very final, but there are things that you can do before calling Arnold, Wadsworth & Coggins to file papers. Your marriage meant something to you both once, and you owe it to yourselves to try and untangle the web of sadness that has been created before you call the curtain. So, how can you restore your communication before it’s too late?

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Counselling. When you are in a situation where you are fighting with the person you love, it can become frustrating. Neither of you want to back down and admit defeat, and so nothing is ever resolved, which breeds a lot of resentment. Making a mutual decision to seek professional help to try and piece things together in a neutral place can help. No one likes to see the other person’s point of view when they are certain they are right, but you have to make the effort to open your mind so that you can try and reach a level of understanding that makes sense for you.

Reconnect. Do you remember the early days of your relationship, where you would meet for a simple coffee or dinner and discuss anything and everything in the world? Getting back to basics and reconnecting can help when the communication has been frayed for so long. Make a vow that you don’t argue during these days. Discuss the things you like and your current jobs. Even if you have been together for years, you can still be surprised by the day to day things you can learn about each other, especially when you’ve lost the communication between you.

The final step is true acceptance. If you have both given the marriage significant effort on both sides, have tried to bring things back to basics and haven’t managed to come back together, then divorce is the last resort. It makes sense to try as hard as you can to bring the marriage to its previous best, but sometimes if that cannot happen then separating for good is the best thing all round.

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Saying Goodbye To That Relationship And Starting Fresh

Saying Goodbye To That Relationship And Starting Fresh

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It’s always a tough time when you reach the end of a relationship. After all, you might have been with the person a number of years. And they probably have been the closest person to you. And if you are married, it can be even tougher as you have to go through a tricky divorce. But it’s important to remember there is a fresh start at the end of this difficult time. In fact, here is some help to ensure you can say goodbye to that relationship for good.

 

Put pictures away in a box

 

It’s always photos which can spark up memories of your life with your ex. In fact, you can just glance at a picture of the wedding, or even a photo of your first date, and it can send you back to the time. Therefore, to help you through to the other side, you need to remove all photos in your home of your other half. You might not want to throw them in the bin. After all, you can’t wipe the memories completely from your life. Therefore, get a box which you can fill with pictures of the past relationship. Putting them away can help you move on with your life. As for social media, it’s a good idea to delete photographs of you with your old partner. After all, it will ensure you get no reminders of the past relationship on your timeline. And you might want to unfriend them. That way, it will stop you becoming a regular stalker on their profile!

 

Get rid of any permanent reminders

 

While you might be able to put old photos away in a box, it can be harder when it comes to more permanent reminders. For example, you might still be wearing your wedding ring on your finger. But if you keep seeing it when you are going about your day, it’s going to make it tricky to say goodbye to your relationship. Therefore, take the ring off as soon as possible and put it away in the drawer. Also, if you have any tattoos of your partner’s name, it’s now time to get rid of it. After all, you don’t want this permanent reminder of your ex on your skin. In fact, you might want to book in for tattoo removal to ensure it’s a distant memory. And with these permanent reminders gone, you can move on with your life.

 

Look into moving place

 

You might have spent the last few years living with your other half. But now you have split, your partner might be letting you stay in the humble abode. But it’s always a good idea to start somewhere new if you want to say goodbye to the relationship for good. After all, there will be a ton of memories you will have shared together in the place. And it will always feel like the home of the two of you. Therefore, give your notice to the landlord or sell up to ensure you can find somewhere new to start again.

 

And remember to have a final chat with your ex. So many couples leave things unsaid. But to ensure you can move on, it’s time to have a chat with your other half to ensure you say everything you want to!

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The Unexpected Shock of Divorce: How to Cope

The Unexpected Shock of Divorce: How to Cope

Divorce is one of the most stressful things you can experience in life. But the fact remains that that divorce rates continue to rise, as they have been doing for quite some time now. It’s not the kind of thing that you can prepare for, and it can arrive in a variety of ways and for a variety of reasons. But finding ways that help you cope with the whole process is really important. There are negative ways and positive ways to go through a divorce.

