Tag Archives: breaking up

How to Deal With Engagement Call Off in The Least Torturous Way Possible

How to Deal With Engagement Call Off in The Least Torturous Way Possible

By Caitlin E.

Woman is taking off the wedding ring

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Breaking up is always difficult, regardless of the circumstances, but calling off an engagement is a whole new level of heart crushing. To enter such a “deal” with someone, in the first place, it takes being committed to someone to the point of wanting to grow old together. What makes it even more heart wrenching is that this relationship usually includes friends, family, finances, and logging.

Calling off an engagement that could lead to a bad marriage is kinder than building a bad marriage. It is possible, but how to go through such a turmoil in the least torturous way possible?

Saying the words

‘We need to talk’ is probably the most horrifying sentence to say and to hear, but sometimes it has to be said. Beating around the bush is the worst thing you can do. Instead, face the problem head-on. Say what it is that you want and why you want it. Include your fiancé[e] in the conversation. Talk with respect and kindness. Again, if you are not the one saying the words, have understanding for your partner’s reasons and try to bear it calmly.

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Dealing with the emotional aftermath

The breakup is a serious trauma and all persons involved need to have time to grieve and heal. It is best to give each other space and resist the temptation to enter the endless “why” discussions and to be a part of each other’s lives, no matter the cost. This doesn’t mean that, later on, you won’t be able to have normal conversations or even be friends, but, for now, you need time to mend your wounds.

Solving the financial and living situation

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If you and your former partner have lived together and shared expenses, you probably have more ties beyond the emotional ones. If you are still living together, until one of you finds a new place, make agreements about respectful cohabitation, and search for a new place as soon as possible. Paying the rent and bills should be divided equally, even if you are not talking to each other, this is something you need to resolve.

Whose is the engagement ring?

Engagement rings are usually considered gifts contingent on a wedding ceremony taking place. This means that the bride should return the ring. Still, if the ring was offered as a gift for a special occasion (e.g., birthday), it is hers to keep.

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State laws vary when it comes to the question who gets the ring. Some states consider the ring a gift, while others have special terms in regards who breaks the engagement.

If there is a disagreement over the ring you can seek legal counsel, but it is always better to talk things through.

Announcing the breakup

People you work with, your family, and friends will want to know the engagement is called off. Since you don’t want to be the topic of gossip and conversation, it is best to tell them yourself. There is no easy way to do this, but it is the least painful for you and your former fiancé[e] divide the list of guests. To avoid going through this too many times, make announcements to groups of friends and family. Do not play the “blame game”, say it is over in the most respectful way and that it is not open for discussion.

Making formal cancelations

The clergy member or wedding officiate needs to know the wedding is canceled so he or she can take the date off the busy schedule. Keep in mind that some clergy members can recommend at least one counseling session. You will also need to contact all the vendors you have hired to provide services during the ceremony or the reception. You probably won’t get your deposit back and, in some cases, you will be liable for part of the payment.

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Regardless of the reason of calling off the engagement, both of you should always keep in mind, and constantly repeat to yourselves if necessary, that the person you are leaving behind is the same person you once loved so much that you wanted to make an unbreakable vow to love and to hold for the rest of your lives.

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram.

Saying Goodbye To That Relationship And Starting Fresh

Saying Goodbye To That Relationship And Starting Fresh

Pexels

 

It’s always a tough time when you reach the end of a relationship. After all, you might have been with the person a number of years. And they probably have been the closest person to you. And if you are married, it can be even tougher as you have to go through a tricky divorce. But it’s important to remember there is a fresh start at the end of this difficult time. In fact, here is some help to ensure you can say goodbye to that relationship for good.

 

Put pictures away in a box

 

It’s always photos which can spark up memories of your life with your ex. In fact, you can just glance at a picture of the wedding, or even a photo of your first date, and it can send you back to the time. Therefore, to help you through to the other side, you need to remove all photos in your home of your other half. You might not want to throw them in the bin. After all, you can’t wipe the memories completely from your life. Therefore, get a box which you can fill with pictures of the past relationship. Putting them away can help you move on with your life. As for social media, it’s a good idea to delete photographs of you with your old partner. After all, it will ensure you get no reminders of the past relationship on your timeline. And you might want to unfriend them. That way, it will stop you becoming a regular stalker on their profile!

 

Get rid of any permanent reminders

 

While you might be able to put old photos away in a box, it can be harder when it comes to more permanent reminders. For example, you might still be wearing your wedding ring on your finger. But if you keep seeing it when you are going about your day, it’s going to make it tricky to say goodbye to your relationship. Therefore, take the ring off as soon as possible and put it away in the drawer. Also, if you have any tattoos of your partner’s name, it’s now time to get rid of it. After all, you don’t want this permanent reminder of your ex on your skin. In fact, you might want to book in for tattoo removal to ensure it’s a distant memory. And with these permanent reminders gone, you can move on with your life.

 

Look into moving place

 

You might have spent the last few years living with your other half. But now you have split, your partner might be letting you stay in the humble abode. But it’s always a good idea to start somewhere new if you want to say goodbye to the relationship for good. After all, there will be a ton of memories you will have shared together in the place. And it will always feel like the home of the two of you. Therefore, give your notice to the landlord or sell up to ensure you can find somewhere new to start again.

 

And remember to have a final chat with your ex. So many couples leave things unsaid. But to ensure you can move on, it’s time to have a chat with your other half to ensure you say everything you want to!

Tia, and TipsfromTia.com  is trying to keep you looking good and
feeling good, from the inside out. If you’ve got a problem or a tip email me! Be sure to Like and share on Facebook or Follow on Twitter or Instagram