No One Expects Divorce, But it Happens

Most people get married and expect to live happily ever after. This is what’s in their mind, but how the reality plays out is rarely the same. I don’t want to be unromantic here because many marriages do work out happily and the two people stay together for the rest of their lives. But for many people, it falls apart much sooner than that. And they didn’t expect that, just as you probably didn’t expect to be getting divorced.

It’s important to realise that these things happen, though. Sometimes, people just drift apart, and they just become incompatible, even if they used to be compatible. There is often little sense in persevering with a marriage that’s dead because it probably won’t come back to life anytime soon. It’s not necessarily even anyone’s fault; it just happens.

Remain Practical, Even When Emotions Run High

Emotions do often get the better of people when they’re going through divorce proceedings. There is often a desire to get the better deal and take revenge on the other person. This might seem rational at the time, but in reality is mostly childish stupidity. And divorces are much easier to cope with when both people act like reasonable adults and work to make things as pleasant and easy as possible.

This means you probably shouldn’t try to go through the process without hiring a lawyer. Many people think that this will actually help they to avoid conflict. In fact, the opposite is true. Most of the time, divorce lawyers can balance out personal conflicts and keep things strictly factual and logical. They are not weighed down by the emotions you two both feel.

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Move on and Experience New Things as Quickly as You Can

If you want to cope well with divorce, once the proceedings are over with and you no longer want to be associated with your former partner, you should just move on. If you spend too long dwelling on what happened and what went wrong, it will just weigh you down and make your life a misery. No one wants to go through that.

You should try to change your life and do the things that you have never done before. This can provide you with a sense of freedom that you never had before. You can meet new people, try new things and spend money on stuff your ex would never have wanted you to spend money on. This period of moving on and breaking free is one of the most important.

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The Considerations of Breaking Up 

The Considerations of Breaking Up

Breaking up with your partner is one of the hardest things that you can go through. When you get close to somebody and let them into your life, it can be difficult to consider that they may be moving forward and sharing their intimacy with somebody else further on down the line. While it may be what’s best for you in the long run, it certainly doesn’t feel like it at the time. But feelings are funny things, and they can cloud judgement quite a lot. While you can’t put your emotions fully to one side, there are some things to consider when in a clearer state of mind.

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Marriage

If you are married, there are a few things to consider. It may be better to stay married for certain tax benefits and pension considerations, but if that is not an option then get a good company and a good representative on your case, such as a divorce lawyer from IRB Law. It can be a tough process to go through, but it’s for the best if you can’t come to any agreements on property and possessions and will also free you up for any future marriage to a potential partner.

Children

If you have children together, it’s going to be a heartbreaking time for them too. What they have grown up with and have adapted to is about to change. While this can sound scary and enough to put you off the whole idea, you need to consider their needs too. Listen to them and constantly reassure them. When you are young, your parents are your world – to see your world split in half is not a nice thing to see.

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Friends

Friends are there for you – at least, that’s how the theme tune goes. If you have made friends together, there are some who will take sides and some who will support the both of you. Other will just slink away, and it’s something that you have to come to accept. If you drag your friends into your problems without them wanting to be a part of it, you face losing them completely. Keep your personal life separate and remember that your partner is their friend too – it can be quite hurtful for them to hear nasty things being said.

The Future

You must always look for the optimism in everything in life. If you are more open to the positives than the negatives, this will set you in good stead for getting on and thriving out of what can be an otherwise awful time. Keep those who matter close to you and indulge yourself in the things that you like. There may be a time when you get back together lodged somewhere in the future, but don’t get caught up in trying to bring up the past to ensure what you’ve got set ahead of you. There are so many people in the world that it’s possible that you just haven’t found your soulmate yet – your time will come.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram